Myths My Stylist Told Me??

Q

Queen_Earth

New Member
Hey guys, I went to get a weave this week and my stylist was ready to kick me out...I kept asking all types of questions and being a bit more assertive about my hair...I was trying to tell her some things and she was like that's ridiculous where did you get that from? So now I am just not so sure; I mean she should know a lot about hair cause she is a certified stylist; however,I really feel like I have learned a lot about my hair from you guys...so here are some things--agree and refute

DC are not really necessary. They are especially unnecessary more than once a month

DCing too often cause the inner strand of your hair to become weak and you don't want that

Steaming your hair is unnecessary...that is allowing the conditioner to sit on your hair for entirely too long for the reasons above

Protein conditioner should not be used for an extended period of time...after your hair gains strength stop using it

You need to clarify every time you wash your hair (no more than once a week and at least once every two weeks)..if you don't you will get a white film over your scalp

The only purpose CONDITIONER (not moisturizer/sorry) has is to make the hair more manageable...therefore you just leave it in for a little while (no more than 5 minutes) and rinse out

There was more b.u.t that's all I can think of right now...she wasn't trying to hear anything I had to say

Everyone has a predetermined length their hair can grow due to the amount of abuse their hair and scalp suffered as a child
 
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Run in the opposite direction and definitely get a new stylist. I'm sure also thinks if you trim you ends your hair will grow as well.

Run, Forest, run!!
 
i'd say she's right bout too much protein....there has to be a balance......i think thats why some reconstructors say to use once a week. my hair becomes to "hard", "dry" so to speak. the rest i would go by what my hair feels.
 
blah...blah...blah...and what does HER hair look like?? Is she WL with all her "great" advice?

I learned that only my hair can tell me what my hair needs.:perplexed
 
She's right about too much protein.....but dcing, I don't know cuz I never dc and my hair still grew the same, and now I dc, my hair seems to be the same, if not a lil bit better, but I still think it's good to dc once a week and depending on how much you use heat.....I'm a heat fiend....but the moisturizer part....NOOOOOOOOO, what sense does it make to put moisturizer in and then rinse??? Even the bottle doesn't say that, that's what conditioners are for!!!!! I never steamed my hair, so I don't know....and the clarifying shampoo---no, once a month is all I need....sometimes not even that, but someone's hair could be different though.......so I agree on one thing, but disagree on the rest........stick to what YOU know......and if they want to listen, then I suggest u need to find another stylist, if u want......
 
Queen_Earth said:
Hey guys, I went to get a weave this week and my stylist was ready to kick me out...I kept asking all types of questions and being a bit more assertive about my hair...I was trying to tell her some things and she was like that's ridiculous where did you get that from? So now I am just not so sure; I mean she should know a lot about hair cause she is a certified stylist; however,I really feel like I have learned a lot about my hair from you guys...so here are some things--agree and refute

DC are not really necessary. They are especially unnecessary more than once a month

DCing too often cause the inner strand of your hair to become weak and you don't want that

Steaming your hair is unnecessary...that is allowing the conditioner to sit on your hair for entirely too long for the reasons above

Protein conditioner should not be used for an extended period of time...after your hair gains strength stop using it

You need to clarify every time you wash your hair (no more than once a week and at least once every two weeks)..if you don't you will get a white film over your scalp

The only purpose moisturizer has is to make the hair more manageable...therefore you just leave it in for a little while (no more than 5 minutes) and rinse out

There was more b.u.t that's all I can think of right now...she wasn't trying to hear anything I had to say

Everyone has a predetermined length their hair can grow due to the amount of abuse their hair and scalp suffered as a child
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Just because she has a license doesn't mean she knows how to take care of hair. It just means that if she jacks your hair up she can be sued. If you love your hair don't go back to her. She'll have you as bold as Kojak.
 
:giggle: I dont see the problem..half of her list is actually right.

-DCing too often cause the inner strand of your hair to become weak and you don't want that. TRUE, tis the reason why I dont pre-poo for 5 days and DC with heat for more than 10 minutes...its highly overrated IMO and can further damage your hair.

