Od comment from a pregnant friend - wants a boy over hair issues?

[naturalmanenyc]

Odd comment from a pregnant friend - wants a boy over hair issues?

One of my good friends called to tell me that she & her hubby are expecting

What I found odd is that when I suggested that she might have a girl (they have a boy already) she said that she does not want a girl because, her words "I don't want to deal with hair drama with a little girl."erplexed

I found that to be such an odd statement, especially given that she is natural and at BSL (3c texture). She had previously relaxed only once or twice per year when she was relaxed & she typically wears her curly hair.

Thoughts?

 

[almondjoi85]

Ha! I have heard that before. Maybe she means the drama of having to deal with her daughter maybe wanting a relaxer or something like that?

 

[melissa-bee]

That's not a good mentality, you're suppose to love your own child no matter what. There are worse things that could happen, and she's worried about hair. What about health?

 

[locabouthair]

Maybe she just didnt want to deal with styling the hair. You should ahev asked her what she meant.

 

[chebaby]

i've statements like that before. i never understood it even before i found this bored. but maybe she went through a lot with her hair and dont want her daughter to go through the same thing she went through.

 

[v2.0]

That's not that odd at all. Regardless of texture, a boy's hair requires less maintenance than a girl's hair.

 

[MissMeWithThatIsh]

When you have a boy, you can cut his hair and KIM.
When you have a girl, people want to know the girl's hair grade, and want to tell you how it should be worn and styled. It has nothing to do with "texture fears" and possibly the fact that more work is involved in doing your daughter's hair as opposed to your son's.

 

[that_1_grrrl]

I don't think what she said is bad. Even if she takes good care of her child's hair, there may still be drama from others.

 

[Addy3010]

Well i dont know the context of your convo with her but i have heard this before, but it had nothing to do with hair really. What most ppl that i heard say it mean: they dont want to deal with "Teenage girl" issues and any other views of girls. Society has such a negative view of women and its all one sided... such as promiscurity and pregnant teens/single moms.....Anyway thats they way most have meant it when ive heard it...Still kinda makes no sense....You should asked: What if your mama wouldve said that about you? (Make her think about what she was saying) LOL

 

[GreenD]

I've made the same statement before and my reason for saying it is because I have enough on my plate in just dealing with my own hair!! If and when we're ever ready or are blessed to have children, I'd of course love the child regardless of it's a boy or girl. This statement (at least for me) is said in a jokingly fashion as everyone thinks I'll have a little girl anyway, but I'd just be happy to have a healthy "mini me and my hubby". I have nieces and have spent literally the entire day doing only one head. Yes, one of my nieces has that much hair!! So because I have so many nieces and only one nephew, I'd love to have a little boy. Just brushing his hair and/or having the hubby cut/shape up his hair would just be a change of pace for me. I'd also really like a boy because if we don't there will be no more males carrying my hubby's last name.

 

[ceebee3]

I said that before my two sons were born. I knew absolutely nothing about hair care.

I wouldn't want my daughter walking around looking crazy. I never knew how to style my own hair until this year so I would have hated to depend on someone else to do my daughters hair.

It had nothing to do with texture. Wouldn't you know karma is crazy, my oldest wants long hair and is in love with my herbal essences leave in and uses way too much of my shampoo.

 

[chrisanddonniesmommy]

I have two little boys. Not only is hair maintenance easier, it's inexpensive. My husband cuts our eldest son's hair (he's 11) and will do so with our toddler son. I don't have to worry about relaxers, etc.

However, we would like a third child. So, maybe I should hush up!!

 

[GodsPromises]

I see nothing wrong with that statement. I said the same thing because I didn't know how to braid or do hair and was afraid of what I would do with a little girls hair. A boy concerning hair is so much easier and now it's even easier as I just give him the money and he goes after school and get's it cut. No fuss or worries.

 

[GreenD]

I have two little boys. Not only is hair maintenance easier, it's inexpensive. My husband cuts our eldest son's hair (he's 11) and will do so with our toddler son. I don't have to worry about relaxers, etc.

However, we would like a third child. So, maybe I should hush up!!

Girl I was thinking the same thing!! And you also save a boat load of time!!!

 

[MrsHdrLe]

I also wanted a boy and mainly thought that it would be cheaper and easier to make him "look right". I know I put my mother "through it" as a little girl, barrettes, the night before picture night, Church....basically any event where I had to look decent was an ordeal getting me ready (from dresses, to shoes, to do-hickeys for the hair....)
Yeah, I would have loved my daughter if I'd had one, but like DivaDava said, my own issues are quite enough thank you.

 

[SND411]

I personally think that is an odd statement. Life/hair care does not need to be that complicated. You only make it more complicated yourself.

 

[GreenD]

Well i dont know the context of your convo with her but i have heard this before, but it had nothing to do with hair really. What most ppl that i heard say it mean: they dont want to deal with "Teenage girl" issues and any other views of girls. Society has such a negative view of women and its all one sided... such as promiscurity and pregnant teens/single moms.....Anyway thats they way most have meant it when ive heard it...Still kinda makes no sense....You should asked: What if your mama wouldve said that about you? (Make her think about what she was saying) LOL

OT: I just wanted to say that your hair is too cute for words. I love it!!

 

[Addy3010]

I personally think that is an odd statement. Life/hair care does not need to be that complicated. You only make it more complicated yourself.

Totally agree...

People have there own reasons for saying things. Sometimes i think people say things just to say them....Whatever her reason, im sure she'll be happy with her child.

 

[naturalmanenyc]

I'm planning to press her more about what she meant when we speak again. She was not all that happy about being pregnant again so soon, so I did not press her about it.

