Thank you! I am so glad I figured it out, too. It was a simple matter of keeping my hair from being tangled and keeping it lubricated. But there are 1,000+ ways to do that. Thanks to observing women with tailbone afro-textured hair, I was able to pick the 2 ways out of the 1,000+ possibilities that worked for me: no combing and Shea butter. Simple and cheap!
About the length, I have NEVER grown my hair with split-free ends. I usually have to grow PASSED my goal length, then cut the hair BACK to my desired length in order to have split free, even ends.
Here's what I mean
@faithVA :
View attachment 415563
This photo was taken in 2014. The person who did my hair cut OFF a lot of hair [I had butchered my hair 2 years before, myself]. So, I wasn't mad at her. In THIS photo, my ends are
perfectly even and almost free of split ends. But
my hair doesn't grow this way naturally. It got to longer lengths, one strand at a time. Literally, strand by strand, carrying with it split ends and all! I celebrated each one of those raggedy, scraggly, split end ridden strands and KEPT them babies on my head as if I were sporting spun silk on my head. Sure did. When enough of those little strands got to the length I wanted, then I held them at that length until the rest or bulk of my hair caught up. Then, the hair is cut back to an even shorter length, where it is even and free of most splits.
Before, I used to cut my hair to get it even,
BEFORE, I got to my goal length. But, for me, that was discouraging because I never felt like I was getting to my goal length. And I wasn't.
I took a chance and kept and grew raggedy ends with splits a little passed my goal length,
then cut it back to the length in the photo. The only caution here is I did and do try to baby my ends and give them moisture and protection the entire time.
Now, I am doing the same thing with my hair as I intentionally try to grow my hair to tailbone length. I refuse to cut back any of my little 'break through' strands of hair [lead hairs]. I may literally only have 3 strands of hair at a new length. But I keep them, celebrate them and don't cut them back.
I would liken growing hair to bulking the body for weight lifting. You put on weight, then chisel it down and get more definition but with bigger muscles. With hair, I let my hair grow raggedy BEYOND the length I want. Then, I cut my hair back to the length I wanted so that it looks full and even (in theory). I don't like my hair with perfectly even ends in reality!
Sometimes I do this process in iterations. Meaning, if I am at shoulder length, I set my next goal at armpit length. Let my hair get a little past armpit length, then when enough of the bulk gets there, then cut it back. I repeat at each milestone length.
View attachment 415565
Here's a photo from from September 2004. I would go as far to say that the hair ends between my armpit all the way to my waist are a mess. That's about 6 inches of bad ends. But to cut all that back up to my armpits would be discouraging for me. Instead, I picked a goal length. In this photo, it is right above my waist line. So, I didn't let my hair grow passed this point. I continued to trim and cut any and all hair that grew passed this designated point. Eventually, all that raggedy hair between my armpit and waist got down to my waist. When It did, I trimmed it and the ends looked better and were healthier.
In contrast, had I trimmed all my hair back up to armpit length, I would not only have felt discouraged, but I would have been right back where I started: at armpit length! This process doesn't work for all hair, but nothing works for everybody all the time, right.
EDITED to add new photo:
