My hair is a mess

[HeavenlySkies]

And I think I might have heat damage so what I'm thinking of doing is relaxing my hair and transitioning all over again...it's either that or cut my hair off and I don't know where to start. Any suggestions?


July 10th

Oct 31st

Xmas straightened

Dec 28th straightened more to touch it up for work.

Dec 30th

Jan 1st

Jan 12th
Just EQP glaze and I think KO SBL

What I'm talking about...

Jan 17th

Today

But I will note that 2 months after I big chopped in 09 I had some pieces in the front sticking out like the above below and it wasn't relaxed leftover pieces...

March 09.

​

 

[ms-gg]

So you are natural, but you want to relax to transition all over again because of heat damage? Why do you want to do that?

Why don't you just grow your damaged hair out and trim a little over time?

 

[LaFemmeNaturelle]

Could you explain your logic behind relaxing and transitioning again? Why can't you just transition out of your heat damage? If your hair is already damaged, relaxing is only going to make it worse.

 

[Tiye]

If my hair was damaged I'd cut it and let it grow out again. If it was terribly damaged from roots to ends I'd cut it down to the nub, but if it was just ends that were damaged I'd cut away the damaged part only. If you're uncomfortable with short hair then wear a wig for a while. Uncomfortable with wigs? They have scads of patterns and textures these days to match just about every hair type so no one has to know you're wearing a wig unless you tell them. There are even some vendors who you can send a picture of your hair and they'll process wig or weave hair to match your own. My main point - makes no sense to relax damaged hair.

 

[PPGbubbles]

And I think I might have heat damage so what I'm thinking of doing is relaxing my hair and transitioning all over again...it's either that or cut my hair off and I don't know where to start. Any suggestions?

Im sorry hunny but the bolded makes no sense to me....why would you relax damage hair just to transition??


If you are experiencing some loss of texture due to heat, try a deep protein treatment like Aphogee 2 step and follow that with a good moisturizing DC and in the weeks following really stay on top of your moisture game.

I think you may need to breathe for a sec. You seem to be a little frustrated and this is not the time to make drastic hair decisions.

Honestly a little heat damage is not a good reason to cut off all your hair, unless a wash and go is your staple style and you cannot live without perfect natural texture.

You may simply need to lay off the heat give your hair some TLC and baby your strands. try braid outs and twist outs and use rollers on the ends to camouflage the damage.

don’t be discourage hun! This too shall pass ((((hug))))

 

[Nasdaq_Diva]

Yeah, I'm lost on that thought process too.

Where is the damage located? Have you done any protein treatments/moisturizing treatments to see if the curls revert? Try as many as the homemade 'remedy' treatments you can and if none of those work then cut the damaged section off, or just cut and start all over again. But PLEASE do not get a relaxer, just to BC.

 

[Fhrizzball]

Protein treatments seem to help those who have severe heat damage on top of regular DCing. If there's no breakage and splits then I would just transition it out.

 

[mg1979]

????

Were you maybe planning to do a long term transition as opposed to a Big Chop? If that's the case, it might be better to just grow out the damaged hair and cut the damaged ends when you're at a good length.

 

[Curly Luul]

I agree with the other women. Why don't you just go hard at the deep conditioning/ oilling/ protein treatments/ protective styles etc… the heat damage is repairable with a little TLC..

Hope all works out for you

 

[HeavenlySkies]

Maybe I'm explaining it incorrectly but I'm at work now so I'll take pix later. What I assume is heat damage isn't anything extreme as my hair has diff textures. I've read that as hair grows the weight makes it hang which could be the case in those parts of my head it's just lame to me that I've been at this for 2 years and my hair still isn't shoulder length so obvious something is wrong. As far as protein I've used joico k-pak reconstructor I don't use heat often maybe 3 times in the 2 years so it seems like my texture has changed to something that is depressing for me to deal with on a daily basis. I do not want to start over and lose what "progress" I've had but I'm not happy and I don't want a relaxer either.

 

[Charz]

You should not relax damaged hair.

 

[Lynnerie]

Maybe I'm explaining it incorrectly but I'm at work now so I'll take pix later. What I assume is heat damage isn't anything extreme as my hair has diff textures. I've read that as hair grows the weight makes it hang which could be the case in those parts of my head it's just lame to me that I've been at this for 2 years and my hair still isn't shoulder length so obvious something is wrong. As far as protein I've used joico k-pak reconstructor I don't use heat often maybe 3 times in the 2 years so it seems like my texture has changed to something that is depressing for me to deal with on a daily basis. I do not want to start over and lose what "progress" I've had but I'm not happy and I don't want a relaxer either.

Hi Moustacy,
Once you post pics we can assess the situation better. It is true that as hair grows the weight can make the curl pattern looser but we also know that it only takes one time to get heat damage if too much heat is applied and the wrong techniques are used for your hair.

If your hair is damaged you do not want to relax or you'll just get breakage.

Question- how do you wear your hair daily? The answer may be the reason you feel you're not retaining length.

