My Man HATES My FRIEND!!!!!!!!

[Cloud06]

My boyfriend gets upset whenever I hang out with a friend of mines. I dont go out much but when I do I usually go out with her and few other friends. When I do he goes to vent to me, "why do you hang with her, she a hoe." I ask how he figures that and he tells times of when she used to date his cousin and how she did him. But I say "I'm not dating her I'm with you and what she does with whoever is her business not yours or mines." Now the girl is a good hearted person and a good friend, she does things for ppl all the time always looking out and stuff.
His motto: Birds of a feather, flock together. I partly agree with him but when we do I see how she get down her actions dont dictate me.

Obviously he insecure but how can I handle a relationship with him and be her friend without stress?

 

[Theo]

My boyfriend gets upset whenever I hang out with a friend of mines. I dont go out much but when I do I usually go out with her and few other friends. When I do he goes to vent to me, "why do you hang with her, she a hoe." I ask how he figures that and he tells times of when she used to date his cousin and how she did him. But I say "I'm not dating her I'm with you and what she does with whoever is her business not yours or mines." Now the girl is a good hearted person and a good friend, she does things for ppl all the time always looking out and stuff.
His motto: Birds of a feather, flock together. I partly agree with him but when we do I see how she get down her actions dont dictate me.

Obviously he insecure but how can I handle a relationship with him and be her friend without stress?

He's being dumb. He's in a relationship with you, not your friend. But, you can't change his insecurity, thats a personal problem.... ummm.... I would sit down and have a talk with him, and make sure he realizes that you and your friend are 2 completely different ppl... wish you the best.

 

[Mimi22]

Once a girl scorns another man, then he will assume that you have the potential to do the same. I think you should reassure him that you love him and dont share the same values as you friend.

 

[Divine_Order]

Your friend must be cute too I've been in that kind of experience, and I can only attribute it to him being insecure. I'll go ahead and ask a long shot question, does he think that all of your friends are like that? If so, that could mean a whole other arguement (ie he's trying to isolate you for some reason).

What sucks is that men can have all kinds of doggish friends and want you to trust that he is not on that. But it seems like they have a problem when it's the other way around (there goes that double standard).

 

[gone_fishing]

He is probably nervous that she'll have a bad influence on you. I wouldn't be quick to dismiss his concerns but I wouldn't let him dictate my friends either. Sounds like you'll have to reassure him that you are you and her actions don't make you change who you are.

Ask him if he has any friends who have ever mistreated a woman and if so, ask him if the fact that HIS friend would do something like that means that he would. :/

 

[Alisha08]

He is probably nervous that she'll have a bad influence on you. I wouldn't be quick to dismiss his concerns but I wouldn't let him dictate my friends either. Sounds like you'll have to reassure him that you are you and her actions don't make you change who you are.

Ask him if he has any friends who have ever mistreated a woman and if so, ask him if the fact that HIS friend would do something like that means that he would. :/

Okay!!! (@ the bolded) And then try to run his life by telling him you don't want him hanging around his no-good friends. I'm sure he wont like that at all. But yeah maybe he just doesn't want you around her, you know how men get. possessive. Is she really a hoe tho??

 

[stinastina]

You all know men have double standards for us women ! He's probably thinking your friend's a hoe and she's going to turn you into one by association. Good luck changing his mind.

 

[naturalmanenyc]

You all know men have double standards for us women ! He's probably thinking your friend's a hoe and she's going to turn you into one by association. Good luck changing his mind.

Ditto. There is some truth to that saying: "show me your friends & I'll show you who you are."

I ended a friendship with a woman because she truly was a whore - even in my eyes. The last straw (after her many one night stands) was when a guy approached us at an event and we did not recognize him. Finally, after getting visibly upset that my friend did not recognize him, he said "We X#$%# last week at your place." Turns out she and I had a double date with him and his friend the week before and although she and this guy clashed and argued most of the night, he ended up in her bed.

I stopped hanging out with her because I did not want her reputation to sully mine.

 

[beautifulisaunderstatment]

Ditto. There is some truth to that saying: "show me your friends & I'll show you who you are."

I ended a friendship with a woman because she truly was a whore - even in my eyes. The last straw (after her many one night stands) was when a guy approached us at an event and we did not recognize him. Finally, after getting visibly upset that my friend did not recognize him, he said "We X#$%# last week at your place." Turns out she and I had a double date with him and his friend the week before and although she and this guy clashed and argued most of the night, he ended up in her bed.

I stopped hanging out with her because I did not want her reputation to sully mine.

I got a friend like that. I talk to her on the phone. No more public outings. Its kinda embarrassing when youve had something happen like that. With her its happened 4 times. 3rd time shoulda been a charm but I was just thinking she would grow up... Nah. Not really. Heart of gold. P*ssy full of 1000 tales. More than she can remember...

 

[Alisha08]

I got a friend like that. I talk to her on the phone. No more public outings. Its kinda embarrassing when youve had something happen like that. With her its happened 4 times. 3rd time shoulda been a charm but I was just thinking she would grow up... Nah. Not really. Heart of gold. P*ssy full of 1000 tales. More than she can remember...

D@mn.......erplexed

 

[Cloud06]

Divine_Order- No, he doesnt think that way about any other friends, although she gets drunk and acts WILD!!! And the friend IMO is not cute everyone who meets her comments on that for some reason but she has BIG personality.

Reg's Wife- You know now that you mention it a similar situation happened to me. And thats my fear. That I'll be out somewhere and some dude gonna try me thinking he gone get some.
Its the double dating and her hooking up random guys and sitting there bout to go home when the other dude think he might hit, puh-lease trick!

I admit he is acting silly and I hve mentioned the facts about his friends and how they treat they chicks. After I brought that up he got my point. He still doesnt like the girl though, and thats fine I have to respect that and see them seperate.

*P.S.* My last boyfriend had the same kind of insecure vibe around that chick so it must be a pattern.

Thanks yall for your thoughts appreciate it!

 

[Princess4real]

Divine_Order- No, he doesnt think that way about any other friends, although she gets drunk and acts WILD!!! And the friend IMO is not cute everyone who meets her comments on that for some reason but she has BIG personality.

Reg's Wife- You know now that you mention it a similar situation happened to me. And thats my fear. That I'll be out somewhere and some dude gonna try me thinking he gone get some.
Its the double dating and her hooking up random guys and sitting there bout to go home when the other dude think he might hit, puh-lease trick!

I admit he is acting silly and I hve mentioned the facts about his friends and how they treat they chicks. After I brought that up he got my point. He still doesnt like the girl though, and thats fine I have to respect that and see them seperate.

*P.S.* My last boyfriend had the same kind of insecure vibe around that chick so it must be a pattern.

Thanks yall for your thoughts appreciate it!

Keep your friend!!! That bird's of a feather crap is ridiculous! You might rub off on her and maybe she will stop being a hooker. If you end up sleeping with everyone, it's because you wanted to do it. I have friends like her and what they do is their business. A guy may think your like her, but I'm sure once he talks to you, he will see that your not. All that worrying about what someone is going to think about you because she's your friend is carzy to me. If your man thinks your that easy, to be persuaded to sleep with other dudes, why is he with you??? She's your friend, enuff said.