People Touching Your Hair

[Allandra]

Good morning everyone, and happy Saturday. I hope your day is off to a great start.

We all know how we feel about people touching our hair.

Two days prior to starting chemotherapy, my hair was shaved off and preserved. I do not wear wigs, but I love pretty scarves and cute hats (so that's what I wore while I was bald). My hair started growing back just before finishing chemotherapy (finished chemotherapy on February 21, 2017).

I still enjoy wearing my pretty scarves and cute hats. The first day I went without a hat or scarf in public was earlier this week (because it was hot as hell). At first I wasn't comfortable with it, because I have never worn such short hair as an adult. It didn't take too long to get use to it since it was so darn hot.

There were a couple of times where I was around relatives, and I knew since I didn't have on a scarf or a hat, someone would attempt to touch my hair. Well, three people touched my hair (all related to me). I know I could have stopped them, but I wanted to let them 'get it out of their system' (although I could feel myself cringe a bit when their hand touched my hair). Because I know on any future attempts, I would pull my head back and politely say 'please don't touch my hair' or either do a karate kick and politely say 'please don't touch my hair'. You already know me, so yes, I washed my hair once I got home.

Well, I will be around a bunch of people today (later this afternoon and evening). I will place a scarf and a hat in my vehicle because I already know I won't feel like pulling my head back or doing any karate kicks today. Our hair is our hair. It's our 'personal property'. I know most people have never seen me with hair this short. Heck, I haven't even seen me with hair this short until now. Some of my relatives may have seen me with hair this short when I was a BABY. Hey, maybe I should take a flyswatter or a water gun and use it on anyone who attempts to touch my damn hair today.

 

[FoundMyCurls]

I hate that people thinks it's okay to just touch someone else's hair. It's not. What are they hoping to get by touching it anyway? I've never been a hair toucher (is that a word?), so I don't get it. I think you should just tell people who start reaching to just stop. I know they are relatives, but you still deserve respect. I hope your day goes well.

 

[Colocha]

Congrats on finishing chemo!!

I get the issue too, mostly with my mother. I just let her do it most times, though it is annoying.

 

[IDareT'sHair]

@Allandra


Awww Sis.....they probably don't know what to say, and invading your "personal space" i.e. "tocuhing your hair" is probably their own way of showing you affection especially if they know what was going on with you.

But I really like the Squirt-Gun idea especially since it's so dang hot. (You should do it)

I bet short hair really looks cute on you. But I'm glad you're "on the grow"

 

[GGsKin]

Maybe your hair looks so soft, they just can't resist. I like the idea of it being a way for them to show you affection. I also like your fly swatter or water gun idea.
I feel funny because I've never really minded people, especially family touching my hair, unless they were being rough (or searching for tracks/ lace- I think I mentioned here what a co-worker did to me once). I do wonder what possesses them to try though. It happened to me just the other day. I often do hair for friends, family and some strangers and I still don't randomly go grabbing at folks strands.

 

[KinksAndInk]

I hit people when they touch my hair and not with a light hand either. I make it known that I don't like my hair touched so if you can't respect that then maybe you can accept the consequences. I vote for karate kicks though.

 

[DST1913]

Congrats on completing your chemo. I wish you well.

I'm in the very small minority in the hair touching category. It doesn't bother me especially if it's a family memeber or someone I know. They dont even have to ask me. Ive had coworkers curious about my diff hairstyles that have said "can I touch it?" and I always have said "sure". For coworkers I use it as a teachable moment and explain to them about my hair. Now I've never in my life had a random stranger out in public just touch my hair. That would not be welcomed by me, but in the other scenarios it doesn't bother me one bit. My cousin just did it a few weeks ago and I was like while your touching you can give me a scalp massage and she gave me one. Lol

 

[LushLox]

Congratulations on getting through your treatment

I don't mind my my mum or my immediate family and obviously SO. Anyone else sorry no. The hygiene practices of some people are questionable, I don't know where your hands have been.

 

[discodumpling]

Family I don't mind. Strangers get a matrix move AND a side eye. A few co-workers (older y/t women) have approached me from the back and surprised me by touching my mane...it definitely made me squirm and immediately feel the need to wash my hair and reset my wash n go though! I understand the curiosity of those who are not used to Black beauty up close and personal.

I LOVE the feel of my Mama's, or my Aunty or my older cousins hands in my hair. Pretty much anybody who is intimately familiar with my hair can touch it at will.

Some people don't know how to interact respectfully with nappy, curly kinky hair..they wanna run their hands through it when the proper way to explore is to smoosh it folks need to be trained.

 

[FoundMyCurls]

Congratulations on getting through your treatment

I don't mind my my mum or my immediate family and obviously SO. Anyone else sorry no. The hygiene practices of some people are questionable, I don't know where your hands have been.

Exactly. Recently at work, one of the ladies was sneezing and blowing her nose constantly and not washing her hands. At one point, she was behind me and I heard her say, "I love your hair." My alert went off and I immediately swung around in the chair. I knew what would follow. Sure enough, I caught her hand out stretched to touch my hair. I was not having it. I don't want someone and their nasty hands touching me. Nope!

 

[Allandra]

Well, I didn't have to give any karate kicks yesterday. Thankfully, everyone kept their hands to themselves. I have been receiving a lot of compliments on my hair (even though I don't care for short hair on me). I always say thank you.

BTW, I'm still in treatment, but thankfully I'm hanging in there, and I'm doing ok.

Have a super Sunday.