-Steaming your hair is unnecessary...that is allowing the conditioner to sit on your hair for entirely too long for the reasons above..Somewhat TRUE, i agree that you shouldn't overcondition your hair.

-Protein conditioner should not be used for an extended period of time...after your hair gains strength stop using it. TRUE, hence protein and moisture overload.

-You need to clarify every time you wash your hair (no more than once a week and at least once every two weeks)..if you don't you will get a white film over your scalp..TRUE, i have gotten that nasty white film on my head and started back to washing/clarifying every 2-3 washes.

-The only purpose moisturizer has is to make the hair more manageable...therefore you just leave it in for a little while (no more than 5 minutes) and rinse out...Somewhat TRUE if your moisturizer is oil based thus weighing down your hair, making a greasy mess with build-up and breakage, etc....A good, lite moisturizing leave-in should suffice for light, bouncy hair or wash out the heavy one.

Everyone's hair is different of course but for ME, these tips were on point.
 
MizzBrown said:
:giggle: I dont see the problem..half of her list is actually right.

-DCing too often cause the inner strand of your hair to become weak and you don't want that. TRUE, tis the reason why I dont pre-poo for 5 days and DC with heat for more than 10 minutes...its highly overrated IMO and can further damage your hair.

-Steaming your hair is unnecessary...that is allowing the conditioner to sit on your hair for entirely too long for the reasons above..Somewhat TRUE, i agree that you shouldn't overcondition your hair.

-Protein conditioner should not be used for an extended period of time...after your hair gains strength stop using it. TRUE, hence protein and moisture overload.

-You need to clarify every time you wash your hair (no more than once a week and at least once every two weeks)..if you don't you will get a white film over your scalp..TRUE, i have gotten that nasty white film on my head and started back to washing/clarifying every 2-3 washes.

-The only purpose moisturizer has is to make the hair more manageable...therefore you just leave it in for a little while (no more than 5 minutes) and rinse out...Somewhat TRUE if your moisturizer is oil based thus weighing down your hair, making a greasy mess with build-up and breakage, etc....A good, lite moisturizing leave-in should suffice for light, bouncy hair or wash out the heavy one.

Everyone's hair is different of course but for ME, these tips were on point.
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WHAT SHE SAID!!!
 
"certified stylist" does not equal "expert on hair CARE", it just means she can probably make it LOOK good.

that first one is absolutely absurd. my hair flourished when i DC'd 1-2x a week.
 
Queen_Earth said:
Hey guys, I went to get a weave this week and my stylist was ready to kick me out...I kept asking all types of questions and being a bit more assertive about my hair...I was trying to tell her some things and she was like that's ridiculous where did you get that from? So now I am just not so sure; I mean she should know a lot about hair cause she is a certified stylist; however,I really feel like I have learned a lot about my hair from you guys...so here are some things--agree and refute

DC are not really necessary. They are especially unnecessary more than once a month Depends on the person's hair and the state it's in. For some people, they're not necessary at all...but others need them.

DCing too often cause the inner strand of your hair to become weak and you don't want that Overmoisturizing is bad in general. So yeah, if you DC too much then your strands will become weak and break. Everyone needs a balance.

Steaming your hair is unnecessary that is allowing the conditioner to sit on your hair for entirely too long for the reasons above Well steaming works for some people because they really need the conditioner to penetrate. For others it's overmoisturizing, it depends on the head.

Protein conditioner should not be used for an extended period of time...after your hair gains strength stop using it Too much protein isn't good either so she's right, stop using it when you don't need it anymore.

You need to clarify every time you wash your hair (no more than once a week and at least once every two weeks)..if you don't you will get a white film over your scalp Clarifying schedules depend on the person's hair, how many products they use, and how often they shampoo/cleanse their hair and scalp. If you use a lot of products or cowash and don't rinse out the conditioner well, then yes you can get a film over your scalp. Me, I rinse almost everyday and rarely shampoo/clarify. So it really just depends on your hair, what you use, and what you want to do. I personally wouldn't clarify every wash if you wash once a week and don't use a lot of product.

