Long Hair Frustrations...

[LittleMissScientist]

Hi ladies,

I have been lurking on LHCF for a while, and the positive attitude and willingness to help is impressive. I apologize that my first "real" post has kind of a down tone, but I just need to communicate with other women who are equally concerned about their hair right now.

I guess I should start by saying that for me, hair IS my main accessory. When I shop for outifts, I think: Hmmmmmm, this would look so cute with (fill in hairstyle

) Or, when I have a special event coming up, I will spend infinitely more time planning how to style my hair than on the outfit. To me, hair (and shoes

), make the outfit. When my hair is on point, it does not matter what I am wearing- I feel confident and "together".

The problem is, as of late, I just have not been feeling how my hair is turning out, which in turn makes me feel a little "off" during the day. I am sitting here now with my hair pulled back into a large, poofy bun and I am not too happy about it. Some background: I have thick, 3c/4a natural hair that I LOVE- it is midback when pressed and BARELY shoulder length in all its shrunken glory

; I have been natural for about 5 years, and I just came into my own in terms of styling it in the past couple of years. My staples have been two-strand twists/twistouts, curly wash-and-go's, braids/braidouts, flat-twists/twistouts, and buns. I did these styles without even knowing what they were called because I did not know about hairboards!

Fast forward to today: I feel like none of these styles look as good as they did a couple of years or even a couple of months ago. I am constantly thinking of ways to show more length- yes, I do want to SHOW my length at times

I get annoyed when a hair experiment does not turn out, and then I begin to neglect my hair because I am "mad" at it- and then it just gets worse until I call a truce and give it a deep conditioning treatment and pamper it all day Saturday (hair day). (Can you tell I think of my hair as its own entity??

).

I'm at a loss right now because I don't know what to do- my friends say I am too fickle for anything permanent, so I just don't know how to deal with this weird time. It's like, I grew all this hair, and now: What to do with it???? I thought long hair would be FUN, and now I don't even know...

So, ummm, let me try to frame a question that makes sense of this ramble

Does anyone understand this feeling? What do you do when you are in the hair doldrums? Is there any non-permanent way to really change up the look and give you the "my hair is on point!" feeling?

Thanks for "listening"
OshunCurls

 

[Poohbear]

Dont worry...you have achieved what most are trying to achieve here...long, healthy hair. Don't be tempted to cut it all off!

 

[LittleMissScientist]

Poohbear,

Stop reading my mind!!

I have really thought about it...but then I get scared because I have a big head

 

[Armyqt]

Don't cut it!! Maybe you can get some braids or a curly weave and just put your hair away for a while. Your hair is probably tired of you making it do all these things

 

[LittleMissScientist]

Hi Armyqt,

I am trying to avoid cutting, but I guess I am just so irritated with it right now. I think you are so right though- I do play around with it way too much, but I can't help it! I am always thinking of random new styles...

I haven't had braids in looonggg time, though...

I don't know how it would look...

 

[ms_kenesha]

I don't know where you live, but maybe get a blowout at a Dominican Salon, that way you can show your length, wear it in a style that you won't have to do much to maintain.

 

[JenJen2721]

Welcome, Oshun...

I think long hair frustrations beats short hair frustrations anyday!

What about color..have you considered coloring your tresses to give them a new look. Perhaps, PM our resident color expert Tracy for some color tips or do a search. There's loads of information here.

 

[UmSumayyah]

Maybe a few highlights, like Jenjen suggested, as a color option. Perhaps just a tempory rinse to give it a certain "oomph".
Have you tried blowing your hair out a little before twisting to show more length?
I also think one of our naturals discovered that avocado butter (on dry hair I think) significantly reduces shrinkage.

 

[LittleMissScientist]

Thanks for all the suggestions ladies- I am starting to feel better already...

@ Ms. K- I have been thinking about a Dom. blowout, but I don't know of any good Dom. salons up here (Boston), and I am a little scared of all the heat. I am not sure how receptive they are to natural hair... (btw, your twa is TOO sharp

)

@JenJen: Thanks for the welcome- you are always so nice

I have thought about color but I have no idea what to do- I have never done color before. I will PM Tracy aka the Guru!

@ UmSumayyah: Where can you find a rinse? Are they at drugstores? I actually think that temporary color might be perfect- are rinses as drying as permanent color? Do they have any adverse effects on hair health? Sorry for all the questions!!

