Naturals: Do you still get offended?

[nappystorm]

I told a friend, who wants to be more than a friend, that I straightened my hair. He replied, "Why don't you ever have straight hair when I see you? Everytime I see you, you're walking around looking like a jungle woman". I then I .

Five years ago, I would have cussed him out now, hung up, and deleted him. No I just at these types of comments. Either I'm just used to them or I'm more secure. Do you guys still get offended?

 

[westNDNbeauty]

Nah. Cause I know I am flyy no matter what one person may think.

In my adolescent days a comment like that may have gotten to me because I used to be concerned about what other people think. But unless someone is lining my pockets (i.e. - my boss), their opinion on how I look matters NOT!

 

[curlyninjagirl]

Do I still get offended? YUP....I'm kinda sensitive. It's a gift and a curseerplexed

 

[Nayna]

Nah. Especially when I know they don't mean any harm.

However if someone is trying to insult me purposely I most definitely take the opportunity to tell them about themselves.

 

[Vashti]

I don't get hurt or offended like I used to. I just get annoyed or give people who make comments like that the side eye.

 

[FRESHstart101]

OT:

fierce fro in ya' avi.

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

Ummm yea. I think people know the right ones to try that with because I would have checked him..... quick.

Not only is that disrespectful, but it also indicates a lack of historical awareness or pride in ones heritage. Sounds like the type of guy that uses the n-word.

I personally have a zero-tolerance policy for people like that.

Unless he was being 100% sarcastic and satirizing ignorant folks that actually feel that way....it was offensive.

ETA: OP, I was there when the big debate happened on why black women perfer straight hair and how your siggy came about. From the look of things you were offended by the term "looking like an extra from the set of Roots" why did you take exception to that situation and let what this guy said slide?

 

[empressri]

Insults are never acceptable from anyone. That's the easiest way for me to shut you down, quick fast and in a hurry.

 

[Sharpened]

No.

"Why not get it straightened?"

Blank stare. "No."

"Don't you ever wear your hair straight?"

"No."

"You could try getting a curl again."

"No."

"You need a good, hard press."

"No."

"I know this stylist..."

"No."

After years of "no," only someone who does not know me would bother, if they dare penetrate the invisible force-field of "nosiness and stupidity not welcomed" surrounding me. I just don't care anymore. Old age, I guess.

 

[thehairmaverick]

I told a friend, who wants to be more than a friend, that I straightened my hair. He replied, "Why don't you ever have straight hair when I see you? Everytime I see you, you're walking around looking like a jungle woman". I then I .

Five years ago, I would have cussed him out now, hung up, and deleted him. No I just at these types of comments. Either I'm just used to them or I'm more secure. Do you guys still get offended?

.......erplexed....well this seems like a contradiction...maybe I'm over analyzing though

 

[jennboo]

Ummm yea. I think people know the right ones to try that with because I would have checked him..... quick.

Not only is that disrespectful, but it also indicates a lack of historical awareness or pride in ones heritage. Sounds like the type of guy that uses the n-word.

I personally have a zero-tolerance policy for people like that.

Unless he was being 100% sarcastic and satirizing ignorant folks that actually feel that way....it was offensive.

ETA: OP, I was there when the big debate happened on why black women perfer straight hair and how your siggy came about. From the look of things you were offended by the term "looking like an extra from the set of Roots" why did you take exception to that situation and let what this guy said slide?

ITA with everydamnthing in your post.

Too many okiedoke blacks out here.

 

[FebeeSigns]

I'm still offended by comments like that. It has nothing to do with my self esteem. I Know I'm the ish no matter what anyone says. It just hurts to know there are ignorant people out there who actually believe in the ignorant comments they spew.

 

[ToriLynn]

Kinda.. I recently sufferd a bunch of set backs so I just stayed away from heat all together and just wore a hat lol.(my texture was atrocious at the time). My SO thought that I just didn't find him special enough to straighten my hair on the daily basis untill I explained the situation.. He didn't really undersand what was going on with my hair but he said he didn't really care cause he loved me.."its just hair" he said.. But he would always offer to take me to the salon lol! He told me he thought I just didn't kno how to do my hair lol.

One day we were out at a tattoo shop and there I was with my little hat on. My edges at the time looked like 4b, and were sticking out a bit. The tattoo artist asked if i was getting dreads! With all my setbacks it just hit hard. I told him idk maybe and just looked away.. My SO knew how I felt about my hair so he said I'd be beautiful with dreads.