 

[cmbodley]

Edited b/c my question was already asked.

 

[HeavenlySkies]

Added pictures. For Lynnerie I usually wear puffs because I can't do anything else that doesn't involve it being loose or looking ridiculous.

 

[Whimsy]

((BIG HUG))

You're talking foolishness so i know that means you're just upset and frustrated with your hair right now. Listen, it's gunna be ok

((BIG HUG))

Whether you have heat damage or not, don't stress! And don't ever think a relaxer is a cure.

Ideas for you:

a. don't focus on how long your hair isn't yet....ya know?
b. avoid heat and you'll avoid heat damage
c. baby your hair, take care of it, moisturize it, love it, and appreciate it as it is
d. try new styles that mask the different textures, (braidouts, knot outs, twistouts)
e. since you're focused on retaining length, try keeping your ends protected often, maybe do a bun challenge to keep yourself motivated

Remember, you can always trim away damaged bits!

Good luck and HHG

 

[~*~ShopAholic~*~]

I see straight pieces but nothing so drastic that you should cut or relax your hair if that's not what you really want. Maybe you need to tweaked your regimen so you may start retaining more length.

Sent from my Zio

 

[Bun Mistress]

I would do a protein treatment, this probably won't solve the problem completely though looking at the damage. I will say, looking at your hair have you tried a roller set over the flat ironing. I think you could get the same results with practice. I have to cosign with the above posters. Damage is frustrating but not the end of the world.

 

[westNDNbeauty]

Its not that bad. I say just grow it out. A transition is absolutely not necessary.

A relaxer? huh? Unless you've been wanting to relax even before this....I'm not sure about the logic in that.

 

[DDTexlaxed]

I can relate, but if you relax, you will lose all the progress you made. I chopped due to henna straitening my hair. Although I miss my length, I do not miss my damaged hair. Why not get a trim and grow your hair out? Can you hide your hair in protective styles as it grows out? I know when my TWA grows out, it will be healthy and I have no doubt the same will happen for you. I wish I could be more help to you. I hope you can find an answer that will solve your problem.

 

[Ms Lala]

I don't think it looks bad. I see what you are talking about though. I think twist outs, roller sets, and rod sets would disguise the texture difference and you could slowly cut it out if you choose. Relaxing definitely won't help the problem.

 

[Azure18]

Girl, your hair is beautiful even with that little bit of damage.

Don't be frustrated, just focus on babying your hair, and cutting off small pieces of the damage as it grows out.

 

[imaccami]

Maybe I'm explaining it incorrectly but I'm at work now so I'll take pix later. What I assume is heat damage isn't anything extreme as my hair has diff textures. I've read that as hair grows the weight makes it hang which could be the case in those parts of my head it's just lame to me that I've been at this for 2 years and my hair still isn't shoulder length so obvious something is wrong. As far as protein I've used joico k-pak reconstructor I don't use heat often maybe 3 times in the 2 years so it seems like my texture has changed to something that is depressing for me to deal with on a daily basis. I do not want to start over and lose what "progress" I've had but I'm not happy and I don't want a relaxer either.

Sounds like you're more upset that after 2 years your hair still isn't shoulder length. I wouldn't worry about whatever heat damage you have and would focus on changing something in your regimen so that you can retain length.

 

[silkii_locks]

Maybe it's just me but I really don't see the damage that you're talking about. Your hair doesn't look bad to me. Is that you're just not wanting to deal with the natural texture anymore?

 

[HeavenlySkies]

Well I can't get my hair in a bun unless it's straightened, can't do braids because I can't braid, can't do twists because they always turn out a sloppy mess, so my only option is the puff which in turn leaves me open to ssks. I used to have my mom braid my hair but whenever she did it all she would do is talk about how I needed a perm and or how nappy it is and now she keeps her nails done so she won't ever have to get "stuck" doing my hair. I can't go to a stylist because I simply don't trust them due to 2 setbacks caused by them. I went in to one for straightback cornrows and she braided knots into my hair and it didnt even look like braids. The other I went for a trim with my hair straightened and told her it didn't have to be even because I never wear my hair straight and the idiot cut it evenly anyway then afterwards told me "it's impossible to not cut it even". I've looked on the salon forum to find someone in my area (Vegas) and can never find any suggestions for here so it's pretty much hopeless on my end. I co-wash daily, moisturize, and everything and it's still a no go.

 

[Boujoichic]

Well I can't get my hair in a bun unless it's straightened, can't do braids because I can't braid, can't do twists because they always turn out a sloppy mess, so my only option is the puff which in turn leaves me open to ssks. I used to have my mom braid my hair but whenever she did it all she would do is talk about how I needed a perm and or how nappy it is and now she keeps her nails done so she won't ever have to get "stuck" doing my hair. I can't go to a stylist because I simply don't trust them due to 2 setbacks caused by them. I went in to one for straightback cornrows and she braided knots into my hair and it didnt even look like braids. The other I went for a trim with my hair straightened and told her it didn't have to be even because I never wear my hair straight and the idiot cut it evenly anyway then afterwards told me "it's impossible to not cut it even". I've looked on the salon forum to find someone in my area (Vegas) and can never find any suggestions for here so it's pretty much hopeless on my end. I co-wash daily, moisturize, and everything and it's still a no go.

