Military town

[phynestone]

I'm moving to a military town within the next few weeks for school and work. Any advice on possibly dating a man in the service? I know I shouldn't rush or worry about the future, but dang! I want to get married and start a family.

 

[ms.mimi]

I was raised in a military town. So from a young child to an adult I watched my friends parents cheat on each other, find out about Dad's other family, get moved around, domestic violence, get divorced, etc...Some couples were great but it wasn't common place. Just be careful. Research the man thoroughly and with social media, the internet and affordable background checks makes it easier to do. Many (not all) of the men have girlfriends, fiancees and wives & families back home or different states. Deployment is extremely stressful. Think single parent, then regular parenting,single parent, then regular parenting,single parent, then regular parenting for years.
I was determined not to get serious with any of them but I partied my butt off, dated a few (not seriously though), made loads of friends and had a blast.

 

[NOEChic]

I was raised in a military town. So from a young child to an adult I watched my friends parents cheat on each other, find out about Dad's other family, get moved around, domestic violence, get divorced, etc...Some couples were great but it wasn't common place. Just be careful. Research the man thoroughly and with social media, the internet and affordable background checks makes it easier to do. Many (not all) of the men have girlfriends, fiancees and wives & families back home or different states. Deployment is extremely stressful. Think single parent, then regular parenting,single parent, then regular parenting,single parent, then regular parenting for years. I was determined not to get serious with any of them but I partied my butt off, dated a few (not seriously though), made loads of friends and had a blast.

those things are not just limited to military families. There are civilians that have whole other lives and wives. For every military family where cheating is involved by the military member I can name one for where the cheater is a civilian or it's a civilian family.

I know a few people that were in double digits before they got their first deployment or still haven't deployed.

I hate when people make generalized statements about military members.

 

[ms.mimi]

........nvm

 

[divachyk]

Just be yourself and if it's meant to be, it will be.

Deployments are stressful and can cause strain if you let it just like any long distance relationship.

You have to enter the relationship knowing you all will be apart during periods of time, even holidays and special occasions.

The military talks family first but this doesn't always hold true. There are times when the military does what's best for the mission before doing what's best for the family. This is no different than any other company except military members can't just up and quit.

My dh and I, along with many others, have made it work and so can you. Good luck!

 

[MamitaLolita]

I know I shouldn't rush or worry about the future, but dang! I want to get married and start a family.

The best advice I can give you is to focus on your life first. If you look for love you'll also look for trouble regardless of where you are. Stay above the clouds and think with a clear mind. Don't trust anyone any more than your brain tells you to.

Good luck

 

[FearlessNik]

I was raised in a military town. So from a young child to an adult I watched my friends parents cheat on each other, find out about Dad's other family, get moved around, domestic violence, get divorced, etc...Some couples were great but it wasn't common place. Just be careful. Research the man thoroughly and with social media, the internet and affordable background checks makes it easier to do. Many (not all) of the men have girlfriends, fiancees and wives & families back home or different states. Deployment is extremely stressful. Think single parent, then regular parenting,single parent, then regular parenting,single parent, then regular parenting for years.
I was determined not to get serious with any of them but I partied my butt off, dated a few (not seriously though), made loads of friends and had a blast.

those things are not just limited to military families. There are civilians that have whole other lives and wives. For every military family where cheating is involved by the military member I can name one for where the cheater is a civilian or it's a civilian family.

I know a few people that were in double digits before they got their first deployment or still haven't deployed.

I hate when people make generalized statements about military members.

I don't think anyone here was making a generalized statement. There's always that love/ hate relationship between the servicemen/ women and the civilians.

 

[Oneprettypa]

I'm in the military, if you have any specific questions inbox me....

 

[NOEChic]

I don't think anyone here was making a generalized statement. There's always that love/ hate relationship between the servicemen/ women and the civilians.

when the first words out someone's mouth is most/some military men cheat, that's a generalization. And I personally have no problem with civilians. My ex was a civilian and most of my good friends are civilians.

 

[fifi134]

when the first words out someone's mouth is most/some military men cheat, that's a generalization. And I personally have no problem with civilians. My ex was a civilian and most of my good friends are civilians.

How is saying 'some' a generalization? If she said 'all' or 'most' then I'd agree with you, but she didn't.

 

[SuchaLady]

Girl you'll be married in no time for sure. They do not play about getting married

 

[HanaKuroi]

I am not going to say what I really want to. All I know is cheating is seen in both the civilian world and the military life.

I am a military brat and married to an active military spouse. I have had a great marriage and wonderful experiences. My parents have been married for over 45 years. I have been married 21 years.

Please feel free to PM me.

Is this base Army, Air Force, Marines, Navy?

Sent from my iPad using LHCF

 

[GeorginaSparks]

Girl you'll be married in no time for sure. They do not play about getting married

why do they get married so quickly and often?

 

[curlicarib]

why do they get married so quickly and often?

When I was active duty, one of my biggest problems was keeping my young troops from getting married. Seemed like every d*mn weekend one of them was coming to my Chief talking about they in love and MUST marry this one or another girl. SMH. My poor chief was like a like a worn out den mother.

One of my worst moments was when one of my junior, Junior Enlisted showed up on Tuesday morning after a 72 with the oldest, skankiest, ugliest woman I ever saw and told me this was his "bride". I swear, I wanted to beat the boy in public.

 

[phynestone]

........nvm

I'd like to hear your thoughts.

 

[Farida]

why do they get married so quickly and often?

The few that I know got married quickly IMO because they were faced with the prospect of death and a nice girl by their side at the time. I would see several rush to get married when they got orders to deploy during the height of Iraq/Afghanistan. Also, unlike many other guys their age, these military guys did not live at home and stood to receive housing/allowances for their families.

Some of the ones I knew are still married and happy, but many others got divorced really quickly. Military spouse life is not for the faint of heart.

 

[MzSwift]

Yup, facing death or to receive extra benefits.
It also seems to be the culture of the force, though, to be married and to marry young.

Another thought, some military members are given a lot of responsibility (depending on your "job") at a young age. Many can also progress to sergeant/supervisory ranks around 22-24 years old. It would make sense that a person would also feel more established and seek to find a partner.

I was in the Air Force, I can't speak for other branches.