Much Older Man\Younger Woman - Asked My Advice.. What's Your Take?

[Hairsnob]

I can’t share too many details but the 50 yr old is just a friend who wanted to talk about a decision he was about to make.

50 yr old man – no kids – wants kids – kinda high profile job in the entertainment industry – He looks no older than 40 though.

26 yr old female – no kids – just graduated from college – not sure what she does but friend mentioned she can sing well

They’ve known each other for about 2yrs but only dated as of recent months. He’s thinking of getting serious with her because he wants kids really bad. Yes, men have ticking clocks also. But he is unsure if she’s “ready” or if it’s the right thing to do because of her age… doesn’t want to rob her of anything.

It was hard to hold my tongue on what I REALLY wanted to say but I basically just asked if he felt they had a lot in common. He said yes, she’s more mature than the normal woman her age. I really wanted to say YOU ARE OLD ENOUGH TO BE HER FATHER!!! but I didn't.

I asked why he waited so long to decide to have kids and he said because of his job he never had time. That's no excuse but if that's what he says... So I kinda understand why he needs to date a younger woman but I asked why not date a woman in her 30’s or 40’s at least who are much closer to his age?? He said because they’re not as in shape and BORING!!! He corrected himself and said I was an exception after I said a big EXXCUUUUUUSE ME???!!! (referring to me not being boring or out of shape) LOL

Seriously though, the thing I really wanted to tell him is that when I was 26 I couldn’t imagine dating a 50 yr old. Heck, I can't even imagine it now LOL. But that’s just me. I REALLY wanted to hint about whether she had a motive because she sings but I didn't bring it up. He’s no producer or anything like that but he just knows a lot of people. I told him that he knows in his heart and she knows if they're ready for that and he kind of looked like that answer didn't help him. Heck, I don't even know what that means but I didn't know what to say.

Anyway, what’s your advice to this guy friend??? I don’t want this thread to get into whether or not he’s too old to have a child because that’s a different topic. I would never give him advice to leave or stay because it’s up to them both but he really sounded like he was confused. Of course I have no idea how SHE feels about it because it’s only his one-sided story.

Have any of you dated someone that much older than you and care to share your experiences or give advice for him? It was funny that the pic of Rocsi and Eddie Murphy came out and I thought about him

 

[Bublin]

I think he should be discussing it with his girlfriend.

Is he just wanting kids or does he love her and want to get married first?

If she is just dating him for status and money the likelihood is that she won't want to have kids with him?

If she genuinely likes him and is just waiting for him to take the relationship to the next level then it's all good.

I don't think the age difference is anyone's business but theirs.

His reasons for only dating women in their 20's is ridiculous and immature (more like they don't want to date him )

 

[Hairsnob]

I think he should be discussing it with his girlfriend.

Is he just wanting kids or does he love her and want to get married first?

If she is just dating him for status and money the likelihood is that she won't want to have kids with him?

If she genuinely likes him and is just waiting for him to take the relationship to the next level then it's all good.

I don't think the age difference is anyone's business but theirs.

His reasons for only dating women in their 20's is ridiculous and immature (more like they don't want to date him )

LOL at the bolded!!

I agree on discussing it with his girlfriend but for some reason he wanted my take on it. I hate trying to give advice with only one side of the story though, especially with a man so it was hard.

You make a good point about her intentions and if she will have kids. I asked if he wanted to marry her and he said they're not at that level yet. He's just wondering if he should get serious with her first and then go to the next level of marriage/children. I guess he needs to move quicker because of his age.

Thanks for your response!!

 

[firecracker]

I dated men as old as my father when I was younger. I am still attracted to older men but hell I'm old now so no thank you to the 80 year olds! LOL Well unless I want a senior discount on Wednesdays at cheap eats and Ross. LOL

Hopefully he isn't one of those older guys that prey on younger women because a woman his age won't put up with him. His reasoning for not dating women his age is kinda telling though. LOL Tell your friend he needs to find a suitable wife first and foremost.

 

[Hairsnob]

I dated men as old as my father when I was younger. I am still attracted to older men but hell I'm old now so no thank you to the 80 year olds! LOL Well unless I want a senior discount on Wednesdays at cheap eats and Ross. LOL

Hopefully he isn't one of those older guys that prey on younger women because a woman his age won't put up with him. His reasoning for not dating women his age is kinda telling though. LOL Tell your friend he needs to find a suitable wife first and foremost.

I can't imagine bringing an 80 year old to the family BBQ LOL. Unless he's a billionnaire like Hugh Heffner and I'm in the Will LOL. Yuck though!!

I wondered myself about if he just didn't want to deal with women his age.

But are you saying you went as old as the 24 yr age difference before? I like older men too but to me older is like 4-6 yrs older and I wonder if I could ever meet anybody that much older to knock me off my feet. Maybe I'm missing the boat with Viagra being so readily available now. Just kidding.

Great advice on focusing on a suitable wife instead of the rush to have a kid. He probably feels in a rush because that number 50 probably scared him. Who knows.

Thanks!

 

[firecracker]

Hairsnob yes I dated men 25 years my senior until one of my grandpa's turned 72 in 2006. That is when I said oh hell to the nawl its time to date men my age again. LOL

10-12 years age difference isn't that bad imo.

 

[Hairsnob]

@Hairsnob yes I dated men 25 years my senior until one of my grandpa's turned 72 in 2006. That is when I said oh hell to the nawl its time to date men my age again. LOL

10-12 years age difference isn't that bad imo.

firecracker LOL You got that girlie with the 25 yrs. And I agreer, ten years I can do but more than that I don't know about that. But I guess it's really how they treat you anyway. I just can't do the dinner @4pm and bedtime by 7pm LOL!!!!

 

[ambergirl]

So basically he needs a uterus, and preferably one in a nice body that's not boring. Mkay.

Whatever, I think the age difference at this point is still managable but every year he creeps closer to 60 and 70 while she's strolling into her prime will make it feel and look even wider.

 

[Hairsnob]

So basically he needs a uterus, and preferably one in a nice body that's not boring. Mkay.

Whatever, I think the age difference at this point is still managable but every year he creeps closer to 60 and 70 while she's strolling into her prime will make it feel and look even wider.

That's funny the way you worded that but you're right about him just needing a uterus. I should mention to him that the young, nice body may not be so nice after having a kid and it may backfire and we'll see how bored he gets after that.

I just couldn't imagine one of my sons bringing home a woman that was my age so it's hard for me to imagine it from the guys side too. That woman would get a huge side-eye from me

 

[Daeuiel]

I'm much more blunt than you. I would have told him flat out that she's too young for him and if he is feeling nervous or wary about taking things to the next level, then it's for a reason. He needs to be with someone on his own level. Doesn't have to be someone who is 50 but at least not somebody who just got out of college and hasn't even developed her own life and career independent of him. It's a recipe for disaster.

 

[Hairsnob]

I'm much more blunt than you. I would have told him flat out that she's too young for him and if he is feeling nervous or wary about taking things to the next level, then it's for a reason. He needs to be with someone on his own level. Doesn't have to be someone who is 50 but at least not somebody who just got out of college and hasn't even developed her own life and career independent of him. It's a recipe for disaster.

Daeuiel I have to learn to stop worrying about softening the blow because sometimes I feel like if I'm totally honest they will shut down. Everything you said is exactly how I felt so I should have said that. I haven't talked to him since then but the next time if he's still feeling nervous I'm going to mention exactly how you said it being for a reason.

Thank you soooo much!!

 

[hopeful]

Daeuiel I have to learn to stop worrying about softening the blow because sometimes I feel like if I'm totally honest they will shut down. Everything you said is exactly how I felt so I should have said that. I haven't talked to him since then but the next time if he's still feeling nervous I'm going to mention exactly how you said it being for a reason.

Thank you soooo much!!

Whelp I'm glad you didn't tell him how you feel. I think he already knows how you feel but is hoping to get your approval. He knows he's wrong and that she's too young but he still don't care , he wants a young woman and that's his business IMO. I just wouldn't want to get into that convo explaining how much better an older woman would be, to me it's like talking to a black man who prefers white women, they still gone do what they want but just want to justify it, usually at the expense of black women or in his case older women. They never admit to any flaws in themselves such as immaturity or racism. So yeah, I couldn't be bothered coaching a 50 year old man.

 

[ArrrBeee]

If he wants kids so bad then maybe he should adopt or find a surrogate mom and an egg donor. He shouldn't just push the issue because of timing. Rushing what may not need to be is a recipe for disaster.

 

[Lymegreen]

At 50 years old he should be well aware of the risks of entering into such a relationship. Sounds to me that he just doesn't care and wants what he wants while he can STILL get it.

I'm sure he's observed the body changes in women as they matured. Also, if they've known each other for 2 years that means that he's been eyeing her when she was 24 and he was 48. Please!

He's grown. She's grown. I wouldn't say a word about my disapproval. I would just let him know that I thought it was very risky (if he asked my opinion).

ETA:

I'm assuming the women is beautiful or has some physical attribute that he wants in his children? But, come on.... in less than 5 years this woman would have long since lost interest.

 

[naturalmanenyc]

Does he not realize that having kids will likely mean his 26 year old girlfriend will soon also be "out of shape", presuming she agrees to have babies with a 50 year old man.

I understand the aspect of wanting kids; however, he needs to find a suitable wife and discuss adoption or a surrogate if his wife cannot have kids. A 50 year old man with a 26 year old woman reads like trouble waiting to happen. I'm also suspicious of a 50 year old man with no kids who has presumably never been married. Red flag.