My HaiR Is CutE anD YoU Can't HaVe it.

[DrC]

So I was in the beauty supply store a few months back, feeding my 'Hair Product Junky' addiction(In The voice of Pookie From New Jack City: IT JUST KEEP CALLING ME!!!lol) when a lady came into the store wearing some beautiful 'Italian Wave' type hair extensions (I'm just guessing on the texture).

So while waiting in line, another lady in front of me approched Italian Wave complimenting her.

Lady: "your hair is so pretty"

Italian Wave: "Why thank You." as she gave a nonchalant smile, continuing to walk slowly as if the
lady was being a nuisance to her.

Lady: "Where did you buy your hair from?"

Italian Wave in motion, whom acts as if she couldnt stop moving, turned around with a slightly bothered look
on her face and said

"I got it online-." Flipped her hair (again I say) FLIPPED her hair and walked away.


WHAT THE FU---How The h-- ( collecting myself.... woooosah)

Mkay,....Well, talk about rachet common courtesy. She might as well have said "Yeah, thank you for telling me my hair is cute but you can't have it."

Why do women act like that?? As if they dont want anyone to want what they have?? Unless Italian Wave killed someone and scalped them for their tresses, it shouldnt have to be a big secret (well I don't think.) Everyone is aware that she is wearing extensions.

When people come up to me and compliment me on my hair, clothes shoes etc.
I automatically respond with the location of where I bought them, and now we are having
a 10 minute convo about fashion lol---I mean I just blab away.
Just like the other day when one of my friends asked me where I got my hair from
I tell her I got it from Ling and them at the chinese store for 39.99 a pack without tax located
in the left hand corner of the second aisle to your right---( you get the point).
Thats just me.

Anywho, while all the other women in line were giving out their 'I know this bh didn't' responses,

I had a converstation with myself inside my head thinking: You mean to tell me that there are women whom are so insecure about
other people having the same materialistic things that they're willing to be rude, defensive and secretive about it.....?
To me its just hair, but to others I guess it is more than that.

*shrug* I'm through.

Ever encountered someone like that??

 

[kandiekj100]

If someone asks, I'd tell. Heck, I'd probably tell them if they didn't ask. I could be an oversharer that way.

 

[ms.blue]

I believe the woman was bothered because first someone pointed it out that it was not her hair and second she want to have the "exculsive hair". I normally don't have a problem when someone compliements my wig or weave and usually I will tell the person beforehand that i'm wearing added hair and tell them where I got it. What's the sense of keeping it to myself? Everyone wants to look good.

 

[kblc06]

Hmm...it's more than a little uncouth for someone to ask you "Where did you buy your hair?" What if the woman questioning her had been mistaken and the lady was wearing her real hair ? IMO, one shouldn't just make such assumption...it can be construed as rude even if you have the best intentions

 

[Mizz Diamonds]

at the title of the thread

 

[MadisonK]

I walked up to a woman one day and said "i really like your jeans. where did you get them?" and she looked me in my face and said "I am not able to share this information with you." I said "umm...ok". erplexed

 

[DrC]

I walked up to a woman one day and said "i really like your jeans. where did you get them?" and she looked me in my face and said "I am not able to share this information with you." I said "umm...ok". erplexed

Was she apart of the FBI or something?

 

[MadisonK]

Was she apart of the FBI or something?

I think people want to be unique. I get that, but come on...IT'S SOME JEANS! lol

 

[teacherjess]

I have noticed women doing this and I crack up inside. It does stem from insecurity. When that happens, I usually walk off laughing inside and thinking, "Its ok, sweetie. You keep your little secrets because you'll need them because you can't BE me...I am unique, beautiful, and fine even on my worst day and you can't buy that online or in a store." If they are really rude and ugly I say it outloud.

 

[cocosweet]

You mean to tell me that there are women whom are so insecure about
other people having the same materialistic things that they're willing to be rude, defensive and secretive about it.....?

Yes. If they tell you where they got their hair, shoes, handbag, car, man, jewelry, then you will run out and get those things and they will cease being the special one.

 

[Barbara]

If someone asks, I'd tell. Heck, I'd probably tell them if they didn't ask. I could be an oversharer that way.

I'm the same way. I don't mind sharing information at all.

 

[Barbara]

I believe the woman was bothered because first someone pointed it out that it was not her hair and second she want to have the "exculsive hair". I normally don't have a problem when someone compliements my wig or weave and usually I will tell the person beforehand that i'm wearing added hair and tell them where I got it. What's the sense of keeping it to myself? Everyone wants to look good.

"Competition" comes to my mind. Everyone may want to look good, but some don't want others to look better than them.

 

[qchelle]

IMO, asking a stranger 'where did you buy your hair from' is rude and intrusive. I would have been taken aback/shocked and probably wouldn't have responded on the positive side. Asking 'where did you get that shirt?' is not the same as asking someone where did they buy something that is supposed to naturally occur on their body (i.e. hair, boobs, azzz, teeth). IMO, that's just rude.

