Need Help BAD for my daughter

[pbuckley]

Hello all I am new here and I have a problem. My daughter is 6 yrs old she has been getting a perm since she was 3 1/2 (long story that involves a family memeber) at any rate it started off good I was putting in a just for me and bringing her to the salon to trim her ends. Well I got Barry Fletchers book and found out that NO-LYE perms weren't good for the hair. So I switched to Motions Kid with Lye. The transition seemed to be going well her hair is long and thick it is to the middle of her back. Over the summer I started noticing that she was losing hair on the sides and started bringing her into the salon to get her perms because I feared I was over processing. She was getting perms every 6-8 weeks. I have had no luck and she has lost even more hair. I have decided that I don't want to perm her hair any longer. and it has now been approxitamely 10 weeks since she has gotten a relaxer. Her new growth is thick and hard to comb through and it is a lot. I have gotten her own hair braided and that has helped with not having to comb through because when I do she has a lot of shedding. I plain to cut here hair as the new growth comes in so that I don't have to cut it all off to get the perm out. Does it sound like I am on the right track now and what can I do to insure I don't make matters worse. PLEASE HELP!

 

[miss_brown]

The key to little kids and any type of hair (but especially natural hair) is CREAM OF NATURE shampoo. When I was little (I didn't get a perm unitl I was in the 9th grade), my mom would start out with a hot oil treatment, wash with cream of nature, deep condition (use a moisturizing conditioner) with a little heat (you could use a wet towel warmed in the microwave for 45 seconds if she's too little to sit under the dryer), moisturize with a light oil, braid and airdry.

Good luck and have faith because my hair is thick and my mom worked this joint using this technique. HTH

 

[shelli4018]

Sounds like you're handling it pretty well. But I can't really say. I'm in the same boat as you are! I'm raising my 10 year old cousin who had the prettiest coily hair as a baby/toddler. But her dad let one of his girlfriends relax it when she was 5. Since then it's been a fight between me and the breakage. Her edges are thinning and her ends are frayed. I stopped touching her hair up months ago and now she's in braids. I don't want to hack her hair off because she's at the age where she's aware of her looks. So I'm just gradually cutting it.

Have you checked out nappturality.com? They have a thread specifically about childrens hair.

 

[pebbles]

Hi pbuckley,

Welcome!

First of all, let me say that you're doing the right thing by stopping the relaxers on your daughter's hair. She's only 6 and has been having her hair relaxed for 3 years. For adults relaxing can be traumatic, so I can only imagine how the two of you must feel seeing her hair breaking and falling out.

You can definitely help her to transition back to her natural hair by braiding it and having the relaxed part trimmed off gradually. That's a great idea.

In the meantime, do some research on caring for natural hair. I think that learning how to care for her hair in it's natural state will help the both of you greatly, particularly your daughter. Even though her hair is braided, be sure to moisturize daily, condition it regularly and get her braids touched up as much as possible if she has extensions. Pay very close attention to the edges of her hair during this time. Be sure the braids in that area are not causing more damage.

When you are attempting to comb her natural hair, try using the S-curl activator. It's an excellent moisturizer. There are also some good concoctions on the Hair Recipe Board that can help with softening and moisturizing her hair. And be sure only to use a wide tooth comb. Her hair should bounce back in no time.

 

[pbuckley]

Thank you all for your help! Yes it has been very painful to see her hair in this condition. I will definetly use the advice given. Since her hair is so long I haven't had to use extensions so that has been great. I find that her hair is coming in slowly but at least it is coming back in. I will defiently get the S-Curl never thought about that. What do you suggest I put on her braids to moisturize. I was using Infusion 23 leave in conditioner but when I use that it softens her hair and her braids only last one week. I don't know how to braid so this has been costly. And advice? And Yes I have been using the creme of nature thanks to you guys and it has helped tremendously along with the lekair cholestrol!

 

[pbuckley]

Good luck to you shelli4018, I understand your pain. I will definetly check out nappturality.com thanks for the suggestion

 

[pebbles]

Pbuckley,

You'll find that the s-curl is an excellent moisturizer. You really won't need to add anything else to hair if you use the s-curl. You can keep using the Infusium 23 leave in if you like. I would wash her hair once a week. She's 6, so playing outside, rolling around on the floor and doing all the other things a child her age would enjoy, her hair will definitely need to be washed weekly. If that's impossible, perhaps you can try spraying her braids with distilled water once a week. Do you have her hair braided at a salon?