The only purpose moisturizer has is to make the hair more manageable...therefore you just leave it in for a little while (no more than 5 minutes) and rinse out I personally think moisturizers are just another marketing ploy. But like someone else said, you rinse out conditioners, not moisturizers. I think most people find that their hair is more manageable because they leave the moisturizer in.

There was more b.u.t that's all I can think of right now...she wasn't trying to hear anything I had to say

Everyone has a predetermined length their hair can grow due to the amount of abuse their hair and scalp suffered as a child Um I don't know where she got this from. Obviously, everyone has a predetermined anagen phase that lasts on average 2-6 years. The amount of length you gain in that period depends on other factors like growth rate and haircare.
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What your stylist said isn't all that wrong, it's just that she shouldn't speak in absolutes. Everyone's hair is unique and requires different things. Learn what your hair needs and act accordingly. You may need to DC often or steam your hair or moisturize, if so, do it.

I'd be more worried about her attitude. Even if she thought what you said was ridiculous, she should still take the time to address your desires, concerns, and any information you present pertaining to your hair. If she continues to brush you off like that, I'd consider changing stylists. She doesn't know your hair as well as you know it and she shouldn't treat you in a condescending or patronizing way.
 
Queen_Earth said:
Hey guys, I went to get a weave this week and my stylist was ready to kick me out...I kept asking all types of questions and being a bit more assertive about my hair...I was trying to tell her some things and she was like that's ridiculous where did you get that from? So now I am just not so sure; I mean she should know a lot about hair cause she is a certified stylist; however,I really feel like I have learned a lot about my hair from you guys...so here are some things--agree and refute

DC are not really necessary. They are especially unnecessary more than once a month

DCing too often cause the inner strand of your hair to become weak and you don't want that

Steaming your hair is unnecessary...that is allowing the conditioner to sit on your hair for entirely too long for the reasons above

Protein conditioner should not be used for an extended period of time...after your hair gains strength stop using it

You need to clarify every time you wash your hair (no more than once a week and at least once every two weeks)..if you don't you will get a white film over your scalp

The only purpose moisturizer has is to make the hair more manageable...therefore you just leave it in for a little while (no more than 5 minutes) and rinse out

There was more b.u.t that's all I can think of right now...she wasn't trying to hear anything I had to say

Everyone has a predetermined length their hair can grow due to the amount of abuse their hair and scalp suffered as a child
Click to expand...



:lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen:

UM....:look: Yea, Right....
 
Most of what she said I had heard before and makes sense. There are some ladies on this site with lovely hair who do not DC very often at all. It all depends on what your hair needs at any given time. I for one don't DC for more than 30 mins because I don't like my hair feeling mushy and I use protein for a specific length of time (1x every week for maybe 4-6 weeks if I'm having a specific problem) to strengthen it and then I stop. Protein overload should be avoided. It's the last bit about predetermined length being conditioned by the amount of abuse your hair suffered as a child that I'd never heard about before. I would think that once you started taking better care of your hair and stop abusing it that your hair would grow longer. I'm sure many of the women on this site would testify to that.
 
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baddison said:
blah...blah...blah...and what does HER hair look like?? Is she WL with all her "great" advice?

I learned that only my hair can tell me what my hair needs.:perplexed
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I second that. How long was her hair and what condition was it in? I'm dying to know!:lachen:
 
A lot those statements don't apply to my hair but that doesn't mean someone else wouldn't benefit from them. I just know what my hair likes and does not like.

My biggest concern is her attitude towards you. Did she make those statements because she thought those would be the best practices for your hair? Or, was she making general hair care statements. In my opinion, since you were paying for her one-on-one time she should have been saying what was best for your hair and only your hair. She can debate with her colleagues.
 
