Long Distance Relationships

[honeycomb719]

Anybody wanna share their experience with having one? I have just entered into a LDR. So far so good. I have no complaints other than when its time to end the visit and go home I miss having him around. We have a 2hr drive in between us, so weekend trips are not such a hassle. Its just what about
those times when u want/need them near through the week? How do you handle?
This guy is really something wonderful. He is a amazing son to his sick mother, and so caring with his son. I think we have really good potential. Just wanted to hear some other stories. Thanx ladies

 

[honeycomb719]

No comments? erplexed

 

[Much2much41]

I've never dated long distance, but my sister did. There were three hours difference between them. They dated about a year or so, and have been married for 9. They didn't have a very exciting courtship (at least from what I saw ), but everything is going pretty well for them.

 

[sonce]

I was in one for almost three years. We were almost 3000 miles apart and saw each other from once a month to every other month on average. Before the LDR phase of the relationship began, we were together for only a few months (big mistake).

I think that an LDR makes identification of issues much more difficult and much more time-consuming. It also makes resolution of issues more difficult and time-consuming. I would not recommend it if the relationship has not already existed long enough for serious issues to pop and and be identified and solved. It is not wise to let a fledgling relationship unfold over a long distance IMO.

 

[Colliecole]

:::raising hand::: Meeeee! Had a LDR for 2 looooonnnngggg yrs b4 he moved here to Cali. I wasn’t to fond of our LDR bcuz he lived in MI . 5 hr plane flight to see him, not to mention the money… I would only see him every 3-4 months, and I missed him like hell! But in your situation, it seems great. In a LDR you’re on the phone so much with that person, you are forced to get to know them…..really get to know whats going on in his head. People go years in a relationship and never really talk. And in an LDR when you finally do see them, you miss them so much your soooooo in love and visa verse ….sex was always AWESOME when I finally saw my SO after those months…. We might still be in a LDR if he was only 2 hrs a way like yours. Does your SO plan to ever move closer to you? You to him?

 

[Colliecole]

So, in conclusion (lol), I think that an LDR makes identification of issues much more difficult and much more time-consuming. It also makes resolution of issues more difficult and time-consuming. I would not recommend it if the relationship has not already existed long enough for serious issues to pop and and be identified and solved. It is not wise to let a fledgling relationship unfold over a long distance IMO.

I disagree a tad bit with this...I believe the reason why I know my SO so well is bcuzz of our initial LDR. We talked on the phone every day for hours at a time. I learned what was going on in his head way b4 I’d memorized every inch of his body. I think people do this the other way around, and those relationships don’t last. Within months I understood his views on marriage, abortion, college education, financial literacy….and many other things that are important in choosing a long term mate. If we had the convenience of going to each others house every day, we’d probably be at the movies, eating dinner, and having sex too often to really talk.

 

[Farida]

I have little faith in LDRs.

Yours, I don't consider an LDR because it is only 2 hours away. Any distance that doesn't allow for reasonable travel to and fro in one day (and spending good time in between) is an LDR to me.

You can see each other every weekend which is something couples who live in the same area do anyway.

 

[cocoaluv]

We talked on the phone every day for hours at a time. I learned what was going on in his head way b4 I’d memorized every inch of his body. I think people do this the other way around, and those relationships don’t last. Within months I understood his views on marriage, abortion, college education, financial literacy….and many other things that are important in choosing a long term mate. If we had the convenience of going to each others house every day, we’d probably be at the movies, eating dinner, and having sex too often to really talk.

ITA. I am in a long distance relationship as well ( he is living in DC right now and I'm in jersey). We were forced to get to know each other very well through communication. We talk on the phone just about every day and we learned about about each other waaaaaaaaay before we decided to get serious and become a true couple. Its annoying that we dont get to see each other so much but I like it this way because when we do see each other we more than make up for it . I have girlfriends that feel sorry for me because I dont get to see my boyfriend as much while they see theirs everyday, but guess what? They are always arguing over dumb stuff because they arent really communicating and just saying what they think the other WANTS to hear. I dont think LDR's are better than regular ones at all, I'm just saying that it forces you to get to know a person very well through communication. The things my boyfriend and I talk about on the phone to each other is alot more in depth than what we talk about when we are togther (cuz we are usually trying to go out and do as many things together as possible within that visit). It has also made me grow up a little because I used to be VERY selfish with former boyfriends. If I didnt see them when I wanted to I would throw a fit and piss them off. Now I'm more calm about it because I know that this one is worth the wait.