Ppl always make ignorant comments about natural hair. Everytime my cousin sees me she always asks what am I going to do with "that". She never asked me again after I told her i loved my curly fro and cursed her out lol.

Now that my hair is healthy[er] I am much more confident. Ppl are starting to come around to my natural hair after 6 or 7 years.. Not that they'd have a choice anyway.. And my SO understands now that he sees what damage I was talking about [he met me the the day after my setback lol]. He LOVES my natural hair! He always plays with my curls

 

[nappystorm]

Ummm yea. I think people know the right ones to try that with because I would have checked him..... quick.

Not only is that disrespectful, but it also indicates a lack of historical awareness or pride in ones heritage. Sounds like the type of guy that uses the n-word.

I personally have a zero-tolerance policy for people like that.

Unless he was being 100% sarcastic and satirizing ignorant folks that actually feel that way....it was offensive.

ETA: OP, I was there when the big debate happened on why black women perfer straight hair and how your siggy came about. From the look of things you were offended by the term "looking like an extra from the set of Roots" why did you take exception to that situation and let what this guy said slide?

That situation was a shock more than anything. Depending on where I'm at, I knd of expect it. I didn't expect here, especially from a moderator.

Even though I didn't cut a fool (I didn't say too much to the person who made the roots comment either), I made it clear that I thought his comment was hella stupid. Also, it knocked him out of the "maybe" category straight to the "not a chance in hell" category. He did not pass go and he did not collect $200.

 

[ToriLynn]

ITA with everydamnthing in your post.

Too many okiedoke blacks out here.

Lol what is an okiedoke black?

 

[jennboo]

In this case, a black person who not only allows ignorance like that to go unchecked, but also laughs heartily right along with the offending party.

 

[nappystorm]

.......erplexed....well this seems like a contradiction...maybe I'm over analyzing though

No you're not. I came to the same conclusion. I didn't cut a fool but he promptly got the

I'm still offended by comments like that. It has nothing to do with my self esteem. I Know I'm the ish no matter what anyone says. It just hurts to know there are ignorant people out there who actually believe in the ignorant comments they spew.

I used to get angry, now it just saddens me

Kinda.. I recently sufferd a bunch of set backs so I just stayed away from heat all together and just wore a hat lol.(my texture was atrocious at the time). My SO thought that I just didn't find him special enough to straighten my hair on the daily basis untill I explained the situation.. He didn't really undersand what was going on with my hair but he said he didn't really care cause he loved me.."its just hair" he said.. But he would always offer to take me to the salon lol! He told me he thought I just didn't kno how to do my hair lol.

One day we were out at a tattoo shop and there I was with my little hat on. My edges at the time looked like 4b, and were sticking out a bit. The tattoo artist asked if i was getting dreads! With all my setbacks it just hit hard. I told him idk maybe and just looked away.. My SO knew how I felt about my hair so he said I'd be beautiful with dreads.

Ppl always make ignorant comments about natural hair. Everytime my cousin sees me she always asks what am I going to do with "that". She never asked me again after I told her i loved my curly fro and cursed her out lol.

Now that my hair is healthy[er] I am much more confident. Ppl are starting to come around to my natural hair after 6 or 7 years.. Not that they'd have a reason anyway.. And my SO understands now that he sees what damage I was talking about [he met me the the day after my setback lol]. He LOVES my natural hair! He always plays with my curls

I've found that saying, "I like my hair" or simply and saying nothing saves me alot of aggrevation.

 

[nappystorm]

In this case, a black person who not only allows ignorance like that to go unchecked, but also laughs heartily right along with the offending party.

I respect your opinion, but I'm not going to get my blood pressure up arguing with some idiot I never have to see again. So yes, I politely laughed AT his ig'nant arse and went on about my night...with my beautiful, nappy hair

 

[notlookingback06]

I told a friend, who wants to be more than a friend, that I straightened my hair. He replied, "Why don't you ever have straight hair when I see you? Everytime I see you, you're walking around looking like a jungle woman". I then I .

Five years ago, I would have cussed him out now, hung up, and deleted him. No I just at these types of comments. Either I'm just used to them or I'm more secure. Do you guys still get offended?

I'll tell you what, his statement that I bolded, would've been his walking papers!
No way am I tolerating that crap.....

 

[nappystorm]

I'll tell you what, his statement that I bolded, would've been his walking papers!
No way am I tolerating that crap.....

