Married Ladies: Is Your Marriage/Relationship Boring?

[Glib Gurl]

So, this weekend Dutchie and I went to go see Date Night and the first part of the movie shows how boring and mundane their married life is . . . even their date nights were pretty lame . . . of course, they then try to do something different and have a series of hijinks which comprises the rest of the film . . . .

That got me to thinking about that Chris Rock joke: "You have two choices in life: You can be married and bored, or single and lonely. Ain't no happiness nowhere."

I know that not everyday is going to be super-exciting and that routine natually breeds boredom - but I'm wondering how you married ladies feel about and deal with this. Is your relationship "boring"? Do you like it that way (cuz Lord knows you definitely don't need/want drama and craziness)? What do you and dh do to keep things interesting? Has adding children to the mix shaken things up a bit -- and if so, for better or worse?

Speak on it!

 

[MD_Lady]

...That got me to thinking about that Chris Rock joke: "You have two choices in life: You can be married and bored, or single and lonely. Ain't no happiness nowhere."

I know that not everyday is going to be super-exciting and that routine natually breeds boredom - but I'm wondering how you married ladies feel about and deel with this. Is your relationship "boring"? Do you like it that way (cuz Lord knows you definitely don't need/want drama and craziness)? What do you and dh do to keep things interesting? Has adding children to the mix shaken things up a bit -- and if so, for better or worse?

Speak on it!

IMHO, there is a whooooooooooooooooooole lot of truth to the bolded part of Chris Rock's quote. Again, IMO/E, most people don't react to the DH who is the first person they see in the morning and the last person they see at night the same way they do to the SO who they only get to see on weekends. Everything (no matter how exciting it was in the beginning) becomes routine at some point and marriage is no exception. IMO, the best approach is for BOTH people to acknowledge it (as a reality), accept it (as normal), and work on breaking the monotony (in both sexual and non-sexual ways- keeping things fun isn't just about what's going on in the bedroom). It's nothing to be afraid of, but it's DEFINITELY not something to be ignored.

 

[Supervixen]

Ummm, I'm interested where this thread will go...

 

[Glib Gurl]

Alright now . . . 46 people have looked in this thread . . . c'mon ladies . . . spill!

 

[Ariana4000]

Chris Rock is the truth. I'm married and bored. And I appreciate it. No more baby mama drama, cheating, having babies while your with me, STD scares, women calling, mental abuse, break ups and make ups, etc. I'm done. I'm bored and I like it. My excitement is family trips and going to Target. Kids do not make it anymore interesting for me. They just give us something to do so we are not as bored. Boring is good.

 

[Lucie]

Hell yeah!!! I pick fights with my husband just to make the house more lively sometimes.

Of course many people will publicly/privately dispute how on and popping their relationship is because there is such a fixation on being different/better than everyone else. I will not say that my life is miserable because that's just not true. I am quite secure in my relationship. Even at 30 almost 31 y.o. my husband stays in the living room when we are both home and I spend my time in the bedroom on Farmville, surfing the net, reading, LOL. When it is time for us to spend time together we do. It's what works for us.

 

[Ladybelle]

Yeah, our marriage is boring. We have the occassional marital dispute, but other than that - our relationship is pretty predictable. We get excited by the opportunity to have a night out without the kids and most of the time we don't do anything that breaks the excitable meter. Our ideal date night is dinner & the bookstore or movies at home!!!

I like it. I don't miss clubbing, I don't miss trying to catch a guy, I don't miss the drama. I like "boring".

Of course, we try to mix things up a little bit but it doesn't take much to do that - a nice new piece of lingerie or a trip is enough to do that and I'm grateful.

I'm really not bored, I'm happy.

eta: we also try to miss each other sometimes.

 

[Arcadian]

Boring? No. Comfortable? yes.

If you're going to be with someone for the long haul, there will be some lulls in between the exciting times. This is why you should be with someone who's not just all looks and no brain.

For a marriage and or relationships to work, you MUST be friends with the one you're with because every relationship has its ups and downs. its the way it is.

