Natural ladies?

[Country gal]

[ QUOTE ]
sillygurl18 said:
Yes sbaker, but you seemed rather harsh and it seemed to me that that you felt you had to explain yourself to people. If you are comfortable with what you are doing and you feel good about it, you shouldn't have to feel the need to explain yourself especially when nobody asked or even mentioned it. JMHO

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Sillygurl, you responded directly to my post with a question twice. Which led me to believe that you were posing both questions to me directly. So why wouldn't I respond to your direct question to me? /images/graemlins/smirk.gif

 

[Country gal]

[ QUOTE ]
ms_kenesha said:
I have no problem with anyone wanting to perm, press, texturize, fro it out, dred it up, etc.

BUT...

Everybody and they momma know, that when someone says they have a good grade or grain of hair they are talking about it in opposition to someone else's "bad" hair and for someone to not just say they have a good grade, but to add that because they have a good grade & they don't know why their mom permed it means, that they believe some people NEED perms *those with a "bad" grade* and some people don't NEED perms *people with a good grade/grain*!

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out that it's just a rehashing of the good hair/bad hair syndrome!

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It doesn't take a rocket scientist for me to know what word I should or should not use. The way that I describe my hair doesn't mean I think there is such a thing as bad and good hair in relation to texture and length. To me no hair is bad in which the term was originally used. In my personal life I flipped the connotation of the word to mean something different than it's orininal meaning. I think everyone has the potential of having "good hair" becasue to me "good hair" is healthy hair. Bad hair is poorly treated hair, split ends, etc. It ain't got nothing to do with length or wave pattern. A girlfriend of mine was talking about she didn't know if she should go natural because she had a bad grade of hair. I told her that she has nice grade of hair. I tell that to everyone becasue for so long we have associated tightly coiled hair as "bad hair". My little baby cousin cut her baby sister's hair to get rid of the beaty beads. /images/graemlins/confused.gif I told my cousin (their mother) to stop talking negatively about their hair, they have a good grade of hair period. People need to think positively about their hair and need to embrace it. If you think your hair is bad or unmanageable, then you are going to treat it that way. I don't beleive in subscribing to a self defeatist attitude.

In response to my statement My hair doesn't need to be permed. I don't think anyone hair needs to be permed. As black women we think the solution to have more manageable hair is a perm. When really maybe all it takes is more research and patience. For me, growing up my hair was always thick and healthy. It was pressed for special occasions and braided up most of the time. So for me, I don't understand why my mother felt the need to perm my hair. The only thing I can think of was that it was just easier and faster for her to do it if it was relaxed. I'm sure you have asked yourself the same question too. Isn't that why you wanted to go natural in the first place to get a better understanding of your natural hair un processed?

 

[sunnygirl]

Hey Ladies,

I personally know two young ladies who went natural years ago. They both wear their hair pressed. One started trasitioning from a relaxer four years ago. She has it pressed every two weeks. Her hair is now in the past the bra strap. The other young lady went natural 12 years ago and she now has tailbone waist lenght hair, she presses every three weeks.

It can be done, but be sure to take care of your locks and stay away from the heat while in between washes. Another great example, unlvgirl.

 

[ms_kenesha]

This was not evident from your original post, especially if read by some unenlightened members of the board.

You stated:
I think it depends on what your purpose for going natural is. For me, I have a nice grain of hair so I didn't understand why my mother permed my hair. Well I actually do, she just got tired of dealing with it. When I was natural I would get my hair pressed as a little girl and it was always healthy. When I do perm my hair it is always a mild perm. I fiqure why get a mild perm when it appears I really don't need a relaxer that bad. I want to also be able to color my hair. My hair can't handle two chemicals.

If someone says that they have a nice grain of hair it is usually in relation to the opposite of that. If someone belives that all textures of hair are equal in goodness then they wouldn't usually point out their texture in opposition to anyone else's hair.

I, too do not believe in the good hair/bad hair ideology and I'm glad you've been trying to spread some knowledge to other family members. And yes you're right I wanted to go natural in the first place to get a better understanding of your natural hair unprocessed and I can say it's given me a great amount of patience and a whole different perspective of my hair both relaxed and natural. /images/graemlins/smile.gif I wish you the same happiness in your natural journey.

[ QUOTE ]
sbaker said:
[ QUOTE ]
ms_kenesha said:
I have no problem with anyone wanting to perm, press, texturize, fro it out, dred it up, etc.

