my mom almost made me cry

[est.April1983]

so my mom noticed that I just got a relaxer last month and I have NG all over the place I have 4b hair or d or f whatever its coarse kinky and thick. she said my perms used to last longer because I have soft hair and I said its not that my perm isn't lasting my hair is growing and this is my natural texture. so she says why don't u keep it short!!! I said I'm growing it out to APL (im 5.5 inches away) and she laughed at me and said my hair will never be that long hers never was and the longest length anyone in the family can have is shoulder length. she kepth laughing and said it would never happen. I felt so bad. I can have APL right and when I have kids with type for hair it will grow long too right? I'm so discouraged please share your stories with me if you came from short to long and you have the longest hair in your family

 

[YoungWavey]

Aww...HUGS (((((YOU)))))....Thats should make you work even harder reaching APL just to prove her wrong...I'm sorry i don't have any stories

 

[the_UnPrettiest_pretty]

Awwwwwwww.........hugs Girlie, don't let your mom discourage you from reaching your goal. My mother did the same thing to me a while back. She ridiculed me and told me my hair would never get to WL. She said I was just wasting my time with all that hair care stuff and protective styling. So, I set out to prove her wrong and guess what, I'm about 2 inches away from my goal!! So, cheer up, and rest assured that with faith and determination, you will reach your goal. If you surround yourself with negative thoughts, then negative things will happen. Therefore, whenever your mother or someone else tries to tell you that you can't reach your goal, simply smile and think positive thoughts. Remember, that you can and will reach your goal, and it will happen. Remember this: you are what you think. If you think negative, nothing good will come of your efforts. Good things can be achieved if you think positively and have faith and determination. And just remember that you have your sisters here at LHCF to cheer you on and support you on your journey!!!

 

[ladylibra]

don't be discouraged! it's always easier for people to doubt your dreams and tear you down.

i cut my hair super-short 2.5 years ago, and today my hair is the longest in my family when straightened. it is definitely the healthiest, although my sis is starting to take better care of her hair now, thanks to me. when i cut all my hair off, they all tried to tell me that my hair would NEVER grow back to the length it was, i had made a big mistake and would regret it. well not only was i cute with short hair and happy about how i looked but my hair grew back and is healthier than it was before.

you keep doing what you're doing... before you know it you're mom will be eating her words.

 

[growth2come]

Pay them no mind! I had a really bad hair situation back in '04 and I just took a scissors and chopped away like a mad person. I cut my hair to about an inch in length. And when I said I wanted to grow it long naturally you should have heard the laughter in the house...but '07 when I took my hair out I was just about an inch away from(even though I need an inch trim) APL...I LET THE HAIR SPEAK FOR ITSELF MY MY SISTER SAW IT. So just ignore it and let the success YOU WILL achieve through patience and good hair care speak for itself. From where I started to where I am now? - If I can do it then you can too. With the forum behind you - dont even pay attention to the negativity.

 

[basketballbabe03]

Aww! that wasn't nice! Don't worry. The same thing happened to me when I told my mom my hair goals. She laughed at me too. Just kept doing what you're doing. Your hair will soon speak for itself. My hair hasn't reached my goal yet, but it's already healthier than it's been in years. Now my mom is telling me how nice and soft my hair is but yet she claims everthing I do to my hair is wrong. Go figure. I don't even tell people my goals any more because someone always has something to say about them.

 

[neonbright]

I never saw my mom with BSL hair only SL and when the first time she saw me after 3 years in Hawaii, I told her I was growing my hair out and she dropped a jaw when she saw it BSL then. She was like wow your hair is beautiful and she wish she could do it. She keeps it short now but loves my healthy hair tips.

 

[tatje]

You can do it and you will do it. I know it's tough having your mom tell you that of all people, but you should prove her wrong and you know you will when she stops disagreeing with you and on the sly ask for hair advice. I'm sure you will be happy to help her because that's your mom.

Don't be discouraged. I know it hurts. There is this quote I'm trying to remember. I think it goes oh wait let me look for it.

Those who say they can't, leave the person who can alone. (Well I paraphrased it).