 

[DrC]

IMO, asking a stranger 'where did you buy your hair from' is rude and intrusive. I would have been taken aback/shocked and probably wouldn't have responded on the positive side. Asking 'where did you get that shirt?' is not the same as asking someone where did they buy something that is supposed to naturally occur on their body (i.e. hair, boobs, azzz, teeth). IMO, that's just rude.

yeah true, but I think this was an exception since we're all in the hair store coming to pick up hair, hair products, nail products etc. Well, I guess it must've not looked very natural if the lady was asking that question. *shrug*

 

[LovinLea]

IMO, asking a stranger 'where did you buy your hair from' is rude and intrusive. I would have been taken aback/shocked and probably wouldn't have responded on the positive side. Asking 'where did you get that shirt?' is not the same as asking someone where did they buy something that is supposed to naturally occur on their body (i.e. hair, boobs, azzz, teeth). IMO, that's just rude.

I usually agree with that but i feel like this is the exception because they were in the BSS.

 

[Mook's hair]

Hmm...it's more than a little uncouth for someone to ask you "Where did you buy your hair?" What if the woman questioning her had been mistaken and the lady was wearing her real hair ? IMO, one shouldn't just make such assumption...it can be construed as rude even if you have the best intentions

I have been asked by several women (where did you buy that kind of hair)
And My hair is real...all mine. I've never been offended by the question or acted blown off the person asking like the chick in that story.

Sometimes it does make me question the state of affairs in the black community. It just seems that the assumption is always toward weave or purchased hair and that makes me feel a little disappointed.

 

[VirtuousBeauty]

I never understood why people have to be secretive. If It's mass produced other people will have it on. If you want to feel unique have it made or tailored or something

 

[BriDa5242]

So I was in the beauty supply store a few months back, feeding my 'Hair Product Junky' addiction(In The voice of Pookie From New Jack City: IT JUST KEEP CALLING ME!!!lol) when a lady came into the store wearing some beautiful 'Italian Wave' type hair extensions (I'm just guessing on the texture).

So while waiting in line, another lady in front of me approched Italian Wave complimenting her.

Lady: "your hair is so pretty"

Italian Wave: "Why thank You." as she gave a nonchalant smile, continuing to walk slowly as if the
lady was being a nuisance to her.

Lady: "Where did you buy your hair from?"

Italian Wave in motion, whom acts as if she couldnt stop moving, turned around with a slightly bothered look
on her face and said

"I got it online-." Flipped her hair (again I say) FLIPPED her hair and walked away.


WHAT THE FU---How The h-- ( collecting myself.... woooosah)

Mkay,....Well, talk about rachet common courtesy. She might as well have said "Yeah, thank you for telling me my hair is cute but you can't have it."

Why do women act like that?? As if they dont want anyone to want what they have?? Unless Italian Wave killed someone and scalped them for their tresses, it shouldnt have to be a big secret (well I don't think.) Everyone is aware that she is wearing extensions.

When people come up to me and compliment me on my hair, clothes shoes etc.
I automatically respond with the location of where I bought them, and now we are having
a 10 minute convo about fashion lol---I mean I just blab away.
Just like the other day when one of my friends asked me where I got my hair from
I tell her I got it from Ling and them at the chinese store for 39.99 a pack without tax located
in the left hand corner of the second aisle to your right---( you get the point).
Thats just me.

Anywho, while all the other women in line were giving out their 'I know this bh didn't' responses,

I had a converstation with myself inside my head thinking: You mean to tell me that there are women whom are so insecure about
other people having the same materialistic things that they're willing to be rude, defensive and secretive about it.....?
To me its just hair, but to others I guess it is more than that.

*shrug* I'm through.

Ever encountered someone like that??

lol!!!! I print out a pic and probably map quest directions for them .

 

[Sugar]

Hmm...it's more than a little uncouth for someone to ask you "Where did you buy your hair?" What if the woman questioning her had been mistaken and the lady was wearing her real hair ? IMO, one shouldn't just make such assumption...it can be construed as rude even if you have the best intentions

Yeah I totally agree with this. The lady who asked that question was rude and completely out of line.

 

[Tiye]

...

Anywho, while all the other women in line were giving out their 'I know this bh didn't' responses,

I had a converstation with myself inside my head thinking: You mean to tell me that there are women whom are so insecure about
other people having the same materialistic things that they're willing to be rude, defensive and secretive about it.....?
To me its just hair, but to others I guess it is more than that.

*shrug* I'm through.

Ever encountered someone like that??

^^ Um yeah there are. I don't think it's rude to ask in a hair store - in gen public yes that would be inappropriate. In a hair store where people come to buy extensions all day long no big deal. I've been asked and it was my hair coming out of my own follicles - I was not offended. I wouldn't have been offended if it was extension hair. Could this be a matter of interpretation though? When someone asks me where I got something I will say "online" (if I got it online) coz I know scads of people who don't shop online so if you rattle off the name of a website it doesn't mean anything to them. Now if I say "online/on the internet" and you want to know specifics - i.e. the name of the website then I'll tell you in a heartbeat, write it down for you, take your email so I can send the info to you, yadda, yadda. Now if this woman is into ordering direct (from Asia) then maybe that can be a bit too complex for a passing question in a store aisle. I've ordered stuff from other countries (business, non-hair related) that that's a longer story than abcdefg.com ... and if you really want to know I'm happy to tell you but I'm not going to get into it at a cash register.

