My hairdresser is anti-LHCF! What to do? LONG post

[TigerSong]

I'm beside myself on what journey to take with my hair now. After getting my hair badly over-processed and damaged by my long-time hairdresser I got on LHCF and started having great results almost instantly. Then it came time for a relaxer and I found a new hairdresser.

Don't get me wrong I LOVE this lady. She's been doing hair since I was just a twinkle in my daddy's eye and has the extensive experience and degrees in chemistry to know what she's talking about. She is totally ANTI LHCF though!

I went in today to get my hair ready to start the Crown and Glory method - I've been DYING to get some braids in - and she nay-says everything. The visit went basicly like this. "But can I -" NO. "Well what about -" NO. "I read that -" NO.
With her everything is - "That only coats the hair, it doesn't go INSIDE the hair." Left to her there'd be no prepoo, no DC, no ACV, no Crown and Glory, no large-bottle-of-Keracare-itchy scalp-shampoo.

I try to tell her about all the beautiful ladies I see here on LHCF reaching an exceeding their hair goals and she is NOT hearing it. She says braids only stretch the hair, there's no way to do them without causing baldness, ACV is the worst thing I can do to my hair, stretching between relaxers is just going to break my hair off, appearantly EVERYTHING causes build up except for Jojoba oil - my only apporved hair care regimen with her is Keracare shampoo (1st lather and moisterizing) Humecto conditioner, Silk n' Seal, and frequent salon visits.

I'm tempted to just say, "It's MY hair!" and go back to my LHCF ways - there's something empowering about DCing my hair at home and feeling like I have a say in my hair's destiny. I dont have time or money to always go running to the salon and I LIKE taking care of my own hair with the tools I gathered from LHCF. How can you tell me that ALL the ladies with GORGEOUS hair growth that I see on these forums are dead wrong? If what they are doing is so bad then why is their hair like 20 inches longer than mine when some started from a pixie cut? Her explaination is that most LHCF ladies probably aren't in the military and therefore can take care of their hair differently - but I KNOW I saw at least one Army sista in here . . .

I really hate to alienate yet another stylist considering I DO go into the salon for relaxer and trims and I hate getting the LOOK - the "What have you DONE?" look from stylists. But I've only been on LHCF since November and my hair has grown over an inch and I was formerly Queen of Breakage Land just listening to stylists.
I'm feeling like a kid whose parents said they can't watch their favorite TV show ever again. What do you ladies think? Anyone out there a professional stylist with words of wisdom? Anyone been in my spot before?

 

[fairyhairy]

I think you should just be strong, decide what you want from your hair, and probably don't mention LHCF to her again, do what you do at home, get what you need from the salon, end of, When i go to a salon now, i just instruct them as to what i want, nothing more nothing less, sometimes i walk them through it if i feel they may damage my hair, if they can't take it their loss

HTH

 

[clever]

I think you should just be strong, decide what you want from your hair, and probably don't mention LHCF to her again, do what you do at home, get what you need from the salon, end of, When i go to a salon now, i just instruct them as to what i want, nothing more nothing less, sometimes i walk them through it if i feel they may damage my hair, if they can't take it their loss

HTH

IA.You are the ultimate caregiver for your hair.If you want something you've never has before sometimes you have to step out of the box.By the way,how long/healthy is your stylists hair(just curious)?

also it looks like homegirl has an "excuse" for everything that sounds like you won't be so dependent on her.

 

[Extremus]

I think you should just be strong, decide what you want from your hair, and probably don't mention LHCF to her again, do what you do at home, get what you need from the salon, end of, When i go to a salon now, i just instruct them as to what i want, nothing more nothing less, sometimes i walk them through it if i feel they may damage my hair, if they can't take it their loss

HTH

what she said

 

[Foxglove]

I'm feeling like a kid whose parents said they can't watch their favorite TV show ever again. What do you ladies think? Anyone out there a professional stylist with words of wisdom? Anyone been in my spot before?

I could see this maybe if you WERE a kid and it was your parents yelling at you... you are a grown woman
with willpower and a mind of your own
and to top it off it is your money
if she doesn't provide the services you asked then find another stylist that will

 

[Desert Skye]

This happened to me too a few years ago when I finally found LHCF.

