Newbie: What to do next?

[AllTooWell]

Hi I am new and desperately need help! I am hair illiterate even though I've been reading the threads for a while.

I have 4c hair. I have used relaxers all my life and my hair never really got longer than a bit past my shoulder. Until October 2009 when I started wearing weaves. I took my weave out in April 2010 and it was bra strap length (it really grew well under the weave!) and then I relaxed my hair.

^my hair right out of the weave

the back

pressed

^relaxed

But then it started breaking and got super short like ear length... So I went back to weaves in August 2011. I am about to move to North Carolina and I won't have my trusted hair girl with me (she is actually pretty cheap compared to everyone else) and so I am thinking of not doing weaves anymore. I'm not sure what to do with my hair now. Should I

go natural and just get my hair pressed every few weeks
"heat train" my hair by myself?
relax my hair?
suck it up and keep doing weaves?
the Aveda SmoothInfusion Retuxturizing system? (the website says "Permanently straighten your hair with Aveda’s versatile hair retexturizing system that straightens, softens and smooths the hair with thermal processing. Organic ylang ylang will nourish the senses, while organic oils leave the hair soft, shiny and incredibly smooth. Ideal for guests with wavy to highly textured hair who want to smooth their hair texture or permanently straighten it.")
or some other option I haven't thought of?

I am starting an intense master's program so I won't have time to do anything time intensive (like growing it naturally and keeping it curly). I don't want to lose any length and I am pretty sure my hair is brastrap length again and I want it even longer.

Thank you for helping me! You guys are amazing!

 

[Urban]

What is your ultimate hair goal? Do YOU want natural/ relaxed/ texurized/ heat trained hair?

I've just started school too so I totally know what you mean about the not having time for hair. But I think there are less time consuming ways to maintain your hair, no matter what your goal is.

I have natural hair myself And have chosen to keep it in braids 2 1/2 - 3 months at a time while I'm at school. And that works for me.

 

[Ms_CoCo37]

First of all, welcome and congratulations on making it to BSL twice.

It sounds like you're really leaning towards transitioning to natural. If so, I would probably avoid the Aveda SmoothInfusion Retexturizing System because it sounds like nothing more than a well-worded relaxer to me.

As far as your method of protective styles, I agree with the previous poster about braiding your hair as an option. You can also experiment with wigs. I know there are a lot of successful posters on here that have been able to retain their way to WL in no time using wigs. JJamiah is just one of them.

You can also experiment with buns and other cute updos like divachyk who has done some of the prettiest buns you've ever seen.

If all else fails you can go back to your tried and true weaves. I'm sure there are others on this board that can refer you to their "weave" specialist.

You've definitely come to the right place to help you with your hair needs. I hope this helps a little.

HHJ!

 

[BostonMaria]

Welcome to the board!

I'm not sure what your ultimate goal is or whether you want to have natural hair. It looks like protective styling is the way to go because you are able to retain length while you have your hair protected, but can't seem to retain once you stop. I personally don't care for weaves or braids and I'm not sure if you want to go months without seeing your real hair. Have you tried bunning for long periods of time?

Maybe you should tell us what you're doing with your hair when its not in a weave. You might find the answer to your breakage there.

ETA: Not sure what the Aveda SmoothInfusion Retuxturizing system is about, but like someone else mentioned it sounds like a fancy sounding relaxer. Try doing a search on the forum or on Youtube and see if anyone did a review.

 

[AllTooWell]

Thank you so much for replying! I thought nobody would and that made me sad!

My ultimate hair goals? Well I like wearing my hair out and straight (Or I guess wavy like 3b/3a but I don't know if my hair could ever be like that) I don't really like the way hair looks in natural styles (it's too "poofy" for me...if that makes sense) and I don't really like braids. And I want my hair to be long. I don't know if that is possible?

I would prefer it to be natural because it seems cheaper but it just seems really time consuming and I wouldn't know what to do with it. I was worried the Aveda thing wouldn't work on 4c hair anyway... I haven't been able to find anything here or in videos. It seems pretty new.

But yeah I would love to hear about less time consuming and inexpensive ways to wear my hair straight (or wavy) and allow it to still grow.

I've never tried wigs before. That might be an option I haven't thought about.

When my hair wasn't in a weave I was pretty stupid. I just slept with a silk cap thing but I didn't wrap it (for the life of me whenever I wrapped my hair it always fell out while sleeping...I used bobby pins) and I used things like the pink lotion and olive oil sprays. I think it broke because people were relaxing it on top of what was already relaxed. I didn't wash it very often and I would try to flat iron my roots. I waited a really really long time between relaxers.