BUT...

Everybody and they momma know, that when someone says they have a good grade or grain of hair they are talking about it in opposition to someone else's "bad" hair and for someone to not just say they have a good grade, but to add that because they have a good grade & they don't know why their mom permed it means, that they believe some people NEED perms *those with a "bad" grade* and some people don't NEED perms *people with a good grade/grain*!

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out that it's just a rehashing of the good hair/bad hair syndrome!

[/ QUOTE ]

It doesn't take a rocket scientist for me to know what word I should or should not use. The way that I describe my hair doesn't mean I think there is such a thing as bad and good hair in relation to texture and length. To me no hair is bad in which the term was originally used. In my personal life I flipped the connotation of the word to mean something different than it's orininal meaning. I think everyone has the potential of having "good hair" becasue to me "good hair" is healthy hair. Bad hair is poorly treated hair, split ends, etc. It ain't got nothing to do with length or wave pattern. A girlfriend of mine was talking about she didn't know if she should go natural because she had a bad grade of hair. I told her that she has nice grade of hair. I tell that to everyone becasue for so long we have associated tightly coiled hair as "bad hair". My little baby cousin cut her baby sister's hair to get rid of the beaty beads. /images/graemlins/confused.gif I told my cousin (their mother) to stop talking negatively about their hair, they have a good grade of hair period. People need to think positively about their hair and need to embrace it. If you think your hair is bad or unmanageable, then you are going to treat it that way. I don't beleive in subscribing to a self defeatist attitude.

In response to my statement My hair doesn't need to be permed. I don't think anyone hair needs to be permed. As black women we think the solution to have more manageable hair is a perm. When really maybe all it takes is more research and patience. For me, growing up my hair was always thick and healthy. It was pressed for special occasions and braided up most of the time. So for me, I don't understand why my mother felt the need to perm my hair. The only thing I can think of was that it was just easier and faster for her to do it if it was relaxed. I'm sure you have asked yourself the same question too. Isn't that why you wanted to go natural in the first place to get a better understanding of your natural hair un processed?

[/ QUOTE ]

 

[TigerLily]

[ QUOTE ]
sillygurl18 said:
I never understood what a nice grade of hair meant can anybody explain it to me, what makes one grade better than the other? Better yet what is a grade?

[/ QUOTE ]

This is the question that was asked after sbaker made the reference to good hair. She was the only one to make this reference. Why should sbaker think that you were not responding to what she said? /images/graemlins/confused.gif/images/graemlins/smirk.gif

In addition, you said 'can anybody explain it to me?' Well, she sbaker is anybody...

 

[Country gal]

Ms. K- I see where it was confusing. I was making the point about the mild relaxer because it was a revelation for me. I have been relaxed for most of my life so it was just regular occurance for me. This board helped me to really think of becoming natural. My hair dresser would use a very mild perm on my head. So for me I thought well if I am using a very mild perm why does it need to be permed anyway? Same thing with kiddie perms. It is suppose to be very mild but if you are going to perm than you might as well use a stronger version. So for me when the hair stylist would say well you don't need a stronger perm. I started thinkg you are right I don't need a perm at all, I have just been conditioned to thinking I need a perm. In that statement I am not saying that anyone needs a perm. I use to think that for lack of knowledge. Now I realize that many ladies on this relax because it may be more manageable that way. Being a transitioning natural, it's easy for me to see why some people relax. I get from the board that it is easier and faster way of styling their hair. I know with transitioning hair, It takes me more time to style especially since I have two textures.

I don't think perms are bad or people are uninformed for using a perm. I won't say I want ever perm again. I just now know that a perm is an option not a way of life as I have been taught to think. I am not afraid to have the beady beads as my cousins would say. I remember growing up saying on it's time for my touch up if someone looked at my hair wrong or commenting on it not being up to par.

 

[ms_kenesha]

I can say that after being natural I've totally got that frame of mind. I was never one to cry if I had a centimeter of newgrowth showing, but beign natural has made me not care about newgrowth at all except if I start breaking. I also don't feel the pressure for my hair to be lyed/dued/and laid to the side /images/graemlins/laugh.gif and I am more self sufficient with my hair now than ever *I only need prof. for touch-ups*

[ QUOTE ]
sbaker said:
I don't think perms are bad or people are uninformed for using a perm. I won't say I want ever perm again. I just now know that a perm is an option not a way of life as I have been taught to think. I am not afraid to have the beady beads as my cousins would say. I remember growing up saying on it's time for my touch up if someone looked at my hair wrong or commenting on it not being up to par.

