Meeting Someone When You Lease Expect

[Relentless]

Hello Everyone,

Sometimes being single gets to me. It seems like everytime I meet someone as a potential mate, it doesn't work out and I am back to square one. I keep hearing that when you truly go on with your life and don't trip about it anymore, that's when that special someone comes.

Has any of you met your SO when you totally least expected to?

 

[spelmanlocks]

Yes, me and my fiance met at a time when I totally wasn't looking for anyone, well I was looking to get back with my ex but I wasn't looking for anyone else to date. I attended a birthday party with a friend who was dating the birthday boy and only attended for moral support since she didn't want to go alone. I met my fiance there nearly four years ago. I'd actually left the party, went to another party, and then came back to that party which is when I met him.

 

[cocoberry10]

Yes, me and my fiance met at a time when I totally wasn't looking for anyone, well I was looking to get back with my ex but I wasn't looking for anyone else to date. I attended a birthday party with a friend who was dating the birthday boy and only attended for moral support since she didn't want to go alone. I met my fiance there nearly four years ago. I'd actually left the party, went to another party, and then came back to that party which is when I met him.

This is a beautiful story!

 

[spelmanlocks]

This is a beautiful story!

Thanks

 

[ONAMSHN]

Yes, me and my fiance met at a time when I totally wasn't looking for anyone, well I was looking to get back with my ex but I wasn't looking for anyone else to date. I attended a birthday party with a friend who was dating the birthday boy and only attended for moral support since she didn't want to go alone. I met my fiance there nearly four years ago. I'd actually left the party, went to another party, and then came back to that party which is when I met him.

Sounds like FATE to me!!!

 

[Isis]

Yes, me and my fiance met at a time when I totally wasn't looking for anyone, well I was looking to get back with my ex but I wasn't looking for anyone else to date. I attended a birthday party with a friend who was dating the birthday boy and only attended for moral support since she didn't want to go alone. I met my fiance there nearly four years ago. I'd actually left the party, went to another party, and then came back to that party which is when I met him.

Thank you for sharing your experience. I love hearing stories like this.

I feel that most, if not all of our serious relationships start out with someone we "happen" to meet. It happens when we let go of the need to meet someone. I believe it's always Divinely orchestrated, including those serious relationships that do not work out.

 

[locabouthair]

Hello Everyone,

Sometimes being single gets to me. It seems like everytime I meet someone as a potential mate, it doesn't work out and I am back to square one. I keep hearing that when you truly go on with your life and don't trip about it anymore, that's when that special someone comes.

Has any of you met your SO when you totally least expected to?

I havent met "the one" yet, Im single and still young, 23. But I will say whenever I met a potential SO, it was when I wasn't looking for anyone at all.
So I do believe that's true.

I think yoou should just focus on loving yourself, doing all the things you ever wanted to do like travel, go back to school,etc. and that's when he'll find you.

 

[Afrolinda]

I havent met "the one" yet, Im single and still young, 23. But I will say whenever I met a potential SO, it was when I wasn't looking for anyone at all.
So I do believe that's true.

I think yoou should just focus on loving yourself, doing all the things you ever wanted to do like travel, go back to school,etc. and that's when he'll find you.

I'm single too and this is what I'm doing the last couple of years: travelling, doing some postgraduate studies while I'm working, being busy with me, myself and I.....

 

[Maa Maa omo mti]

has anyone known any person who expected to be in a relationship and they end up being in one? I mean someone who sits around waiting for it.

I'm assuming everyone go about their business and life without waiting for the one to come into their life. I do believe that maybe some people think about it more then others.

However my point is everything about life is unexpected, or happens when you lease expect it. Some things more obvious than others.

So yes I have all my past relationships even friendships.