 

[est.April1983]

thanks for the encouragement. Now everytime I go in the bathroom she laughs and says are you going to check if your hair is growing. I told her mark her words give me a year and a half and I would have APL hair. oooh defeat will be so sweet and I can see myself walking in the house with a boucy lush rollerset swinging it! Booyah!

 

[locabouthair]

so my mom noticed that I just got a relaxer last month and I have NG all over the place I have 4b hair or d or f whatever its coarse kinky and thick. she said my perms used to last longer because I have soft hair and I said its not that my perm isn't lasting my hair is growing and this is my natural texture. so she says why don't u keep it short!!! I said I'm growing it out to APL (im 5.5 inches away) and she laughed at me and said my hair will never be that long hers never was and the longest length anyone in the family can have is shoulder length. she kepth laughing and said it would never happen. I felt so bad. I can have APL right and when I have kids with type for hair it will grow long too right? I'm so discouraged please share your stories with me if you came from short to long and you have the longest hair in your family

DO NOT. AND I REPEAT DO NOT BELIEVE YOUR MOTHER!

I know she is your mother but please do not listen to that negativity. If you believe that you can grow APL, which I believe you can, then yes you will. but YOU MUST BELIEVE! EXPECT TO BE APL!

I do not have armpit length. I am in the same boat as you trying to get there. But I do have a little story of inspiration. I am a 4b, if there was such a thing as 4z that would be me. For years, over a decade my hair was never past ear length. people used to me if they had my hair they would get a weave. By the time I turned 13 I was wearing braids and it grew to shoulder length. Now SL isn't long but I was very excited because my hair never grew past my ears before. back then if anyone would have told me my hair would grow to SL, I wouldnt believe. I never knew my hair had the potential to grow. So I believe that it can grow longer just like yours.

Who knows what role genetics plays in hair growth but if all the women never took great care of their hair, of course their hair will not retain any length. How will you know what length you can reach until you try.

And also this is why I dont tell anyone about my hair goals. Everyone would try to tell me that I can't do it cuz I have that n***a hair. As I have been told before. PLEASE don't listen to thme and keep your goals to yourself.

 

[Dayjoy]

Awww, I feel so badly for you! I know how you feel. I told my mother and sister about my goals and LHCF and they laughed at me. They didn't talk about me to my face because they knew I would get an attitude. That was back in May. Now all I hear is "I should come over and let you do my hair." "What do you have in your closet I can use for my hair?" They still wonder about the stretching and call me hair obsessed, but now they recognize and your mother soon will too. Besides, we can't blame her too much because she is only going by what most of us have believed for decades and many of us still do. When you show her then she will know differently (and better).

 

[*KP*]

This is really sad, it's not the first time I've read on here about people's mothers not being supportive of their hair goals. I told my mum I wanted to grow to BSL and she was soooo supportive even though I still haven't fully grasped the fact that it is possible yet.

I could tell my mother I wanted to walk on the moon and she'd encourage me!!

You just stick to your goals girl, whatever you believe, you can achieve!

 

[ravenmerlita]

Please don't feel bad. Just continue taking care of your hair and it WILL thrive and grow long. I have the softest hair in my family and was told by stylists that it couldn't grow too long because it was too weak. But it is almost at BSL and my whole family and my friends are now complimenting me. One of my nieces has the coarsest hair in the family and her hair is to the top of her thighs. It is absolutely amazing.

So when people start talking about texture and length, I don't get too caught up in what they have to say. I have seen the evidence of how hair of all textures can achieve length with my own eyes in real life and on this board.

 

[harrison]

Don't listen to people who don't have good things to say about something POSITIVE you are doing with your hair.My mother never has anything good to say about mine. But I have an aunt on my father's side that has the same texture of hair as me. Just as thick and coarse as it can be. She was natural the last time I saw her. She had cornrows down to her waist!!! No extensions!! Even then... some of my other aunts were clowning her saying ..."she never does anything more with her hair than 'dem plaits" .But keep doing what you're doing....!!