[/ QUOTE ]

 

[toyagurl]

You know...I think that this is a great question being asked here. (Please anyone reading this if I am not intentionally typing anything that may be offensive so please in the words of Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable don't "Whale my head off.") I wanted ask it too. I am transitioning but I absolutely intend to wear my hair straight sometimes. My hair was relaxed when I was young so it wasn't my call, now it is and I feel that I have enough info. thanks to LHCF to control it whichever way I decide to wear it. I was inspired to do this because while in college I met a girl with beautiful hair and she was transitioning not to "free" herself but just because she figured why relax and straighten when she knew how to handle her hair. Her coif was unreal and she let me know how she maintained it. She washed often and used her Chi (which was the first that I had heard of one). She was my same hair type. I figure if her hair was so healthy then with proper care mine can be the same way. I can't wait to have my natural hair so that I can aim to do what my mother could not which is tame the wild beast.(And it really was I'll post pics when I can get ahold to some) I mean for me I want that unbeleivably thick head of hair that I had as a child that was always what my mom called "stupid long." She has always said that she does not like the way that a relaxer does my hair so I figure why not undo a mistake? BTW I have a cousin with waist length hair and she gets that mug pressed 1x weekly. Still healthy...still "stupid long"
In conclusion, I can't wait to have natural hair so that I can see if this chi is really all that, if not at least I'll be the person deciding whether or not to put the wild beast back in the cage.

 

[Poohbear]

Good luck toyagurl... keep dreaming big and aiming for your goals! I'll be right there witcha' transitioning! btw, I like your "bootleg glamour shot" in your album! /images/graemlins/smile.gif

 

[musiclova]

I had said that I was done with this thread but I couldn't resist coming back in since I see alot of ladies are still contributing to it /images/graemlins/smirk.gif. Hi Toyagurl /images/graemlins/wave.gif, your hair is beautiful. You have a real natural beauty. It seems as though you and I have the same intention of still straightening our natural hair from time to time so if you have any helpful hints please share. I need to hurry up and post pics myself so I can keep record of my progress better. BTW, I use a Jilbere Ceramic flat iron on moderate heat and it gets the job done. I have a small chi iron that I use in the back section of my hair where it is shorter. They both work fine and I only use them once a week. I also will start incorporating braid outs to my regime when I learn how to be patient and let them airdry all the way before I undo them. Anyway didn't mean to babble. Good luck during your transition!

 

[toyagurl]

[ QUOTE ]
Poohbear said:
Good luck toyagurl... keep dreaming big and aiming for your goals! I'll be right there witcha' transitioning! btw, I like your "bootleg glamour shot" in your album! /images/graemlins/smile.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

Poohbear...that was just wrong! /images/graemlins/lachen70.gif Now nobody said anything about your avatar. Work that camera girl...

 

[toyagurl]

[ QUOTE ]
musiclova said:
It seems as though you and I have the same intention of still straightening our natural hair from time to time so if you have any helpful hints please share.

[/ QUOTE ]

/images/graemlins/wave.gif Sup gurl...I think that we should be hair buddies you know...keep each other strong when times get hard. You down for the cause? I really can't wait, i'm so excited. I used to work at GNC and this lady would come in, She got her hair pressed and every week and her hair was gorgeous. From time to time I'd see her at Walmart and I'd follow her pretending to say hi but I was checking out that hair. That's going to be us girl! Pooh...you down for the cause?

 

[sillygurl18]

Its over now I don't even really feel like explaining it but here goes. You said.....


"And going natural doesn't mean I am trying to send out a message. I stated cleary what my reasons were above. So for me wearing natural hair should be a way I want to express myself. It doesn't mean I need to have in a fro all the time because I am 'natural'. "

To which I said...

"I was just asking a question. Why are you so defensive"

You said "I wasn't being defensive..."

