Personal spinoff : The beauty of a man...

[Mamita]

Ladies, i have a question. The "perfect man" u described, as far as inside qualities, I have him, he's right there (please no details, it's long distance, it's complicated etc...) BUT we clash...
I love that he has all those qualities, that he's gonna provide, that Jesus is first in his life, that he wants the best (or what he sees as the best at least) for me, prays for me, wants to wait until marriage for sex etc i even catch myself having daydreams of "suburbia" (unheard of for me lol)... but... we clash, one of the biggest problems I have with him is : he has almost no filter between his brain and mouth, and i'm a very sensitive person, he's very upfront, it's not that he doesn't care what he says will do, but if it's the truth he's gonna say it, and i have a problem with non diplomatic people... it's lots of little things like that. So i was wondering, am i being too demanding if he has all the basic qualities needed, or is it just that some good men are just not well matched enough for just any woman? Is it me? or does it happen?

 

[Divine Inspiration]

It happens. Just because a man looks good on paper or has all the qualities on a checklist does NOT mean that he will be perfectly suited for any other Christian woman.

As Christians, we are STILL people...we still have personalities, preferences, quirks and imperfections. If he truly were perfect for you, you probably wouldn't be asking this question. JMO

Have you tried discussing this with him? Perhaps it's unintentional, and he's not aware of how abrasive he comes off.

 

[cocoberry10]

It happens. Just because a man looks good on paper or has all the qualities on a checklist does NOT mean that he will be perfectly suited for any other Christian woman.

As Christians, we are STILL people...we still have personalities, preferences, quirks and imperfections. If he truly were perfect for you, you probably wouldn't be asking this question. JMO

Have you tried discussing this with him? Perhaps it's unintentional, and he's not aware of how abrasive he comes off.

I agree with this. You should try talking with him first, and see how things go. You may find a balance. I was very sensitive as a child also, so I understand how you feel. But as an adult, I've come to appreciate people who are honest, but there is a way to be honest AND diplomatic in my opinion, and maybe he can work on it. Relationships are about bettering one another, and maybe this is where you can help him.

It's unfortunate for us, b/c our society has lead us to believe that there are so few good men out there, that when we meet one, we think we should hold on, even if we aren't compatible. I'm not saying that you may not be compatible with him, but only time will tell.

 

[Shimmie]

Ask yourself this question? What am I afraid of? Just ask yourself...'what am I afraid of?

Then honestly and privately write down every single answer that speaks to your heart. No matter what the answers are, write them down...whenever they come into your spirit, write. God will meet you there with what you've been seeking.

As for your friend, he's been this way probably all of his life. And even if/when you make him aware of this 'clash' in your temperments, he may only make a temporal change. He's become and acts this way for a reason.

God will always give us a 'window' view of a person, before we actually walk over the thresh hold and into the foyer. I"m only guessing, but like most women, you may have been in the 'foyer' hoping that you could either handle this, ignore it, or that he would change.

But God is not going to let you off that easy. He's calling you to face up to you...not just him, but you. You are a beautiful woman; don't be afraid to make your friend aware of this and to respect you; for he is extremely fortunate and blessed to have you in his life. It's time for him to behave as such. You are just the one to make him shut his mouth.

Sooooo, what are you afraid of? Losing him? or Losing you?

 

[Mamita]

Ladies all of u are right : Divine, naah he knows, i've told him several times, sometimes he remembers and adds the simple "please don't take it the wrong way" i asked him to use, but yeah, it only lasts a short period of time lol; He knows exactly what's up lol he's totally aware lol

Cocoberry : U are absolutely right about society and how they depict good men !! It's extremely tricky, how much of a subconscious influence has society on me, unfortunately i can't say, all i know is i don't wanna let go...

Shimmie : I sometimes see it like that too lol I'll be the one to shut him up, he hasn't been exposed enough yet to change even a lil, i mean u imitate the one u love when u're near them enough ... and yeah, u guessed right ! this is exactly where i am, exactly what i'm wishing right now !!!
I know exactly what i'm afraid of, although it's less and less with time because of all the changes that have happened in me so far, but i still have a long way to go, if I go this way : i'm afraid i'll lose myself, my flavor, my personality etc... At the same time i can't deny that no one has ever had the effect he's had on me, and that i feel a huge depression coming if we don't work out !! and we can't deny that a story like ours is nothing short of weird amazing all u want, we call it His plan lol but yeah, i mean i'm french and cuban, so it's a lot of different flavors rolled in one that i do'nt wanna lose, I was raised French, VERY proud, i don't wanna lose that pride because egos are not good for the soul (french people would say "f** my soul then" lol see how serious it could be lol)... that's what scares me the most

 

[Shimmie]

Ladies all of u are right : Divine, naah he knows, i've told him several times, sometimes he remembers and adds the simple "please don't take it the wrong way" i asked him to use, but yeah, it only lasts a short period of time lol; He knows exactly what's up lol he's totally aware lol

Cocoberry : U are absolutely right about society and how they depict good men !! It's extremely tricky, how much of a subconscious influence has society on me, unfortunately i can't say, all i know is i don't wanna let go...

