My mother told me don't do it.

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

Today was the second day I did a cw. After doing it I rolled it in the white cottonish/pillowy rollers and the effect in my sig is what I get. I happened to mention to my mom today that I was wearing my hair this way today and that it felt good. I had barely gotten my words out of my mouth before my mom emphatically said Dont do it! She advised that she had worn natural styles for years (and knew of people who did) and people in the workplace couldn't handle it. She said that "others" were not able to deal with us in our natural state and that I should conform so I don't stir any waves. She said to just do the natural thing on the weekends because If I continue to wear my hair like this it could affect my job down the line. She said other things but you get the gist.

I'm still going to wear my hair like this but I guess I just needed to vent. I really don't believe it will affect anything, at least not in the type of office I work in. But it still just annoyed the ish out of me. I can't wait for my hair to grow out because I am really going to be rockin this style buhwaahahahah!!!!!

Has anyone else encountered negativity from a family member? Did you care?

 

[MrsQueeny]

Girl my family thought I was crazy too. But you know what, it is your hair and you have to deal with it, not them. You will be surprised at how your co-workers will probably love your hair. I know when I was in the guard and did a BC and went to work with a twa, everyone loved it. This is in NM too. Let your work speak for itself and don't worry about your hair. It is the hair you were born with and that GOD gave you. Be proud and have confidence and it will shine through. Q

 

[Legend]

Girl my family thought I was crazy too. But you know what, it is your hair and you have to deal with it, not them. You will be surprised at how your co-workers will probably love your hair. I know when I was in the guard and did a BC and went to work with a twa, everyone loved it. This is in NM too. Let your work speak for itself and don't worry about your hair. It is the hair you were born with and that GOD gave you. Be proud and have confidence and it will shine through. Q

ITA! Bre~Bre, don't let others (and family members can be the worse critics) tell you what is appropriate. I have this same issue at times because I love to wear these super-curly bouffant styles as well that my sister says looks frizzy and my co-worker are lying when they give me compliments. I ignore her and keep steppin'. Girl, work your style in confidence and you will shine! I think the style in your sig. is lovely! Nice curls!

 

[hopeful]

Your hair looks pretty. The curls in the second pic:. My fam's scared to say something to me about my natural hair, (cuz they don't wanna get told off) but I don't get compliments like I used to when I had relaxed hair. It's okay though cuz in a year or so when I'm a BAA, Killer Puff, Huge Twist-Out wearing chick, they all gon' be sweatin' me and I'm gonna be like:.

 

[EbonyRose]

I don't know your total conversation but IMO it didn't sound like your mom was trying to be mean (but then again, i don't know your mom or your situation) it seemed that she was concerned and not wanting you to go through the nonsense that she did. i didn't see anything about her dissing your choice or downing the look of your hair....
but in the end, you have to run your own race....

 

[Super_Hero_Girl]

I've faced a lot of negativity from my family, you'd think I killed someone. My dad and I had a horrible arugement over it once and didn't talk for days. And I see a lot of negativity towards natural hair in disguise on hair boards (no comment). It angered me at first, I just ignore it now. I love my hair so, it's their problem not mine. It's a shame that black people are so afraid of that their negro hair will show their true blackness and don't what white people to see it. Funny thing is, white people don't even care. Go on, were you lil fro with pride!

 

[RainbowCurls]

I don't know your total conversation but IMO it didn't sound like your mom was trying to be mean (but then again, i don't know your mom or your situation) it seemed that she was concerned and not wanting you to go through the nonsense that she did. i didn't see anything about her dissing your choice or downing the look of your hair....
but in the end, you have to run your own race....

ITA.
It seems like she was only looking out for you.

The people with the attitudes about natural hair are the ones your mum used to work with.

 

[coolhandlulu]

... and people in the workplace couldn't handle it. She said that "others" were not able to deal with us in our natural state and that I should conform so I don't stir any waves.

IT'S JUST HAIR!!!!!! It's their problem if they can't deal with YOUR hair. I could see if you were preaching on your job and your mom cautioning you to not cause any waves, but come one now...it's 2006 and we have to tip toe around others and abuse our hair to make others feel comfortable? I don't think so. This is like black on black crime. We are doing this to ourselves...no one else is to blame.

