sunshinelady
New Member
Hi ladies,
I have been natural for about 7 years after not being able to afford a relaxer ($80) while in Wash, DC doing an unpaid summer internship. I was thinking about everything I wish I knew about natural hair and thought I would list it here.
1. Products that worked on your relaxed hair may not work on your natural hair. Experiment until you get it right.
2. That first little new growth that you get when you need a retouch is not what it will look like after the big chop. Sometimes it will look better, sometimes worse. Some people call it "scab" hair. I thought my newgrowth was so shiny and curly...when I did my BC I was like "What in the world".
3. Don't relax your child's hair until after they are 13. I got my first relaxer at 7 or so and my hair did not return to its previous texture after going natural. I learned that a child's hair follicles are not fully formed until around 13 and perming earlier could permanently damage follicles.
4. Just because you are natural does not mean that you can stop getting your hair trimmed. Get it trimmed at least every 2 months if you want to keep your ends healthy.
5. When you get the urge to get a relaxer go get a wig or get braids. It will help you get over the hump. Just have one on hand for events that you want something different. I really wish someone told me that when I hit that "not cute" 1.5 year mark. It was a rough period and I should have just gotten braids.
6. Condition your hair as often as necessary. I had to co-wash my hair everyday and people thought I was crazy. I had to in order to get my hair in a puff. If you don't wash, at least spritz it everyday.
7. Not everyone's hair is meant to look like a video chick's. For the longest, I desperately wanted my 4b hair to curl into ringlets and shine. I wasted a lot of time and money. Highly textured hair does not shine without a lot products, but that does not mean it is unhealthy. Your hair is beautiful and work with what you have.
8. Ignore your family and friends if they don't like your hair as long as you are well-kempt. Offer to allow them to pay for your weave or wig if they hate it so much. Their dislike of your hair has more to do with them than it does with you.
9. Nearly every natural will get the itch to relax their hair when it gets to be about ear length, do whatever it takes to fight this urge if you want to stay natural (see #5). I did this and found that my head looked HUGE. I cried and got braids down to my waist. Edit: My suggestion for this is to get braids before you get a relaxer. It will give you some time to think.
10. If, after trying to stay natural, you decide that manageability or any other reason makes you want to go back to a relaxer, then Do It! One thing I have learned after being natural is that natural hair is a lot of work. You don't owe anything to anybody and it is YOUR hair. Don't be a prisoner. These days, a relaxer has little to do with wanting to be white and everything to do with wanting to easily comb your hair. And sometimes, you don't want politics to play out in your hair. Just make sure you keep your hair healthy.
Hope this helps someone go natural, stay natural, or get a relaxer without guilt!
P.S. Learn to cornrow, it is really important.
P.P.S. Some people's hair texture changes as it gets longer. Mine has changed a couple of times.
P.P.P.S A really positive thing about being natural is that you lose your dread of hair cuts (at least for me). I doesn't bother me too much when I go to get a trim and it turns out to be a cut. It all looks the same when your hair is shrunken.
P.P.P.P.S. Knots seem to be a way of life, trimming will help, but don't beat yourself or your hair up about them.
I have been natural for about 7 years after not being able to afford a relaxer ($80) while in Wash, DC doing an unpaid summer internship. I was thinking about everything I wish I knew about natural hair and thought I would list it here.
1. Products that worked on your relaxed hair may not work on your natural hair. Experiment until you get it right.
2. That first little new growth that you get when you need a retouch is not what it will look like after the big chop. Sometimes it will look better, sometimes worse. Some people call it "scab" hair. I thought my newgrowth was so shiny and curly...when I did my BC I was like "What in the world".
3. Don't relax your child's hair until after they are 13. I got my first relaxer at 7 or so and my hair did not return to its previous texture after going natural. I learned that a child's hair follicles are not fully formed until around 13 and perming earlier could permanently damage follicles.
4. Just because you are natural does not mean that you can stop getting your hair trimmed. Get it trimmed at least every 2 months if you want to keep your ends healthy.
5. When you get the urge to get a relaxer go get a wig or get braids. It will help you get over the hump. Just have one on hand for events that you want something different. I really wish someone told me that when I hit that "not cute" 1.5 year mark. It was a rough period and I should have just gotten braids.
6. Condition your hair as often as necessary. I had to co-wash my hair everyday and people thought I was crazy. I had to in order to get my hair in a puff. If you don't wash, at least spritz it everyday.
7. Not everyone's hair is meant to look like a video chick's. For the longest, I desperately wanted my 4b hair to curl into ringlets and shine. I wasted a lot of time and money. Highly textured hair does not shine without a lot products, but that does not mean it is unhealthy. Your hair is beautiful and work with what you have.
8. Ignore your family and friends if they don't like your hair as long as you are well-kempt. Offer to allow them to pay for your weave or wig if they hate it so much. Their dislike of your hair has more to do with them than it does with you.
9. Nearly every natural will get the itch to relax their hair when it gets to be about ear length, do whatever it takes to fight this urge if you want to stay natural (see #5). I did this and found that my head looked HUGE. I cried and got braids down to my waist. Edit: My suggestion for this is to get braids before you get a relaxer. It will give you some time to think.
10. If, after trying to stay natural, you decide that manageability or any other reason makes you want to go back to a relaxer, then Do It! One thing I have learned after being natural is that natural hair is a lot of work. You don't owe anything to anybody and it is YOUR hair. Don't be a prisoner. These days, a relaxer has little to do with wanting to be white and everything to do with wanting to easily comb your hair. And sometimes, you don't want politics to play out in your hair. Just make sure you keep your hair healthy.
Hope this helps someone go natural, stay natural, or get a relaxer without guilt!
P.S. Learn to cornrow, it is really important.
P.P.S. Some people's hair texture changes as it gets longer. Mine has changed a couple of times.
P.P.P.S A really positive thing about being natural is that you lose your dread of hair cuts (at least for me). I doesn't bother me too much when I go to get a trim and it turns out to be a cut. It all looks the same when your hair is shrunken.
P.P.P.P.S. Knots seem to be a way of life, trimming will help, but don't beat yourself or your hair up about them.
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especially the part about other people's reaction having everything to do with them and not with you. This is applicable in many life situations
kudos to you for this post.