THANK you again for your replies! I need all the help I can get!

 

[havilland]

Honestly. I would invest in some time on learning how to do your hair yourself.

You tube. Is a great resource. Here of course on LHCF. And get a book. Science of black hair by Sivothsky (sp?)

Welcome!

 

[divachyk]

Welcome! I am relaxed and protective style often. My fav is bunning. I have photos in my LHCF blog that may give you some direction.

Buns are easy - you can throw a bun in on Sunday and rock it throughout the week. This will be low maintenance and help you as you go about your busy schedule.

When not bunning, I use croc clips (purchased from Sally's) and pin my hair up daily. Takes all of about 5 minutes which includes moisturizing & sealing. Hair can be as quick or complex as you make it.

If you're really worried about saving time, go with multi-day protective styles so you set it and forget it, so to speak. Make sure you have good hydration to keep your hair from becoming too dry and breaking.

Thank you @Ms_CoCo37 for the compliment.

 

[BostonMaria]

Thank you so much for replying! I thought nobody would and that made me sad!

I don't create threads for this same reason

My ultimate hair goals? Well I like wearing my hair out and straight.

I would prefer it to be natural because it seems cheaper but it just seems really time consuming and I wouldn't know what to do with it.

But yeah I would love to hear about less time consuming and inexpensive ways to wear my hair straight (or wavy) and allow it to still grow.

I rollerset my hair at least twice a month and wear it out straight. At night I put my hair in a bun (usually no elastic band and I hold my hair up with bobby pins). Rollersetting has helped me retain length and enjoy my hair. I do my own hair 99% of the time and rarely visit salons. If you go on Youtube you'll find some tutorials. I believe theres a rollersetting challenge somewhere in this forum you can join.

When my hair wasn't in a weave I was pretty stupid. I just slept with a silk cap thing but I didn't wrap it (for the life of me whenever I wrapped my hair it always fell out while sleeping...I used bobby pins) and I used things like the pink lotion and olive oil sprays. I think it broke because people were relaxing it on top of what was already relaxed. I didn't wash it very often and I would try to flat iron my roots. I waited a really really long time between relaxers.

OK the silk cap wasn't the issue, it was probably the pink lotion and olive oil spray. I think pink lotion has mineral oil in it, which really isn't good for hair. Some people can use it, but most people probably can't. If you're looking for moisture try using coconut oil, avocado oil, or extra virgin olive oil (the oil used for cooking, not the spray you find at the Beauty Supply Shop). You can find avocado and coconut oil at Whole Foods, Trader Joe's, GNC, the Vitamin Shoppe or online. I either do a hot oil treatment (zap in the microwave for 8 secs and apply all over, leave in my hair for 1 hour then rinse, style) or add one of these oils to your favorite deep conditioner and leave it in for about an hour.

When my hair was relaxed I wasn't able to retain length because I used to put stuff in it like Doo Grow (I should know better than to buy products that are spelled incorrectly LOL) and use too much heat. If you used pink lotion AND used too much heat then that might be the culprit right there.

Hope this helps!

 

[HairPleezeGrow]

Hello and welcome!

You can try buns as a good PS or wigs. Have you ever tried twist outs or something along those lines? You have a lot of hair to work with from your pics even being BSL you could play around with a bunch of updos but you have to find what works for you and what will last you the whole week so you are working off a weekly schedule. HHJ

 

[AllTooWell]

Thank you everyone for responding. Another problem I think I had last time was I tried to do a relaxer myself. Whoops!

could I wear my hair out/down better with natural hair, heat treated hair, relaxed hair or texlaxed hair?

 

[AllTooWell]

What takes the least amount of effort and time? But still allows the hair to grow?

 

[koolkittychick]

What exactly do you mean my least amount of time and effort? If your goal is to wear your hair out and straight and still retain length and grow it, I'm sorry my dear but it will require at least some amount of time and effort. I myself wear my hair relaxed, and I am one of the laziest persons you will meet when it comes to my hair, but these are the the things that I must do to keep my hair from breaking off:

1. Moisturize and seal every day or every other day. Use a moisturizer that is water-based with no mineral oil (no pink lotion!). I use this stuff because it's cheap, you can find it in most BSS, and it works! It absorbs quickly into my hair and softens even my new growth (I stretch for 3 months at a time) so that I can gently comb it out without any breakage. I follow it up with Shea Moisture's Raw Shea Butter Reconstuctive Elixir because I find that it is a light enough oil for me to seal with; it won't weigh my hair down and attract dirt, and leaves a nice shine and finish to it.
2. Get a good detangling comb! This is a cheap one, and it works. Part your hair in at least four sections (I use eight), apply you moisturizer and sealer to soften your hair, then work gently and patiently up from the ends up to the roots to detangle. Use your fingers for really tough knots, and DO NOT TRY TO RUSH! Relaxed or not, our hair is not like white hair, and we cannot just rake a comb through our tresses and run.
3. If you want to wear your hair out fine, but don't do it every day; protective style at least twice a week. Much more when you get late into a stretch. I PS 90% of the time, but that's because I'm lazy. I mostly bun, but I can also do pretty french braids, Dutch braids (in fact, I am wearing the prettiest crown braid I just learned to do myself) and all kinds of updos to switch it up, and most take no more than about 10 minutes time. The bonus is that if you wrap with a scarf at night, you can keep the style for 2 or three days (or more if you're feeling really lazy!)
4. Speaking of scarfs, get a good satin or silk one, and use it every night! If you prefer to wear your hair out straight, learn to cross wrap your hair rather than a traditional wrapping method -- it is easier for longer hair and better for your edges.
5. Stretch your relaxers for 12 weeks or more if you can. Not only do you save money, but you keep length because it gives your hair a chance to get strong and get enough new growth so that you don't overlap when you relax. I usually have about 1.5 inches after 12 weeks, and now that I have my moisture and seal game on point, it's not a problem any more.
6. Lastly, wash and deep condition your hair at least once a week or every other week. I CANNOT STRESS THE CONDITIONING PART ENOUGH! This will be the most time consuming part of this, but it is TOTALLY WORTH IT, and will make the difference between you enjoying long, healthy hair for life or suffering through repeated (and expensive!) cycles of growing your hair under weave only to break it off. People use lots of stuff for this, but me being lazy, this I have found is the best for my purposes: ORS Olive Oil Replenishing Pak I slap this on after I shampoo with a sulfate-free shampoo, put a conditioning cap on, leave for an hour (half an hour if I sit under the dryer) rinse and I am done! Here is a video that shows how I wash my hair (the white girl method you see in commercials breaks mine right off). I don't add all the products she does, but I use the low manipulation methods she uses, and it works for me.

If you are serious about maintaining relaxed hair (your best bet for keeping it straight, long and wearing it mostly out without frying it to death with heat), this is the bare minimum you must do to maintain it. If it's too much work for you, I don't know what to tell you my dear.


Good luck, and happy hair growing!

 

[AllTooWell]

Oh thank you! I was looking for something like this. So you think I should relax instead of texlax? I think I am going to try your methods! What's your hair type? I don't mind deep conditioning once a week

 

[koolkittychick]

Oh thank you! I was looking for something like this. So you think I should relax instead of texlax? I think I am going to try your methods! What's your hair type? I don't mind deep conditioning once a week

Really it's up to you. I relaxed bone straight with my stylist for a number of years, but I found it made things a little tricky when I stretched because of the difference in textures (my natural hair is 4a/b, mostly b), plus it came out so limp, flat and thin looking I usually had to wash it as soon as I got home just to give it a little life and body. When I started to relax myself about 6 months ago, I inadvertently became textlaxed, which I find is easier to stretch, and looks a lot fuller on my fine, lower density hair. The only problem with that is that I can't get as sleek a look as I like (especially on my edges) without resorting to heat--which I prefer not to use--or gel--which my scalp HATES. I am still trying to perfect my self-relax technique to get the texture I want (about 90% bone straight), but it may take a while since I am now relaxing only 4 times a year and am actually aiming for 3 times a year.

 

[Evolving78]

relaxed or natural, you need to learn how to take care of your hair and not rely on weaves.
learn how to do other protective styles where you can touch your own hair. buns are really good. i use spin pins, good day hair pins, hair sticks, and snag free plastic clips to put my hair up. you need to learn what your hair needs as far as moisture and protein. and lay off of heavy styling and heating tools. i would suggest a satin or silk scarf, unless your cap is truly satin and the elastic is covered in satin as well. wash and deep condition at least once a week. look into cowashing when your new growth comes in to see if that will help with softening your new growth.

check out the relaxed sticky thread! there is a lot of info organized and will help guide you to find the answers you are looking for.

but start with buns. i use goody spin pins. they are safe and gentle on your hair. they don't snag or cause breakage. moisturize and seal your hair and bun! try lighter moisturizers and natural oils. look up info on here for the LOC method for moisturizing and sealing suggestions.

here is how the spin pins work
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qngf8eXsrzQ

 

[HoneyA]

koolkittychick gave a good overview AllTooWell. Welcome!

