My dating desire

[LifeafterLHCF]

Before I get too deep in this thread I'm looking for suggestions that are doable..

I have been dateless for 4 years.I desire to date again but I feel like I can't let me guard down.Maybe it's my issue of being taking advantage of and I don't want my heart shattered again.It's quite scary to be open with people esp men...I read about some of you ladies who have men who love you and you ladies come in all shades and shapes..You ladies are getting married and your men aren't embarassed to show you off and show he cares by doing a actual wedding..

Any pointers from ladies who are either married or have been in long term relationship and marriage is in the horizon please respond.How did you get over any fears or what you did to put yourself out there to date properly..Im going to art mususm jazz night in 2 weeks so pointers are much needed.

 

[Livingmylifetothefullest]

I second her request.

 

[Mizani_Mrs]

I would say that you are scaring yourself all for nothing. Based on your tone, it is obvious that you are not emotionally ready for a relationship at this time. Until you can work on your trust issues. So i would say at this point...only look for "friendships" (and i dont mean friends w/benefits). and stay FAR away from slimy losers who character is all about sexin/playin/ballin/womanizing and you wont get hurt. If/when you meet someone...get to know him as a friend and as a person first. All men show their true colors after a few weeks/months or so.... so this is a foolproof way to get to know a man and what he wants, before you give him your heart and give him the panties. If you don't put that man as the center of your earth very early in the relationship then you won't be all brokenhearted and lost when you figure out that he's not boyfriend material. its that simple, dont overcomplicate it.

and a challenge... try to select a friend based on his character and how he treats you...not based on how fine he is.... (and i dont mean date someone repulsive...i mean date someone who you would normally consider 'aiight') you will see a big positive change in your personal/love life.

 

[LifeafterLHCF]

I would say that you are scaring yourself all for nothing. Based on your tone, it is obvious that you are not emotionally ready for a relationship at this time. Until you can work on your trust issues. So i would say at this point...only look for "friendships" (and i dont mean friends w/benefits). and stay FAR away from slimy losers who character is all about sexin/playin/ballin/womanizing and you wont get hurt. If/when you meet someone...get to know him as a friend and as a person first. All men show their true colors after a few weeks/months or so.... so this is a foolproof way to get to know a man and what he wants, before you give him your heart and give him the panties. If you don't put that man as the center of your earth very early in the relationship then you won't be all brokenhearted and lost when you figure out that he's not boyfriend material. its that simple, dont overcomplicate it.

and a challenge... try to select a friend based on his character and how he treats you...not based on how fine he is.... (and i dont mean date someone repulsive...i mean date someone who you would normally consider 'aiight') you will see a big positive change in your personal/love life.

Thank you for this information..I will be honest I was a little upset by you saying I'm not ready to date..but I desire information and sometimes it comes out a little harsh by others..I have never had a good clean relationship so this information isn't new but it will be new to implement...I want to be normal lady in a relationship..ie not giving the goods up too soon..not being a helpmeet early..etc...

I'm hoping when I go to this art musuem in a few weeks that I will be confident enough to not allow a man to make me feel inferior and also to feel good enough for a man to want to talk to me..I know I have to get out there because I won't ever find a man on my college campus..

 

[caltron]

Dating is tough for anybody. Everyone has their own different approach, but I feel that the way to get over those jitters is to date a lot. Like anything practice makes perfect. Maybe you could go out with a few "nice" guys you really aren't attracted to just for lunch or dinner. After a few dates you'll get into kind of a groove and not be so nervous anymore when someone you really like comes along. A lot of the pressure will be off because they are guys you really weren't feeling anyway. Sometimes some of the guys you thought were not your type end up pleasantly surprising you. It's also good in helping you figure out what type of guys you like and learning how men tick.

Some people think this approach is selfish or can't handle it, but it worked for me.

 

[Mizani_Mrs]

awww sweetness, i didnt meant to upset you. No woman should feel inferior when speaking to a man because we all possess something that they deeply desire. You hold the power girl! take some time for yourself, and then get out there and meet someone wonderful!!!

Thank you for this information..I will be honest I was a little upset by you saying I'm not ready to date..but I desire information and sometimes it comes out a little harsh by others..I have never had a good clean relationship so this information isn't new but it will be new to implement...I want to be normal lady in a relationship..ie not giving the goods up too soon..not being a helpmeet early..etc...

I'm hoping when I go to this art musuem in a few weeks that I will be confident enough to not allow a man to make me feel inferior and also to feel good enough for a man to want to talk to me..I know I have to get out there because I won't ever find a man on my college campus..

 

[LifeafterLHCF]

awww sweetness, i didnt meant to upset you. No woman should feel inferior when speaking to a man because we all possess something that they deeply desire. You hold the power girl! take some time for yourself, and then get out there and meet someone wonderful!!!

No your good.I think it's still some of my self-issue that make me so sensitive to somethings..but God won't let me run anymore from things.I'm slowly learning that just because I had garbage in the past in men doesn't mean that I'm not a good person..if anything it will give me a better apprciation for being a good female friend and after hearing some of the tales about women on this site I also know now just because you are the video girl shape doesn't exempt you from mess of men.