Natural vs Relaxed...who's wrong...who's right?

S

skyborn09

New Member
Now that I'm on my Hair Care Journey.. I'm starting to pay more attention to Black hair. And in doing so my mom has noticed as well as my friends that we as black society really don't talk about our hair as in regimens, care tips, products, length...none of that...u know. So we ended up discussing the two major black hair types:look:.....(natural hair or relaxed hair).

What I'm asking you is...
Why do you think that being natural is the best way to go?
OR
Why do you think that being relaxed is the best way to go?

If you are a relaxed sista do you feel that you are betraying your own race by changing your hair texture to best suit main society or the workforce?
OR
If you are a natural sista do you feel that you are making a statement to society with your hair saying that others should embrace who YOU ARE and not your hair?

There's nothing wrong with being neutral or simply expressing your opinion just keep it to an overall positive because when I discussed this topic with others.....um... well ....(let's just say there was alot of passion in the room:grin:)

:yep:Also I have a video I would like you to check out!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bsR-2t5TexM

THANKS:headspin:
 
Neither one is right or wrong. What's best for one person may not be best for another. It's up to you to make that decision. Yes, my hair is natural but I did not choose to go natural to make a statement to society. I did it because that was what was best for my hair at the time.
 
bmoreflyygirl said:
Neither one is right or wrong. What's best for one person may not be best for another. It's up to you to make that decision. Yes, my hair is natural but I did not choose to go natural to make a statement to society. I did it because that was what was best for my hair at the time.
Click to expand...

:yep::yep::yep: I don't let my hair be a ruler for my measure of blackness so it doesn't matter to me. Do what ever floats your boat.
 
bmoreflyygirl said:
Neither one is right or wrong. What's best for one person may not be best for another. It's up to you to make that decision. Yes, my hair is natural but I did not choose to go natural to make a statement to society. I did it because that was what was best for my hair at the time.
Click to expand...
Cosigns! There is no right or wrong. If I'm relaxed or natural I'm the same person at the end of the day. I'm not betraying anyone by being relaxed. I feel there are more important problems to worry about when it comes to our community. Relaxed vs. natural topics have never been a concern to me.
 
There is ABSOLUTELY no right or wrong in this. Its all a matter or preference. I am natural not because I am trying to make a political statement but because its what I wanted to do. I have been relaxed for 22 years of my life so I know both sides of the game.

I really hate it when people try to use our hair as a means of divisiveness among black women ( no I am not saying you OP-just speaking in general).

I also dislike militant nappies. Its just hair people! Just hair. Its not going to change the world.
 
bmoreflyygirl said:
Neither one is right or wrong. What's best for one person may not be best for another. It's up to you to make that decision. Yes, my hair is natural but I did not choose to go natural to make a statement to society. I did it because that was what was best for my hair at the time.
Click to expand...
ITA! I used to think I was carrying the weight of all of my black peoples in my hair! Well that was totally wrong because when I wore my hair out it didn't fall it stood...there was no weight there! My hair is my hair! It's never right and it is never wrong because like some one told me on here the other day...it is just protein! Just keep it as healthy as possible if that means you will matte it together to make dreads, or wear it naturally kinky, or die it blond or cut it short or wear it long or chemically str8en. This stuff grows yall, it's not like barbie when you were little cut it, color it you have permanently changed it. Thank goodness we have options and they all equal black folks hair. (Ours) will NEVER be like (theirs) so you're not betraying anything... Black is a culture not a hairstyle:lachen:
 
Now I'm natural and flat iron alot, but before that I'd wear my hair in big puffs and fros and I'd still get called "white" or people would say "I talked white" So in the end, who cares. Just be you.

The only part about SOME people with relaxers that I don't like is when they think a relaxer is the only way to go. You know the type. It's like they have self hate going on.

But then again there are natural sistahs with the same complex. For example, my aunt who is natural gets annoyed when I flat iron my natural hair.

I say, do whatever you think is cute and stylish!
 
naturallady said:
There is ABSOLUTELY no right or wrong in this. Its all a matter or preference. I am natural not because I am trying to make a political statement but because its what I wanted to do. I have been relaxed for 22 years of my life so I know both sides of the game.

I really hate it when people try to use our hair as a means of divisiveness among black women ( no I am not saying you OP-just speaking in general).

I also dislike militant nappies. Its just hair people! Just hair. Its not going to change the world.
Click to expand...
:lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen:
 
missfadu said:
Now I'm natural and flat iron alot, but before that I'd wear my hair in big puffs and fros and I'd still get called "white" or people would say "I talked white" So in the end, who cares. Just be you.

The only part about SOME people with relaxers that I don't like is when they think a relaxer is the only way to go. You know the type. It's like the have self hate going on.

But then again there are natural sistahs with the same complex. For example, my aunt who is natural gets annoyed when I flat iron my natural hair.

