My ex sends me happy updates all the time

[Aveena]

ok, this is the guy that I broke up with because

1. he had been married 50-11 times (we started as a fling that lasted 3 years erplexed)
2. he had an alleged child overseas that he didn't check to see about ... nothing
3. his mother didn't want us to get married

ok we break up.... 3 MONTHS later he's married again and new wife is pregnant.

So anyway... the baby just turned two y/o and he sends me the latest photos yesterday. He sent me the pictures of the house they bought... the investment properties... tells me about the new car - the new this- how great this/that is...

Hey I'm happy for him.... but always a little i dunno... I guess I'm like if things are going so great for him, why did I dump him again? Was I too judgmental?

His life is great... mine.. just ok

 

[SleekandBouncy]

He'd been married several times, he has a child oversees that he doesn't see? Sounds like a bum, you probably did yourself a favor in the long run.

I'd block his emails.

 

[rdm]

Send him a email and politely ask him to stop emailing you and calling you. Then, don't open is emails and get caller ID. If you get a voice mail from him, hit "delete".

Stop torturing yourself.

 

[CandiceC]

Just because he sends happy updates doesn't mean things are really all that great. Does he send you updates when things are going wrong? Probably not. Lol.

 

[Aveena]

He'd been married several times, he has a child oversees that he doesn't see? Sounds like a bum, you probably did yourself a favor in the long run.

I'd block his emails.

Thanks... I guess I just needed to hear that because the pictures really got to me yesterday. I'm going to have to figure out a way to block his emails. erplexed

 

[CarefreeinChicago]

A girlfriend saw the guy that dropped the bomb on me earlier this year in the public aid office i was like thank you i dodged a bullet on that one (no offense to anyone getting assistance but this was the most arogant fool)

 

[Aveena]

Send him a email and politely ask him to stop emailing you and calling you. Then, don't open is emails and get caller ID. If you get a voice mail from him, hit "delete".

Stop torturing yourself.

He doesn't call me. He doesn't have my number

 

[Aveena]

Just because he sends happy updates doesn't mean things are really all that great. Does he send you updates when things are going wrong? Probably not. Lol.

No no updates when things aren't going well. I had to smile on that one... hehe

 

[SvelteVelvet]

Yes, block that **** from being able to contact you, if he was really so happy he wouldn't have time to think about you or anyone else. For some people they aren't happy with their 'happiness' unless they have someone to rub it in their face, stop being his 'someone'.

 

[Syrah]

ok, this is the guy that I broke up with because

1. he had been married 50-11 times (we started as a fling that lasted 3 years erplexed)
2. he had an alleged child overseas that he didn't check to see about ... nothing
3. his mother didn't want us to get married

ok we break up.... 3 MONTHS later he's married again and new wife is pregnant.

So anyway... the baby just turned two y/o and he sends me the latest photos yesterday. He sent me the pictures of the house they bought... the investment properties... tells me about the new car - the new this- how great this/that is...

Hey I'm happy for him.... but always a little i dunno... I guess I'm like if things are going so great for him, why did I dump him again? Was I too judgmental?

His life is great... mine.. just ok

Why are you 2 still friends?? I mean, is there a true friendship there - or is more like Carrie and Big where it's a physical & emotional connection there that isn't quite a friendship, but has become that by default?? And what happens if wifey number 3 doesn't work out for him - are you going to be there to be his back-up plan AGAIN???

I dunno - I'm asking the question, do you want to be with him??

Maybe he's trying to show you "look what you let go".

But just because he's got a kid, a house and a car doesn't mean you were judgemental. Kids, homes and cars does not a relationship make.

And what are you getting out of this relationship?? If you're giving the support and he's got none to offer up, I'm thinking it's time to tell him to kick rocks. He's married now with kids - maybe he ought to be focusing on making a marriage work, for once, rather than flaunting what he's managed to accumulate all over the place.

 

[Aveena]

Yes, block that **** from being able to contact you, if he was really so happy he wouldn't have time to think about you or anyone else. For some people they aren't happy with their 'happiness' unless they have someone to rub it in their face, stop being his 'someone'.

