Val, don't make me put you across my knee...
I think you need a distraction from your hair. You seem to be at an awkward stage where you are at a loss on what to do with your hair so you're either thinking of getting a cut or going natural and next you'll want a Mr T do. There, there.
I think what you should do is get your hair cornrowed and wig it (different styles that you can have fun with), get a weave, or get braids. A do that helps you stop thinking too much about your hair or having to wonder what to do with it, will not only give it and you the break you may both need, but the low manipulation might do it some good and surprise you down the road.
Perhaps spend sometime looking at albums of ladies who are relaxed and enjoying their hair and find out from them what their journeys were like. You may find you're not alone. Give your hair a chance as it is. Then if you still feel like going natural when it's still longer, then do so. But don't just go natural because of a moment's tantrum. Go back to the whys you relaxed in the first place. Maybe that will stop you from doing something drastic and keep you focused on your goal, which I'm guessing is long hair.