Thanks guys!!!! Some clarifying points:

I meant to say you should leave the conditioner on for a little bit of time cause its only purpose is to make the hair more manageable-not moisturizer--I was confused because she asked me what was the purpose of conditioner and I thought it was to moisturize but she said not the purpose is just to make it more manageable

The reason I first stopped going to her in the first place was because when she went to a new shop they used different products and my hair felt like dung...plus I had continuous dry scalp and hair and that didn't make sense when I was getting my hair done every two weeks...so therefore I only go to her for my Sew-Ins now

It all started because I told her I was going to come with my hair already washed, conditioned, moisturized and she could just braid me up--I did this because I am in love with the products I use and for the past two months my hair has improved-IMHO---so she's like OMG why is all this oil in your hair (I had nourishing creme in it as a leave in, and sealed with coconut, jojoba, and a little castor oil)--so I told her about protecting my ends and wanting to make sure my hair was properly prepared for the weave,,so she is like where did you get that from-so I told her all of the things I had learned from here and that's how it started

I hadn't noticed before b.u.t her hair is nothing to envy; I thought her hair looked to be thinning since the last time I saw her--her pony was kinda see through and her hair is about neck length-maybe a little longer

Yes, the statements for the most parts were general and when I told her that does she remember how my hair and scalp used to be so dry and now I really don't have that problem she said----have I EVER sat you under the dryer with a conditioner? (Me-NO) have I EVER gave you a protein treatment or anything else? (Me-NO) Because it's unnecessary!!! (Me- Pouty face) Her- and you have made a Lot of growth in my opinion since I been taking care of your hair ------In my mind I am thinking yes, I have been coming to you for 5 years ( In never BCed) and I am still not APL maybe I need to take the next steps to get my hair where it needs to be , plus I had dry hair and scalp and now I don't-something I was able to fix in 2 months that you couldn't fix in 5 years---She wasn't rude exactly, she just thought she knew more about hair than me and was trying to "school me"
---at first what she was saying made sense and then I looked at the curling wax she used before she flat ironed my hair and noticed the first ingredient was --petroleum and before she dried she didn't put any protection on my hair--then I remembered she NEVER does and then I thought to know maybe just maybe she was wrong...so I just wanted other feedback
 
bump---she also said most conditioners have a version of lye (some long scientific named ingredient-cant remember which one) in them which is also why you shouldn't leave them in too long
 
I believe a lot of what she said is true....but like others on here have said, it really all depends on the person and their individial hair needs. I don't think its ever a good thing to discount something because it does or doesn't work for you.
 
MizzBrown said:
:giggle: I dont see the problem..half of her list is actually right.

-DCing too often cause the inner strand of your hair to become weak and you don't want that. TRUE, tis the reason why I dont pre-poo for 5 days and DC with heat for more than 10 minutes...its highly overrated IMO and can further damage your hair.

-Steaming your hair is unnecessary...that is allowing the conditioner to sit on your hair for entirely too long for the reasons above..Somewhat TRUE, i agree that you shouldn't overcondition your hair.

-Protein conditioner should not be used for an extended period of time...after your hair gains strength stop using it. TRUE, hence protein and moisture overload.

-You need to clarify every time you wash your hair (no more than once a week and at least once every two weeks)..if you don't you will get a white film over your scalp..TRUE, i have gotten that nasty white film on my head and started back to washing/clarifying every 2-3 washes.

-The only purpose moisturizer has is to make the hair more manageable...therefore you just leave it in for a little while (no more than 5 minutes) and rinse out...Somewhat TRUE if your moisturizer is oil based thus weighing down your hair, making a greasy mess with build-up and breakage, etc....A good, lite moisturizing leave-in should suffice for light, bouncy hair or wash out the heavy one.

Everyone's hair is different of course but for ME, these tips were on point.
Click to expand...