I went to the salon for a touchup and the stylist asked how come she hasnt seen me in a while ( i used to go to her once a week for a wash and rollerset)

I told her I bought a hair dryer and I am doing my rollersets at home. She told me in a condensending way that I would end up damaging my hair because I dont know how to do it properly. I asked her why has my hair grown more these few months I've been doing my hair than the entire 3 yrs I have been going to her!

She shut up.




Oh yeah and I told her not to even think about offering me a "trim".

 

[bravenewgirl87]

I think you should just be strong, decide what you want from your hair, and probably don't mention LHCF to her again, do what you do at home, get what you need from the salon, end of, When i go to a salon now, i just instruct them as to what i want, nothing more nothing less, sometimes i walk them through it if i feel they may damage my hair, if they can't take it their loss

HTH

Ditto! My hairstylist is very open. we tell her about LHCF all the time and she probably lurks. One time, she did the saran wrap on my hair and it looked fabulous! Big up to Jay @ The Hair Cuttery, off monument rd.

 

[ricochet]

This happened to me too a few years ago when I finally found LHCF.

I went to the salon for a touchup and the stylist asked how come she hasnt seen me in a while ( i used to go to her once a week for a wash and rollerset)

I told her I bought a hair dryer and I am doing my rollersets at home. She told me in a condensending way that I would end up damaging my hair because I dont know how to do it properly. I asked her why has my hair grown more these few months I've been doing my hair than the entire 3 yrs I have been going to her!

She shut up.

There it is there...You got her. Shut them down. I have been blessed to not have had a bad stylist (I only had two the entire 12 years my hair was relaxed) throughout my hair years #1. Because I took my hair in my own hands when I went natural and haven't been to a stylist since then, #2. My former stylist, while I was relaxed, was a "Would you look a trim today?", "Would you like it blowdried or rollerset?", "Do you want hi-lites throughout or just the crown?", etc, type of stylist. I loved her and still do to this day, she is such a sweet person. I said all that to say this, IT'S YOUR HAIR. No one can dictate what you decide to do with your hair. They relax it about 4 times out of the year and that other 361 days of the year, YOU are taking care of it. I just don't know why these stylists don't "get" that. Anyway, if you can't find another person to do the chemicals for you, or continue to go to that same stylist, go to them strickly for the chemical and tell them you want nothing else.

Heck, don't even get it styled while you are there, because over time, if she sees what you are up to, she might be hateful and not rinse the relaxer all the way out, so neutralize it again and style it when you get home. Yes, I have heard this story too many times, can't you tell? LOL. There are plenty of options, you just have to find one that's right for you. Too many black women are brainwashed and stuck in their ways in regards to our hair, my Mom was one of them, but she now has a head full of thick, natural, below shoulder length hair that she told me the other day she thought, "...would never be this long..." Yay Mommy!

 

[hothair]

I never get these posts- my hair my rules. Like a PP said use her for what she's good for and do what you like on your own. Personally though I'd dump her how many APL + clients does she have? Compared with the number on LHCF? Point made.

 

[cocosweet]

I really hate to alienate yet another stylist considering I DO go into the salon for relaxer and trims and I hate getting the LOOK - the "What have you DONE?" look from stylists. But I've only been on LHCF since November and my hair has grown over an inch and I was formerly Queen of Breakage Land just listening to stylists.

You just answered your own question right here. What you're doing since joining LHCF is working. Keep doing what you know works for you. don't discuss LHCF with her anymore. Besides, LHCF cuts into her profit potential!

 

[chocolatesis]

I agree with what all these ladies are saying. Take control of your own hair.
I used to believe everything stylists told me. At one time I figured I'd listen to my stylists and do everything she reccomends and not do what she frowns on. To make a long story short, when I first went to her I had APL hair that was uneven and "overprocessed"(this according to her). So I let her do my relaxers, set my hair, trim my hair. When I stopped going to her about 6-7 months later, I had SL hair that was breaking off at the root. I learned a very painful lesson; I needed to keep doing what I had been doing.

