Naturals why do you choose NOT to relax?

N

NapturalGlory

New Member
I'll start:

reasons I don't use chemical relaxers:
<ul type="square">
[*]they burn sores in my scalp causing blood and pus to crust over which could lead to bald spots or thinning
[*]they break down the hair chemically which is why people think it is a way to soften the hair. oversoftening is actually DISSOLVING the structure of the hair!!!
[*]they smell real bad usually
[*]they are applied by people who often don't care about the dangers
[*]they are expensive when applied professionally. a pain when applied at home.
[*]they cause breakage over time in many hair types
[*]they cater to vulnerable elements of human nature with visuals of ladies that are often hard to duplicate
[*]my naturally maintained hair is always stronger, thicker, less prone to breakage.
[*]natural hair has a unique plush texture that is exciting to discover after relaxing for decades[/list]

smile.gif
 
My main two reasons are because I love my natural hair texture and i love all the compliments I get now. It's a lot less "you need a perm!!" comments and a lot more "i wish my hair was like yours!" Oh yea and I don't really have to worry about all the things you said above. ugh especially those scabs on the scalp! i hated those.
 
Couldn't stand the smell, the burn, the dryness, the breakage, the lifelessness, the vast amount of time to upkeep, not to mention the money and time spent at the salon. Plus I love my natural texture. I see a lot of weaves like my hair and I know they don't come cheap.
 
1. I felt like I wasn't being true to myself
2. I didn't know how to take care of a relaxer so why have one
3. I wanted to see my true texture

I did it mostly for my little girl. She was born with a head full of hair. You couldn't see this child's scalp it was crazy how much hair she had. She has the most beautiful curls. I wanted her to see the beauty in her hair, and I wanted to share that with her. She is turning 3 in Sept and I will be 3yrs relaxer free in Sept.
 
Some of my reasons:

* Relaxers are expensive (salon visits)
* For ME, too many cons versus pros with relaxers
* I like the versatility of natural hair (can be worn straight or curly)
* I like my hair just the way it is!
 
I hated being like a crackhead thinking ooh I need a touch up. Then spending all of that time and money getting it done. My natural hair is so much stronger which was evident when I tried to apply a dye myself and it did not take. I got it applied professionally and it still barely shows. My hair was not damaged at all. I love the versatility of wearing it in an afro, twists, braidouts, straight, curly or whatever.

I also love the compliments. I went to visit my mother in law last week and we visited one of her coworkers. The first thing she (the coworker) said to me was wow, I see where those girls get all of that hair. I was wearing a braidout and told her I was natural going on 3 years. She was like really!!, then she touched my hair and was like ooh it is so soft and thick, can you give me some, I know you won't miss it!!! My mother in law called me Monday night and told me that her coworker was up at the job bragging about how pretty, thick, and soft my hair was. I also get a lot of compliments while I am out and about. It is kind of strange being in NM and there is so little of us. But these people go crazy over my hair!!!

Queneesha
 
[ QUOTE ]
NapturalGlory said:
I'll start:

reasons I don't use chemical relaxers:
<ul type="square">
[*]they burn sores in my scalp causing blood and pus to crust over which could lead to bald spots or thinning
[*]they break down the hair chemically which is why people think it is a way to soften the hair. oversoftening is actually DISSOLVING the structure of the hair!!!
[*]they smell real bad usually
[*]they are applied by people who often don't care about the dangers
[*]they are expensive when applied professionally. a pain when applied at home.
[*]they cause breakage over time in many hair types
[*]they cater to vulnerable elements of human nature with visuals of ladies that are often hard to duplicate
[*]my naturally maintained hair is always stronger, thicker, less prone to breakage.
[*]natural hair has a unique plush texture that is exciting to discover after relaxing for decades[/list]

smile.gif


[/ QUOTE ]


yeah, pretty much everything u said
 
1. It's permanent. If I decide I want my natural curls back, I have to cut the relaxed hair off.

2. My hair did not grow with relaxers. Retaining length wasn't the issue. I thought it was great when 8 weeks would pass and my mom said I didn't need a relaxer and that it looked fresh. The reason why she said that was because I had very very little new growth. I think relaxers actually stunted my growth.


