Men Cry in the Dark- time sensitive

[WellnessVerandah]

Are you looking to work on the health of your relationship and get a better understanding of how men think?

Below is a link to a FREE Kindle download of a book from radio personality and best selling author, Michael Baisden of Baisden Live. It is FREE for a limited time as a Father's Day gift (no catch, no gimmick). Usually these free downloads only last for a few days so pass it on. If the link doesn't work, go to Amazon.com and put the title in, it should say $0. I gain nothing from this but get the posts from his page and generally share.

http://bit.ly/1u46NF4.

 

[Prinncipality]

Thank you...

 

[Phoenixsky13]

Thanks I was able to get it for free

 

[caribeandiva]

Thanks OP!

 

[MzLady78]

Thanks, OP! Michael Baisden is hit or miss for me, but at least I won't have spent any money if it sucks.

 

[MissJ]

Thank you.

 

[Kinkyhairlady]

Read this book years ok. It was ok.

 

[Babysaffy]

Thanks OP!

Got it now, just had to search via the UK store itself rather than your link

 

[StLucianSweetie]

Thanks. Got my copy.

 

[RoundEyedGirl504]

Got my copy, thanks OP!

 

[Rnjones]

Thanks OP

Sent from my ASUS Transformer Pad TF300T using LHCF

 

[MixedBerry]

I wish men would read books on how we think. We're always doing the researching and studying up on these dudes. <sigh>

 

[Fine 4s]

They don't stress relationships like we do so they learn by trial and error. We steady trying to get it right with less error lol...

 

[Seeking8Rights]

They don't stress relationships like we do so they learn by trial and error. We steady trying to get it right with less error lol...

So true, which is why I stopped trying to get it right. Over the past year, I've adopted the same mentality of going about things by trial and error and it's made my life easier--less stress, worry, disappointment.

Men can be detached and it works for them--we work harder for the detached man. But I've learned, they will do the same when we detach ourselves.

 

[MzLady78]

So true, which is why I stopped trying to get it right. Over the past year, I've adopted the same mentality of going about things by trial and error and it's made my life easier--less stress, worry, disappointment.

Men can be detached and it works for them--we work harder for the detached man. But I've learned, they will do the same when we detach ourselves.

Hey, I feel like I haven't seen you around in awhile.

I really need to work on the detachment thing. I'm too emotional, too sensitive, too "heart on my sleeve".

 

[Seeking8Rights]

Hey, I feel like I haven't seen you around in awhile. I really need to work on the detachment thing. I'm too emotional, too sensitive, too "heart on my sleeve".

Hey mzlady78! Yeah I've been lurking mostly.

11 years of marriage, 6 of which were me giving the most care, the other 3 figuring me out and being selfish (as a result of the former), and the last year I've seen my nonchalant and detached attitude send the man I loved more than myself to his knees (literally).

 

[Holla]

Men can be detached and it works for them--we work harder for the detached man. But I've learned, they will do the same when we detach ourselves.

They do work when we are detached but I find that when I become unhinged, I'm almost through with the relationship. That's not a good thing for me…..us…unless I am defining it differently. How are you defining detached?

 

[Seeking8Rights]

They do work when we are detached but I find that when I become unhinged, I'm almost through with the relationship. That's not a good thing for me…..us…unless I am defining it differently. How are you defining detached?

My detach is basically keeping the emotions to a minimum, channeling that energy in productivity, and having a criteria for when I do show or express my emotions. If he does something that bothers me, if it's not major (which now is a rarity), then I don't bring it up because I know that I'll have my day where I may do something and want to give him the "huh??!" look.

The less I nag or turn into feelings, the more he comes to me with his feelings and that's when I choose to response on his level with emotions. When he doesn't, I don't. And I do care, but that doesn't mean I can't be selective and objective about when and how I show it. This is freedom within a marriage to me.

This has worked for me though based upon my husband and our dynamic.