 

[tinkat]

I am currently in a LDR and it is not for everyone. If your relationship can not withstand distance, it can't withstand anything in my opinion. You have trust eachother and actually get to know eachother. I have been with my SO for 4 years and in my opinion our relationship has become stronger bc of this. He joined the military in Feburary and is Currently at AIT in Texas, I am in GA. He will not come back until April but even after he comes back, It will most likely be long distance bc I want to go graduate school in Alabama in August. He keeps hinting that he may try to go to school in Alabama but idk. Since I work for an airline..I am luckly able to see him at least once a month...due to the holidays coming up, I am able to see him a little more. Its very frustrating sometimes to not be able to see him that much, or talk to him that much during the week bc anybody who knows anyone is the military know that they are really busy during the day during AIT and have a bedtime. But I am so happy to be with him, although times can be lonely..but I think the distance made him appreciate me more. Being in a LDR has made me more patient and not sweat the dumb stuff that I use to when he was here with me.

 

[sonce]

I disagree a tad bit with this...I believe the reason why I know my SO so well is bcuzz of our initial LDR. We talked on the phone every day for hours at a time. I learned what was going on in his head way b4 I’d memorized every inch of his body. I think people do this the other way around, and those relationships don’t last. Within months I understood his views on marriage, abortion, college education, financial literacy….and many other things that are important in choosing a long term mate. If we had the convenience of going to each others house every day, we’d probably be at the movies, eating dinner, and having sex too often to really talk.

We talked on the phone for hours daily too - so much so that I got a second phone just for him. However, I am in the habit of discussing thoroughly with anyone I am going to share my life/body with, so I would have known him just as well if we had been in the same town. In fact, I might have known him better because my first love (who was in the same town as I) and I got to know each other so well that we could complete each other's sentences and feel each other's presence intuitively within a few months.

 

[FromHair2There]

I have little faith in LDRs.

Yours, I don't consider an LDR because it is only 2 hours away. Any distance that doesn't allow for reasonable travel to and fro in one day (and spending good time in between) is an LDR to me.

You can see each other every weekend which is something couples who live in the same area do anyway.

I think it really depends on the situation actually. You could be two hours away but if somebody doesn't have a car it might as well be 5 hours away.
Plus it depends on whats going in the lives of the people in a LDR....if their in school, etc.

With that said I wish I was only two hours away from my SO. It would be heaven

 

[frostydoll]

I was in one for almost three years. We were almost 3000 miles apart and saw each other from once a month to every other month on average. Before the LDR phase of the relationship began, we were together for only a few months (big mistake).

I think that an LDR makes identification of issues much more difficult and much more time-consuming. It also makes resolution of issues more difficult and time-consuming. I would not recommend it if the relationship has not already existed long enough for serious issues to pop and and be identified and solved. It is not wise to let a fledgling relationship unfold over a long distance IMO.

ITA with the bolded. I was in a long distance relationship for a year and a half and I believe the relationship only lasted that long because of the distance. We were best friends for years and I felt I really knew him but it's totally different in a relationship setting. I definitely feel that if we had lived closer when we decided to date we would have realized early on that our relationship was better as friends.

On a different note, being in a long distance relationship helped me create a more emotional relationship that wasn't focused on anything physical because we didn't see each other.

 

[Shimmie]

Anybody wanna share their experience with having one? I have just entered into a LDR. So far so good. I have no complaints other than when its time to end the visit and go home I miss having him around. We have a 2hr drive in between us, so weekend trips are not such a hassle. Its just what about
those times when u want/need them near through the week? How do you handle?
This guy is really something wonderful. He is a amazing son to his sick mother, and so caring with his son. I think we have really good potential. Just wanted to hear some other stories. Thanx ladies

I've been in one for exactly one year today. Today's our 1st Anniversary.

I have to say that this is the best thing that has happend in my life. It's given both of us no other choice then to 'know' each other 'beyond the flesh'. I'm being real and just putting it out there.

We 'took' to each other right away and we developed 'emotional' feelings for each other very quickly. With these emotions came a roller coaster ride, where we've been through high's and low's, and our distance geographically, gave us no other choice than to fight harder to make our relationship work. We HAD no other choice than to work out our differences intellectually, as opposed to covering up a situation physically. We had to 'talk' things out and work it out until we came to an agreement. Hence, the long distance has brought us together closer in friendship, and committment and most of all in love.

