OMG!!! YA'LL!!! will.not.believe.this!!!!

[curlyninjagirl]

I'm sorry....I'm appalled that kids this young are handling dangerous caustic chemicals. She could've really injured herself very badly. It won't ever be my child....I'll leave it at that.

 

[Yoshi3329]

Her self-esteem issues could do with anything, the OP never specified hair. Still, if relaxing her hair did make her feel better the emphasis should definitely be on making sure she has the tools to care for her hair and maintain it.

Yeah, because putting this in the HAIR SECTION means absolutely nothing... Why not put this in the Off topic section then if this had nothing related to hair?

And what this with the black bolded? Your actually okay with this girl finding self esteem in a jar of caustic chemicals? That's how you expect this girl to get self esteem? And here I am trying to get my niece to set goals and complete them like a sucker. It's called self esteem for a reason people.

Really?

...

Really now?

...

Ugh, not my future daughter... I'm done.
​

 

[LittleLuxe]

Yeah, because putting this in the HAIR SECTION means absolutely nothing... Why not put this in the Off topic section then if this had nothing related to hair?

And what this with the black bolded? Your actually okay with this girl finding self esteem in a jar of caustic chemicals? That's how you expect this girl to get self esteem? And here I am trying to get my niece to set goals and complete them like a sucker. It's called self esteem for a reason people.

Really?

...

Really now?

...

Ugh, not my daughter... I'm done.
​

Sorry I tend not to make assumptions, I learned about that early in life, thus I'm not going to assume that her self-confidence issues are about hair until the OP says so. Furthermore following logic the OP's entire post was about a 12 year old being CAPABLE of self-relaxing, so why wouldn't it go in this section?

Obviously this is very emotional for you based on your reaction but I'm trying to be a little more understanding.

Her hair is relaxed now. It can't magically be un-relaxed. So the best option is for her to get helpful tips to improve and maintain her relaxed hair. Again, until the OP does specify what her self-esteem issues are about I'm not going to assume. 12 yr olds do have other issues, at 12 my issues were about my weight.

What you do with your daughter has nothing to do with this child's hair nor her personal self-esteem. It has nothing to do with goals set and not met and until I hear it from the person who posted this I'm going to keep an open mind. Just the way I am.

 

[NAPPYCHICK86]

I think some people are overreacting. She's 12..so what? I did my own hair at that age. Would I let my daughter do it?Hellz Naw! But her hair is relaxed now so she'll need support and someone to teacher her about DC and protein treatments.

 

[Chaosbutterfly]

You know....if she does come lurk here, I hope she doesn't see this thread. People acting like she's building a nuclear bomb in her basement.
I don't like that she did it on her own, but instead of grumbling about her self esteem and all, we really should be compiling a list of stuff to tell her about how to maintain her hair. And just in case, how to transition back to natural.

And as an aside, OP, why did your boss have his/her hands all up in the little girl's hair? Maybe she was wincing because she didn't like how your boss was feeling all up on her head. erplexed

 

[Urban]

10???? I don't think there's a way to justify that one. Relaxers are dangerous chemicals,even adults burn the heck out of their scalps, and other body parts with that stuff. TEN??? That ain't right. We need to do better y'all .

 

[SiobhanM]

My issue is not that she relaxed her hair as previously stated my issue is that its a bad idea if she did it because of self esteem.
I think we need to educate our youth that kinky is not as bad as it seems and maybe how to maintain hair before relaxing.
IIf i was 12 and I lurked here I may have not relaxed.
I dont know her situation and I dont know if her self esteem is related to hair but im just saying if it is.
Like i said I always did my relaxers since I was young BUT me personally I thought my hair was nappy and ugly.
I just want to make sure shes relaxing for the right reasons, and maybe at 12 she cannot come to a logical explanation to relax her hair.
Now being that she did I just hope someone is able to point her in the right direction of proper hair maintenance.

Tis all.

 

[notlookingback06]

Thank goodness she has you to turn to. She'll need help/advice to keep it healthy.

ITA!!!

 

[notlookingback06]

You know....if she does come lurk here, I hope she doesn't see this thread. People acting like she's building a nuclear bomb in her basement.
I don't like that she did it on her own, but instead of grumbling about her self esteem and all, we really should be compiling a list of stuff to tell her about how to maintain her hair. And just in case, how to transition back to natural.

And as an aside, OP, why did your boss have his/her hands all up in the little girl's hair? Maybe she was wincing because she didn't like how your boss was feeling all up on her head. erplexed

ITA with the bolded statement above!!!

 

[NaturalPath]

Yeah, because a relaxer is really gonna help her with her self esteem issues. If anything it's just masking it.

I don't care what anyone says, a child shouldn't be handling caustic chemicals at such a young age. It's a shame she may feel that a relaxer will solve all her beauty problems. Bottom line:

This isn't cute.

