Maddy The Hypocrite

[HappyMadison]

1. My child is mixed, but all these white and Mexican women with every post designating their children are special because their children are mixxed makes me want to slap the snot out of them. I even have some cousins who don't even have relationships, let alone children, that fetishize mixed children. They are snot nosed uglass Rugrats just like the rest of them and the hashtags and the men who comment under them are mad creepy. And disproportionately under baby girl pictures *Kanye shrug* Their mixxedness doesn't pacify ugly.

2. So being that clearly, at one point I was open to dating outside my race, is it wrong to turn my nose up at BM/WW couples? Absolutely not. Especially if it has that Austin twang of pretentiousness...fight me, ashy.

3. N*****, I says that. In the closed company of my best friend and SO ONLY and have not one social hang up. Anyone else can jump up to get beat down after this town hall meeting. Come find me, because your butt ain't there. I also talk lewd in private but frown about it in mixed company. Like I told one black guy when we were playing spades in mixed company and he was using it freely (so you know poop talking and politics, "time and place for everything, my brother," lol.

Just on Instagram looking at my cousin's wife hashtag "mixxed babies" or whatever tf for the 8th time today.

It's okay. Let it out. It is quite therapeutic lol.

 

[Atthatday]

Let it out. It's going to be ok. E-hugs!!!

 

[Lylddlebit]

I actually see this trend a lot in my friends who date, have children with or are married to non black men.

Respectfully, what I notice about them(it may or may not apply to you), is that the mixed kid/relationship thing makes them feel self-conscious. As if they compromised on their "blackness"(for lack of a better term). So, as a response to that, they either magnify the area of "black" they are "good at or embrace", or distain similar circumstances that mirror what they are doing or rejecting. Examples:

• black women who have interracial relationships/children who are militant about natural hair and with bite your head off when you want to straighten or go back to a perm. That is usually the biggest display I see of it.
• black women who have strong opinions on interracial relationships of every mixed variety except their own
• black woman who say there are no good black men out there but let their non black men treat them any kind of way(becoming a mistresss, cheating, mistreatment in general but excuse that)
• black women who are really proper in front of non black folks but have the strongest mouth I have ever heard behind closed doors
• Black women who let their non black friends make them the example of the black negative stereotype
• Black women who think that healthy happy flourshing black relationship aren't authentic.
• Black women who take the non black stereotypes and imitate them harder than non blacks.
• Black women who want the relationship with the white dude or non black dude, but behind closed doors have the black dude they are sleeping with.
• Black women who go extra hard about something explicitly identified as black(Black sorority, hbcu attendance, a program or organization that is pro black)
• Exercise extreme opposite of things identified as black

Those are some of the more popular examples I see, but the list goes on and on.
I actually applaud you for admitting your areas. I have seen much worse. However all of my black friends who either date, have kids by or are married to non black men have at least one area that they are over the top on to prove blackness, distain interracial stuff, or beat themselves up about. It's fascinating. However I can probably look at any woman and if I can pinpoint the area that makes her feel uneasy they will have their own area that they overcompensate in that make them feel more secure in general, it just easier to notice that kind of thing in other people.

 

[YvetteWithJoy]

I actually see this trend a lot in my friends who date, have children with or are married to non black men.

Respectfully, what I notice about them(it may or may not apply to you), is that the mixed kid/relationship thing makes them feel self-conscious. As if they compromised on their "blackness"(for lack of a better term). So, as a response to that, they either magnify the area of "black" they are "good at or embrace", or distain similar circumstances that mirror what they are doing or rejecting. Examples:

• black women who have interracial relationships/children who are militant about natural hair and with bite your head off when you want to straighten or go back to a perm. That is usually the biggest display I see of it.
• black women who have strong opinions on interracial relationships of every mixed variety except their own
• black woman who say there are no good black men out there but let their non black men treat them any kind of way(becoming a mistresss, cheating, mistreatment in general but excuse that)
• black women who are really proper in front of non black folks but have the strongest mouth I have ever heard behind closed doors
• Black women who let their non black friends make them the example of the black negative stereotype
• Black women who think that healthy happy flourshing black relationship aren't authentic.
• Black women who take the non black stereotypes and imitate them harder than non blacks.
• Black women who want the relationship with the white dude or non black dude, but behind closed doors have the black dude they are sleeping with.
• Black women who go extra hard about something explicitly identified as black(Black sorority, hbcu attendance, a program or organization that is pro black)
• Exercise extreme opposite of things identified as black

Those are some of the more popular examples I see, but the list goes on and on.
I actually applaud you for admitting your areas. I have seen much worse. However all of my black friends who either date, have kids by or are married to non black men have at least one area that they are over the top on to prove blackness, distain interracial stuff, or beat themselves up about. It's fascinating. However I can probably look at any woman and if I can pinpoint the area that makes her feel uneasy they will have their own area that they overcompensate in that make them feel more secure in general, it just easier to notice that kind of thing in other people.

