Personality Assets

[Charlotte]

Can some of our personality assets have negative implications?

For example: I am EXTREMLY ambitious, driven and will accept nothing short of the very best. Having this menality has proven to be successful for me in the job market, school, goals, etc. however in the relationship arena I have subconsciously made my man feel nothing he does makes me happy. (Not the case. For example, If I'm accustomed to Gucci Parfume and he buys Vaniella Musk.

Or another example, would be Terrell Owens. This man thrives in the lime light. He must ALWAYS be center of attention, he appears to do his absolute best when the world is watching. If he is not the focal point he will cry on national television or even attempt suicide.

My question is: "Have you some personality traits that have both positive and negative implications"? If some traits have negative implications how do you make it positive?

((I hope all this make sense to someone))------> Also posted in "Off Topic Forum"

 

[tyrablu]

I understand where you are coming from. I too have had some personality traits that could appear positive but somehow they turn into a negative.

I am ambitious just has you are, and I have had the same problem with men thinking they can't make me happy. It's not that at all, I just don't wear vanilla musk and will not wear it even if it came from you. That doesn't make me a bad person per say, to men it just comes across that way.

I also realized that I can be a bit controlling, and that kinda stems from my ambitious nature and wanting to control my own destiny.

I have learned alot about my self during my last relationship and my "positive" ways. I have just got to find the perfect balance where my positives don't cross the line and become negatives. It's hard though. But I realized that not everything is that big of a deal, or that serious.

 

[Dposh167]

Yes...

I have a very 'strong emotional independent characteristic'erplexed. Which works great for everything else in my life. But in relationships...it has been a burden. If I feel a guy is not giving me his highest emotional capability...then I'm quick to rule him out of my life. (Even if he truly is giving his all...i still don't see it.)

My motto is, 'i can do bad all by myself'. which has helped me independently, but has honestly runined some relationships.

For example: if i'm having a bad week, I know exactly how to cheer myself up emotionally. But if i'm in a relationship, I like to talk to an SO about it and I would hope that he wants to listen & help cheer me up.
If he can't cheer me up the way I can do it myself. Or if he lacks the interest...then he's history in my book..

...a horrible trait of mine

 

[drasgrl]

I'm extremely independent. I don't need any body to do a thing for me. I also like to be alone and will do things by myself. I also don't like people to know everything about me. I might tell you personal things if I'm close to you but you really won't know the true me.

 

[DarkDesire]

I'm extremely independent. I don't need any body to do a thing for me. I also like to be alone and will do things by myself. I also don't like people to know everything about me. I might tell you personal things if I'm close to you but you really won't know the true me.

You just described me too! But for me, it's not even a question of whether I like it or not, it's just something that is impossible for me to do. I can listen endlessly to the problems of other people if they want me to, but try to get me to spill, and i'm all locked up. Which is terrible, because it comes under the relationship heading of 'giving and taking'. That goes for secrets too - in platonic relationships for example, if someone tells me something that is a blatant secret, it won't escape my lips. Which has been a problem amongst mutual friends - they can tend to feel i'm hiding things from them when they eventually find out.