I just purchased a blowdryer, but I have not tried blowdrying before twisting- I will do that and see what happens...thanks for the great suggestion!

 

[Boadicea]

If you want to show more length, I think milk treatments temporarily stretch out hair without making it straight.

 

[ChocoKitty]

I agree with all the ladies... A milk treatment before a braid-out makes a definite difference and nice rinse with increase your good hair day too.

 

[NapturalGlory]

you can buy color rinses at beauty supply stores like Sally's. A popular brand is Jazzing and i think there is another called Adore. Sebastian makes cellophane color that is like a rinse. A rinse is temporary color so it is not as drying as permanent.

you can also try henna... http://www.everydayhenna.com

good luck...

 

[Tracy]

Oshun....feel free to ask those questions here on your thread if you prefer...I'm reading....

You hair sounds lovely. DEF don't cut it. I hear your about the hair being you main accessory - mine (and, yes, my shoes and bags - what!? we're girls!

) are too!

P.S. Love the handle...

 

[LittleMissScientist]

Oh, you ladies are the BEST! And here I was nervous all this time about posting and not getting a response

Okay, so I thought I was up on all the LHCF techniques/trends, but what is this milk treatment? Are there any old threads I can read on it? I am very interested in non-chemical ways to reduce shrinkage...but I don't want to smell funny either!

This rinse idea is sounding better and better...

Okay Tracy, so you asked for it

I know you just colored recently and posted about that experience (I SO felt you when you were SO happy- I think we are same in how we feel when our hair looks good- and yours looks marvelous, but I was wondering:

Does the coloring techniques differ for curly hair?

Is it more difficult to anticipate where the highlights (I am thinking more about highlights- I am not ready for the whole head!!) will end up when hair is curly?

How frequently do you typically re-color?

Did you color the first time at a salon or at home?

I will probably think of more...

 

[LittleMissScientist]

ChocoKitty!!!

Oh no- our hair is practically IDENTICAL!!! I have not seen your album since today- your hair is sooo pretty!! I looked at the back of the air-dried natural pic and I really had to stop! How did you do the looped ponytail? Did you just press and put it up? Too cute. How has the milk treatment worked for your hair? What is your "everyday" style?

Thanks so much...

 

[Tracy]

[ QUOTE ]
OshunCurls said:

Okay Tracy, so you asked for it

I know you just colored recently and posted about that experience (I SO felt you when you were SO happy- I think we are same in how we feel when our hair looks good- and yours looks marvelous, but I was wondering:

Does the coloring techniques differ for curly hair?

Is it more difficult to anticipate where the highlights (I am thinking more about highlights- I am not ready for the whole head!!) will end up when hair is curly?

How frequently do you typically re-color?

Did you color the first time at a salon or at home?

I will probably think of more...

[/ QUOTE ]

Based on my experiences coloring my hair "curly" the experiences I've had tell me that it's harder to get an even result on curly hair at home. If you want highlights the best way to do them is with permie color (not bleach - unless you already have a dark semi-perm or something) and do it with foil. You can try it yourself - I would - but I'll try ANYTHING in case you haven't noticed so you could do it. The reasoning behind it is when you use foil you section the curls off and comb through them and then use a brush to flatten the hair against the foil instead of trying to catch each strand like you do with all over color or when you highlight "freehand". By flattening the hair against the foil you have a better chance at a better result vis a vis evenness because you have a better shot at getting an equal amount of color on each strand.

The other thing to know about coloring curly hair with highlights is that the sections sshould be relatively large (depending on how big your hair is) - about an square inch per section so the color doesn't get "lost" in your curls in the final result. They don't have to monstrous sections, but they should be a little bigger then you might intuitively want to go for the reasons mentioned above. This way you have a better shot at the color appearing where you think you want it and actually "seeing" it there when you're done.

I recommend a blond shade of Textures and Tones - maybe Honey Blond - unless maybe slightly brassy hair (it's always a toss up if this will happen - timing the rinse out carefully can help it not go too light and too brassy) would be like death to you - in which case use Bronze - but know there's no booster, so if your hair very dark it may have trouble lifting.

I try to limit my color to twice a year once I've got the right shade. Until I get the color right tho it's a toss up. I could color, as my friends here know - 10 times in a given week if it ain't right.

DON'T do that.

They say guru, I say daredevil and I don't recommend folks do what I do.