I couldnt twist either but now I can. I just kept trying and with practice I got better now I can do a flat twist out that looks like I used rods. I understand your frustration but try not to bc or relax while youre still frustrated. I have heat damage at the ends of the front of my hair from when I had a straight weave. I was flat ironing frequently to blend the leaveout but Im not gonna cut it until I reach my first goal of APL then I will begin to trim it off. Ive learned how to deal with the texture difference and to scrunch those sections when I wear a wash and go so that it looks ok. I would also recommend the aphogee 2 Step treatment that can help if those sections arent truly heat damaged and just need some TLC some naturals after straightening or even just wearing stretched styles can experience some temporary curl loss but can recover after babying their hair.

 

[Whimsy]

Well I can't get my hair in a bun unless it's straightened, can't do braids because I can't braid, can't do twists because they always turn out a sloppy mess, so my only option is the puff which in turn leaves me open to ssks. I used to have my mom braid my hair but whenever she did it all she would do is talk about how I needed a perm and or how nappy it is and now she keeps her nails done so she won't ever have to get "stuck" doing my hair. I can't go to a stylist because I simply don't trust them due to 2 setbacks caused by them. I went in to one for straightback cornrows and she braided knots into my hair and it didnt even look like braids. The other I went for a trim with my hair straightened and told her it didn't have to be even because I never wear my hair straight and the idiot cut it evenly anyway then afterwards told me "it's impossible to not cut it even". I've looked on the salon forum to find someone in my area (Vegas) and can never find any suggestions for here so it's pretty much hopeless on my end. I co-wash daily, moisturize, and everything and it's still a no go.

whoa negative nellie!

So you think a relaxer would help you?

lol girl listen, you're stuck in excuses village and you need to move out!

cant get your hair in one bun? put it in 2
cant braid? learn via you tube
cant twist neatly? it doesnt matter! you're wearing a twistOUT so messy doesn't count.
don't worry about salons, you are well equipped to take good care of your hair on your own.
take a look at the products you're using, maybe it's time for a clarifying shampoo and a DC just to get your hair feeling good.

You can wear your hair well moisturized in a puff and be fine. leave that heat alone tho.
Just relax, be patient, be positive and take care of your hair and you'll notice it growing and retaining length.

PS as for style options, if you don't practice you'll never be a decent twister or braider. So experiment and practice and leave no room for excuses.

 

[DaDragonPrincess]

First of all,please take a break from the relaxers and heat right now until you nurse your hair back to good health and repair that damage, relaxing it now want repair it. ​

"PROTECTIVE STYLES/OIL and MOISTURE"​

 

[Nasdaq_Diva]

Well I can't get my hair in a bun unless it's straightened, can't do braids because I can't braid, can't do twists because they always turn out a sloppy mess, so my only option is the puff which in turn leaves me open to ssks.

Stop being so negative. Youtube is your friend when learning to to style your hair. My Mom and several other family members are cosmetologist and/or gone to schooling for cosmetology. Me, I can't do a lick of her...

But, I'm trying. The more I practice the better I get. You can do it.

 

[ms-gg]

Maybe I'm explaining it incorrectly but I'm at work now so I'll take pix later. What I assume is heat damage isn't anything extreme as my hair has diff textures. I've read that as hair grows the weight makes it hang which could be the case in those parts of my head it's just lame to me that I've been at this for 2 years and my hair still isn't shoulder length so obvious something is wrong. As far as protein I've used joico k-pak reconstructor I don't use heat often maybe 3 times in the 2 years so it seems like my texture has changed to something that is depressing for me to deal with on a daily basis. I do not want to start over and lose what "progress" I've had but I'm not happy and I don't want a relaxer either.

I do see the heat damage that you speak about. Some of the ends of your hair is a little straighter than the rest. But it isn't that bad. All you really have to do is trim somewhere between 1 inch-.5 inches a month until all of the damaged ends are gone. That way you sort of "break even" with hair growth or only lose .5 inches a month instead of 2 inches right up front.

 

[HeavenlySkies]

Ok I know it sounds extra bad the way I explained it but it is how it is lol Let's just say I have 3 fingers on each hand so learning how to braid is out of the question. I've tried the youtube videos and french braided a straight-haired mannequin awhile ago but would never think I could do it to my own head like how Mook and others do.​

Anyhoo unless I use like gel my hair is fine. Last night I clarified, used porosity control, put on some mimosa honey and then put the organix pomegranate conditioner over that then rinsed it out this morning. Then I put KO SBL and mimosa honey over that and this is how it looked 12 hours later. Oh yeah and Tui hair oil.​