Okay, am I looking too much into this?-kinda long

[BroadstreetBully]

Goodness, I feel like I'm returning to old ways . I'm too lame, but I like talking about relationships to you all!

So I've been single for a few months, and while I enjoyed the single life for a while I was bitten by that lonliness bug. So Spring semester starts and I figure I might meet a fling somewhere on campus. Well lo and behold, in one of my courses this guy walks in and I am sorta drawn to him. I mean he's cute and "unique" (I love unique)...but I kinda figured he wouldn't see me as his type so I forgot about him and focused on some other guys as well as my studies

Well lately I've noticed that he's been staring at me. At first I thought I was paranoid, but I realized he really was staring at me all the time. I even moved on the other side of the hall in the back, and he still managed to turn around and stare at me. I don't return eye contact. I don't know if he's interested or if I have something on my face. But I find it flattering.

Well here's the thing. Old me would try to initiate convo, but I'm tired of being to one to get things started. It never works out when I do. I figure this, whenever I REALLY wanted to get to know a guy, I'd go out of the way to find out more about him, and to approach him. So I figure any guy who thinks I'm worth getting to know would do the same. I guess I'm tired of the shy, "admire from afar" types.

So do you think it's a good idea for me to focus my attention elsewhere, unless he decides to approach? Would I be doing too much by smiling at him? I guess for once I want to be chased. Not just "looked at", no matter how shy a guy might be.

 

[KiSseS03]

I don't see anything wrong with giving him a smile, that may be all the encouragement he needs. I'd let him approach though..

 

[winterinatl]

Wait for him to approach you.

Like you, I've learned the hard way and never approach men. Just recently I posted about a cute pharmacist that was clearly flirting with me...well I saw the brand new wedding band on his hand the other day erplexed. So glad I kept my mouth shut.

Sometimes they stare, admire, and flirt, but aren't really available so they say nothing. Then we jump up and introduce ourselves and give out numbers and ask for dates and this makes it just that much easier for them to make bad choices (ex: cheating on wife).

 

[BroadstreetBully]

I don't see anything wrong with giving him a smile, that may be all the encouragement he needs. I'd let him approach though..

Exactly, it makes more sense for me to go with what feels right inside, and that FEELS right. Just waiting on someone to approach. Hey, you snooze you lose right?

 

[BroadstreetBully]

Wait for him to approach you.

Like you, I've learned the hard way and never approach men. Just recently I posted about a cute pharmacist that was clearly flirting with me...well I saw the brand new wedding band on his hand the other day erplexed. So glad I kept my mouth shut.

Sometimes they stare, admire, and flirt, but aren't really available so they say nothing. Then we jump up and introduce ourselves and give out numbers and ask for dates and this makes it just that much easier for them to make bad choices (ex: cheating on wife).

I've had that happen TOO MANY TIMES! You ladies are right, I'll leave it alone. If they are really into you, they will approach. I've done it, so they can too. Thanks!

 

[Bunny77]

Wait for him to approach you.

Like you, I've learned the hard way and never approach men. Just recently I posted about a cute pharmacist that was clearly flirting with me...well I saw the brand new wedding band on his hand the other day erplexed. So glad I kept my mouth shut.

Sometimes they stare, admire, and flirt, but aren't really available so they say nothing. Then we jump up and introduce ourselves and give out numbers and ask for dates and this makes it just that much easier for them to make bad choices (ex: cheating on wife).

Man, men are a trip!

My mom was trying to set me up a few years ago with a guy at a luxury car dealership. Before it actually happened, he met a woman who he eventually married. Okay cool, I'm happy for him.

So my mom sees him recently and he asks about me. She said she told me that he'd gotten married and he was like, "So, what did she say? What did she think about me?"

And it's like, why should you care? You got your woman, don't worry!

Some men just like to flirt even though they're attached. They like the attention from women... one guy calls me sweetie every time we talk on the phone or in person but has he ever asked me out? Nope.

