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SincerelyJane
Well, am no expert and we don't have that much money anyway.
I'll say this:
All of us have this attitude that we don't have to please anyone to get what we want or need in life. Maybe it's arrogance or a sense of entitlement.
We all have great manners and treat people with respect. But, we don't "have" to please anyone to get what we want or need. Things happen. If they don't, then they will.
As a woman I would need my husband not to have this air about him. Most of my brothers are married, and their wives are on a leash, metaphorically speaking.
I'm not sure how one would engineer this need to please in a man that was brought up in a privileged environment.
Also, I think the girls in our family were "saved" by patriarchy, as their were social limits to our behaviour. But that's a different conversation...