They were. I'm just glad he saved me the trouble of a "I think we should just be friends" speech. He eliminated himself.

 

[Ishtar]

Yea, I do. Well,sometimes. I have been offended when people called my twists dreads. I have nothing against dreads.

I went to this gathering one day. My 4a hair was slicked back in a bun but I still had texture in my hair. I was offended when this guy started naming all these African places that he thought I was from. I'm looking at him stupid as he switched over to the Caribbean as I'm shaking my head.Then he finally asks me where I'm from and I say Texas ( I'm living in FL right now). He then laughs but tries to justify himself. " But I hear an accent". WTH!! He even had the kids looking at him like he was stupid.

I let it go.No point in getting angry.

 

[mzteaze]

I know some people don't like my hair...and it doesn't bother me for the most part. But no one wants someone to say something to hurt their feelings, no matter how you feel about it.

 

[Lady S]

Jungle woman? Seriously?! I've never gotten negative comments on my natural hair, so I'm not accustomed to that sort of statement. In that particular case, I don't know if I'd call it offended. More like

It is good to know woman in the jungle have super fly hair.

 

[PistolWhip]

Yes I do ! People know better period.............My family is the absolute worst

 

[Priss Pot]

In this case, a black person who not only allows ignorance like that to go unchecked, but also laughs heartily right along with the offending party.

Those are way too common.

I was at a dinner party a few weeks back, and this black guy is real good friends with this Asian chick. Well, they like taking racial shots at each other (he allows her to stay some crazy Black stereotypical stuff), and IMO she took one of the comments way too far. When the room got on the subject about the show Police Women of Memphis, this Asian chick said "Black women need to learn how to perm their hair before they go on tv." My mouth dropped...like, did she really just say that?

I brought it up to him, and of course he defended her and said that she didn't mean anything by it . He told me I was taking it personal, blah blah blah. I'm like, dude, whatever she says to offend YOU is your business, but with the statement she made, she wasn't talking about you...she was referencing BLACK women as a whole.....and I'm sitting there with my natural hair out.

 

[Yoshi3329]

Ummm yea. I think people know the right ones to try that with because I would have checked him..... quick.

Not only is that disrespectful, but it also indicates a lack of historical awareness or pride in ones heritage. Sounds like the type of guy that uses the n-word.

I personally have a zero-tolerance policy for people like that.

Unless he was being 100% sarcastic and satirizing ignorant folks that actually feel that way....it was offensive.

ETA: OP, I was there when the big debate happened on why black women perfer straight hair and how your siggy came about. From the look of things you were offended by the term "looking like an extra from the set of Roots" why did you take exception to that situation and let what this guy said slide?

In this case, a black person who not only allows ignorance like that to go unchecked, but also laughs heartily right along with the offending party.

Thank you was not enough!

Break it on down ladies!

 

[SND411]

Those are way too common.

I was at a dinner party a few weeks back, and this black guy is real good friends with this Asian chick. Well, they like taking racial shots at each other (he allows her to stay some crazy Black stereotypical stuff), and IMO she took one of the comments way too far. When the room got on the subject about the show Police Women of Memphis, this Asian chick said "Black women need to learn how to perm their hair before they go on tv." My mouth dropped...like, did she really just say that?

I brought it up to him, and of course he defended her and said that she didn't mean anything by it . He told me I was taking it personal, blah blah blah. I'm like, dude, whatever she says to offend YOU is your business, but with the statement she made, she wasn't talking about you...she was referencing BLACK women as a whole.....and I'm sitting there with my natural hair out.

I never understand why people take joy in taking "racial shots" at friends! I have had "friends" that use to do this all the time and claim they were "joking."

I honestly believe people are not joking and instead use these times as an outlet to say what they really think! And they think they're slick!

 

[SND411]

Honestly, I get get annoyed more than anything when the SAME people (usually family members) keep on repeating how they do not like my hair.

But I just tell them "you don't have to like it. God loves it enough to create me this way, and I concur with the Most High and that's all that matters..."

I think EVERY natural lady needs several really good comebacks in their arsenal....

 

[discodumpling]

I'm not offended at all...either i'm going to take the time to check you, or give you the blank stare; it just depends on my mood that day. Some folks have caught me on a bad day...

 

[choctaw]

Millie Jackson has a symphony for these folks: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iGJgyuAu6eo&feature=related