 

[blackbarbie]

I think your mom was just being concerned, that's all, but I understand your frustration. Heck, I'm not even natural and I kind of had a similar incident. (this happened when i was considering it thought)

The very first time I stretched to 16 weeks, I had done a twistout and my mom and stepfather came to visit. I had pulled my hair back to cook by the time they had gotten here. My dad got in and asked me "what's wrong with your hair? Go on over to your brother's shop and let him do it." I explained to him that it's no different than my mom's hair looks every week BEFORE she straightens it. Told him that if she took it down from the braids she has them in while they dry, that's what it would look like and it's no big deal....Then I went through the big explanation with him of me trying to stretch my relaxer, yada, yada, keep the chemicals out of my hair so often, etc. and he was like "oh."..........

But I think your mom was just speaking from a personal point of view b/c she has seen first hand how people react to people with natural hair. In my experience, any time someone encounters someone with natural hair, they look at them as "pro-black", or "fight the power", kind of folks and it's an assumption made out of ignorance that's all.

 

[1QTPie]

Yeh, a lot of us have to or HAD to deal with negative comments. Even though it's your mother, you have learn to not put that much weight into her comments about anything about you.

If I were you, I wouldn't care what she has to say. You have to be confident. I live in DC and 50% of the professional women in this area have nappy/natural/kinky/curly/poofy hair. If a job doesn't accept you for who and how you are, then why would you want to work there?

 

[Cheleigh]

Um, you're right.

It won't affect anything.

This isn't the 1960s, and most women are not wearing their natural hair to show they are PanAfrican, or lesbian, or a direct descendant of Queen Amina.

No white person has ever asked me what I'm going to do with my hair. I am a marketing professional and I work with a variety of clients and stakeholders. Some black folks want to know if I'm going to loc it. None of those black folks happen to be my direct peers or executive staff, because they all love it or have natural hair themselves. Natural hair is not an alternative hairstyle to anyone, except maybe some black folks. My hair is what it is, and it does what it does. I will say that the overwhelming majority of people who know me love my new do. Of course, a lot of that has to do with how happy I clearly am to be wearing it. Most disappointment actually came from people who were sad that I cut my apl hair, and that's understandable.

 

[CarefreeinChicago]

it is funny you mention this ...yesterday i wore my first twist out to work for the first time and my hair is big and my co work said your natural hair is poffy just like your pony tail i fell out laughing...my friend said he likes my natural hair so that gave me a little boost on my way to the train i still get good morning smiles from men and a few she need a perm looks but i just hold my head up this is what grows out of my head ..........Strutting in the CHI

 

[ThickHair]

I will say it, family and other black folks have more problem with black folks hair more so than the others.

 

[so1913]

I work in a corporate office, finance group, I interviewed with my hair in it's natural state purposely to feel out the mindset of the group. I wear my poof EVERY DAY at work, and I dare someone to tell me different. Yes, on the weekends I may wear it in a "wilder" style because I don't feel "wild" relaxed or natural is appropriate for MY work environment I'm in, but I dare someone to tell me what grows out of my head natural is inappropriate for anything. If your hair is "neatly" done, regardless if it's natural or not, then it should be acceptable. Seems to me like the people that question natural hair styles in the workplace most are black folks.

 

[CinnaMocha]

I haven't worn my natrual hair for years, but I think there is nothing wrong with wearing it in its natural state. You happen to have more versatility with it being natural. Do you and have fun with your hair. It looks wonderful, btw....let me have some of that fullness (you couldn't tell me anything).

 

[planodiva]

Oh yeah it is kinda drama....

Well my grandma thought I acted differently because my hair was twisted to tight to my scalp in her opinion and she kept asking "when yo hair gone go back normal"

My parents strongly encouraged me to perm my hair after college as no one would hire me with natural hair and at my first job my boss actually said my hair needed prayer.

Needless to say I didn't stay there much longer after that comment

 

[HoneyDew]

Bre your hair looks cute like that!!!