You can shave time off your hair maintenance regimen but you need to know what you want to do with your hair first: natural or relaxed/texturised. At the very least, which ever style you chose to have, you still have to condition it, moisturise it and wear protective styles for it to thrive and retain length and/or for convenience in your case. That right there is my basic regimen now that I'm natural and that was my regimen when I had processed hair. I'm in buns and updos every day and I don't use any heat or extensions. I'm done styling in about 3 minutes. Nothing time-intensive about it.

Some do wear extensions as a protective style but I think that you should learn to take care of your hair without weaves first since the issue is retaining when you are not in weaves. Natural or relaxed hair care is as simple or as complicated as you make it. HHG!

 

[AllTooWell]

Thank you so much! You guys are all fabulous! I especially liked you guys sharing your regimens and ideas. I think I am actually going to go natural. I feel like this is my chance because I have so much new growth. I can always go relaxed later if it doesn't work out.

So tomorrow my hair girl is going to take out my weave and deep condition my hair and then blow it out and press it. From then on I'll keep it stretched and try to wear protective styles ( i do like the buns and updos and twistouts) and occasional heat hopefully grow my hair long. I hope it won't be too timing consuming. Any other trips are MUCH appreciated.

 

[sunnieb]

Hey there newbie! You've been given some great advice.

Good luck and so glad you found LHCF!

 

[AllTooWell]

Thank you everyone for your help. Right now it is natural (pressed). She cut the relaxed ends (it was about 2 inches) I'm not sure where I am going to go from here because i have A LOT OF HAIR. It's just a lot to deal with!

here are some pictures of my hair taken out of the braids and then combed out:

she brushed it out then washed it and put some conditioner on it and deep conditioned it under a dryer hood. then she blew it out some more and pressed it and then flat iron curled the ends

and then here it is pressed....

from the back it is like armpit length. I didn't get a picture of the back though d'oh!

 

[AllTooWell]

If any natural 4bs wanna give me hair styling suggestions or more about their regis I'd appreciate it! I am kind of running out of hair styles I can do in the morning before work (I work at 6 am I am NOT going to get up earlier to do my hair) Also my pressed hair is starting to get poofy and so I finally have to wash it! I'm getting scared! Haha!

I want my hair long!

 

[AllTooWell]

Update! I ended up relaxing it. I just couldn't deal with natural hair poofyness and I couldn't come up with ways to style it or it just took me too long. I am taking you guys advice for a regimen. I haven't washed it myself yet (my stylist did when she relaxed it with affirm lye relaxer). I'm planning on another relaxer in 12 weeks. And then after that maybe ill be brave enough to relax/texlax myself? Probably not...

 

[AllTooWell]

Update: so the relaxer only did my roots for some reason and not my ends. So now my hair is straight on top and natural on the bottom. It's basically impossible to deal with. I gave in and let my friend give me a free weave. It was not very good and pulled at my hair.

So now I'm like back to square one. Except now my hair is natural (roots) relaxed natural. It's crazy! I can't really real the ends because in worried the previously relaxed parts will break. Woe is me. This hair stuff is hard. And school is starting soon and I'll again be too busy to do a lot to/with it.

 

[Evolving78]

Update: so the relaxer only did my roots for some reason and not my ends. So now my hair is straight on top and natural on the bottom. It's basically impossible to deal with. I gave in and let my friend give me a free weave. It was not very good and pulled at my hair.

So now I'm like back to square one. Except now my hair is natural (roots) relaxed natural. It's crazy! I can't really real the ends because in worried the previously relaxed parts will break. Woe is me. This hair stuff is hard. And school is starting soon and I'll again be too busy to do a lot to/with it.

U need to go to a professional and get a corrective. The relaxer should have been applied down the length first and applied to the root last.

 

[AllTooWell]

Well the thing is I don't want to use relaxers anymore. The lady who did that relaxer was a professional and I'm new in this area now and don't know anyone to trust it with. So I am trying to transition I guess?

 

[mshoneyfly]

Well the thing is I don't want to use relaxers anymore. The lady who did that relaxer was a professional and I'm new in this area now and don't know anyone to trust it with. So I am trying to transition I guess?

AllTooWell
You should prob read through the transitioning w/o bc'ing thread and join if you're serious about it...you don't really sound sure though. Maybe look into a Keratin treatment to help you manage your natural hair and still wear it straight. I am a DIYer so I would do it myself but IDK about you. There r a lot of good threads on this board for keratin treatments too.