If you're not comfortable doing your own relaxers then let her do them. If I were you, I'd let her do your relaxers and wash n' sets. I would find someone else to do your trims if you can't do them because she sounds like the type that will cut off all your progress. Just please don't give up LHCF for her, or anybody. I wish I had found LHCF much sooner than I did.

 

[AwesomelyNappy]

I agree with everyone else.

And if she makes you uncomfortable about your hair or your decisions, you should find a new stylist that values your imput/choices.

If you value her as a friend, yall should remain close, but as far as business goes... if she cant respect your decisions concerning your hair, then she shouldn't have the privilage of doing your hair... associate/friend or not.

you should never let someone use their experience or status to bully you.

HHG!!

 

[lisana]

your stylist just doesn't know what she is talking about, it's just that simple. You don't have to explain anything to her about all the things you do to your hair, only what she may need to know as it pertains to what she is doing to your hair that day. You grown, it's your hair and she is performing a service, that's it.

 

[HoneyDew]

You just answered your own question right here. What you're doing since joining LHCF is working. Keep doing what you know works for you. don't discuss LHCF with her anymore. Besides, LHCF cuts into her profit potential!

Exactly. Many stylist don't want to hear that women can free themselves from the salon cage and be independent with their hair care.

I gotta ask - what does her hair look like?

 

[ladylibra]

yeah, well everyone kept telling me that a 10-day restricted calorie diet that cut carbs and fat almost completely out of the picture would send my body into starvation mode when i first started working out. they kept saying that it was bad for me, that my body would cling to my fat instead of dropping it, that i was hurting myself by not eating "normally."

i dropped 8 lbs. and lost 11 in. i haven't worked out in several weeks either but the weight STAYED OFF!!! i went back to a normal diet after that (with carbs and "good" fats) and those same people are telling me i'm still doing it wrong... i should be able to eat whatever junk food i want as long as i'm exercising, and i shouldn't have stopped drinking coffee cuz the caffine curbed my appetite and gave me energy.

but guess who's kept the weight off, and guess who's still walking around pudgy while giving out bad advice... LOL

you gotta do what works for you. if you know other people have been successful growing their hair with LHCF-techniques, and the stylist hasn't been as successful growing your hair out with her techniques... chances are you should tune her out. worst case scenario, nothing on LHCF works for you and you have to go back to her "regimen" right? and i'm pretty certain that won't be the case.

 

[Blessed_Angel]

Since the stylists have not been able to make your hair grow (actually retain the growth), then having another outlet is fine. Your stylist seems threatened, and just want you to rely on only her. When in fact, I think she offers SOME good advice, and some bad advice. Just like what you may recieve on the board.

Some things will work for your hair, and some will not. I used to be the breakage queen also. Everytime my hair grew to my shoulders, it would come tumbling down. And with this site, I have learned, and am still learning, so much about taking care of hair, that I don't have the problems that I used to have. And now I understand why I had the problems that I used to have.

I think you have to use your own discernment and wisdom in deciding what to do. You can take what she says into consideration, but you don't have to follow her. Keep in mind that stylists NEED your business to stay in business, so they want you to feel like you need them, and cannot do it on your own. And you KNOW you can; so keep doing what you do! My stylist tells me to perm every 4 weeks, but I know better (that is what cause me loose all my hair 3 years ago), so I don't care, I wait 6 weeks. And I am working on waiting till 8 weeks.

I don't worry about all these techniques to grow my hair, because it will grow anyway, just as it had before it had broken off. I just focus on keeping it healthy and beautiful, and in the meantime, I am retaining that growth: and that is what is most important. I am very funny about what I put in my hair. And to me, the less the better.

I only visit the salon for a touch-up; I do the rest best.

 

[jasmin]

I'm not surprised. I'm sure there's a lot of hairdressers that hate this site. I think it's funny because they are seeing more and more that people don't need them as much or at all and it's taking money from their pocket. You know because it's all about money. Hey if they were doing their job, taking care of the hair, listening to you without attitude, not making you feel low because you may need them, cutting off your hair...I could go on then a lot of us would still be going to them.