-A

 

[Fab_Nikki]

Boring, yeah I guess compared to some single friends. However we're happily married. I'll take that any day over being in the dating scene. I'm not built for it anymore. LOL

 

[LivinMyLifeLikeItsGolden]

I'm not married, but just wanted to see what married women had to say

I know I would rather be bored with the one i love, that have a night of excitement with people who may not be in my life tomorrow.

me and my best friend (of 11 years) were laughing about how when we're with other people we're always taking pictures and doing "funner" things, but when were together we do what people would define as technically boring, but for us, those are the best and funniest times.

just my pre-marital two cents!!!

 

[Nay]

The things that we do together aren't always "exciting," can be kind of routine, but I wouldn't say that we're over here looking at each other going, Damn, I'm bored up in here.

There's always something to do. We enjoy things like car shows, festivals, movies, concerts, historic home tours, museums, air shows, trying new eateries, hiking nature trails. One of our FAVORITE things to do is just getting in the car, putting on some good music, and driving a far distance on some scenic road. To someone else that might sound boring, but not to us because we enjoy simple pleasures.

So I don't agree with Chris Rock at all. I don't think that marriage equals boredom.

But, again, my sweetie and I genuinely enjoy each other's company, and we don't need a lot of bells and whistles to make us happy. Just the other day, I was telling him that our relationship is like a snow globe. It's basically him and I in our own little simple world, but I wouldn't change a thing.

 

[FoxxyLocs]

it's not "exciting", but i'm not bored. we have a routine that gets us through the week, and then on weekends we hang out and go on dates. we enjoy each others company, so we're happy. if we get bored we try to take a vacation or something.

 

[LilMissRed]

boring? no. comfy? yes. its a good thing

 

[QueenTiffany]

That got me to thinking about that Chris Rock joke: "You have two choices in life: You can be married and bored, or single and lonely. Ain't no happiness nowhere."

I would think that I was married to the wrong man if we were camped out bored with each other And I guess it depends on an individual's definition of "bored" - our marriage is a lot of things (i.e. sexy, happy, sweet, funny, steady, intense, supportive) but "boring" isn't included in the equation - we've been together 10 years and married for almost five and being that we plan to be together until we kick the bucket - we'd have some changes to make and some work to do if we ever get "bored."

 

[MD_Lady]

Hell yeah!!! I pick fights with my husband just to make the house more lively sometimes.

Of course many people will publicly/privately dispute how on and popping their relationship is because there is such a fixation on being different/better than everyone else. I will not say that my life is miserable because that's just not true. I am quite secure in my relationship. Even at 30 almost 31 y.o. my husband stays in the living room when we are both home and I spend my time in the bedroom on Farmville, surfing the net, reading, LOL. When it is time for us to spend time together we do. It's what works for us.

That sounds EXACTLY like DH and me!!!

 

[JustKiya]

Boring? Ick, no. Routine? Sometimes.

It's interesting - in my mind, a relationship can only be boring if it's a relationship of two boring people. If you and your husband are creative, alive, curious, intelligent people - life is never boring, it's just peaceful.

 

[JFemme]

Boring? Ick, no. Routine? Sometimes.

It's interesting - in my mind, a relationship can only be boring if it's a relationship of two boring people. If you and your husband are creative, alive, curious, intelligent people - life is never boring, it's just peaceful.

thanking you, for serious....

 

[frizzy]

Lucie called it!!

 

[itismehmmkay]

Yep we're both bored.
I think both of us are used to a lil fire and drama and are trying to get settled since this is all so new. I do notice though that we both enjoy the quiet, comfy moments.
Le Sigh...we'll see.

 

[gabulldawg]

Honestly, I was much more bored when I was single. I love having someone to come home to (or who comes home to me), someone to cook for, someone to fall asleep with, someone to wake up to in the morning, someone to enjoy everyday life with, someone to plan a future with, someone to go grocery shopping with, etc.

Boring? No. Comfortable? yes.

If you're going to be with someone for the long haul, there will be some lulls in between the exciting times. This is why you should be with someone who's not just all looks and no brain.