 

[Colliecole]

I met my SO in a Yahoo R&B/Jazz music chat room. I was bored at home, looking for some new jazz suggestions, and he sent me an IM. I almost didn't respond because I really wasnt trying to chat with some perv, but his message was funny so I did. Come to find out he lived in Detroit, and I was all the way here in Cali. I didnt expect to chat w/him more than once, and I really didnt think we ever meet. But we chatted a few times, that lead to phone convo, and finally he flew out to see me. We talked on the phone daily and travelled back and forth visiting eachother for 2 years, and now we live together in Cali. I've known him now almost 3 years, lived w/him since feb this year, and I'm pretty sure that's my soul mate. I really wasn't looking for him when we met. In fact, I was fine w/ being single. I had NO CLUE that we'd be the way we are today.

 

[MizzBrown]

I always seem to meet people when i think i look my worst. Which I guess is a good thing so they'll know what to expect. I met my ex when i had a bad cold, runny nose,needed a perm and had minimal makeup and a work uniform on. Was NOT expecting anyone to pick me up.

It's always when i have to run somewhere w/ a hat on or no makeup or ashy legs and someone wants to look a little harder or start up a convo.

So yeah, when You LEAST expect it, here he comes, grinnin' and everything.

 

[Relentless]

Thank you ladies for your responses.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

I have to get more in this frame of mind. Because after coming from a recent heart-break, I have kind of just thrown in the towel. It's so discouraging sometimes.

Don't get me wrong, I like being single, and being able to have the freedom of coming and going as I please is nice...but I still need a man! Not in the "needy" sort of way, but I need a man to talk to, to make me feel special, etc. I want a man in my life. I'm not one of those "I don't need a man" type women. I'll gladly admit that I want/need a man.

But right now, it's not looking too hopeful, and after just seeing my little sister get married before me, it's starting to look less and less hopeful. Not to say however that I'm "old" (I'm only 26), but I'm getting antsy.

I don't mean to sound negative...I'm just being real. To answer the OP's question, I do believe however that when you're NOT looking you do meet people that you didn't expect to find. That's how I met my first love ("the heartbreaker") over a year ago. It's also how I met this new recent guy. I just went to a friend's party and met him. We instantly hit it off. Too bad he lives in a different state though.

Oh well...these days I'm just TRYING to keep myself as busy as possible, and I'm doing things that I know I wouldn't be able to do if I were married/attached/tied-down. It's fun and enjoyable, but I still want a man!

But single ladies...trust me....KEEP doing what you're doing. Keep going on with your life. HAVE a life. I think a lot of guys prefer women who have a life and live full and enjoyable lives with or without them. I don't know any man who likes to be around a woman who depends on him solely for fulfillment, and enjoyment in life.

 

[tinkat]

I met mine when I least expected it...It was at college during orientation. I was obviously not looking for a boyfriend since it was my first year, why would I want one. Funny thing was when I was in high school I always was mad bc I did not have a SO...looking back I am relieved that I did not have one. We met bc my roommate and another friend I met in college went to the same highschool as my SO and we all started hanging out. It was instant chemistry once we got alone and we have been together 4 years now. I am soo in love!

 

[bLackButtaFly]

I recently met someone who has major potential and it was when I was looking in another direction. I was stoked b/c a hookup I thought had potential (who lives in another state) was supposedly coming in town the next weekend and wanted to see me. I went out to drinks w/ the girls adn was gabbing about it all night. We went to a bar after dinner and I saw the potential SO walk in, but wasn't really thinking anything of it. He was really cute, so I was like nah. But then the sangria started speaking to me, and i was like whatever I'm just gonna bump into him adn see what happens. I did and he didn't seem upset, and he bought me and my friends and pitcher to share and we started talking. We really hit it off, and we started dating. It's weird b/c you can go to the same place do the same thing, like me and my friends have been going to dinner and having drinks on friday night forever, and I never meet anyone, adn then all of a sudden something clicks. Hopefully he ends up being more then just a potential *crossing fingers*

 

[Caramela]