@ the first bolded: FOR ME DCing has been one of the major reasons why my hair is growing so succesfully, but at the same time I make sure my protein/moisture always ON POINT (come to think of it I need to henna sometime soon :yep:)


@ the second bold: SO TRUE! I have/had acne on my face, and I read somewhere that if you have it on your face you probably have it on your scalp (which would probably explain why I got such severe burns while relaxing). Obviously I can't put the topical acne treamtment on my scalp, so shampooing it twice a week has been really beneficial. (No more sensitive spots on my scalp!... Spots I suspected was a pimple, sorry if thats tmi! :grin:)
 
Queen_Earth said:
DC are not really necessary. They are especially unnecessary more than once a month. My hair retains length with a protein/moisture balanced conditioner, with a cap. Quickie condish simply does not work as well.

DCing too often cause the inner strand of your hair to become weak and you don't want that The key is a protein/moisture balanced conditioner. I have slept in mine overnight, by accident, rinsed and detangled after. No weakening.

Protein conditioner should not be used for an extended period of time...after your hair gains strength stop using it. I have been using protein/moisture since August. Hair went from chin to SL
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Your stylist is dead-*** wrong.
 
bri505--The pics in my siggy are pretty accurate....once my hair dries it is about mid neck...once pressed I am between SL and APL

I think yall are right...I just really have to figure out my personal proper protein moisture balance
 
I don't agree with most of what your stylist said:

(1) Overconditioning is something that can be obtained by doing it almost every day because you are messing with the natural production of oils in your sebauceous glands. However, it is generally claimed that you can condition every other day without harm(I have because I am living at the gym every 6-7 days and I am not drying out my hair again). It is possible that overconditioning can lead to product buildup on the scalp.

(2) The main thing advocated here and on another board is balance maintained between protein and moisture. It depends on your hair type. I use lite protein every week and my hair has grown and is healthy. Some people say "Oh, I use it every 6 weeks or bi-weekly", and it works for them. DIFFERENT STROKES FOR DIFFERENT FOLKS. With moisture, you don't want to overuse it, you have to listen to your hair that what is important in the hair journey.

(3) Lie#300: If you are deep conditioning the time with heat is advocated for 15-30 minutes to open the hair shaft and nourish it. I have heard people say deep condition once a month--well, now that it is okay, but hmm.... I don't agree with putting it on for only 5 minutes, you are washing precious ingredients down the drain and wasting your money (unless you are co-washing).

At first, I thought someone was wrong when they said to run from her, but if she doesn't agree with deep conditioning or treatment/ it is hard for you to maintain what you are growing. So, I would look into another hairdresser that believes in deep conditioning. Hairdressers are not all-knowing else we wouldn't have these boards. It is almost you have to take what they say with a grain of salt.

ALSO, HOW LONG IS THIS WOMAN'S HAIR? DOES IT EVEN LOOK GOOD? I am concerned for you hair well-being.
 
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Queen_Earth said:
bump---she also said most conditioners have a version of lye (some long scientific named ingredient-cant remember which one) in them which is also why you shouldn't leave them in too long
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:look: i think she is confusing conditioner with relaxer. get the name of that "long scientific ingredient" from her and someone on LHCF will tell you what it does, where it's found, and all that other stuff in less than 3 minutes :lachen:
 
Queen_Earth said:
I meant to say you should leave the conditioner on for a little bit of time cause its only purpose is to make the hair more manageable-not moisturizer--I was confused because she asked me what was the purpose of conditioner and I thought it was to moisturize but she said not the purpose is just to make it more manageable

Yes, the statements for the most parts were general and when I told her that does she remember how my hair and scalp used to be so dry and now I really don't have that problem she said----have I EVER sat you under the dryer with a conditioner? (Me-NO) have I EVER gave you a protein treatment or anything else? (Me-NO) Because it's unnecessary!!! (Me- Pouty face) Her- and you have made a Lot of growth in my opinion since I been taking care of your hair
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conditioner does moisturize...it becomes manageable because it's moisturized...

and if you corrected all the dry scalp problems in 2 months when she couldnt do it in 5 years, you need to drop her with the quickness.
 
Queen_Earth said:
Thanks guys!!!! Some clarifying points:

I meant to say you should leave the conditioner on for a little bit of time cause its only purpose is to make the hair more manageable-not moisturizer--I was confused because she asked me what was the purpose of conditioner and I thought it was to moisturize but she said not the purpose is just to make it more manageable
Yes conditioner makes hair more manageable...because it moisturizes and strengthens it, thus making it easier to style. Frankly, it sounds like she doesn't really know about the science of haircare.

-In my mind I am thinking yes, I have been coming to you for 5 years ( In never BCed) and I am still not APL maybe I need to take the next steps to get my hair where it needs to be , plus I had dry hair and scalp and now I don't-something I was able to fix in 2 months that you couldn't fix in 5 years---She wasn't rude exactly, she just thought she knew more about hair than me and was trying to "school me"
About the bolded, why listen to her when you know what to do for your hair? You are able to take care of it, so just do that. Don't let her throw you off course.

---at first what she was saying made sense and then I looked at the curling wax she used before she flat ironed my hair and noticed the first ingredient was --petroleum and before she dried she didn't put any protection on my hair--then I remembered she NEVER does and then I thought to know maybe just maybe she was wrong...so I just wanted other feedback
She flat ironed your hair before she weaved it? Huh? And with curling wax and no heat protectant? I don't know about you but my hair couldn't handle that.
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Sweetie, go with your first instinct. You know how to take care of your hair and what it needs. She can't tell you more about your hair than you can. Like I said earlier, I'd be worried about her attitude towards me as a paying customer, and the fact that she doesn't seem to be able to adjust to your needs as an individual client.

You've learned a good lesson. Keep doing what you're doing but keep the information to yourself. Most stylists will fight you tooth and nail about the haircare practices you may learn here. Unless they come at you with a good attitude and real explanations for what they're saying don't pay them any mind.

Keep doing what you're doing because it's obviously working. ANd don't let her take credit for your hair's improvement when you're the one doing all the work.
 
Queen_Earth said:
bump---she also said most conditioners have a version of lye (some long scientific named ingredient-cant remember which one) in them which is also why you shouldn't leave them in too long
Click to expand...


Most hair products have sodium hydroxide in them, and yes that's lye. But, it's a very small concentration to balance the ph of the the product. You need way way more in order to relax your hair. There are many more worse ingredients to be worried about (DMDM Hydantoin, parabens, etc. etc.).
 
msa said:
Sweetie, go with your first instinct. You know how to take care of your hair and what it needs. She can't tell you more about your hair than you can. Like I said earlier, I'd be worried about her attitude towards me as a paying customer, and the fact that she doesn't seem to be able to adjust to your needs as an individual client.

You've learned a good lesson. Keep doing what you're doing but keep the information to yourself. Most stylists will fight you tooth and nail about the haircare practices you may learn here. Unless they come at you with a good attitude and real explanations for what they're saying don't pay them any mind.

Keep doing what you're doing because it's obviously working. ANd don't let her take credit for your hair's improvement when you're the one doing all the work.
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ITA...I don't think that everything she said was awful, but I disagree with most of her comments for my hair type. Stylists are defensive about their trade, so keep your info to yourself and tell her what you want her to do, not the other way around. I guess the only thing that she said that would have upset me was the part about ther terminal length.

I once had a stylist tell me I could never have long hair as an adult, so I stopped going to her immediately. It takes enough faith and hard work to believe that our hair can and will grow without having a doubter crushing your hope every step of the way. :nono:
 
msa said:
---at first what she was saying made sense and then I looked at the curling wax she used before she flat ironed my hair and noticed the first ingredient was --petroleum and before she dried she didn't put any protection on my hair--then I remembered she NEVER does and then I thought to know maybe just maybe she was wrong...so I just wanted other feedback
She flat ironed your hair before she weaved it? Huh? And with curling wax and no heat protectant? I don't know about you but my hair couldn't handle that..
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No she didn't flat iron my hair before she weaved it--I would have def not allowed that...she flat ironed the small part that was left to cover the track...I had prepped my hair so it wasn't as bad as it could have been; however, I def was concerned
 
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