Mentally Transitioning... (Not for the easily offended)

[Netta1]

Anyway, I am just wondering does it get better. I went to wash and did my pre-poo and saw my kinks come back and a part of my heart got really sad.
Okay, Im going to be honest and say I even cried.
I cried because I felt like I was going back to mentally where I used to be. I cried because I loved the attention and looks
I cried because I felt resentful of the struggle to detangle and make the NG look 'presentable' by coporate standards.
I cried because I am almost tired of "transitioning".
My plan was to transition for two years or until i was SL stretched with Natural hair, but I don't know ladies.
I am feeling like I need to piss or get off the pot.
I though after the 6-9 month milestone it was going to get easier both physically and mentally?

Anyone else go through this? Is this that bad? Y is my mind doing this?
Any comments, concerns, whatever are appreciated. Am I just not strong enuff to be a natural 4-something?

You poor dear you! It does get better MUCH better, Give yourself time before you Judge yourself too harshly..it is a process (for some) with highs and lows...but you can make it..If you want to where there is a will...

Trust me I was the LAST person you would think to go natural AND stick with it-6 years later and I am still just as happy and nappy...

Word to the wise: If you can avoid it do not surround yourself with people who are anti-nappy, this will only make you feel worst if you are already insecure.

Oh and get this book:

http://www.amazon.com/Lets-Talk-Hair-Personal-Consultation/dp/0939183021

 

[CheLala13]

I think surrounding yourself with natural hair and positive views on natural hair really help that mental transition. When I was transitioning, I also had a roommate that was doing the same thing so we would talk for HOURS about our natural hair and what it meant to us in the bigger world. We would share all the comments (good and bad) we had when we told people of our adventure to go natural.

It really helped to have that buddy. I also went on LHCF every single day lol. Looking at threads of all different types and lengths of natural hair really made me start to appreciate our hair. It's a process and it's not wrong to have doubts or get scared. But truly challenge the things you have been taught.

 

[melodies815]

Wow. I read your post and wanted to reach through my screen and hug you. I know that's not possible, but still...man...what a beautiful post! So moving...

I think I might have been just about to go through what you are experiencing when I up and decided to cut off all my hair. I recall looking at my head while were still in Britain, shaking my head, "No," and then asking DH if he would mind me cutting that night. I don't know what I was saying, "No," to, but it must have been serious because I had only an inch of hair 5 minutes later.

My hair is a mix of 4a and 4b. I don't struggle with it to detangle unless I let it dry fully. I learned my lesson the first time and will not do that again! With shea butter and some kind of leave-in, I get nice twists or twist-outs, and I don't have truly remarkable shrinkage. I get compliments on my hair all the time now, and I never really did when I was relaxed. The only thing I might complain about is that it does not hold a press for anything...never did as a child, and I know when the day comes that I want to wear it straight, I will feel something and may even do something to help my straight-resistant hair. Not sure yet...but I may have a post just like this when I reach a new stage in my journey. You encourage me to be courageous. Thank you for that.

On the other hand, my sister's hair is completely 4b natural, she stresses over it, and will not leave the house unless it is pressed or in braids. Her hair, unlike mine, holds heat well and stays straight after it is pressed until she washes it...which might be 5-8 days later. I envy that about her hair. Her shrinkage is massive, and it's hard to believe that her hair is 2 times longer than the afro that shows up after she washes. I love her afro!! I don't think she loves her afro. She really has sadness about her hair at times, and that makes me sad because I feel that if she paid more attention to the benefits of her hair, the drawbacks would become background chatter. I just don't focus on what I don't like...yet. Maybe that is why I am having fun. erplexed

I have nothing to offer except a virtual hug. I wish we all lived close to one another or that there was some special light that shines over the home of a LHCF member so we would know where we are in the world and could offer support when needed. I know your hair is beautiful and I pray that, with time, you come to embrace all that it does and that you love it regardless of your perceptions of others' responses to your beautiful, healthy, natural, long hair. Men...they can be so fickle. While a great response from them feels good, they really don't matter in the long run. A man who goes to church with us walked up to me last week when I was wearing a particularly big and fuzzy twistout and asked, "How does your husband feel about your hair? He's such a perfectionist." I didn't understand what he was really asking, so I just said, "Well, I think he loves my hair because each lock is doing exactly what a twisted lock of black hair does. It's perfect." I started to turn away but said over my shoulder, "Yeah...he loves it because it is perfect. It matches his personality exactly. How lucky am I?" I laughed and left quite happy. I think he said something else, but I wasn't listening anymore.

Have a wonderful weekend, and again...thank you so much for sharing with us. Your words were beautiful, and they touched us all!

cj