 

[Allandra]

I think you should just be strong, decide what you want from your hair, and probably don't mention LHCF to her again, do what you do at home, get what you need from the salon, end of, When i go to a salon now, i just instruct them as to what i want, nothing more nothing less, sometimes i walk them through it if i feel they may damage my hair, if they can't take it their loss

HTH

I agree with this.

 

[TriniStarr]

just do what you think is right for your hair...........i have been a salon queens for over 5 years and my hair has never made it pass SL and once i found LHCF my hair is 2 inches away from APL.

I use to get the same thing that you were getting from stylist.....come every week to get a wash and set so i can this and that and so on. After a while i really started to pay attention as to what was being done to my hair and told myself i can this at home. And i started doing my own hair home.

The only time you go to your stylist is just for a touch-up and trim. But other than that do not give up on LHCF. Just when you back to see her do not say anything about LHCF.

Good luck and keep LHCF Family posted

 

[ajoyfuljoy]

Sounds like she just needs your $$$ Please realize her bias on the whole topic.

That's what I never understood about stylists. I used to get my hair done when I was younger. They would never be able to tell me what to do when I'm not seeing them. And stylists always wanna act like your hair is SO jacked up when they be the ones doing it!

My breaking point (literally) came when I was going to this chain of Egyptian stylists in Chicago called Ossama's. My hair was between SL and APL by itself (not that healthy but you know). They use dryers so hot that if it focused on your head for a second, it would burn like And THEN they flat iron!

Your hair would be swinging in the wind, light and bouncy when you left...and a couple of days later it would be dry as straw and tangling in itself b/c the strand was made so straight, too straight!

After going to them for a couple of months, one of the ladies was like, "You need a 2 inch trim." But really, whose fault was it!

I stopped going and wised up, but I ended up having to cut off FOUR inches of hair.

Girl please! Nobody cares about your hair as much as you do. Any stylists that wants you to be solely dependent on them for everything regarding your hair is playin' you.

 

[Lady Esquire]

TigerSong, welcome to LHCF.

I was raised by my mom who is a professional cosmetologist and has ran her own salons since the 70s. Two out of my three sisters also became cosmetologists. Take it from me, the majority of beauticians are taught to style hair, not to take care of it. They are concerned on how to make it look good, but not so much about the maintenance.

With that said, there are programs that do focus on high-end products, and holistic theories, but most do not. They're a minority, who continally educate themselves on hair health, and pride themselves on that. But for the most part, their job is to style your hair, and to make you walk out looking fabulous (using heat, products with alcohol, chemicals, coloring, tugging, cutting, slicking, etc...).

If you must keep a stylist, make sure to stay on top of your home maintenance. Plenty of women with healthy hair go to the stylist every two weeks and wash their hair at home alternating weeks, or a similar schedule. Basically, what I am saying is to educate yourself on your own hair, and empower yourself to make informed decisions, whether you're at the salon or in your home bathroom.

 

[TriniStarr]

well said LadyEsquire!

 

[SparklingFlame]

I'll tell you why she and all other stylists are anti LHCF: they see less money in their pockets. If everybody had the knowledge and will to do their own hair at home, they would be out of business.

 

[LovelyRo]

Sounds like she is basically telling you that you're not capable of taking care of your own hair. She has no right to do that. You know what you've seen here and you've also seen the difference in your hair since joining LHCF. Like a PP said, use her for what you need her for and leave it at that. If you have questions, bring them here. LHCF methodology is NOT the norm and you know how people are when it comes to going against the norm!

 

[WomanlyCharm]

It sounds like she cares about you (and getting your money) and is pretty territorial about your hair. But she's not your mama, she's your hairdresser, and YOU pay HER to do what needs to be done.

In the end, you are responsible for what does and does not happen to your hair...you can be it's caretaker, or allow others to be it's worst enemy.

No more talk about LHCF to this lady, and just do what you feel is best for you and your hair. And if she objects, too bad for her.

 

[Maynard]

I'll tell you why she and all other stylists are anti LHCF: they see less money in their pockets. If everybody had the knowledge and will to do their own hair at home, they would be out of business.

And this is what it all boils down to...

I would think long and hard and take it into your own hands. At least for 6 mos or so..

