My mother argued me down that my hair is gonna fall out if I wash it weekly(rant!!!)

*ElleB

*ElleB

New Member
Man, if I was light-skinned I would have turned bright red!!! I then tried to explain to her, why it's not (calmly, might I add) and she yelled at me, "That is for WHITE FOLKS!!!" Then she was like "Go ahead, and watch it fall right out!"

I mean everytime I talk hair or just mention something having to do with hair, or buy a product, she gets all snooty and shakes her head like I'm an idiot!!

It is soo frustrated.....Today she asked me to blow her hair out, and OMG, I love my momma but it was a mess! It was dirty, and breakin all which a ways, dry....And She was like "I need to wash it" and I was like, yea, "I shouldnt even be blowing it out with it dirty" and she snapped at me " Look i don't give a damn about hair, ok!? I am such and such years old, I don't care!" and I was "When you start pulling it out, then you'll care..." then she said...." THen I'll just go get a WIG!:lol: " I'm sorry I had to laugh at that, even tho I was madd.

But last week she was lookin at my hair and was like "Lookin at your hair, I need to do something to mine."

My mother is a character, but I'm not saying a word to her about hair NO MORE! I'm just gonna care for my hair to get it to where i want and shut up about it!
 
Girl, you know how mamas are. You can't tell them anything because they think they know everything. When she sees you swinging your waist length hair then she'll listen to you!
 
Weellll...you know that weekly washing doesn't harm the hair, but rather, does a TREMDOUS amount of good...

That's all you can do is just keep taking care of your hair...you know what works for you and what doesn't work for you. The proof is in the pudding!

I know it gets hard explaining things to ppl who don't really know better! :lol: But you know we understand on this site!
 
*ElleB said:
Man, if I was light-skinned I would have turned bright red!!! I then tried to explain to her, why it's not (calmly, might I add) and she yelled at me, "That is for WHITE FOLKS!!!" Then she was like "Go ahead, and watch it fall right out!"

I mean everytime I talk hair or just mention something having to do with hair, or buy a product, she gets all snooty and shakes her head like I'm an idiot!!

It is soo frustrated.....Today she asked me to blow her hair out, and OMG, I love my momma but it was a mess! It was dirty, and breakin all which a ways, dry....And She was like "I need to wash it" and I was like, yea, "I shouldnt even be blowing it out with it dirty" and she snapped at me " Look i don't give a damn about hair, ok!? I am such and such years old, I don't care!" and I was "When you start pulling it out, then you'll care..." then she said...." THen I'll just go get a WIG!:lol: " I'm sorry I had to laugh at that, even tho I was madd.

But last week she was lookin at my hair and was like "Lookin at your hair, I need to do something to mine."

My mother is a character, but I'm not saying a word to her about hair NO MORE! I'm just gonna care for my hair to get it to where i want and shut up about it!
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Honey, I know the feeling. My mother hit me with that over the weekend. But you have to put yourself in their shoes. We were there some odd years ago when we didn't know any better. If it wasn't for the hair clubs, we would still be doing the same things that was taught and passed down from generation to generation, and at their age, some really don't take an interest like we do.

You have to show them instead of trying to interrupt with reason, because it's going to be a long haul, trust, I know. When they start to see how good your hair is doing, that's when they'll start asking the questions and will be ready to believe.
 
Re: My mother argued me down that my hair is gonna fall out if I wash it weekly(rant!

It's not only mothers. My step-father told my SIL that she has psychological problems because she washes her hair every day. I decided not to tell him that I wash mine every day, too. :look:
 
You know you're doing the right thing. Also, I want to add another dimension you may not have thought of...your mother may be jealous of your hair. For her to say she doesn't care about hair is a lie, if she didn't care she wouldn't even feel the need for a wig if her hair got really damaged like she said. Maybe she's frustrated about the state of her own hair and takes it out verbally on you. What I've done with my mother is to SHOW & PROVE! She has now seen the light and I've got her washing weekly and using surge. :)
 
:lol: I lived through that for the first year being on the board, every time I mentioned 'The Gurls', I got the eye roll. Since things have started to turning around and I implement many of the things on HER when I do her hair...she's ASKING ME about product recommendations and have I learned anything new this week?!

ETA: The very lady who argued with me about washing my hair once a week (let alone daily), the same one who would wash every two or three weeks now wakes up first thing Saturday morning and is doing her hair EVERY week. Said her hair grew faster dirty....now she knows otherwise...now if I could just keep her from relaxing every 5 weeks....
 
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Re: My mother argued me down that my hair is gonna fall out if I wash it weekly(rant!