3. My natural hair thrives without chemicals. It's healthier, has more moisture rentention , and doesn't break as much.

Sometimes, the thought passes through my mind to get a relaxer again for manageability but the risks of relaxing my hair are far greater than the pros at this point.

-Ebony
 
considering this board is 43% natural (including the 13% transitioning) and 56% relaxed, there should be more natural monthly features like for example, maestradiva77. and more natural mods as well. i think it's good for us to be together in one forum so we can stay in touch with the "other side" so to speak. since most black people start off relaxing by default, seeing naturals online may be the only chance they have to learn about being natural. i know the only reason i am natural today is because of some folks online. in my real life 100% natural inspirations are lacking. there are just so few of us! i don't want to feel like i have to be disconnected with relaxed women since i was relaxed almost all of my life.

these are great replies ladies!
 
one wrong turn could be the end of your hair, i.e. overprocessing, underprocessing, scalp damage, breakage. I had to finally admit this to myself. I love straight hair, but it just isn't worth the risk to me, not anymore.
 
[ QUOTE ]
AllAboutTheHair said:
one wrong turn could be the end of your hair, i.e. overprocessing, underprocessing, scalp damage, breakage. I had to finally admit this to myself. I love straight hair, but it just isn't worth the risk to me, not anymore.

[/ QUOTE ]

Great point about the one wrong turn thing.

-Ebony
 
I totally agree. Out of all of my friends, 2 of them are natural also. But when I decided, I was the only one. I had just gotten to NM and this weather was hard on my hair, plus I was depressed, stressed and looking for a change. I still get to talk hair with my relaxed sisters because many of them have little girls that are natural and ask for advice. Plus they ask about stretching relaxers and stuff. They love helping me with my twists and are amazed at how easy some of my styles are. I do miss how easy it was to wash and go with a relaxer (especially with 3 other natural heads to take care of)but I just love feeling my hair and really getting to know it's texture. Plus I will be able to pass along all of my knowledge and experience to my daughters when they get older and choose to stay natural. I had to learn a lot of stuff on my own and now through this board which I am so thankful for!!! I think that the naturals and relaxed on this board really do relate and help each other out especially when it comes to products.

Queneesha
 
I like my natural texture better, tired of breakage, relaxers are very expensive and can be damaging, I didn't like applying the chemical to my hair
 
I'm not natural yet, still transitioning, but the reason I've stopped relaxing is:

1) I'm sick of the never ending cycle of hair dresser drama - it always works out that for one reason or the other I was never 100% happy at touchup time (whether they've trimmed too much, relaxed it too straight, ripped out my hair while detangling, etc.).

2) I don't think it's fair that in general, our natural textures is considered something that has to be "conquered or overcome" so to speak. If other races "get to" sport their natural textures without batting an eye, why shouldn't we?
 
[ QUOTE ]
NapturalGlory said:
considering this board is 43% natural (including the 13% transitioning) and 56% relaxed, there should be more natural monthly features like for example, maestradiva77. and more natural mods as well. i think it's good for us to be together in one forum so we can stay in touch with the "other side" so to speak. since most black people start off relaxing by default, seeing naturals online may be the only chance they have to learn about being natural. i know the only reason i am natural today is because of some folks online. in my real life 100% natural inspirations are lacking. there are just so few of us! i don't want to feel like i have to be disconnected with relaxed women since i was relaxed almost all of my life.

these are great replies ladies!

[/ QUOTE ]

I agree, the only reason I've stopped relaxing is because of people here that have done it. Before joining the board, I would have never even considered it as an option.
 