RedRiot, just be friendly and inviting, but let him ask you out, okay?

 

[stinastina]

If you ever change your mind, you can always ask him an innocent question about class. As far as classmates go, it never hurts to have friends in class since you might get sick and need to borrow someone's notes. :wink2:

 

[BroadstreetBully]

Man, men are a trip!

My mom was trying to set me up a few years ago with a guy at a luxury car dealership. Before it actually happened, he met a woman who he eventually married. Okay cool, I'm happy for him.

So my mom sees him recently and he asks about me. She said she told me that he'd gotten married and he was like, "So, what did she say? What did she think about me?"

And it's like, why should you care? You got your woman, don't worry!

Some men just like to flirt even though they're attached. They like the attention from women... one guy calls me sweetie every time we talk on the phone or in person but has he ever asked me out? Nope.

RedRiot, just be friendly and inviting, but let him ask you out, okay?

I know, and I'm so tired of being embarassed because I decided to take the bait.


So there is this OTHER guy in another one of my courses who I know is into me for a fact. He makes small talk and what not. I'm not interested though. But in a case like this, if I were interested I would have daily conversations with him and see where it leads, but I'm not going out of my way for any guy who doesn't make a similar effort. So when I get the urge to put myself on the line, and approach a guy, I remind myself of the guys who actually "man up" and make the effort.

Oh and once again today he was staring at me. Typical male. Typical

 

[winterinatl]

Shoot at least you have MEN in your classes.

I was all geeked up when I began the master's because I thought I'd be exposed to like minded men....sheeeeeit

That blasted college is FULL of nothing but vagina...

 

[br0wney3z]

Shoot at least you have MEN in your classes.

I was all geeked up when I began the master's because I thought I'd be exposed to like minded men....sheeeeeit


I had the same idea when I started my graduate program. I was all excited that I was at a big school (my undergrad was only 2000 ppl). Got to my program...they were like 6 men, 3 married, 1 gay, 1 suspect and the other was just all wrong. Okay i exaggerate, but it was really like that
That blasted college is FULL of nothing but vagina...

 

[frizzy]

Next time you catch him staring, look at him, raise your eyebrows (like huh) and mouth to him "what?" Lemme know how long it takes for him to come to you and strike up a convo.

 

[BroadstreetBully]

Next time you catch him staring, look at him, raise your eyebrows (like huh) and mouth to him "what?" Lemme know how long it takes for him to come to you and strike up a convo.

Lol, perhaps I should try this. I just know how embarassing it is to be caught staring. But oh well..this is my plan of action.

 

[DarkAngell]

I don't see anything wrong with giving him a smile, that may be all the encouragement he needs. I'd let him approach though..

My thoughts EXACLTY!!! He just needs that little hint that you wont bite his head off if he approaches. Give him a smile and lock eyes for a sec. I think then he'll definately approach!

Looking away quick and not holding that eye contact may have him thinking your not interested.

 

[runwaydream]

yep! i agree w. all the ladies here. john tesh said only a jerk would approach a girl w.o her giving him any incentive.

 

[BroadstreetBully]

yep! i agree w. all the ladies here. john tesh said only a jerk would approach a girl w.o her giving him any incentive.

Wow, that's something to think about! I just wish giving incentive was easier

 

[BK Bombshell]

If you're uncomfortable looking into his eyes at first, stare at the spot on his forehead slightly above his eyes. If he's at a distance, he probably won't know. If you tilt your head down slightly, it'll also help with that "staring through your lashes" thing. That should give him incentive.

 

[BroadstreetBully]

If you're uncomfortable looking into his eyes at first, stare at the spot on his forehead slightly above his eyes. If he's at a distance, he probably won't know. If you tilt your head down slightly, it'll also help with that "staring through your lashes" thing. That should give him incentive.

Wow thanks for these pointers!