Now about the body language - i.e. the hair flip and turn ... I don't know.

 

[Giselle685]

It's possible that Italian Wave was more angry about the lady calling her out in front of everyone. It could have been an insecurity brought out in her (Italian Wave) , and she felt insulted. It's possible that that is the reason she walked out like that. It may have been better if the inquirer asked outside of the beauty salon . PERHAPS.

I'll leave it up, even though you all said what I was thinking. I should have read through the thread first hehe.

 

[Covergirl5906]

A lot of women do that and it's not just with hair. They do not share period. Everything is a competition. Even over on the BHM weave forum, there are people who will not share their vendors, because they believe that everyone will run out and buy up the hair and there will be none left for them, or because they just don't want others looking like them.

On the other hand if the op could hear that conversation the woman doing the asking was being too loud. I could see how one could be offended if someone asked them about their weave in a not so discreet manner.

 

[TowsonGirl]

....................

 

[LadyRaider]

I think I'd be mortified if I was wearing a weave or a wig and someone asked me where I bought it. But I guess that's why I don't/can't wear them.

However, a previous poster has a point about it being in a BSS. It seems like an okay question to ask in that setting.

 

[DrC]

A lot of women do that and it's not just with hair. They do not share period. Everything is a competition. Even over on the BHM weave forum, there are people who will not share their vendors, because they believe that everyone will run out and buy up the hair and there will be none left for them, or because they just don't want others looking like them.

No wonder why I couldn't get any answers on finding Bobbi Boss hair when I went to BHM!

On the other hand if the op could hear that conversation the woman doing the asking was being too loud. I could see how one could be offended if someone asked them about their weave in a not so discreet manner.

Nah, she was'nt talking loud she asked her in a polite voice.. The lady including all other people in line were also interested in where Italian Wave bought her hair from, since others were whispering they liked it.

 

[JJamiah]

I share and don't mind sharing alot. Doesn't mean I have to share everything. Also, I don't like to be called out in the beauty store or outside. Your hair is nice and if I look approachable take a cue, then you can say "do you mind letting me know your source" and if I give it to so be it. If I don't so be it. I am not obligated to share anything. Just My Opinion about it.

The Italian Weaves cue would have given me the idea she didn't want to be bother, other gals fault for not realizing that

As I said I don't mind sharing most of the time.

 

[beautyaddict1913]

I tell people where I get things as well. It is a sign of insecurity if you dont...are you afraid that they will rock it better than you?

 

[Neek-a-Nator]

I tell people where I get things as well. It is a sign of insecurity if you dont...are you afraid that they will rock it better than you?

ITA with this, SOME women are soooooo sensitive about things I wouldn't feel sensitive about, ie: weight, age, height. I really don't give a flyin......I'm also a sharer, lol. All my friends call me the make artist, lol....if I know something I'm willing to share info because it doesn't impact or change me and HONESTLY I'm always willing to help a sista out. I don't feel the need to be the only "pretty" girl/friend. I want all my friends to be pretty and look their best, someone being pretty or having fabulous hair has no reflexion on me. Since I'm aware that ppl are like that I tend not to ask questions, but if I saw someone admiring my weave/wig and they asked about it, to be offended would be the furthest thing from my mind. First I would thank her for the compliment and if she asked, I would tell. But hey everybody isn't like me and I understand that

 

[LittleLuxe]

Lol, I guess I'm also in the minority. I don't mind sharing some things and am glad to teach (hair, makeup, clothes, etc) but after having a friend who did everything to bite my style I too have turned a little tight-lipped.

I'm pretty sure Italian wave had her own reasons. I've seen this happen with my mom though and in that case imitation is not the sincerest form of flattery. Someone asks where she got her hair from (wig), she tells them with a smile and practically the same afternoon they'll be strutting around with it on their head's like they invented it, lol.

As for me, my perfume, shoes, clothes, jeans, makeup. I mean it got to the point where while walking through the mall with my friend I picked up a perfume bottle smiling and told her I was planning to buy it soon (I had splurged a bit the week before and had to wait for my next paycheck with no savings to just purchase it), she sniffed it once and purchased it.

On the other hand yeah I do still kinda find the phrase "Where'd you get your hair" kind of annoying bss or not, lol. If we have a casual conversation, bond a little and you ask - cool. If you just walk up to me and ask...not cool.

 

[darlingdiva]

"Competition" comes to my mind. Everyone may want to look good, but some don't want others to look better than them.

I agree. I remember shaking my head at a post on this very board where a user admitted that she doesn't tell people what she does to her hair so that their hair won't grow longer or look better than hers.