 

[soontobenatural]

Which Creme of Nature shampoo do you ladies use? I have tried the one in the green/yellow bottle, but did not like it very much.

 

[shelli4018]

Loreal Vive frizz serum, Aubrey Organics GPB conditioner, and Hennalucent (neutral) have softened my hair a great deal. I've tried the frizz serum and Olive oil on my cousins hair with good results. The curl activator was ok. I may try the hennalucent on her hair this weekend.

 

[Ginn1]

Itruly understand what you are feeling my oldest daughter experienced the same shedding and loss after relaxing a few years ago. I have 3 girls the oldest 2 are relaxed the youngest is natural. Since finding this board their hair has flourished. Here is what I do with the relaxed girls. (1)hot oil treatment with warm olive oil 15 mins. (2) conditioner wash with TRESemme Vitamin E moisture Rich conditioner 2x weekly (3)condition with Keracare Humecto conditioner for 20 mins. (4) spray with distilled water followed by S-curl activator and gently comb out. I spary thier hair nightly with the distilled water and S-curl before tying it down ith satin scarves. In the morning I take a soft baby brush and smooth the front back and put them in a bun. 1x each week I skip the hot oil treatment and wash with the Cream of Nature shampoo for dry hair then I just follow steps 3&4 and style. There hair is always so soft and easy to comb the breakage has completely stopped and their hair has grown a lot and it's thicker too. On my oldest daughter(4a) sometimes I put coconut oil on her roots and they staighten out completly, but this does not work for the younger one (3a 3b). For my youngest(3b 4a) I am follow the advice of other on this board an using milk to help loosen her curls it really works (1) spray hair with milk leave on for 45 mins.(2) conditioner wash with same TRESemme conditioner (3) Condition with Humecto 10 mins. (4) spraqy with distilled water and S-curl followed with coconut oil. I do this every other day on her hair her hair has gone from being very kinky and hard to comb to being curly ,soft and the comb just glides through her hair and it has grown so much . Please try to follow the advice given on this board It has made my children so happy to have all this long swinging hair and the washing/combing experience is such a joy for them. Ginny

 

[pbuckley]

I haven't had her hair braided at a salon, I have a neighbor that has gone to beauty school but she didn't get to finish. Her daughter also had a perm that took out her hair and she chopped it all off and has started all over. She braids her daughter hair while it is growing back. I do wash her hair once a week while her hair is not in the braids. So you are suggesting that I wash it as well with the braids in? I am really looking for some sort of regimen.

 

[shelli4018]

That's a really helpful post. I think I'll try your regimen.

Are you trying to grow the relaxer out or just make it healthier?

 

[pbuckley]

I think your post is really helpful as well, which regimen do you use for your daughters with the natural?

 

[pebbles]

[ QUOTE ]
I haven't had her hair braided at a salon, I have a neighbor that has gone to beauty school but she didn't get to finish. Her daughter also had a perm that took out her hair and she chopped it all off and has started all over. She braids her daughter hair while it is growing back. I do wash her hair once a week while her hair is not in the braids. So you are suggesting that I wash it as well with the braids in? I am really looking for some sort of regimen.

[/ QUOTE ]

If you're washing her hair once a week already, that's great. Now that the summer time is quickly approaching and she may be outside more, her hair may become dirtier more than usual. If that happens and you don't have the time to wash her hair more than once a week, you can spray her hair with distilled water to remove any dirt in between washes. When you wash, I think it's best to do so with her hair unbraided, just as you do now.

 

[Paris Belle]

When I was a little kid, my hair was/is thick and coarse..My mom also used the CON and did hot oil treatments and deep conditions..Henna may also soften the hair, my mom used that from time to time..

You are definitely on the right track..A perm is not good for a child's hair..Cornrows or single braids are the only way to go, girl! Make sure to moisturize her hair very well and use a wide tooth comb to detangle. Perhaps you should purchase a detangling product/spray as well. Pantene's conditioning spray is good.

 

[azul11]

aww this is such good advice you guys are giving. i must admit even though this is geared towards the children i did take some notes to see if i can work on my own regime. its great that these kids have knowledgable people taking care of their hair. God bless you all.