I choose not to relax because I didn't know how to take care of my permed hair. I also stay natural because I like my hair natural, I can do so much with it and if I want a straight look I straighten it. To me, when I had a perm my hair would get "nappy" but now that I'm natural, I never get this scary hard new growth that wouldn't straighten. Now that I'm completely natural my new growth grows in nice and soft and straightens great with patience.

If I had permed hair and knew what I was doing I would keep a perm, but I much more prefer to work with my natural hair.

By the way I never had such thick, shaky hair (when pressed) with a perm. I never even imagined my hair could grow like this. Dare to dream.
 
Basically, i just got fed up! My hair never really took to relaxing....i look at some of the relaxed ladies here and i think, you know my hair never looked that healthy, strong or beautiful...it never got long, there was never any movement, it didnt feel good.....i was basically just killing my hair for no good reason!

i constantly looked half done because, it seemed, my hair was just eating the relaxer....i would need a touch up just a few weeks later (i had no idea about stretching, or the options i know of now)....it was a hassle, especially when i went away to college...i had neither the time, the money, nor the inclination to try and take care of relaxed hair...

not to mention the stunted growth! i would always have new growth, but it would NEVER get any longer....about 3 years ago when i decided i was done with it, i had no idea what i was doing....but even being natural and not knowing (like i know now) how to take care of my hair, it grew! and retained the length, no less....

when my hair was relaxed, i NEVER got compliments no matter how fly i thought my hair looked....now, i just wash it and rush out of the house and i have strangers coming up to me saying they love my hair, they wish theirs looked like that...and yes, tryin to touch me!
laugh.gif
im not gonna pretend like i knew this would happen...i had no idea what i was getting myself into! it was a real learning experience, but im glad i did it....its not quite as healthy as i would like it, but its well on the way....
~T~
 
It caused breakage and stunting of my hair growth. It is very expensive ot get done at a salon (mom doesnt like doing it anymore). Also, I would occassionally get scabs in my head due to burning from the perm too. Plus, I dont even remember what my real texture is like. I want to know and I want to grow it out...so, no more perms for me. :-)
 
-Wasn't keeping up with my touch-ups very well
-My hair seemed thinner with a relaxer; plus it would grow long but eventually break off
-Tired of the upkeep
-Learned to like my natural hair and it's versatility
 
My decision to go natural was because:
1) I was tired of being dependent on the relaxer. My hair would shed like crazy when it was time for a retouch.

2) I got tired of every time I'd achieve some length and go back to the salon, the inches I had achieved would have to be cut bc they were dried from using heat to maintain the straight style.

3) Because I got tired of the weather dictating whether I would have a good hair day or not. Running to the car is no easy task when unexpected rain comes, especially when I'm wearing heels. My natural hair LOVES moisture so rain, snow, water sports, summer time, exercise, are ALL my friends bc I NEVER have to worry about my hair!

4) I LOVE curly styles and got tired of having to get twist sets, roller sets, rod sets, to achieve a curly look. Now when I want it curly, I wear it natural. And the TWO times this year that I wanted it straight, I pressed it.
 
I stopeed relaxing because:
-The relaxers were thinning out my hair.
-I had constant dandruff no matter what I did or what relaxer I used.
-all of the hairdressers I went to hadn't a clue how to get rid of the dandruff. (or that hair wasn't supposed to be bone straight. they never looked for the demarcation line.)
-I found out later that the dandruff was coming from the relaxers. I don't have dandruff at all now that I'm natural.
-I got tired of not being able to scratch my scalp.
-I got tired of endless hours in the beauty salon.
-My hair never grew beyond shoulder length and the one time it did, it thinnned out from the overprocessing.
-I remembered how thick and long my hair was when I was a little girl w/o a relaxer.
-I finally got tired of the cycle with my hair: dandruff, grow, thin, break off, start over.
 