Thank all of you ladies for your advice! Hopefully I won't lose my interest in him before I can use these techniques. That's what generally happens.erplexed

 

[BroadstreetBully]

Well...

I've had quite a few opportunites to give him the greenlight, and yet I failed each time because of my shyness. I didn't realize how shy I was until now.

In fact, today I had the perfect opportunity to talk to him without seeming obvious, but did I take that opportunity...no.

I think I am looking too much into this. I wasn't very interested in him at first, but I figured since he seemed to be interested in me I should give it a shot. But now, I might have a thing for him. I see more and more of his personality, and I like it.

But I don't think he'll ever approach me, so should I just give up?

Lately he's been talkative and participating in lecture discussions, today he made a joke, I laughed and he turned around and smiled at me. But it's as if I don't want to have to do any of the work. I've been let down so many times.

I sound like I'm a highschooler...it really isn't THAT serious, but this situation has made me realize how insecure I am. I don't want this insecurity to affect how I interact with guys in the future. This isn't the first time this has happened.

If it turned out that he wasn't interested in me, honestly I'd be over it very quickly, but I hate being in limbo.

How does one get over being insecure?

 

[princessnad]

Aww, just go ahead and give him 'the smile.' Hopefully he will do the rest and if he doesn't then he is missing out. But don't leave out the possibility of a little innocent, class-related convo (like someone else suggested).

 

[frizzy]

Well...

I've had quite a few opportunites to give him the greenlight, and yet I failed each time because of my shyness. I didn't realize how shy I was until now.

In fact, today I had the perfect opportunity to talk to him without seeming obvious, but did I take that opportunity...no.

I think I am looking too much into this. I wasn't very interested in him at first, but I figured since he seemed to be interested in me I should give it a shot. But now, I might have a thing for him. I see more and more of his personality, and I like it.

But I don't think he'll ever approach me, so should I just give up?

Lately he's been talkative and participating in lecture discussions, today he made a joke, I laughed and he turned around and smiled at me. But it's as if I don't want to have to do any of the work. I've been let down so many times.

I sound like I'm a highschooler...it really isn't THAT serious, but this situation has made me realize how insecure I am. I don't want this insecurity to affect how I interact with guys in the future. This isn't the first time this has happened.

If it turned out that he wasn't interested in me, honestly I'd be over it very quickly, but I hate being in limbo.

How does one get over being insecure?

How about approaching him like he was a...say....classmate?
You are getting too vested emotionally and one sided-ly, to not even have had a conversation with him. Can you say "Hello" to him first? You have NOTHING to lose at this point.

If you can't be cordial and say hello to him, then I don't wanna talk to you anymore either j/k

Sure he may not be interested in you, and more importantly, after a few conversations you may not be interested in him. But what's wrong with making a new friend on campus?

 

[BroadstreetBully]

How about approaching him like he was a...say....classmate?
You are getting too vested emotionally and one sided-ly, to not even have had a conversation with him. Can you say "Hello" to him first? You have NOTHING to lose at this point.

If you can't be cordial and say hello to him, then I don't wanna talk to you anymore either j/k

Sure he may not be interested in you, and more importantly, after a few conversations you may not be interested in him. But what's wrong with making a new friend on campus?

Lol, I really didn't want to come off like that...perhaps it's the pre
menstrual hormones! But I agree that I should at least talk to him. I'm just not used to not making the first move. Normally if I liked a guy, I would just approach him. But not being "in-control" kills me! And has made me realize how insecure I am. People have always called me out on this.

So I'll at least say hi...heck I have nothing to lose, like you said. I just need to get over this emotional slump and recover from the "lonely-bug" that has been plauging me lately.

Thanks for your wise words.

 

[BroadstreetBully]

Well, we are talking now! At least on Myspace. He has offered to help me with classwork as well, though I prob won't take the bait. He's a cool guy, and I can see a friendship coming out of this. Since my PMS is wearing off, not sure if I'm as enamored as I was before. HORMONES!