At first I thought… well good for you! (bless his heart) good riddance. Now, it’s turned into regrets and what if’s. I remind myself of my standard(s) which I was even starting to question… I mean I don’t wish bad on his marriage and I hope he lives up to the obligations he’s undertaken.

If only I can get my heart to cooperate with my mind *sigh…l.. I’m sure I’ll get over it.. maybe I’ll report his email as SPAM.. hehe

 

[Aveena]

Why are you 2 still friends?? I mean, is there a true friendship there - or is more like Carrie and Big where it's a physical & emotional connection there that isn't quite a friendship, but has become that by default?? And what happens if wifey number 3 doesn't work out for him - are you going to be there to be his back-up plan AGAIN???

I dunno - I'm asking the question, do you want to be with him??

Maybe he's trying to show you "look what you let go".

But just because he's got a kid, a house and a car doesn't mean you were judgemental. Kids, homes and cars does not a relationship make.

And what are you getting out of this relationship?? If you're giving the support and he's got none to offer up, I'm thinking it's time to tell him to kick rocks. He's married now with kids - maybe he ought to be focusing on making a marriage work, for once, rather than flaunting what he's managed to accumulate all over the place.

We aren’t friends. We are just friendly, like if I saw him walking down the street I would greet him but we don’t hang out. I have no desire to hang out with him because he is married. Even though I thought the marriage was a joke at first I still respected it.

Oh - he’s on wife number 4 (I feel sorry even putting this much effort into the discussion) but it is REALLY bothering me.

My mother wanted me to marry him!!!! I didn’t so much.

Oh and yes he is trying to show me what I let go. He knows how to push my buttons.

 

[Syrah]

We aren’t friends. We are just friendly, like if I saw him walking down the street I would greet him but we don’t hang out. I have no desire to hang out with him because he is married. Even though I thought the marriage was a joke at first I still respected it.

Oh - he’s on wife number 4 (I feel sorry even putting this much effort into the discussion) but it is REALLY bothering me.

My mother wanted me to marry him!!!! I didn’t so much.

Oh and yes he is trying to show me what I let go. He knows how to push my buttons.

If you're not friends - why continue to maintain a relationship (via email or whatever). You can cut him out and still be cordial to him and his family if you run into him at the mall or at the gas station. But the longer you hold on to something, the more he is able to "get to you".

Cut him loose.

If he's not contributing SOMETHING, what's the point??? You're just giving him an outlet to boost his esteem while he's giving nothing in return.

 

[*KP*]

I agree with all the others...cut him off completely. You don't have a reason to keep in contact with him especially if he is just trying to rub your face in it.

I think you really did dodge a bullet with that one. How do you know he hasn't got someone else on the side now?

Focus your energies on finding someone great and forget about this one.

 

[tuffCOOKiE]

I think you should block his emails. When you block it, can he tell you blocked it?

I have this same type of relationship w an ex and seriously, it kills me.

I didnt dump him, he dumped me. But, seriously, overtime I realized that he seriously isnt for me. He;s on a diff track than I am.

But he does call me ONLY when things are good. He calls me maybe once every quarter. Last quarter he bought a benz, the quarter before that, his father bought him an investment property (We're 22). He's chillin.

But I realized that he has no substance to him. I dont have (nearly) as much things as he does but I shrug because I was never really happy w him. (and I got a new boo

 

[Much2much41]

I don't know. How do you know he's doing it to taunt you? Some people like to spread their joy. I get along with most of my ex's, and wouldn't mind hearing how well they are doing every now and then. What is going on in their lives has no bearing on me. What is meant for me is meant for me as far as I'm concerned. I'd just congratulate him, wish him well, and K.I.M. If it bothers you, then I suppose you can just block his emails, but when he gets no reply, he's going to know he got to you. Create the life YOU want, then you won't be bothered by his. I live by the motto, "Never let them see you sweat". He would NEVER know he got to me. EVER!!!

 

[loved]

I sent an email to an ex to let him know that I was cutting contact w/ my exes, that it wasn't personal, and that I wished him the best - just needed to cut ties w/ the past. Really, it was just him. A couple of my exes are some of my best friends. I just got tired of pretending like I wanted to be his friend but I didn't want to have a drawn out discussion about my reasons.