Well, I guess I'm a little different in that I never had very many problems at all with my relaxed hair and it grew at it's longest to 2 inches above bra strap with nice thick ends. But I went natural in '98 and loved it, then got bored 3 years later and relaxed again, but it didn't take and it was more like a texturizer, then finally I relaxed all the way, stayed there for a couple years and now I'm natural again. Last relaxer was Dec. 19th and I big chopped in April. Luckily it grows fast, but I noticed it really takes off when natural. I loved my hair relaxed, and texturized and natural! But I must admit, there's just some allure being natural has for me. I feel I'm at my most beautiful and exotic when natural. I can't explain it really. I just feel more unique I guess. But I really did have a gorgeous thick, long head of relaxed hair too. Someone once told me that they could see why some people went natural if their hair was broken off and in bad shape, but she couldn't see why I'd go and cut off all that long, healthy hair.............I told her that it's a misconception that your hair has to be broken and in bad shape for you to become natural as some sort of "last resort" thing. For me it was simply a clear choice - not brought on by broken hair, but just to appreciate my 100% born with beauty as opposed to the beauty I can enhance with relaxers. For me it's just like some days wearing only mascara and slightly pink gloss - allowing the natural beauty to exist. Other times I'm like totally glammed up! I hope I changed this person's perception of natural-haired women and why we choose to be natural.
 
Relaxed hair is cool but I prefer my hair in it's natural state because I can switch between wearing it curly and wearing it straight.
 
1.tired of the constant heat used to maintain the sleek straight look
2.tired of the damaged scalp and burnt hair from neglectful stylist
3.I save a lot more money now than i ever did with relaxed hair. No more excessive products and paying for outrageous salon prices.
4.did not want to continue taking a risk with harsh chemicals possibly entering my body.
5. Love the comfort of having my natural God giving hair

the list goes on....Oh by the way, i am a newbie and i love this site and all the help you sistas have given. Thank you
 
Hmm this is an interesting topic. I guess I'm natural too, although I don't often think of my hair that way, but I don't relax, but I do press. I've been pressing for 8 years before that I did relax. My press looks as if I relax though.

I've never worn an afro or twists or dreads. I really wanted dreads for a long time, but didn't like having to cut all your hair off when you were ready to get rid of them.

Also, I like the twists and stuff.

I feel like I'm tired of the straight look all the time and want some new styles. I remember wet setting my hair when I had a perm. I also was into the updos and french rolls. I can still do the up dos, but my hair dresser doesn't really style he only does real good presses, so I get tired of the look sometimes, but I think it looks nice when I take care of it - like that silky flat iron look.

I am excited by the opportunity I have to wear it natural and curly sometimes, but I haven't done it yet.

I'm hoping to grow it long, so when I do decide to wear it curly the shrinkage won't make me look so drastically different and the hair so much shorter.

I do admire the natural styles. I'm not personally ready to step out there and do it at work though. I know they should accept us the way we are, but in all honesty I don't think they accept us. So when I finally do grow this hair out and try my curly styles - it'll be on the weekends or on vacations. (i.e. like I wear my hair in braids only on vacation days)

I do think that it's important that we feel beautiful no matter what society tries to feed us as a standard of beauty, bc truth be told God created us the way we are and God doesn't make any mistakes.
 
I've finally let my hair relaxer grow out after a little less than twenty years of relaxing. I will never get another relaxer again. My mother was told that I didn't need a relaxer when one was put in twenty years ago. The reason why a relaxer was put in was because I cried. I want a relaxer soooo bad. I was to young to know any better.

I want my hair back like it was before I got my first relaxer naturally curly 3a and 3b.

My natural hair is almost back. I have loose and fine type 3a curls in the back and the sides of my head, and I believe somewhat curlier and thicker type 3b curls at the crown along with the short broken off pieces that seem to never grow. Those short pieces make the crown roots look wavy because they're so short (they&amp;#8217;re less than a half of an inch). Yes, I am blaming the crown are on the relaxers.
 
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