For us, it has been the best way to begin and develop our relationship. We wouldn't know as much as we do about each other. We wouldn't have as great communication as we do. I asked the Lord in prayer, to keep us too busy to get caught up in not being together geographically. God did just that for us. We're growing into a real couple with first things first. Not basing love on sexual encounters and the daily temptation of it.

 

[frostydoll]

I would also add that starting a relationship long distance is usually the problem. Many times interacting with a person (not in terms of physical affection) but just going out will open your eyes to things about them that might irritate you in the future. If you're only seeing them for a week and they do something irritating or annoying you don't want to ruin the time together by discussing these little things. At least that's how I felt when I would go visit my ex-boyfriend.

 

[foxxymami]

ITA with the bolded. I was in a long distance relationship for a year and a half and I believe the relationship only lasted that long because of the distance. We were best friends for years and I felt I really knew him but it's totally different in a relationship setting. I definitely feel that if we had lived closer when we decided to date we would have realized early on that our relationship was better as friends.

On a different note, being in a long distance relationship helped me create a more emotional relationship that wasn't focused on anything physical because we didn't see each other.

Hey UMB

What do you mean by the bolded? You mean that your relationship with him actually began as a LDR?

 

[frostydoll]

Hey UMB

What do you mean by the bolded? You mean that your relationship with him actually began as a LDR?

Hey Foxxy,

Yea my relationship started as long distance. We went to high school together and kept in contact over the years but we started dating junior year of college. We never lived in the same area while dating.

 

[Colliecole]

ITA with the bolded. I was in a long distance relationship for a year and a half and I believe the relationship only lasted that long because of the distance. We were best friends for years and I felt I really knew him but it's totally different in a relationship setting. I definitely feel that if we had lived closer when we decided to date we would have realized early on that our relationship was better as friends.

On a different note, being in a long distance relationship helped me create a more emotional relationship that wasn't focused on anything physical because we didn't see each other.

I see where you're coming from... My SO moved here to Cali this year in Feb. I'd stayed with him in MI for a month last year, so I sort of knew how it felt to live with him, but it’s different when you're really living with someone. All these habits etc that I never knew about. Thank the Lord he didn’t present me with anything that I couldn’t’ handle, and he’s always willing to work on himself. But you’re right, just because we were best friends for two years b4 he moved here, didn’t guarantee that we’d be as compatible in a full time physical relationship...

 

[foxxymami]

Hey Foxxy,

Yea my relationship started as long distance. We went to high school together and kept in contact over the years but we started dating junior year of college. We never lived in the same area while dating.

Okay well then I see what you mean.

Me and my SO have a LDR but we didn't start out as one. We had a "regular" rlshp for 10 months so I guess that other issue you mentioned didn't affect how we interacted w/ each other whenever we have visits

 

[frostydoll]

Okay well then I see what you mean.

Me and my SO have a LDR but we didn't start out as one. We had a "regular" rlshp for 10 months so I guess that other issue you mentioned didn't affect how we interacted w/ each other whenever we have visits

Yea I was specifically talking about starting a relationship off long distance which is what I thought "sonce" was saying as well.

 

[Danene5]

I wish my LDR was just 2 hours. Mine is 4 hours. At times it is very difficult as far as communication and wanting to go out on a date. But if the two of you trust each other and communicate well. You will have no problem.

 

[honeycomb719]

:::raising hand::: Meeeee! Had a LDR for 2 looooonnnngggg yrs b4 he moved here to Cali. I wasn’t to fond of our LDR bcuz he lived in MI . 5 hr plane flight to see him, not to mention the money… I would only see him every 3-4 months, and I missed him like hell! But in your situation, it seems great. In a LDR you’re on the phone so much with that person, you are forced to get to know them…..really get to know whats going on in his head. People go years in a relationship and never really talk. And in an LDR when you finally do see them, you miss them so much your soooooo in love and visa verse ….sex was always AWESOME when I finally saw my SO after those months…. We might still be in a LDR if he was only 2 hrs a way like yours. Does your SO plan to ever move closer to you? You to him?

Its been discussed. He has a sick mom, so I would more than likely move 2 him once I finish school if things remained good.