For a marriage and or relationships to work, you MUST be friends with the one you're with because every relationship has its ups and downs. its the way it is.

-A

I do think that as time goes on we may have our "down time," but I hope that we can deal with that and move on without it affecting us too much. We haven't really had to deal with that yet, since we have only been married for a short time (and also living together for a short time).

The things that we do together aren't always "exciting," can be kind of routine, but I wouldn't say that we're over here looking at each other going, Damn, I'm bored up in here.

There's always something to do. We enjoy things like car shows, festivals, movies, concerts, historic home tours, museums, air shows, trying new eateries, hiking nature trails. One of our FAVORITE things to do is just getting in the car, putting on some good music, and driving a far distance on some scenic road. To someone else that might sound boring, but not to us because we enjoy simple pleasures.

So I don't agree with Chris Rock at all. I don't think that marriage equals boredom.

But, again, my sweetie and I genuinely enjoy each other's company, and we don't need a lot of bells and whistles to make us happy. Just the other day, I was telling him that our relationship is like a snow globe. It's basically him and I in our own little simple world, but I wouldn't change a thing.

ITA especially with the bolded. One thing that I really love about my DH is that he doesn't need to be running the town to have fun. We can have fun cuddled up together on the bed watching TV. We have both expressed to each other early on that we really enjoy the fact that we can just chill with each other and still find ways to have fun. With him I'm always laughing and I love that!

 

[itismehmmkay]

I do think that as time goes on we may have our "down time," but I hope that we can deal with that and move on without it affecting us too much. We haven't really had to deal with that yet, since we have only been married for a short time (and also living together for a short time).

I definitely missed the memo. Congrats

 

[Maracujá]

This is a nice thread. I really liked how Ariana4000 put it, that's exactly what I want in life.

 

[likewtr4chklit]

No, we're best buddies so whatever we do together we enjoy. One of our fav things to do together is watch tv shows and movies that he downloads online and puts on to the WD player. He's really good at finding HD copies of popular shows and new movies.

 

[Robin41]

Hubby and I have been married for almost 13 years and yep, it gets boring sometimes but boring is not necessarily a bad thing. Our kids are grown, we're financially settled, we enjoy each other's company better than being with anybody else in the world, we like the same things, finish each other's sentences.

I guess that can get boring over the years but we've paid our dues and deserve this kind of ease we have with with each other. I wouldn't trade it for the world.

 

[frizzy]

Robin called it!!

 

[exoticmommie]

I feel very blessed that I can honestly say no. My DH is my BFF. We do everything together. I remember Me and DH was at friends house. And we were playing around and giggling. And a woman who first assumed we were younger than we looked, then assumed we were newlyweds. Said to us, "awww, newlyweds, I remember those days. I have been married for 2 years". My friend looked at her and said, "they have been married for 6 years". Her mouth dropped. This was before the kids, so I do admit, that things aren't as lively as they were. Can't just be coloring when and where you want anymore.

JustKiya hit on the nail though, as always.

 

[snillohsss]

What is considered boring? My husband and I travel together regularly, we party together every other weekend, we go out to dinner regularly. We have children that keep the house live. We have our disagreements and arguments. We get it on a few times a week.

Im not bored in the least. I honestly can't see what I would be doing differently if I were single except for spending time with a bunch of catty women...and who wants that mess?

 

[snillohsss]

I feel very blessed that I can honestly say no. My DH is my BFF. We do everything together. I remember Me and DH was at friends house. And we were playing around and giggling. And a woman who first assumed we were younger than we looked, then assumed we were newlyweds. Said to us, "awww, newlyweds, I remember those days. I have been married for 2 years". My friend looked at her and said, "they have been married for 6 years". Her mouth dropped. This was before the kids, so I do admit, that things aren't as lively as they were. Can't just be coloring when and where you want anymore.

JustKiya hit on the nail though, as always.

My husband and I get that a lot!! They think we are newlyweds, and when we say no...we've been married for 13 yrs, and have kids...their jaw drops to the floor.

You are right, you have to be friends first, and my husband is my best friend.