Numb feelings

[bimbabe]

Have you guys ever just started to get numb towards an DH/SO. Like you really don't care whether he is in your life or out of it? Did this happen for a reason or was it just out of the blue?

Right now I am wondering if because of all the stress in my life I just need to be by myself and my SO just complicates things. Is this a common feeling or should I be using him for support?

 

[Bunny77]

I thought y'all had broken up? Did you get back together>

 

[darlingdiva]

Where is this coming from?

I know that there have been times that I've felt frustrated with my husband, but I've always been able to pinpoint the reason.

One of your questions was "Like you really don't care whether he is in your life or out of it?" To me, that signals a really big problem. Everyone who is a personal part of your life (friendships, romance, etc.) is someone that you should want there. If you don't feel that way, maybe you should sit down and really think about what has made you feel that way. Identifying the source of your feelings will really be helpful in deciding what you should do.

 

[bimbabe]

I thought y'all had broken up? Did you get back together>

We were split for about 2 weeks and then he wooed me back. Came down to visit me etc. Sorry for the confusion. I don't do update threads well.

But now I have school pressure and pressure of finding a job I find the relationship just doesn't excite me. I seem to be craving being alone. I am wondering if it is depression. My close girlfriend thinks it is time to let it go...and just do me. But I am a little scared I guess. So I am seeking advice from you guys.

 

[bimbabe]

Where is this coming from?

I know that there have been times that I've felt frustrated with my husband, but I've always been able to pinpoint the reason.

One of your questions was "Like you really don't care whether he is in your life or out of it?" To me, that signals a really big problem. Everyone who is a personal part of your life (friendships, romance, etc.) is someone that you should want there. If you don't feel that way, maybe you should sit down and really think about what has made you feel that way. Identifying the source of your feelings will really be helpful in deciding what you should do.

That is just it. I don't think there is any one particular point. Is it just the 7 year itch???

 

[Bunny77]

We were split for about 2 weeks and then he wooed me back. Came down to visit me etc. Sorry for the confusion. I don't do update threads well.

But now I have school pressure and pressure of finding a job I find the relationship just doesn't excite me. I seem to be craving being alone. I am wondering if it is depression. My close girlfriend thinks it is time to let it go...and just do me. But I am a little scared I guess. So I am seeking advice from you guys.

That's cool.

The reason I asked is because I'm wondering if the things that broke y'all up in the first place are the reasons why you're feeling numb. Like you said, it's been 6-7 years, right?

I guess the question is, why did you get back with him? I'm not asking in a nasty way, just asking for you to examine whether this is a good situation for you or not.

 

[daydreem2876]

It's a sign. When I had those feelings and that's when I knew it was time to part ways.

 

[bimbabe]

That's cool.

The reason I asked is because I'm wondering if the things that broke y'all up in the first place are the reasons why you're feeling numb. Like you said, it's been 6-7 years, right?

I guess the question is, why did you get back with him? I'm not asking in a nasty way, just asking for you to examine whether this is a good situation for you or not.

Yes it has been 6+ years.

And I got back with him because he is a good guy. A sweetheart when he tries and I love him...he is also pretty supportive of me. When he came back begging we had long intimate chats and our relationship was seemingly renewed. Then last month we started talking about concrete plans on my grad.

Sometimes however I think he takes me for granted and he has the relationship on auto drive. I want romance and passion and sometimes I think he is a little too emotionally stoic/stunted.

 

[Bunny77]

Yes it has been 6+ years.

And I got back with him because he is a good guy. A sweetheart when he tries and I love him...he is also pretty supportive of me. When he came back begging we had long intimate chats and our relationship was seemingly renewed. Then last month we started talking about concrete plans on my grad.

Sometimes however I think he takes me for granted and he has the relationship on auto drive. I want romance and passion and sometimes I think he is a little too emotionally stoic/stunted.

I'm sure he is a good guy.

I guess you have to ask yourself though whether it's best for you to be together. Have you all tried to work on your issues, but to no avail? And you can love someone, but that doesn't necessarily mean you're supposed to be together. Don't stay together only out of familiarity with the person... if the relationship is stagnant and neither of you are moving it forward (to wherever it's supposed to be moving too), that could be a problem.

Whatever you decide, good luck and I hope it works out!

 

[bimbabe]

Thank you so much.
I am going to pray about it.
I know it really may show that love is not enough to sustain a relationship. I also may just need to step out there and face singledom. I probably am just comfortable but being comfortable with mediorcrity is an illness unto itself.

 

[ThickHair]

My exhusband when I knew it was over. I had no feelings for him. I was hoping he would just leave one day and never come back, just be out. Finally I had to kick him out.

 

[msdeevee]

We were split for about 2 weeks and then he wooed me back. Came down to visit me etc. Sorry for the confusion. I don't do update threads well.

But now I have school pressure and pressure of finding a job I find the relationship just doesn't excite me. I seem to be craving being alone. I am wondering if it is depression. My close girlfriend thinks it is time to let it go...and just do me. But I am a little scared I guess. So I am seeking advice from you guys.

I do think that sometimes you just get used to being with a person and when you really think about it you are not so much in love with the person but you have become accustomed to the person . Basically the person has become a habit.

It does seem to me from the short bit you've said that you need to at least take a break from the relationship to find what you really need and want in your life right now. If you guys are really into each other this break does not have to be the end of the relationship.

 

[Ms Red]

You sound as if you already have one foot out of the 'door' of this relationship. Based only on what you've written, it may not be a bad thing. IMO, pray about it.

 

[bimbabe]

Thanks for the support and advice guys.

We both really don't feel like hashing it out.
I told him I think we need space and he says yes he senses that something is not right.

I think the me time will be good. I really need to work on myself.