Cichelle said:
It's not only mothers. My step-father told my SIL that she has psychological problems because she washes her hair every day. I decided not to tell him that I wash mine every day, too. :look:
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LOL...:lachen: :lachen: :lachen: That is funniiii!!!!!!!!11
 
I use to wash my hair like every2days and I was told the same thing, I was told I wash my hair to much and that I was acting like "Dem White Folks" but my hair is healthy and growing. I just hate for products to sit in my hair for too long because it seems my face will start to break out.
 
*ElleB said:
Man, if I was light-skinned I would have turned bright red!!! I then tried to explain to her, why it's not (calmly, might I add) and she yelled at me, "That is for WHITE FOLKS!!!" Then she was like "Go ahead, and watch it fall right out!"

I mean everytime I talk hair or just mention something having to do with hair, or buy a product, she gets all snooty and shakes her head like I'm an idiot!!

It is soo frustrated.....Today she asked me to blow her hair out, and OMG, I love my momma but it was a mess! It was dirty, and breakin all which a ways, dry....And She was like "I need to wash it" and I was like, yea, "I shouldnt even be blowing it out with it dirty" and she snapped at me " Look i don't give a damn about hair, ok!? I am such and such years old, I don't care!" and I was "When you start pulling it out, then you'll care..." then she said...." THen I'll just go get a WIG!:lol: " I'm sorry I had to laugh at that, even tho I was madd.

But last week she was lookin at my hair and was like "Lookin at your hair, I need to do something to mine."

My mother is a character, but I'm not saying a word to her about hair NO MORE! I'm just gonna care for my hair to get it to where i want and shut up about it!
Click to expand...

Girl my mom is a hairdresser...How do you think I felt in the beginning of my journey? We use to argue all day. I am like for a hair dresser "you should know that black people can wash their hair more than once a week." She is like yeah but it will break...of course I proved her wrong. Then when my naps started to show (after only 6 weeks mind you) she is like, " you trying to go natural." I am like I am stretching my relaxers now. She was like you will lose your hair if you stretch. The 1st stretch I did have breakage, but made it to 8 weeks. 2nd stretch I made it to 10 weeks...3rd 14 weeks...and by this time I mastered my technique of getting my hair to act right. Every time she relaxed my hair, she would say..wow your hair really grew. Now here this...she is now asking me questions about growing hair. I keep forget that hairdressers are stylist and they give us our dream hairstyle by any cost. If you look at most of their hair, I noticed that it is cut low, in weave or braids...Now what's up with that. Laugh it off for now, because she will come around trust me. We were programmed to believe that black people can not grow their hair.
 
Re: My mother argued me down that my hair is gonna fall out if I wash it weekly(rant!

I'm too old to care what anybody thinks, but I still hide my regime from my momma. I just don't want to hear it. :perplexed
 
I've noticed when we start caring for our hair and it shows, certain other females in our lives, including mothers, suddenly feel the need to do the same (unless they are already doing it). They feel the pressure to make a change to their hair in some way and it can be very challenging for them, especially when they don't want to change. That's what is sounds like with your mother. And yes, jealousy could very well be a factor here as Qtgirl mentioned.

What you and all of us here are doing with our hair care is breaking cycles and myths that has been passed down to us for generations. Your mother will listen and learn from your example (even kicking and screaming along the way) as your hair grows and flows.
 
I was shocked that my mom was so receptive about the things I shared with her about growing our hair. She listened and said "pass the V05." :grin: I was shocked because she is normally so set in her ways about things, but not this time. But I guess that's how mommas are sometimes. They know best and do not want to readily accept that sometimes they can learn from their children.
 
Well sooner or later it will fall out, fall right out of that bun and down your back.... God willing your tresses will be soo beautiful she'll have nothing else to do but look to you for advice.... :grin:
 
Ladies, Ladies ya'll know that the mother-daughter relationship thing is so special it just can't be explained!!!
My mother (1/2 american indian & 1/2 white) still has no idea how to do her own hair, so when she had these black kids we just ran around with ragged, wild banshe heads! She had to catch us to brush our hair and what a screaming kicking battle that was! Finally in middle schol she took us to a salon and the stylist there showed us how to care for and style our hair. This helped imensly, but we were burning and abusing the heck out of our hair so we had little growth. My mom was just happy because she didn't have to fight with us anymore. Mind you she always wore her hair in a braid down her back after washing it every couple of weeks. She couldn't ever understand what all the fuss was about special shampoos and conditioners. Heaven help me when I found this board and began growing my hair- She really believed that you would wash away all your hair and dry it out by shampooing once a week or more!! Her solution to breaking hair was to just brush it less often- thus creating more tangles and knock down drag out fights. Now that I am taking really good care of my hair and seeing real length (the 1st time in over 30 years) she's happy for me and laughs at the days when she would yell at me for every new technique I learned from ths board- "deep condition- what for?" "Wide tooth comb- oh please!" "ceramic curling iron- what's wrong with the dime store metal one I bought for you back in 1976?"
Mothers- gotta luv 'em!
 
Well ladies, I am proud to say my mother has been broken :) She is 100% natural AND she only presses on special occassions AND she shampoos weekly now instead of monthly. Mission accomplished ;)
 
lordy lordy, my best fren and I have been having this argument for the past week, her solution to everything is 1 we ain't white and 2 go natural. i repeatedly tell her i don't want to go natural and water will not dry out your hair. i will let my hair speak for it self, you do the same
 
You know what. Alot of people in my family used to ignore what I said about hair till mines started growing. My mom has always listened thoguh. I showed her the Crown and Glory website and she was like IM ON THAT! She is working on getting her regimine together. She believes what she sees. When your hair starts to look great she will change her tune. Believe me.
 
*ElleB said:
she yelled at me, "That is for WHITE FOLKS!!!" Then she was like "Go ahead, and watch it fall right out!" !
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WHY could I HEAR YOUR mother's voice when I read this? (and I don't even KNOW your Mommy!) :look: lol.
 
ChosenbyGod said:
Weellll...you know that weekly washing doesn't harm the hair, but rather, does a TREMDOUS amount of good...

That's all you can do is just keep taking care of your hair...you know what works for you and what doesn't work for you. The proof is in the pudding!

I know it gets hard explaining things to ppl who don't really know better! :lol: But you know we understand on this site!
Click to expand...


What a LOVELY BUN Chosen! Is it a twist-out ponytail pinned under?
 
You know, my girlfriend said that ish the other day. I was telling her about the LHCF Atlanta area meeting this weekend and she was like, "you know when you get up there, all them girls gone be bald headed...then what?" It really pissed me off because I am on a hair mission and she just laughs at all of my hair products. Yet, she called me for some conditioner the other day because she was too lazy to run out and get her own. She was like, "I know you got Sally's up in there...let me get some of that."
 
My mother never discouraged me. She would always say what she could never do (wash frequently, deep condition her own hair, go 3 months with out a relaxer, etc) When she sees my hair she is always :eek: . She always asks me what did I do differently and my answer is always the same.... the same things you said you could never do. :)

Now she is using Surge on her thinning edges. Taking a Super B-Complex vit every day. She threw out all her "bad" hair products in favor of "better" products. She still goes every 6 weeks for a touch up and lets her stylist deep condition but she is coming around.

She has become my own walking testimonial. Whenever she hears someone say black woman can't have long hair out she comes with pictures of me and my daughter. All I can do is smile. :lol:
 
CantBeCopied said:
What a LOVELY BUN Chosen! Is it a twist-out ponytail pinned under?
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Thanks! It's just an airdried ponytail, tucked under with a bobby pin! It does kinda look like a twist out ponytail huh? :lol:
 
I went through the same thing with my mom this weekend!:lol: I was telling her the results of my first ACV rinse (which turned out wonderfully, by the way), and she said, "That's some white girl ish!" Then told me that it was going to strip my relaxer. I....DON'T...KNOW:ohwell:
 
Divine_Order said:
I went through the same thing with my mom this weekend!:lol: I was telling her the results of my first ACV rinse (which turned out wonderfully, by the way), and she said, "That's some white girl ish!" Then told me that it was going to strip my relaxer. I....DON'T...KNOW:ohwell:
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HTTN!! :look:
 
Eventually she will see how much progress your hair is making, and though it will be a tough pill to swallow, she will have to admit that you are right. Even myself, I thought my cousins were so weird when they complained of not being able to wash their hair after 2 days. Now I find myself having the same complaints almost by week's end. And my hair couldn't be happier!

She'll come around, and when she does try not to appear smug....:lol:
 
Re: My mother argued me down that my hair is gonna fall out if I wash it weekly(rant!

It's best to ,sometimes,tune your mother out...this is what i do...I had the same problem with my mother back in the summer when I would wash my hair almost everyday...she said " Honey, you are not white...stop washing your hair...one day that hair of yours is going to fall out..." The same exact thing your mother said 2 u...she also said something to me that was absolutely dumb..."If you keep washing your hair like that...you're going to wash that relaxer right out."...since when, relaxers can be washed out...I'm telling you...sometimes it's best to just ignore...and like some of the ladies said one day when your hair is down your back she'll change her attitude.
 
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