SUPER interesting post. I'm going to chew on this.

 

[sarumoki]

@Lylddlebit

I never thought of it like that, but you're right.

 

[HappyMadison]

I actually see this trend a lot in my friends who date, have children with or are married to non black men.

Respectfully, what I notice about them(it may or may not apply to you), is that the mixed kid/relationship thing makes them feel self-conscious. As if they compromised on their "blackness"(for lack of a better term). So, as a response to that, they either magnify the area of "black" they are "good at or embrace", or distain similar circumstances that mirror what they are doing or rejecting. Examples:

• black women who have interracial relationships/children who are militant about natural hair and with bite your head off when you want to straighten or go back to a perm. That is usually the biggest display I see of it.
• black women who have strong opinions on interracial relationships of every mixed variety except their own
• black woman who say there are no good black men out there but let their non black men treat them any kind of way(becoming a mistresss, cheating, mistreatment in general but excuse that)
• black women who are really proper in front of non black folks but have the strongest mouth I have ever heard behind closed doors
• Black women who let their non black friends make them the example of the black negative stereotype
• Black women who think that healthy happy flourshing black relationship aren't authentic.
• Black women who take the non black stereotypes and imitate them harder than non blacks.
• Black women who want the relationship with the white dude or non black dude, but behind closed doors have the black dude they are sleeping with.
• Black women who go extra hard about something explicitly identified as black(Black sorority, hbcu attendance, a program or organization that is pro black)
• Exercise extreme opposite of things identified as black

Those are some of the more popular examples I see, but the list goes on and on.
I actually applaud you for admitting your areas. I have seen much worse. However all of my black friends who either date, have kids by or are married to non black men have at least one area that they are over the top on to prove blackness, distain interracial stuff, or beat themselves up about. It's fascinating. However I can probably look at any woman and if I can pinpoint the area that makes her feel uneasy they will have their own area that they overcompensate in that make them feel more secure in general, it just easier to notice that kind of thing in other people.

Your point is alot to digest and I do see myself in it. When I was in an interracial relationship, the "otherness" forced me into militancy. But I guised it under "I do what I want (rebellion)." Or describe it as duality.

Like it irked me when I bring my husband to family reunion and it was "she don't love herself" versus my brother's Asian wife (married her two years before) all high fives or play up my sister's intraracial relationship (not marriage).

I went natural quietly and my grandmother said I need to put some grease or something to smooth my edges at a family event (south) in front of everyone, joking. It was not until my aunt from the North explained to her it was a thing now. Years later my sister went natural and my grandmother followed suit and was talking about it like you really do not recall ridiculing me about it?

It was weird and it was painful and that is the moment I started being more vocal about my "black thoughts." It not like they were not there, but I had never been questioned my allegiance before.

I think as a black woman, it was expected for me to hold down the race and my relationship was treated as treason. Mind you I dated black a larger sum than any other. Before I married I was with my high school sweetheart for 5 years and my other boyfriend for 2 years, both black, until I met my ex husband (Hispanic), who asked to marry me and did for seven years.

Came out of marriage on a different level of dating...dating for security. Still levees the same
middle eastern for 3 years
Sprinkle in 4 black suitor,
one white,
another middle eastern
Current black

I have no clue what my dating pattern is indicative of besides the fact after my divorce, I did not want to be broke anymore lol. So I guess the notion over pro- blackness, I feel woman are judged harsher than men the litmus test is more strenuous because patriarchy place unfair judgement and treatment on black woman. I can almost guarantee you had it been a black female cousin praising her mixed child, she would have been policed and ridiculed. Maybe that is the reason there is such a firestorm when prominent black women date out.

So while others may see my thoughts as hypocritical, I really don't see the correlation, at least in my case. Yeah, my child is mixed, but my intention in life was to "create a designer baby." I may have had an interracial relationship or two, but the goal was not to be pretentious and my saying n**** doesn't license other to say it. It was not until yesterday I acknowledged my inconsistencies.