To that I said...
"Yes sbaker, but you seemed rather harsh and it seemed to me that that you felt you had to explain yourself to people. If you are comfortable with what you are doing and you feel good about it, you shouldn't have to feel the need to explain yourself especially when nobody asked or even mentioned it. JMHO "

 

[Poohbear]

[ QUOTE ]
toyagurl said:
[ QUOTE ]
Poohbear said:
Good luck toyagurl... keep dreaming big and aiming for your goals! I'll be right there witcha' transitioning! btw, I like your "bootleg glamour shot" in your album! /images/graemlins/smile.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

Poohbear...that was just wrong! /images/graemlins/lachen70.gif Now nobody said anything about your avatar. Work that camera girl...

[/ QUOTE ] /images/graemlins/rofl.gif

 

[Country gal]

[ QUOTE ]
sillygurl18 said:
Its over now I don't even really feel like explaining it but here goes. You said.....


"And going natural doesn't mean I am trying to send out a message. I stated cleary what my reasons were above. So for me wearing natural hair should be a way I want to express myself. It doesn't mean I need to have in a fro all the time because I am 'natural'. "

To which I said...

"I was just asking a question. Why are you so defensive"

You said "I wasn't being defensive..."

To that I said...
"Yes sbaker, but you seemed rather harsh and it seemed to me that that you felt you had to explain yourself to people. If you are comfortable with what you are doing and you feel good about it, you shouldn't have to feel the need to explain yourself especially when nobody asked or even mentioned it. JMHO "

[/ QUOTE ]

...

 

[Country gal]

Hey, let's all be hair buddies since we are transitioning. I think Meloddee would be down for that since she is transitioning too. I will still go to my natural hair advisers (Miss Brown and now Neferti) for advice but it will be nice to chat with ladies going through the struggle of taming the wild beast as toya put it.

 

[sillygurl18]

I'm through. Anybody want to ask me a question. They can PM me.

 

[Country gal]

Toya- pretty pics and cute boyfriend

 

[toyagurl]

[ QUOTE ]
sbaker said:
Toya- pretty pics and cute boyfriend

[/ QUOTE ]

Uh..Ummm (Clearing Throat) Fiance. Thanks sbaker. Is that your son in the AV. He's darling. You didn't have to say my child was cute but that's ok. /images/graemlins/rofl.gif

 

[Country gal]

[ QUOTE ]
toyagurl said:
[ QUOTE ]
sbaker said:
Toya- pretty pics and cute boyfriend

[/ QUOTE ]

Uh..Ummm (Clearing Throat) Fiance. Thanks sbaker. Is that your son in the AV. He's darling. You didn't have to say my child was cute but that's ok. /images/graemlins/rofl.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

I didn't see a picture with a child in it. I didn't really look all the way through. Just the pics toward the end of the album.

Yes, that's my lil man

 

[toyagurl]

I didn't see a picture with a child in it. I didn't really look all the way through. Just the pics toward the end of the album.


Girl...I'm taliking about my dog.


/images/graemlins/rofl.gif

 

[Mahalialee4]

On another note: to focus on the original post about being able to wear hair straight when natural. I do not put chemicals in my hair or press it or flat iron it or blowdry etc. and I wear my hair straight 99% of the time. Depending on the texture of your hair, it can be thick, textured straight or fine silky straight, but if straight styles are what you prefer, nothing in my opinion, beats a wet or dry wrap airdried or for a silkier look, under a hooded dryer till dry. I get tremendous swing that was mentioned and sometimes I dry with no product except Infusium Original leave in spray and distilled water. I rewrap about 3 times a week. It prevents my hair from tangling and knotting and I can wear any range of styles. I was never a person for having curls or ringlets or coiffed hair styles. I am focused on gaining length so I never feel I have to curl my hair for it to look good or cared for. Once it gets to the bottom of my bra strap all one length, I will continue to do the same thing because I will bun it regularly and just let it down to swing, to moisturize and oil it. Currently it is all one length so the wrap style supports the swing. If your hair is layered, it may have less swing. Hope this helps. Bonjour

 

[Irresistible]

Interesting thread.
speakin for myself, I cannot Imagine wearing my hair staight all the time , thats just wayyyy wayyy wayyy too much work!!! and i know if i did, i wouldnt have any hair left!!!.....but i know thats a fact for MY hair. I dont know how anyone elses hair can tolerate it....mine cant

but regarding the original question.....yes its swingable, movable and free flowing and light, airy and blowin in the wind and all that......umm that is untill it poofs...... hehehe /images/graemlins/laugh.gif