I am curious from reading your posts...how often do you wash and DC?? What r u using to M&S?? How often?? Do u have a regimen yet? How often do you do protein treatments?

If you can answer these questions, you are well on your way to keeping your hair long and healthy.

 

[AllTooWell]

Thanks for your reply. I co-wash every other day. And wash/dc once a month. I moisturizer and seal daily. I think I am going to transition! I'll check that thread out.

 

[jerseygurl]

Thanks for your reply. I co-wash every other day. And wash/dc once a month. I moisturizer and seal daily. I think I am going to transition! I'll check that thread out.

You need to get a good regimen going with good products before deciding to transition, cos it's not going to be easy. There are good styling threads for you to check out.

You need to do more deep conditioning sessions ; at least once a week rather than once a month. YouTube is your friend also with style issues. Learn how to do braidouts and twistouts to blend the textures. Bunning is also good however you need a satin or silk scarf to lay down your hair.

That's all I have for now. Good luck.

 

[AllTooWell]

Thank you! That is very helpful!

 

[AllTooWell]

Gosh you guys I still don't know what to do about my hair! I just can't decide. Right now it's in between relaxed and natural. Or maybe texlax? I couldn't do the product myself because I am really a hair newbie/afraid to burn myself and I can't stand to watch youtube videos (too much talking... they're way too long). I want my hair long and I like straighter styles (don't like afros). My face is one that looks better with some hair behind it or on it (like side bangs). I already ruled out full sew-ins/weaves because they are super expensive and I don't know how to take them down myself...

Pros for Relaxed hair:
-it's easier to style for me (flexirods, down and straight, ponytails, buns)
-updos
-easier to manage

Cons for Relaxed hair:
-expensive
-rain
-working out
-swimming
-makes hair weaker so maybe it won't maintain growth as much?

Pros for Natural hair:
-cheaper
-stronger hair so it'll maintain growth longer?

Cons for Natural hair:
-can't wear my hair down
-I don't like poofy styles or small twists and braids
-I don't know how to braid besides a french
-gets tangled easily
-more time consuming (for me)

I guess I could be natural and get my hair blown out/pressed frequently? That sounds expensive too but I bet I could learn to do it myself. Or I don't know. I've been struggling with this decision and what to do for so long!

Again I have 4b hair and now it's beyond shoulder length... it's been cutting I think. I actually haven't straightened it in a while so I'm not sure. That could just be shrinkage

 

[mshoneyfly]

Gosh you guys I still don't know what to do about my hair! I just can't decide. Right now it's in between relaxed and natural. Or maybe texlax? I couldn't do the product myself because I am really a hair newbie/afraid to burn myself and I can't stand to watch youtube videos (too much talking... they're way too long). I want my hair long and I like straighter styles (don't like afros). My face is one that looks better with some hair behind it or on it (like side bangs). I already ruled out full sew-ins/weaves because they are super expensive and I don't know how to take them down myself...

Pros for Relaxed hair:
-it's easier to style for me (flexirods, down and straight, ponytails, buns)
-updos
-easier to manage

Cons for Relaxed hair:
-expensive
-rain
-working out
-swimming
-makes hair weaker so maybe it won't maintain growth as much?

Pros for Natural hair:
-cheaper
-stronger hair so it'll maintain growth longer?

Cons for Natural hair:
-can't wear my hair down
-I don't like poofy styles or small twists and braids
-I don't know how to braid besides a french
-gets tangled easily
-more time consuming (for me)

I guess I could be natural and get my hair blown out/pressed frequently? That sounds expensive too but I bet I could learn to do it myself. Or I don't know. I've been struggling with this decision and what to do for so long!

Again I have 4b hair and now it's beyond shoulder length... it's been cutting I think. I actually haven't straightened it in a while so I'm not sure. That could just be shrinkage

Girl you gotta invest time and energy if you want beautiful hair! Or you gotta invest $$! Its one or the other, take your pick. If you find a vid that talks too much, just fast forward. When you do a search on YT, include the word 'tutorial'. There's nothing like seeing a demonstration on something you want to learn.

Based on your posts, I would suggest the Organix Brazilian Keratin Treatment. Do they still sell that?? There are YT vids on using that too.

You can get it on the ground at any drug store. It will temp relax the curl so you can wear it straight but its not a relaxer. Just follow the directions. Do you know how to flat iron and blow dry??

Im sure you could press your own hair. Just dc really well first and use an oil to protect and add sheen. Work in small sections and use a satin scarf and/or bonnet to sleep.

You CAN do it!!