I met my husband shoveling snow. I totally was NOT expecting to meet anyone, and didn't expect him to be the son of my next door neighbor. But we had a great conversation and it ended there only I couldn't stop thinking about him. I tracked this man DOWN (do you hear me??!) I looked at tax records to find his last name, did google searches, tried to find him on myspace.com - everything!!...couldn't find him for anything. I even tried to talk myself out of it... like, well, maybe i was feeling him more than he was feeling me Anyway, to make a long story short, I made one final attempt and looked him up on facebook (by the suggestion of one of my male friends. See, my husband was in his senior year at a university and he told me this during our snow shovel conversation, so I was able to look up his graduating class) I went thru so many pages looking for him and because of his last name, he was like LAST on the list (and the whole time I'm thinking to myself I must be crazy :crazy: I wasn't able to find him on all my other searches because I was mispelling his first name before, but once I found the correct spelling I was able to find him on myspace and send him a message.
The rest is history. We met up again, had more amazing conversations and just really hit it off.
He is an amazing person and I'm so happy I met him! We had a SHORT courtship! We were married within 6 months of meeting eachother and I couldn't be happier!
I must admit I'd come into a content season in my life and was ok with being single, AND I had shut all of those other "doors" (ie, past deadend relationships). Once I'd done that and focused on being happy and attracting positive things in my life (and also after I had decided to obey the gospel and attend to my spiritual life) things litterally fell into place.
You never know when you will meet The One... mine showed up at my front door!

 

[FlowerHair]

For me it was the other way around. I had been single for many years when I met my ex. I sat down one day and "asked" for a relationship, and in less than 2 months I was in a relationship. So, for me doing nothing doesn't work!

 

[andreab]

I met my husband when he towed my car. I just got my car out the shop but it was still acting funny. I had to go to school for an important meeting. I came back out and the car wouldn't start. Called for tow truck. I was trying to get someone to pick me up because I didn't want to ride with no tow truck driver. Well we talked to who way across town. I gave him my phone number. He called two days later. Rest is history.

 

[Bunny77]

has anyone known any person who expected to be in a relationship and they end up being in one? I mean someone who sits around waiting for it.

I'm assuming everyone go about their business and life without waiting for the one to come into their life. I do believe that maybe some people think about it more then others.

However my point is everything about life is unexpected, or happens when you lease expect it. Some things more obvious than others.

So yes I have all my past relationships even friendships.

I agree with this post 100%!!!!

I dunno, I'm just about tired of relationship-related cliches these days. I mean, OF COURSE most people find someone when they least expect it... I can't think of ONE time that I went somewhere and said, "Today, when I go to this place, I will meet my future boyfriend!!!!"

Nobody does that. Well, I mean, very few people do that.

So yes, by all means, go on about your life and just do your thizzle, but be open to the possibilities of love that you might find. There's nothing wrong with hoping that you will find someone as you go about your everyday life and nothing wrong with being proactive (putting yourself in positions to meet more people).

 

[ladylibra_30]

I always seem to meet people when i think i look my worst. Which I guess is a good thing so they'll know what to expect. I met my ex when i had a bad cold, runny nose,needed a perm and had minimal makeup and a work uniform on. Was NOT expecting anyone to pick me up.

It's always when i have to run somewhere w/ a hat on or no makeup or ashy legs and someone wants to look a little harder or start up a convo.

So yeah, when You LEAST expect it, here he comes, grinnin' and everything.

this IS funny!

 

[spelmanlocks]

I agree with this post 100%!!!!

I dunno, I'm just about tired of relationship-related cliches these days. I mean, OF COURSE most people find someone when they least expect it... I can't think of ONE time that I went somewhere and said, "Today, when I go to this place, I will meet my future boyfriend!!!!"

Nobody does that. Well, I mean, very few people do that.

So yes, by all means, go on about your life and just do your thizzle, but be open to the possibilities of love that you might find. There's nothing wrong with hoping that you will find someone as you go about your everyday life and nothing wrong with being proactive (putting yourself in positions to meet more people).

Although I met my boo at at a time I didn't expect too, I agree with the bottom of your post. I do think women have every right to be proactiv in finding a man. My fiance's sister met her husband through a dating service and they've been married for over ten years so it can work.