Shimmie : I sometimes see it like that too lol I'll be the one to shut him up, he hasn't been exposed enough yet to change even a lil, i mean u imitate the one u love when u're near them enough ... and yeah, u guessed right ! this is exactly where i am, exactly what i'm wishing right now !!!
I know exactly what i'm afraid of, although it's less and less with time because of all the changes that have happened in me so far, but i still have a long way to go, if I go this way : i'm afraid i'll lose myself, my flavor, my personality etc...

At the same time i can't deny that no one has ever had the effect he's had on me, and that i feel a huge depression coming if we don't work out !! and we can't deny that a story like ours is nothing short of weird amazing all u want, we call it His plan lol but yeah, i mean i'm french and cuban, so it's a lot of different flavors rolled in one that i do'nt wanna lose, I was raised French, VERY proud, i don't wanna lose that pride because egos are not good for the soul (french people would say "f** my soul then" lol see how serious it could be lol)... that's what scares me the most

Let's go back to "what are you afraid of?" Losing him...because you have released to him a part of your soul. That's the effect that he has upon you...he has a part of your soul. Losing him is losing you.

You love him and you've placed both your heart and soul into him. Yet you're still standing in the 'foyer' of this relationship...neither of you have truly entered in...to become fully committed to making it work.

Well, there's a lot to face up to here. The only thing that makes him the perfect man is the beauty of the love flowing from your heart that veils him...all around. Love does that to us. The man we love while he can do wrong, yet in our 'eye's not be wrong. While love does cover a 'multitude of sins', it's not always enough and I sense that you see this...love is not going to 'fix' this... alone.

This is where we step down and kneel down and allow God to intervene and to take full control.

We love our men...I'd be lying and flying if I said otherwise. But when we have this many questions and doubts going on, we have to let them go and let God take over. There's just no other way to make it right.

Hugs....

 

[Divine Inspiration]

This is where we step down and kneel down and allow God to intervene and to take full control.

We love our men...I'd be lying and flying if I said otherwise. But when we have this many questions and doubts going on, we have to let them go and let God take over. There's just no other way to make it right.

Agreed!

GOD should be answering your questions about this man. If I were you, I would be asking God to reveal Himself to me and keep me in His will. I'd go so far as to ask Him to remove this man if he's not right for me. I've done it before, and God, in his glorious mystery, removed the man from me without me having to lift a finger.

God loves us tremendously...more than we can even fathom and as such, He wants to be there for us and provide for us. We should take EVERYTHING to him in prayer and supplication.

 

[Shimmie]

Agreed!

GOD should be answering your questions about this man. If I were you, I would be asking God to reveal Himself to me and keep me in His will. I'd go so far as to ask Him to remove this man if he's not right for me. I've done it before, and God, in his glorious mystery, removed the man from me without me having to lift a finger.

God loves us tremendously...more than we can even fathom and as such, He wants to be there for us and provide for us. We should take EVERYTHING to him in prayer and supplication.

This I can personally 'attest' to. With my most 'recent' friend, the Lord had been 'dealing' with me about him. There is absolutely nothing wrong about this man. Nothing. But one day, I was sitting at my desk (at home) and while looking at his picture, the following prayer came up out of my spirit..."Lord, if he's not 'the' one, show me...

And that's what God did...he showed me that he wasn't the one. We're still good friends. But I'd rather 'know' now than later about him. I have total peace and I'm not afraid to 'move on.' God has someone else in his heart for me. In the meantime...I'm practicing my 'dance moves'... and perfecting my "Derrierre' Bounces" from the other thread.

 

[Mamita]

Ladies THANK U, of course i'm gonna do that! I was thinking all that, u just put it in words for me, thank u

wow u guys have a way with words huh? THat's exactly what i'll do, give my fear to the Lord for him to do whatever he wants with it, and ask him to help me please him however that is...