This isn't funny.

This isn't cool.

And this certainty isn't a healthy way of growing up.

So what if a 12 year old wants to relax her hair. We have no way of knowing why she wants to; maybe she just prefers straight hair. And whose to say that she has a beauty issue??

Besides 10,11,12 year old girls are having sex & having babies, applying a relaxer (if done right & with good technique) should be the least of our worries.

There are really mature girls at 12; maybe more so than some adults



ETA: We argued before that when mothers were relaxing their babies hair at 5 years old that it was waaaaay to early, now were arguing because she is 12......lawd yall just so inconsistent

 

[bride91501]

Well, as a mother of a little black girl around her age (with the thickest nappiest most beautiful head of hair I've ever seen might I add lol), it saddens me if she felt the need to relax because of self-esteem issues. This is a sore spot for me as a mother of 3 girls, cuz my DH and I are raising them to love EVERYTHING about themselves, even their "poofy" hair. I also think relaxers are chemicals best handled by a professional, definitely not a 12 year old child.

BUT

At this point, all the OP can do is educate her on how to maintain her hair, relaxed and all. I would also include grandma in on the discussion, as the little girl is still, IMO, too young to be making these decisions solely on her own.

 

[LaFemmeNaturelle]

Lots of 12 year olds do their own hair even without the mirror set up. I still don't have a mirror set up although I really need to get one. I could do my own hair at the age of 10 or 11 - this did not include relaxers coz that wasn't in my vocabulary back then but if it was who knows. Many kids that age flat iron and/or curl their own hair. I don't know if I'd point a 12 year old in the direction of a hair board. If they're doing it on their own I suppose you can't stop them of course but how's a 12 year old going to handle bandwagons and product junkism assuming she has no money? It's easy enough to do simple things like keep your hair moisturized and detangle carefully which is all I was told as a child long before hair boards. As far as I'm concerned this is grown folks recreation, best enjoyed when you have discretionary income. jmho.

At the first bolded, there are alot of middle school girls and young high schoolers that go on hairlista. I know because I speak with them on the chat. I don't think you have to be an age requirement to get knowledge from a hair board. I also don't hop on bandwagons and don't pick up all the products everyone raves about. I think at 12 I was mature enough to handle a hair board, considering the other things I did. But I dont know this girl but it can't hurt to tell her about it. But bandwagons and buying products are not necessary. I definitely have not spent tons of money on products and I don't even believe in spending more than 6 dollars on a product.

Second bolded. Im a college student. I don't have an income

 

[FebeeSigns]

.......

 

[BrooklynSouth]

OK, the deed is done. Hopefully you can educate her about TOUCHUPS! She needs to understand when to relax again{-not everytime she sees a kink-}without over lapping and needs to understand a relaxer is not going to permanently have her hair straight without those touchups. She needs to understand daily maintainence too. Speaking of touching..I'd not be touching that kid's hair without permission.

 

[SiobhanM]

OK, the deed is done. Hopefully you can educate her about TOUCHUPS! She needs to understand when to relax again{-not everytime she sees a kink-}without over lapping and needs to understand a relaxer is not going to permanently have her hair straight without those touchups. She needs to understand daily maintainence too. Speaking of touching..I'd not be touching that kid's hair without permission.

Exactly. When I was younger i thought as soon as i saw a kink that meant relax. I think I applied relaxer to my hair every 3 or 4 weeks AND to my entire head not just a touch up

Oh the memories!

Or when it was hot and my hair would get puffy and I thought I "sweat my perm out" and then the next day relax

I just want the child to be properly educated.

 

[Jas123]

i started doing my relaxers @ 13 and have continued to do so... my mom taught me

 

[JKSprite]

Honestly I learned how to perm my own hair when I was 10 I didn't start having problems with my relaxers breaking my hair off until I started going to salons and having them do my perms.

Same here, I started perming my own hair at the age of 12 after my mom was too busy to keep up with the perming routine. I never went to a salon, but my one and only issue with perming my own hair was that I never learned about "stretching". I would perm my hair like once every 4 weeks. I had loooonnnnggg hair, but it was very thin. Education is the key

 

[Kindheart]

To be honest its like hearing a child had her first cigarette at 12 to help her fit in the crowd.
Relaxers are caustic chemicals ,they re dangerous,toxic (and that's a fact) and shouldn't be near a child's hands.
When her hair will break off and get all dry and stiff (especially after SHE WILL do her NG overlapping on relaxed hair)she ll regret it and perhaps she won't now but she will in the future when she ll have more knowledge about hair care .
Relaxed hair require a lot of maintenance,I ve been relaxed for 5 years with ALL the knowledge of hair boards and was still a pain to keep long and full .Shedding was my middle name .
What God gave me works so much better. 

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