I have gotten comments like that years ago when i mentioned my interest in wearing my hair naturally.

but, honestly, these days, our natural hair seems to be more accepted. At least within the younger generation.

I think your mother's opinion is a bit "back in the day".

More and more people actually prefer natural hair and that is a wonderful thing!!!!

 

[hopeful]

Oh yeah it is kinda drama....

Well my grandma thought I acted differently because my hair was twisted to tight to my scalp in her opinion and she kept asking "when yo hair gone go back normal"

My parents strongly encouraged me to perm my hair after college as no one would hire me with natural hair and at my first job my boss actually said my hair needed prayer.

Needless to say I didn't stay there much longer after that comment

No he/she didn't! The nerve. Glad you kept it moving.

 

[kandyland]

I will say it, family and other black folks have more problem with black folks hair more so than the others.

I TOTALLY agree with this. The only nasty comment I've ever gotten in my 2 years of being natural was from a black guy. Black folks tearing down black folks....nothing new.

 

[~*~ShopAholic~*~]

Just wanted to say it loods nice on ya, I don't see nothing wrong w/it. Reminds me of a rod-set.

Today was the second day I did a cw. After doing it I rolled it in the white cottonish/pillowy rollers and the effect in my sig is what I get. I happened to mention to my mom today that I was wearing my hair this way today and that it felt good. I had barely gotten my words out of my mouth before my mom emphatically said Dont do it! She advised that she had worn natural styles for years (and knew of people who did) and people in the workplace couldn't handle it. She said that "others" were not able to deal with us in our natural state and that I should conform so I don't stir any waves. She said to just do the natural thing on the weekends because If I continue to wear my hair like this it could affect my job down the line. She said other things but you get the gist.

I'm still going to wear my hair like this but I guess I just needed to vent. I really don't believe it will affect anything, at least not in the type of office I work in. But it still just annoyed the ish out of me. I can't wait for my hair to grow out because I am really going to be rockin this style buhwaahahahah!!!!!

Has anyone else encountered negativity from a family member? Did you care?

 

[DDTexlaxed]

I think yr mom was just worried U would get the same negativity she got. I think your hair looks great. So rock on, sista!

 

[inthepink]

My mother absolutely hates that I wear my hair curly. We don't live in the same state so when I go home to visit, she constantly pushes me to get my hair "done" meaning straightened. Sometimes I did it to please her and sometimes I did it for myself (needed a trim). But I'm not going to worry about what she thinks anymore. It's my hair and I'm going to do with it what I want.

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

I think yr mom was just worried U would get the same negativity she got. I think your hair looks great. So rock on, sista!

Someone else in this thread had the same line of thought and I know that it's true. I think that in the earlier years people weren't as open to it so there was pressure to conform. I know that there is still pressure to conform but not at my job. I briefly talked to her a few days ago and she saw it yesterday for the first time. She said it looks nice, couldn't tell if she really meant it though . But she did say that she didn't know how the "others" (you know who I mean) would take it so she was just concerned.

This situation aside I just think it's sad that people have to be concerned about styling their hair in it's natural state. Society is very twisted. Even I still deal with hair issues. Sometimes I feel that my hair is too nappy. But by joining this site and really taking care of my hair I am learning to fall in love with my hair and realize just how special it is.

 

[DDTexlaxed]

I like how U got that look in your siggy. I have yet to try to flat iron or try any other style other than a wash n go. I am still a natural styling newby and I'm determined to be successful at keeping my hair healthy and thriving. I'm also thankful to the ladies here for their styling and growth tips.

 

[divya]

My mother and father love to see my hair curly. My mother has been natural for years, a little bush and my father loves it that way. I have curly hair naturally, and still wear it curly though texturized. My parents love it that way and even say that i should go natural at some point. Most of my family -immediate and extended- love natural hair.

Bre Bre, wear you hair with the curls. It looks lovely. Let those people on the job think what they want. Our hair is beautiful naturally. Who dont like it, suck salt.

 

[Isis]

I will say it, family and other black folks have more problem with black folks hair more so than the others.

This is true. Bizarre but true.