I mean if we are all wrong, you can always go back to her and she can "fix" it right?

 

[Fine 4s]

I'm beside myself on what journey to take with my hair now. After getting my hair badly over-processed and damaged by my long-time hairdresser I got on LHCF and started having great results almost instantly. Then it came time for a relaxer and I found a new hairdresser.

Don't get me wrong I LOVE this lady. She's been doing hair since I was just a twinkle in my daddy's eye and has the extensive experience and degrees in chemistry to know what she's talking about. She is totally ANTI LHCF though!

I went in today to get my hair ready to start the Crown and Glory method - I've been DYING to get some braids in - and she nay-says everything. The visit went basicly like this. "But can I -" NO. "Well what about -" NO. "I read that -" NO.
With her everything is - "That only coats the hair, it doesn't go INSIDE the hair." Left to her there'd be no prepoo, no DC, no ACV, no Crown and Glory, no large-bottle-of-Keracare-itchy scalp-shampoo.

I try to tell her about all the beautiful ladies I see here on LHCF reaching an exceeding their hair goals and she is NOT hearing it. She says braids only stretch the hair, there's no way to do them without causing baldness, ACV is the worst thing I can do to my hair, stretching between relaxers is just going to break my hair off, appearantly EVERYTHING causes build up except for Jojoba oil - my only apporved hair care regimen with her is Keracare shampoo (1st lather and moisterizing) Humecto conditioner, Silk n' Seal, and frequent salon visits.

I'm tempted to just say, "It's MY hair!" and go back to my LHCF ways - there's something empowering about DCing my hair at home and feeling like I have a say in my hair's destiny. I dont have time or money to always go running to the salon and I LIKE taking care of my own hair with the tools I gathered from LHCF. How can you tell me that ALL the ladies with GORGEOUS hair growth that I see on these forums are dead wrong? If what they are doing is so bad then why is their hair like 20 inches longer than mine when some started from a pixie cut? Her explaination is that most LHCF ladies probably aren't in the military and therefore can take care of their hair differently - but I KNOW I saw at least one Army sista in here . . .

I really hate to alienate yet another stylist considering I DO go into the salon for relaxer and trims and I hate getting the LOOK - the "What have you DONE?" look from stylists. But I've only been on LHCF since November and my hair has grown over an inch and I was formerly Queen of Breakage Land just listening to stylists.
I'm feeling like a kid whose parents said they can't watch their favorite TV show ever again. What do you ladies think? Anyone out there a professional stylist with words of wisdom? Anyone been in my spot before?

Bingo!
= more $ in her pockets.

 

[miami74]

I think you should just be strong, decide what you want from your hair, and probably don't mention LHCF to her again, do what you do at home, get what you need from the salon, end of, When i go to a salon now, i just instruct them as to what i want, nothing more nothing less, sometimes i walk them through it if i feel they may damage my hair, if they can't take it their loss

HTH

I second this!!

 

[Fine 4s]

Sounds like she is basically telling you that you're not capable of taking care of your own hair. She has no right to do that. You know what you've seen here and you've also seen the difference in your hair since joining LHCF. Like a PP said, use her for what you need her for and leave it at that. If you have questions, bring them here. LHCF methodology is NOT the norm and you know how people are when it comes to going against the norm!

Well, she has the right to say whatever she wants until she's blue in the face and she has her reasons for saying what she said. BTW, she wouldn't be the first hairstylist to think that home hair care is NOT the way to go. It's really up to TigerSong to decide whether she's going to listen to her or make up her own decision based on her own results. B/c we can give TigerSong all the advice in the world and she still might not be able to take care of her hair. Some people just don't have the patience, skills or the desire to care for their hair I see it all the time. So, if the hair care results are to TigerSong's satisfaction she can do more of it, if not she can change it. Time will tell...

 

[Platinum]

I agree with the other Ladies. If you see more progress by following the advice of the sistas on this site, then you should stick to your own regimen. You have to do what's best for you. I wish I had be infomed of this site years ago. I could have saved more money and my hair. Most stylists are concerned with styling hair instead of helping clients grow healthy heads of hair.