At one point I was detached and out the door, but why? I am a kept woman, he takes care of everything, my paycheck is my money and his is ours. He doesn't run the streets, is a good father, and has grown to be man after his wife's heart.

It was more than a little hellish in the beginning, but once I controlled and rolled back my "give a damn" aka emotions, his nose became wide open.

I wish I could share more, but trust me when I say I have a lot of freedom that most women of my type would love to have and I don't have to do much. Just provide a meal or two, sex, look excited when he shares all his goals, give an ear when he wants to vent, and take him to a couple of my spots I frequent (he still says I'm full of adventure) every now and then.

I take care of me first physically and emotionally, he reaps the benefit. I don't go to him with my issues or problems, that's what my girlfriend circle is for...we all operate this way.

 

[ladysaraii]

My detach is basically keeping the emotions to a minimum, channeling that energy in productivity, and having a criteria for when I do show or express my emotions. If he does something that bothers me, if it's not major (which now is a rarity), then I don't bring it up because I know that I'll have my day where I may do something and want to give him the "huh??!" look.

The less I nag or turn into feelings, the more he comes to me with his feelings and that's when I choose to response on his level with emotions. When he doesn't, I don't. And I do care, but that doesn't mean I can't be selective and objective about when and how I show it. This is freedom within a marriage to me.

This has worked for me though based upon my husband and our dynamic.

At one point I was detached and out the door, but why? I am a kept woman, he takes care of everything, my paycheck is my money and his is ours. He doesn't run the streets, is a good father, and has grown to be man after his wife's heart.

It was more than a little hellish in the beginning, but once I controlled and rolled back my "give a damn" aka emotions, his nose became wide open.

I wish I could share more, but trust me when I say I have a lot of freedom that most women of my type would love to have and I don't have to do much. Just provide a meal or two, sex, look excited when he shares all his goals, give an ear when he wants to vent, and take him to a couple of my spots I frequent (he still says I'm full of adventure) every now and then.

I take care of me first physically and emotionally, he reaps the benefit. I don't go to him with my issues or problems, that's what my girlfriend circle is for...we all operate this way.

How long did it take you to develop this and become comfortable with it?

This is outstanding advice btw

 

[topnotch1010]

How long did it take you to develop this and become comfortable with it?

This is outstanding advice btw

Outstanding indeed!!

 

[MixedBerry]

But still, it sucks that we must always "dial it back a bit", suppressing our true self for the sake of sanity and harmony. Why can't men dial it up a notch becoming more sensitive and emotional? <sigh> we really are superwomen to be able to change and adapt like this...

 

[Seeking8Rights]

How long did it take you to develop this and become comfortable with it? This is outstanding advice btw

About 6-7 years from the point of saying "I do". It took a year or so for me to get comfortable and not have second thoughts (wondering if my actions were hurting him). If a man truly loves you, he can and will be resilient to anything. The me now is the final product of going through the fire and I am so thankful for the process, from the tears, vulnerability, insecurity, etc. I love myself even more because of it.

I believe a woman who loves herself first and more is VERY attractive to a man.

 

[SincerelyJane]

About 6-7 years from the point of saying "I do". It took a year or so for me to get comfortable and not have second thoughts (wondering if my actions were hurting him). If a man truly loves you, he can and will be resilient to anything. The me now is the final product of going through the fire and I am so thankful for the process, from the tears, vulnerability, insecurity, etc. I love myself even more because of it.

I believe a woman who loves herself first and more is VERY attractive to a man.

Yeah I agree. Kinda tangential but it reminds me of my friends situation. They are not together anymore, but she did all kinds of stuff for this man. Financially, emotionally, etc. When she was going through a rough time, he wasn't there for her. She asked him why and he said, "I knew you'd be good, you're strong, you can handle it."

I told her you gonna learn to just sit there and let those men cook. They need to solve their own problems, really for their own sake. You think you're helping him but actually you'll be babying him and he will resent you for it. He'll look to you as a mothering figure who provides for him and protects him, as opposed to a woman he's supposed to love and protect.