I say, do whatever you think is cute and stylish!
Click to expand...
GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!!!:wallbash:
 
Right now, im relaxed.
I keep wanting to transition, but at the same time i want to complete what im doing now, and make it to my dream hair length. I plan to transition in the next 1-2 years though so im not against either one.

I think natural is a good way to because
-Its the way God made us and its unique and beautifull
-It requires less to be healhty like our hair is supposed to be
-Its more versatile, you can have straight hair, and your natural hair

I think relaxed is a good way to go because
-It can be (sometimes, dependent on the person) eaiser to handle as far as detangling, combing---stuff like that


As a relaxed sista, i dont feel like im betraying my own race to suit main society or the workforce because i never knew anything about this before. My mom used to relax my hair for eaiser handling, and i just continued thinking it was the normal thing to do., i really didnt even know what natural hair was, i thought if i stretched a relaxer my whole head was natural. Now that i know about hair and continued to relax, its just simply a hair choice, i could go either way and not care or be worried with what main society or the workforce thinks. Getting a relaxer on hair imo isnt somethig that determines how someone feels about themself, their race, or how other people should judge them, unless the person purposely relaxes their hair to be "less black". But i personally think most black people dont look at it like that.
 
naturallady said:
There is ABSOLUTELY no right or wrong in this. Its all a matter or preference. I am natural not because I am trying to make a political statement but because its what I wanted to do. I have been relaxed for 22 years of my life so I know both sides of the game.

I really hate it when people try to use our hair as a means of divisiveness among black women ( no I am not saying you OP-just speaking in general).

I also dislike militant nappies. Its just hair people! Just hair. Its not going to change the world.
Click to expand...

Thats what i think also. The only reason people feel so stong about it on black people imo is because its one of the things that makes us unique (along with darker skin color) so anytime anyone does something that influences or changes what makes them unique, people think they are trying to be someone else, when in reality everyone does things with their skin and hair.
I've heard alot of people call Asian women trying to be white or disregard their race if they dye their hair blond, because they usually have black hair (like ours is usually curly)...when in reality, millions of people dye their hair all kinds of colors. Just hair.
 
I had relaxed hair for 14yrs....I decided to stop because I read somewhere that relaxer damges the scalp after years of extanded usage and then I look at a show on tv where the scalps of women with relaxed and natural hair was examined under ct scan and the relaxed scalps looked absolutely gross.
 
I think being natural or relaxed is a personal choice and one is not better than the other. I was relaxed and I enjoyed when I was relaxed, but then I wanted to be natural, and now I enjoy being natural.

I think that claiming a moral superiority from being natural is as bad as people who claim that relaxed hair is superior and more professional. To judge someone's worldview based on their hair is too superficial to me.
 
skyborn09 said:
Now that I'm on my Hair Care Journey.. I'm starting to pay more attention to Black hair. And in doing so my mom has noticed as well as my friends that we as black society really don't talk about our hair as in regimens, care tips, products, length...none of that...u know. So we ended up discussing the two major black hair types:look:.....(natural hair or relaxed hair).

What I'm asking you is...
Why do you think that being natural is the best way to go?
OR
Why do you think that being relaxed is the best way to go?

If you are a relaxed sista do you feel that you are betraying your own race by changing your hair texture to best suit main society or the workforce?
OR
If you are a natural sista do you feel that you are making a statement to society with your hair saying that others should embrace who YOU ARE and not your hair?

There's nothing wrong with being neutral or simply expressing your opinion just keep it to an overall positive because when I discussed this topic with others.....um... well ....(let's just say there was alot of passion in the room:grin:)

:yep:Also I have a video I would like you to check out!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bsR-2t5TexM

THANKS:headspin:
Click to expand...

I personally don't associate my hair styling choices with my degree of "blackness". However, for a very long time natural black hair has been associated with ugliness and unprofessionalism. I definitely uderstand why it can be a touchy subject for many people.

If were are going to talk strictly about what is best for your hair and health then I would say natural. But there are many healthy ladies in here with beautiful relaxed hair.
 
I BELIEVE THAT AS LONG AS YOUR TAKING CARE OF YOUR HAIR WHERE ITS HEALTHY AND IN GOOD SHAPE THERE SHOULD BE NO PROBLEM.
TO EACH HIS OWN, SOME LIKE THEIR HAIR IN ITS NATURAL STATE, WHILE SOME PREFER TO HAVE RELAXERS B/C IT MAKES IT EASIER FOR THEM TO MANAGE THEIR HAIR. ITS ALL JUST A MATTER OF PERSONAL PREFERENCE, I DONT SEE IT AS BETRAYAL OR DISOWNING YOUR BLACKNESS.

I DECIDED THAT I WOULD GO NATURAL ONCE I GRADUATED FROM H.S. I KNEW THAT AT THIS POINT IN MY LIFE I WOULD WANT A CHANGE AND A NEW LOOK.
 
naturallady said:
There is ABSOLUTELY no right or wrong in this. Its all a matter or preference. I am natural not because I am trying to make a political statement but because its what I wanted to do. I have been relaxed for 22 years of my life so I know both sides of the game.