But I think the OP wanted confirmation that we can meet our mate when we least expect it and this is what these stories here are giving her. I don't think she was implying you can't meet a man through proactiv measures.

 

[Bunny77]

Although I met my boo at at a time I didn't expect too, I agree with the bottom of your post. I do think women have every right to be proactiv in finding a man. My fiance's sister met her husband through a dating service and they've been married for over ten years so it can work.

But I think the OP wanted confirmation that we can meet our mate when we least expect it and this is what these stories here are giving her. I don't think she was implying you can't meet a man through proactiv measures.

I gotcha.

I think I was responding more to my own general experiences hearing that statement than the OP's question.

 

[january noir]

This is long but I have to set it up for you...


May 2002:
Kim (a work acquaintence) met Tim and after dating shortly, decided to get married. Tim’s room mate along with other friends, were in the wedding party.

I had gotten invited to attend the wedding with other work associates. I had never met Tim face-to-face before the wedding and didn’t know any of his friend’s either.

The wedding was beautiful and the reception was very nice, but I did not and would not remember any other quests other than my work mates. Though I am usually the social butterfly, I stayed in my seat, for the most part, the entire reception.

Dan and his friends played in a band. Some of the musicians are very good and they performed that night at the reception.

I stayed and listened to about 3 songs. It was getting late and I left the reception and headed home because I had a long drive.

July 2005
Kim and Tim throw a Fourth of July cookout and I attend. Since I am a good friend, I become privy to the tradition that Tim and the boys get together and play on the deck when the sun sets It’s a lot of fun. We ate and drink and listened to the band. I was dating someone at the time, but they never had time nor wanted to make the time to attend social engagements with me. I attended this shindig alone.

December 2007
I was dating a man that I have known for over 20 years. Over a period of 20 years, we dated off and on.

I kept trying to give a relationship with him a chance because he was a wonderful and caring man. Well, I finally accepted that were never going to be compatible in areas of importance to any committed relationship. We were not spending time together like couples should and I decided it was time to end it.

Kim and Tim always throw an annual holiday party. I was invited, as always, but II didn’t want to go. I was feeling down about having so many failed relationships and just wanted to stay home and watch some Netflix movies. Kim begged me to come. She wanted me to spend the night and everything. I finally relented, reluctantly, and decided to go.

The house was decorated really pretty and the guests started arriving. The majority of the guests were Tim’s friends and I was the only friend of Kim’s from work that showed up.

I pretty much stayed glued in the family room in front of the fire place drinking wine and making small chit chat with a couple that sat nearby. The doorbell rings and Tim says out loud to the crowd, “Bob’s here!”

Well Bob is the drummer in Tim’s band and he ended up sitting by me most of the evening. I didn’t remember him by sight and I didn’t remember his name though we had been in each other’s presence several times over the past 5 years. We started chatting and struck up some great topics of conversation. We laughed a lot and he would ask me if he could get me anything when he refreshed his drink or got something to eat. He never left my side... I didn't think anything of it.
Bob is not someone I would have ever been attracted to looks-wise, but he was very cool and a funny guy. He had this quirky sense of humor and a was turning out to be very nice man.

The night ended with just the 4 of us; Kim, Tim, Bob and me.
Kim didn’t want Bob to drive after drinking and invited him to spend the night. He said, yes. Kim and Dan went to bed. It was 2am and Bob and I stayed up to watch TV and talk for a while.

We were both sitting on the couch watching the Honeymooner’s marathon.

I got up to get a throw because the fire had died down and it was cool in the family room. I came back to the couch and sat down. I turned to ask Bob if he wanted a blanket and as I swung my head in his direction, he leaned over and kissed me! I mean planted one (and I nice one at that) square on my mouth. I was stunned, but I kissed him back. It was very nice.

We’ve been together as a couple ever since that night.

Later I found out that Bob had expressed to Tim several times over the years that he thought I was nice and he thought I was cute too. Bob was not planning to come to the party that night, but when he was told that I was going to be there, he changed his plans…. and the rest is history.