I always color at home. My experience is that they USUALLY jack it up at the salon whereas I get it right about 50% of the time when I do it myself and my odds are better so I do it at home. BUT --> I don't do highlights at home. Or I never have. If I DID - you guessed it - I'd do 'em at home. I might look like a zebra, but I'd do it. That's just me.

Feel free to ask whatever else your little heart desires.

 

[aqualung]

[ QUOTE ]
OshunCurls said:
@ Ms. K- I have been thinking about a Dom. blowout, but I don't know of any good Dom. salons up here (Boston), and I am a little scared of all the heat. I am not sure how receptive they are to natural hair...

[/ QUOTE ]

This spring and summer I'll try out local Dominican salons near Boston based on board and girlfriend recs until I find a satisfactory shop. I'll post reviews and pm heads up to my Boston ppl.

 

[Cat_Eyed_Cutie]

Jeeeze I can't wait til I have your hair problems...

 

[Carefree]

Have you tried roller sets? Sometimes I get tired of puffs, twists and twist-outs too so I'll whip out the old rollers and do a roller-set. I have pics in my album.

Good luck!

 

[Boadicea]

You can look up the milk treatment threads by doing a search on them. They're also mentioned in some of the henna posts and lotus flower posts.

I thing the gist of it is pouring milk on your hair putting on a shower cap and leaving it on for 45 minutes or more. I'm sure it doesn't make your hair smell because you wash and condition as normal afterward.

 

[DragonPearl]

Carefree, I just checked your album for the first time. Your hair and styles are SIMPLY GORGEOUS!

(Note to self: I really must start spending more time in members' albums.)

 

[ricochet]

I do the blow dryer/twists about once a month. I love the look of the twists done on blown dry hair/dry hair and I also love the look of shrunken twists done on wet hair. The looks are TOTALLY different, but equally beautiful...you should try it! The main difference in twist done on blown dry hair is my length doubles. I have about 50% skrinkage.

 

[ThickHair]

Hot comb may help

 

[LittleMissScientist]

Thank you everyone who gave such wonderful suggestions and information- I am excited about trying some out this weekend and I feel like I will actually be enjoying my hair again.

I'm thinking a rinse (I am not brave enough yet for permanent color!) and rollerset

And then I will do the blowdried twists... I'm looking forward to some new styles and colors

@ Carefree- your hair is beautiful!

Do you use color/rinses?

 

[ChocoKitty]

[ QUOTE ]
OshunCurls said:
ChocoKitty!!!

Oh no- our hair is practically IDENTICAL!!! I have not seen your album since today- your hair is sooo pretty!! I looked at the back of the air-dried natural pic and I really had to stop! How did you do the looped ponytail? Did you just press and put it up? Too cute. How has the milk treatment worked for your hair? What is your "everyday" style?

Thanks so much...

[/ QUOTE ]


Thank you! Oshun

I flat ironed with ceramic irons and the set my hair with Hype Hair Satin rollers. The next morning I make a normal ponytail; twist the length loosely; then loop the length through my ponytail holder again. The key is not to make it too tight. That way you can adjust it. This is basically my everyday style whether I’m wearing my hair natural or straightened.
As far as the milk treatment I use coconut milk and lime mixed w/ LeKair cholesterol and generous amount of Sue Bee honey. I don’t have any pics of my natural after a milk treatment. Milk treatment makes hair pattern looser—sorta like a silky “S” pattern. Try it—you might get hooked. One day I’ll take pics of my results.

 

[LittleMissScientist]

You are welcome ChocoKitty!

I will have to try this milk treatment.

What are the approximate proportions of each ingredient? Rough estimates are good- I never really measure.

I was thinking about it the other night and my only concern was that the protein in the milk would make the hair kind of hard?

I might do this before the rollerset...

 

[ChocoKitty]

I use about 2 small limes to 1 can of milk. The first time I tried the coconut and milk it loosened my curl, but made it very oily and too hard to straighten. For me, adding it to my Cholesterol and honey is the best. It gives me excellent slip & moisture. The comb just glides through my hair.

 

[Natashia]

Hi, I love you hair when it's not straight. How do you get that curly/ semi- straight look and what type of products do you use. Your hair is beautiful.

 

[Carefree]

Thanks Jessy55!

OshunCurls: Thanks! I colored my hair auburn last summer, thus the reddish/brown ends. I don't plan on coloring my hair anymore though.