Afrolinda
Well-Known Member
Well, you probably already know that I don't feel that way myself. But some recent transitioners on the AOLHair Talk board do!
The post began with this discussion:
"I am trying so hard to hang in here, but going natural really sucks. I have always had naturally long hair, however I've been relaxing it for more than 25 years. In recent years, I've noticed my hair has begun to thin in the very top and around the frontal lobe. I switched from regular relaxers to mild, then eventually down to a kiddie perm. About 90 days ago, I finally made the decision to just let the relaxer go. I still have all of my long hair, but I have about 2" if new growth. I am going nuts!!! I have to wet it to comb it. I have put lots of moisturizer in it because I'm worried that it will start to break and look bad. Wearing it down is not an option so I keep it in a ponytail.
Does anyone know what else I can do with this stuff. I don't even remember what it was like to have natural hair and I have NO idea of how to care for it. I don't do wigs, but I may have to make an exception if I can't find some alternatives.
Help me someone please!!"
Help came in the form of many, many follow up comments... and now I'm happy to chime in with my two cents. Fret not -- I know you're not alone!
Just recently I got cries for help from two ladies I've known since high school. One high school classmate, Roxanne, lamented the endless detangling of her hair every day and cited that as a reason to return to relaxer. The other sent me a lengthy letter which I'll share with you.
"I am writing to tell you my sad hair story and was wondering if you can point me in the right direction.
So I've recently embarked on a my switch to non-straightened hair, i.e. no chemical processing (since about the beginning of the year). I am at an absolute loss and somewhat out of my element with this and can't seem to find a product/ (s) that does the moisturising/anti-frizzing/wet-n-go/ curl-enhancing facility. These days when I cannot make it to my hairdresser (who hails from Dom Rep and thus is a boss with the blow out), i wear my hair in a bun after shampoo and conditioner to tame it somewhat. With the blow out however by the evening or sooner depending on the humidity the style is gone and I work out at least 3x a week so it is for really special occasions now and the wet bun look prevails. This isn't professional enough for my job unfortunately and i am looking for something that allows me to just chop off the straight ends...if not immediately by the end of the year!
I can't tell u how little time i have daily to devote to my hair, which is why the processing worked prior...but i am ready to do anything to make this change happen. My mother figures that my hair has changed somewhat since she remembers curling my hair with her comb but to me it is just a wavy version to what i remember pre age 15 or so...not to mention my fancy ethnic mix that makes one side curl and the other side just about dead straight....plus i guess i don't really know how to use a comb to get those "cork-screws" she used to do :-(
let me know what you recommend since you clearly have the know on the best products
Wishing you all the best and hope to hear from you soon
Ciao,
Keisha"
To Keisha, Roxanne, and every bella who's struggling with their hair's natural texture -- remember these three basic points.
1 -- everyone's natural hair texture is different. And it changes over time, so the natural ringlets you may have had as a wee bella might just be in the past. You're going to have to learn to work with what you've got. And that may take time, trial, and error.
2 -- Natural hair SHOULD BE all about preserving your hair's health. In those moments of texture or style-inspired frustration, think of the damage your hair was experiencing due to the battery of harsh chemicals. When you reach your point of maximum frustration, try to remember why you chose to go natural in the first place.
3 -- Having said that, everything ain't for everybody. Going natural can be a rollercoaster of hair emotion, and it takes patience to teach yourself how to work with your hair texture. I'm not even gonna front like it's a piece of cake. I've had major moments of hair frustration, especially in my early days of transitioning. Seven years in, I'm delighted with my decision.
In order to avoid those feelings of angst and anger against your new natural hair, I suggest you examine your current regimen. What products are you using? Are they the same products that you used when your hair was chemically treated? Because if so, they probably won't suit your hair's needs anymore.
Keisha confessed that she's still shampooing her hair twice a week, which is fine if you have chemically processed or straight hair, but for my particular texture's needs, Lorraine Massey's no-poo method has proven to be the most effective. You should read her book, Curly Girl, as an initial education to methods for caring for your transitioning texture. Chris-Tia Donaldson's book, Thank God I'm Natural, is an even more detailed guide to caring for and maintaining natural hair and I highly recommend it as a printed resource, filled with essential information on everything from hair types and styling methods, to must-know websites and a hairdressers' guide at the back.
In terms of detangling -- it's a must. If I don't detangle, my hair starts to loc up very quickly. I try to co-wash and detangle (by combing from the bottom of my hair and going up to the root), every other day. In terms of products, expand your horizons beyond what's available in the drugstore. Unfortunately, most drugstore brands haven't quite caught on to our hair's particular needs. So that means you should look online, to companies like Miss Jessie's, Curls, Kinky Curly, and my new favorite brand, Karen's Body Beautiful. OMG their hair milk smells like HEAVEN and leaves my coils so defined, springy, and gorgeous. More to come from me on this brand, but for now I'll just say, check them out for sure.
Like I said, natural hair takes patience, and it takes love. And learning to love it can require vast amounts of patience. But if you're in it for the long haul and honestly want to restore health to your hair, you'll eventually come to believe what I do -- going natural rocks! And it could be one of the best decisions you've ever made.
ME: Anyone else having problems with natural hair? Personally I think it's easier than relaxed hair. What is your opinion?
The post began with this discussion:
"I am trying so hard to hang in here, but going natural really sucks. I have always had naturally long hair, however I've been relaxing it for more than 25 years. In recent years, I've noticed my hair has begun to thin in the very top and around the frontal lobe. I switched from regular relaxers to mild, then eventually down to a kiddie perm. About 90 days ago, I finally made the decision to just let the relaxer go. I still have all of my long hair, but I have about 2" if new growth. I am going nuts!!! I have to wet it to comb it. I have put lots of moisturizer in it because I'm worried that it will start to break and look bad. Wearing it down is not an option so I keep it in a ponytail.
Does anyone know what else I can do with this stuff. I don't even remember what it was like to have natural hair and I have NO idea of how to care for it. I don't do wigs, but I may have to make an exception if I can't find some alternatives.
Help me someone please!!"
Help came in the form of many, many follow up comments... and now I'm happy to chime in with my two cents. Fret not -- I know you're not alone!
Just recently I got cries for help from two ladies I've known since high school. One high school classmate, Roxanne, lamented the endless detangling of her hair every day and cited that as a reason to return to relaxer. The other sent me a lengthy letter which I'll share with you.
"I am writing to tell you my sad hair story and was wondering if you can point me in the right direction.
So I've recently embarked on a my switch to non-straightened hair, i.e. no chemical processing (since about the beginning of the year). I am at an absolute loss and somewhat out of my element with this and can't seem to find a product/ (s) that does the moisturising/anti-frizzing/wet-n-go/ curl-enhancing facility. These days when I cannot make it to my hairdresser (who hails from Dom Rep and thus is a boss with the blow out), i wear my hair in a bun after shampoo and conditioner to tame it somewhat. With the blow out however by the evening or sooner depending on the humidity the style is gone and I work out at least 3x a week so it is for really special occasions now and the wet bun look prevails. This isn't professional enough for my job unfortunately and i am looking for something that allows me to just chop off the straight ends...if not immediately by the end of the year!
I can't tell u how little time i have daily to devote to my hair, which is why the processing worked prior...but i am ready to do anything to make this change happen. My mother figures that my hair has changed somewhat since she remembers curling my hair with her comb but to me it is just a wavy version to what i remember pre age 15 or so...not to mention my fancy ethnic mix that makes one side curl and the other side just about dead straight....plus i guess i don't really know how to use a comb to get those "cork-screws" she used to do :-(
let me know what you recommend since you clearly have the know on the best products
Wishing you all the best and hope to hear from you soon
Ciao,
Keisha"
To Keisha, Roxanne, and every bella who's struggling with their hair's natural texture -- remember these three basic points.
1 -- everyone's natural hair texture is different. And it changes over time, so the natural ringlets you may have had as a wee bella might just be in the past. You're going to have to learn to work with what you've got. And that may take time, trial, and error.
2 -- Natural hair SHOULD BE all about preserving your hair's health. In those moments of texture or style-inspired frustration, think of the damage your hair was experiencing due to the battery of harsh chemicals. When you reach your point of maximum frustration, try to remember why you chose to go natural in the first place.
3 -- Having said that, everything ain't for everybody. Going natural can be a rollercoaster of hair emotion, and it takes patience to teach yourself how to work with your hair texture. I'm not even gonna front like it's a piece of cake. I've had major moments of hair frustration, especially in my early days of transitioning. Seven years in, I'm delighted with my decision.
In order to avoid those feelings of angst and anger against your new natural hair, I suggest you examine your current regimen. What products are you using? Are they the same products that you used when your hair was chemically treated? Because if so, they probably won't suit your hair's needs anymore.
Keisha confessed that she's still shampooing her hair twice a week, which is fine if you have chemically processed or straight hair, but for my particular texture's needs, Lorraine Massey's no-poo method has proven to be the most effective. You should read her book, Curly Girl, as an initial education to methods for caring for your transitioning texture. Chris-Tia Donaldson's book, Thank God I'm Natural, is an even more detailed guide to caring for and maintaining natural hair and I highly recommend it as a printed resource, filled with essential information on everything from hair types and styling methods, to must-know websites and a hairdressers' guide at the back.
In terms of detangling -- it's a must. If I don't detangle, my hair starts to loc up very quickly. I try to co-wash and detangle (by combing from the bottom of my hair and going up to the root), every other day. In terms of products, expand your horizons beyond what's available in the drugstore. Unfortunately, most drugstore brands haven't quite caught on to our hair's particular needs. So that means you should look online, to companies like Miss Jessie's, Curls, Kinky Curly, and my new favorite brand, Karen's Body Beautiful. OMG their hair milk smells like HEAVEN and leaves my coils so defined, springy, and gorgeous. More to come from me on this brand, but for now I'll just say, check them out for sure.
Like I said, natural hair takes patience, and it takes love. And learning to love it can require vast amounts of patience. But if you're in it for the long haul and honestly want to restore health to your hair, you'll eventually come to believe what I do -- going natural rocks! And it could be one of the best decisions you've ever made.
ME: Anyone else having problems with natural hair? Personally I think it's easier than relaxed hair. What is your opinion?
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