 

[NYAmicas]

I met my husband shoveling snow. I totally was NOT expecting to meet anyone, and didn't expect him to be the son of my next door neighbor. But we had a great conversation and it ended there only I couldn't stop thinking about him. I tracked this man DOWN (do you hear me??!) I looked at tax records to find his last name, did google searches, tried to find him on myspace.com - everything!!...couldn't find him for anything. I even tried to talk myself out of it... like, well, maybe i was feeling him more than he was feeling me Anyway, to make a long story short, I made one final attempt and looked him up on facebook (by the suggestion of one of my male friends. See, my husband was in his senior year at a university and he told me this during our snow shovel conversation, so I was able to look up his graduating class) I went thru so many pages looking for him and because of his last name, he was like LAST on the list (and the whole time I'm thinking to myself I must be crazy :crazy: I wasn't able to find him on all my other searches because I was mispelling his first name before, but once I found the correct spelling I was able to find him on myspace and send him a message.
The rest is history. We met up again, had more amazing conversations and just really hit it off.
He is an amazing person and I'm so happy I met him! We had a SHORT courtship! We were married within 6 months of meeting eachother and I couldn't be happier!
I must admit I'd come into a content season in my life and was ok with being single, AND I had shut all of those other "doors" (ie, past deadend relationships). Once I'd done that and focused on being happy and attracting positive things in my life (and also after I had decided to obey the gospel and attend to my spiritual life) things litterally fell into place.
You never know when you will meet The One... mine showed up at my front door!

That's a great story. I loved how you tracked him down and now you're married.

I'm a bit weird because I wanted to be single and I never wanted to get married-Im married now. I met my DH while I was not looking but I was bored and he stoked my interest so I hung out with him-year and a half later we're married.

 

[AmilLion]

I think meeting that special someone come in all forms. I know girls who go out with the purpose of meeting someone, end up in long term relationships with these ppl, just as much as I know of ppl who do not go out looking for a relationship and find that special someone.

My last serious relationship, I had gone to a concert, I wasn't looking to meet anyone, but hell, I knew it was grounds to meet someone nonetheless. However, I went with the intentions of enjoying the show and on my way home that night, I so happened to have ran into him.

The last guy I was dealing with, yes I was hitting the social scene because I started to get lonely and I did want to meet someone. I met him on the prowl LOL.

 

[Relentless]

Thank you so much ladies for your responses. I just wanted some feedback. I have been proactiv in looking at times and I do know that no one goes out saying "today, i think i will meet my husband."

My primary reason for asking is because sometimes, I believe that I harp of think about it too much, hence possibly hendering anything from happening and interrupting divine intenvention.

The overall feedback is great and has helped me!

I loved all of the stories!

 

[AmilLion]

Thank you so much ladies for your responses. I just wanted some feedback. I have been proactiv in looking at times and I do know that no one goes out saying "today, i think i will meet my husband."

My primary reason for asking is because sometimes, I believe that I harp of think about it too much, hence possibly hendering anything from happening and interrupting divine intenvention.

The overall feedback is great and has helped me!

I loved all of the stories!

I think opening yourself up to social situations/settings and being outgoing helps. But you never know where you might meet that special someone. Heck, it could be on your way to that social setting you met the man at your dreams, lets say at the gas pump. Could have said something witty to you, made you smile, he might ask, if he could make you smile some more. You might let him.

 

[SweetNic_JA]

This is long but I have to set it up for you...

...Later I found out that Bob had expressed to Tim several times over the years that he thought I was nice and he thought I was cute too. Bob was not planning to come to the party that night, but when he was told that I was going to be there, he changed his plans…. and the rest is history.

This is such a cute story, but man, Bob was aggressive! I'm sure he got tipsy on purpose, just so he'd have a reason to stay. They set you up girl

 

[Farida]

I was single and I wasn't actively searching.

We had a class together and I could tell he was so interested, but I resisted him because I wasn't sure I was looking for a relationship.

It worked out for the best. There was no desperation, no overwhelming desire to make something broken work.

Years later, we're getting married in '08.