DH has locks and ss had braids for years so I guess I do not see a boys hair as all that different than a girls hair.

 

[PerplexingComplex]

I don't think the statement is odd. It's along the same lines as some females saying they want a girl, so they will be able to do different styles with her hair.

 

[Chaosbutterfly]

I actually don't blame her. I think that if she had a daughter she would love her just as much as she would love a boy, but that little girl hair drama is no joke. Especially for black people. To be "presentable", DD's hair has to be moisturized, neatly twisted/braided up, and you must include the appropriate bobbles, beads, clips, dangly bits...just all this stuff. And I feel like little girls for some reason, especially when they're natural, have way too much hair on their heads. When I'm at home, I usually do my cousins' hair, and I'm there all day, even though there are only two of them.

My mother has four girls and one boy, and when my brother came along, I know she was singing glory hallelujah, because she was too through. She gives him his 5 dollars every three weeks, he goes to the barber, and that's the end of that.

But that said, when he was a little boy and she was still cutting his hair, it was uh uh.
The way he used to scream...once the neighbors actually called the police.
So it's not like having a boy was without it's own particular drama.

 

[beans4reezy]

I completely understand where your friend was coming from. Three years ago, when I was pregnant, I was praying that I was having a boy. Not that I wouldn't love a boy or girl, but I just didn't want her to have the kind of hair I thought I had (short, dry, hard to retain length). I really had issues with this. I eventually had a beautiful boy, but should I conceive again, I know that I have been empowered to raise a little girl with a healthy head of hair. This wont be an issue for me.

 

[shenitab]

I can understand it. I have two girls and one boy. If I had another child I would hope for another boy. It takes WORK to keep three heads looking nice and my girls are young. I think it may get even MORE involved as they get older. It seems like it is always time for somebody's hair to get done. Right now I try to alternate doing their hair. I used to do them both on the same day . It may be easy for some people but both of my girls have thick hair. My son is so loooooooow maintenance. His dad cuts his hair and I wash and condition every now and then mostly when he asks me. I do ask him if he wants me to do it sometimes when I think he feels "left out" of the hair thing.
If I added up all the time I spend doing on of my girl's heads compared to my son's - oowee, that would be a huge difference.

 

[chrisanddonniesmommy]

Girl I was thinking the same thing!! And you also save a boat load of time!!!

It's so much easier and there's no shame in saying so. Yet, my ovaries crave a little girl lachen

 

[Traycee]

I didnt want girls either...My Sister had two girls and it would take forever for her to do her hair and the girls...I was lucky to have only boys...Thats what I wanted....

Everyone has a haircut..I can spend that extra time on myself...I don't have the patience to do a little girls hair every night and evening....

Nothing strange about that at all

 

[GreenD]

I actually don't blame her. I think that if she had a daughter she would love her just as much as she would love a boy, but that little girl hair drama is no joke. Especially for black people. To be "presentable", DD's hair has to be moisturized, neatly twisted/braided up, and you must include the appropriate bobbles, beads, clips, dangly bits...just all this stuff. And I feel like little girls for some reason, especially when they're natural, have way too much hair on their heads. When I'm at home, I usually do my cousins' hair, and I'm there all day, even though there are only two of them.

My mother has four girls and one boy, and when my brother came along, I know she was singing glory hallelujah, because she was too through. She gives him his 5 dollars every three weeks, he goes to the barber, and that's the end of that.

But that said, when he was a little boy and she was still cutting his hair, it was uh uh.
The way he used to scream...once the neighbors actually called the police.
So it's not like having a boy was without it's own particular drama.

What was he screaming about?! I'm sorry that's just so funny.

 

[Chaosbutterfly]

What was he screaming about?! I'm sorry that's just so funny.

I think he just didn't want my mom to cut his hair, because she tried really hard, but she had no idea what the heck she was doing. She's really good with girl hair, but his haircuts always looked a HAM...all uneven and patchy.

I think he just screamed to deter her from cutting his hair, which was actually a good plan. After the neighbors called the cops, he started going to the barber.

 

[kblc06]

That's the only reason I want a little girl (eventually). If I had a son I'd grow his hair out anyway because I want somebody's head to play in

 

[FeelinIt]

Re: Odd comment from a pregnant friend - wants a boy over hair issues?

One of my good friends called to tell me that she & her hubby are expecting

What I found odd is that when I suggested that she might have a girl (they have a boy already) she said that she does not want a girl because, her words "I don't want to deal with hair drama with a little girl."erplexed

I found that to be such an odd statement, especially given that she is natural and at BSL (3c texture). She had previously relaxed only once or twice per year when she was relaxed & she typically wears her curly hair.

Thoughts?

That's not odd. I said the same thing and got my wish.(thank you jeebus). I did not want to have to comb hair, or deal with little girl accessories. All my son needs is a haircut every other week and we're done. If I had to do a child's hair and my hair on a daily basis, I would be too through!

 

[FeelinIt]

Well i dont know the context of your convo with her but i have heard this before, but it had nothing to do with hair really. What most ppl that i heard say it mean: they dont want to deal with "Teenage girl" issues and any other views of girls. Society has such a negative view of women and its all one sided... such as promiscurity and pregnant teens/single moms.....Anyway thats they way most have meant it when ive heard it...Still kinda makes no sense....You should asked: What if your mama wouldve said that about you? (Make her think about what she was saying) LOL

You hit it right on the nail. Hair was only part of the issue for me. I'm a female and if I had the opportunity to raise me, I wouldn't. Girls for me require more worry and females tend to butt heads. I worry about my child in general but I've always wanted a little stinky boy and I got him, low hair maintenance and all! LOL