 

[mscocoface]

thanks for the encouragement. Now everytime I go in the bathroom she laughs and says are you going to check if your hair is growing. I told her mark her words give me a year and a half and I would have APL hair. oooh defeat will be so sweet and I can see myself walking in the house with a boucy lush rollerset swinging it! Booyah!

THAT'S IT!!! Smile all the way to the mirror and keep doing that until you reach you goal. I promise you your mother will have another comment in about a year from now when she notices you are getting some length! Don't be surprised if she not only ask you what you are using and could you help her, but she will be telling everyone and their mother about your hair.

EVEN if she does not, you will have proved your point and she won't be able to give you any more grief. Keep going girl, you will get there and have a testimony too! I love these posts....you are going to become a hair ambassador! Go on wit cho bad self.

 

[Ms Kraft]

thanks for the encouragement. Now everytime I go in the bathroom she laughs and says are you going to check if your hair is growing. I told her mark her words give me a year and a half and I would have APL hair. oooh defeat will be so sweet and I can see myself walking in the house with a boucy lush rollerset swinging it! Booyah!

Watch this ===> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xo9RypC3uCA

This is so going to be you next year. Leave your mom speechless!!! I'm rootin' for ya!

 

[Brownie518]

Don't let that negativity get you down. More often than not, people are not going to believe that you can grow your hair long and healthy. Just hold your head up, brush your shoulders off, and grow that gorgeous head of hair. That will show them. You know and we know you can and will do it!!!

 

[sikora]

Don't listen to people who don't have good things to say about something POSITIVE you are doing with your hair.My mother never has anything good to say about mine. But I have an aunt on my father's side that has the same texture of hair as me. Just as thick and coarse as it can be. She was natural the last time I saw her. She had cornrows down to her waist!!! No extensions!! Even then... some of my other aunts were clowning her saying ..."she never does anything more with her hair than 'dem plaits" .But keep doing what you're doing....!!

They're too afraid to try for themselves so they want to hold you back with them

 

[KhandiB]

we need to go campaigning

we have to make black women stop believing that their hair wont grow!!!

 

[Evolving78]

Girl don't feel bad. My mother used to say the same thing to me. I didn't have long hair when I was younger and I think it was due to the stuff she was doing to it. I was able to grow my hair out long and then I cut it. Now I'm natural and she has her comments about that. She will call my hair little beebees, tell me I can't wash my hair everyday, when it gets longer I should straighten it because it will look nice, told me I should get a texturizer, etc... The list just goes on. Just keep doing what you are doing and when it gets down to your butt, that will be all the proof that you will need. And your babies will have long hair too as look as you take care of it.

 

[remnant]

so my mom noticed that I just got a relaxer last month and I have NG all over the place I have 4b hair or d or f whatever its coarse kinky and thick. she said my perms used to last longer because I have soft hair and I said its not that my perm isn't lasting my hair is growing and this is my natural texture. so she says why don't u keep it short!!! I said I'm growing it out to APL (im 5.5 inches away) and she laughed at me and said my hair will never be that long hers never was and the longest length anyone in the family can have is shoulder length. she kepth laughing and said it would never happen. I felt so bad. I can have APL right and when I have kids with type for hair it will grow long too right? I'm so discouraged please share your stories with me if you came from short to long and you have the longest hair in your family

Dont be sad and don' be mad at your mother either!
I never ever had long hair in my life and believe me or not I'm 35 years old and my hair which never passed a poor and thin shoulder is brastrap now
and it started to grow just two years ago (thank you Jesus)!
My family (mother included) haven't seen it yet but since nobody had ever had long hair before (minus two members) and never ever see me with long hair since my birth they will be shocked when they'll see it
so don't listen to what she says she will come back asking you advices when she will see your long hair flowing!

 

[milotic13]

Personally I think it's a jealousy thing. I've experience that w/ my own mother. I always loved a sharp short hair cut but now I'm letting my hair grow out. Ever so often my mom will give snide remarks about how my hair is short or if I say that I want to say that I'm thinking about cutting my hair she'll say what hair you have nothing there. It's jealousy, but what mothers are jealous of only Jesus knows.