I really hate it when people try to use our hair as a means of divisiveness among black women ( no I am not saying you OP-just speaking in general).

I also dislike militant nappies. Its just hair people! Just hair. Its not going to change the world.
Click to expand...

co-signing!

I was relaxed for about 12 years so I get the appeal. I didn't go natural for a political agenda, in fact it was just b/c I had run out of money and needed to be free of the finanacial constraints of relaxing. Now I really enjoy my hair, but just like with anything I go through my ups and downs, but for me overall the heallth of my hair is greatly improved, but that is also b/c of the wealth of information I now know that I didn't b4. (case and point: no more luster's pink lotion:nono:)
 
fluffylocks said:
Thats what i think also. The only reason people feel so stong about it on black people imo is because its one of the things that makes us unique (along with darker skin color) so anytime anyone does something that influences or changes what makes them unique, people think they are trying to be someone else, when in reality everyone does things with their skin and hair.
I've heard alot of people call Asian women trying to be white or disregard their race if they dye their hair blond, because they usually have black hair (like ours is usually curly)...when in reality, millions of people dye their hair all kinds of colors. Just hair.
Click to expand...

I agree especially with the bolded. The first thing I thought was that no one ever accuses a Caucasian of denying their race when they tan, perm, straighten, color, etc. It's all (mostly) a matter of style, trend, and personal taste--even economics as some posters have mentioned.
 
I agree with everyone else in saying that neither is right or wrong...it depends on what you personally want or feel is the best for your hair......personally I've been natural for almost 6 years now....BUT the first 3 years I didn't know how to take care of my hair.....and my hair ended up being a tangled matted frustrating mess that I ended up cutting to short short :nono:.....now that I'm learning to take care of my hair more I can personally tell that mineral oil and petrolum products are not good on my hair (I hate the residue) and that periodic heat..like once every 3 or 4 months is ok......otherwise my hair likes to be left alone......although I still think it's bipolar cuz some days it's being nice and I can attempt to do a style and other days it's manic depressive and it stays in a bun :lachen:

but anyhoo........it just depends on what you're comfortable working with.....true some people will say that relaxing is bad for your hair but you know what...i can't say one way or the other cuz there so many different things now like tex-lax and stuff that I know nothing about lol I'm afraid I'm back in the stone age as far as that goes...:look:


but hey..........whatever floats your boat....lol sorry for the long post!
 
I do whatever is conducive/what I am feeling for my lifestyle at the time. I have been both natural and relaxed a couple of times over (I'm 38). Hair is not political to me-it's more of a fashion statement really.
 
bmoreflyygirl said:
Neither one is right or wrong. What's best for one person may not be best for another. It's up to you to make that decision. Yes, my hair is natural but I did not choose to go natural to make a statement to society. I did it because that was what was best for my hair at the time.
Click to expand...

ITA :yep: .
 
Im natural. But the bottom line is when the cops pull you over, all they see is that you're BLACK..they don't care if your hair is relaxed or natural..

So at the end of the day...youre still black and hair can never measure your
blackness.

It doesn't matter if relaxed or not....your still the same person. Its all about preference.
 
Being relaxed was wrong for MY hair because relaxers made my hair fall out.

Being natural is right for MY hair because it helps me keep more hair on my head.

What's right or wrong is soley contingent on the person and their individual hair care needs and what they feel is best for them.
 
genesis132 said:
Im natural. But the bottom line is when the cops pull you over, all they see is that you're BLACK..they don't care if your hair is relaxed or natural..

So at the end of the day...youre still black and hair can never measure your
blackness.

It doesn't matter if relaxed or not....your still the same person. Its all about preference.
Click to expand...


I forgot to answer the OP question.

I've been natural now for almost 4 years because I decided to put my own highlights in my hair SL relaxed hair.....BIG MISTAKE!! So I cut the relaxer out and transitioned using kinky twists extensions. Being natural is a learning experience...however, looking at these healthy relaxed ladies on the board brings me comfort in knowing that....if...IF..I decide to relax again in the future..i can have healthy relaxed hair....

BTW, some of us natural ladies shouldn't feel like it's TABOO to even think about relaxing....because I was relaxed all my life and now that I'm natural it doesn't give me a reason to down-grade where I came from....IMO
 
Why do you think that being natural is the best way to go?
Because I was tired of getting relaxer touch-ups and feeling the potential burning on my scalp.

If you are a natural sista do you feel that you are making a statement to society with your hair saying that others should embrace who YOU ARE and not your hair?
NOPE... I am not my hair.
 
So theres nothing wrong with "chemical fire cream?":lachen::lachen::lachen:

sorry i read this term recently and found it hillarious, carry on. I joke, I joke!:grin:
 
For me I have no preferences, no right or wrong. Do with your hair with you like. I never planned on being natural and now I am.
 
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