I created a filter so that his emails go to a box w/ his name that I do not check - not quite ready to send them to trash.

 

[Aveena]

I don't know. How do you know he's doing it to taunt you? Some people like to spread their joy. I get along with most of my ex's, and wouldn't mind hearing how well they are doing every now and then. What is going on in their lives has no bearing on me. What is meant for me is meant for me as far as I'm concerned. I'd just congratulate him, wish him well, and K.I.M. If it bothers you, then I suppose you can just block his emails, but when he gets no reply, he's going to know he got to you. Create the life YOU want, then you won't be bothered by his. I live by the motto, "Never let them see you sweat". He would NEVER know he got to me. EVER!!!

This is how I've always operated hehe... And he is a very generous person. His doesn't have bad intentions (I don't think). I think you are right in the sense that the reason why it bothers me is because I haven't gotten mine... or at least what is for me seems to suck in comparison... Anyway, I feel better today. dressed a little special looking good trying to feel better and do better.

 

[MissYocairis]

ok, this is the guy that I broke up with because

1. he had been married 50-11 times (we started as a fling that lasted 3 years erplexed)
2. he had an alleged child overseas that he didn't check to see about ... nothing
3. his mother didn't want us to get married

ok we break up.... 3 MONTHS later he's married again and new wife is pregnant.

So anyway... the baby just turned two y/o and he sends me the latest photos yesterday. He sent me the pictures of the house they bought... the investment properties... tells me about the new car - the new this- how great this/that is...

Hey I'm happy for him.... but always a little i dunno... I guess I'm like if things are going so great for him, why did I dump him again? Was I too judgmental?

His life is great... mine.. just ok

This right there....PROOF positive that good moral character and integrity DO NOT play a part in financial success. You don't need them to get the material wealth that you want. I know PAH-LENTY of LECHEROUS, SLIMY PEOPLE who are doing better than well...beyond good....they are doing FABULOUS....but, that doesn't speak to their spiritual and emotional wellbeing and contribution. But, I think it's an interesting study for us all. Apparently, going for yours, barring illegal activity, really seems to speak more toward the sweat equity we put in....rather than how well-meaning we are.

 

[Aveena]

This right there....PROOF positive that good moral character and integrity DO NOT play a part in financial success. You don't need them to get the material wealth that you want. I know PAH-LENTY of LECHEROUS, SLIMY PEOPLE who are doing better than well...beyond good....they are doing FABULOUS....but, that doesn't speak to their spiritual and emotional wellbeing and contribution. But, I think it's an interesting study for us all. Apparently, going for yours, barring illegal activity, really seems to speak more toward the sweat equity we put in....rather than how well-meaning we are.

true... I call them UNSAVORY PEOPLE. But, you know what? me and my intergrity will do just fine. I didn't sell out for the cash and I'm proud of that. Moral character and integrity still rank 1 & 2 on my list of qualities I'm looking for in a mate. Being able to provide is on the list too don't get me wrong.... but I can't trade one for the other. erplexed

 

[MissYocairis]

true... I call them UNSAVORY PEOPLE. But, you know what? me and my intergrity will do just fine. I didn't sell out for the cash and I'm proud of that. Moral character and integrity still rank 1 & 2 on my list of qualities I'm looking for in a mate. Being able to provide is on the list too don't get me wrong.... but I can't trade one for the other. erplexed

Love that. And you know what? You never know....he may not be able to lay his head down peacefully at night feeling as though he is the best person he can be....he may be tormented in his soul over his shortcomings and his material things are a way to soothe that and we all know that is not enough. So don't feel like he has better things than you. He obviously feels you have many things better or he wouldn't be trying to impress you.

 

[Farida]

I know this couple.

They have been married about 5 years or so.

If you look at their myspace pages they look so happy. They have several love notes and pictures and updates of their lives.

If you know them, they are miserable as heck. I don't even know why they stay together. They try to be all cutesy in e-mails and profiles but it is just over-compensation for an unhappy marriage.

He has all these kids and failed marriages, trust me, if it isn't going badly right now, it will. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but it will.