Have you tried the denman brush? It has made a great difference to me.
I'm sure you know the deal but just in case: small sections, start at the bottom and work your way up. When you get to your ng stretch it out before you get your brush/comb in there so you won't have to detangle your relaxed hair over again.
Try using conditioners with good slip and fingercombing in the shower? Water pressure is a nice way to get rid of shed hair, which used to cause tangles for me. Sometimes I just fingercomb for days and it won't matter, as long as I remove shed hairs.
How wet my hair is also makes a difference to me. If it's soaking it'll snap, if it's completely dry it's too brittle. I have to find that in between stage and detangle right then.
HTH, I haven't had issues with tangles since I was 4 months post (okay maybe a little longer because
I didn't want to give up shampooing my hair in the sink ). You just have to learn how to deal with it and find out what works for you and you'll be on automatic pilot from then on.