Long distance relationships... Who has to move?

[YasashiiSekai]

I agree with CurliDiva. It would be different if you moved and you guys were engaged or something, but moving simply for a man is kinda strange especially if you don't have much out there besides him to lean on.

And of course the person with the least obligations should move because that makes the most sense, but there's more to it than that.
Hopefully he changes his mindset and actually wants to move (even if he really doesn't) because that shows that at least he's willing to sacrifice something for you, instead of you doing all the sacrificing.

 

[Eluv]

I wouldn't entertain a long distance relationship unless that person lives somewhere I want to move to.

 

[anon123]

I started a relationship with someone in the same city. Then I graduated and got a job somewhere else. Jobs are harder to come by for me than for him. Much harder. So in this case, it makes sense for him to move, and that is what he is doing. I appreciate the sacrifice because, though the area I moved to is not a bad area, I know he's pretty attached to the city we met in as he has spent most of his life there. But sometimes that's just what makes sense.

 

[tropical-punch]

Well good luck OP.

 

[classydread]

If it was worth it, I wouldn't mind moving. I have a flexible career. I would have to have ajob first, and we would have to be engaged and a date set before I made the move.

 

[jeanghrey]

I recently met someone who lives in another state and I am smitten by him but the problem is that he has no intentions ever of moving to where I am. I know a couple of girls who dated men out of state and the guy ended up moving to the woman's state. Though I just met him and we've been communicating I don't want to fall deep only to be disappointed later cause I'm pretty sure I can't move do to family obligations. Lady's who were in long distance relationships which one of you had to make the move?

Also he does not want to move cause his whole family is in that state and they're super close. He also believes he can be more successful in that state with his career. I'm not going to say the states but he's down South and I'm up North.

As an older veteran of this dilemma, I'm just gonna say it straight out Big Sister style. Unless you're an very flexible person with a career choice that has options independent of location, do not let this go any further. One you're still in the smitten stage, which is easy to maintain when you don't have to see the person everyday. Two, unless there's serious talk on the table about marraige/life planning DO NOT MOVE FOR A MAN WHO HAS NOT CLEARLY MADE A COMMITTMENT TO YOU!!!!
That being said find out now how he feels about you, get to know his values, family dynamics, financial habits, spiritual beliefs. The sooner the better so you don't waste anymore time and don't waste the pretty.

 

[Keshieshimmer]

Please don't be like these folks: http://www.mtv.com/shows/truelife/episode.jhtml?episodeID=166630

No sir.

 

[StarScream35]

I recently met someone who lives in another state and I am smitten by him but the problem is that he has no intentions ever of moving to where I am. I know a couple of girls who dated men out of state and the guy ended up moving to the woman's state. Though I just met him and we've been communicating I don't want to fall deep only to be disappointed later cause I'm pretty sure I can't move do to family obligations. Lady's who were in long distance relationships which one of you had to make the move?

Also he does not want to move cause his whole family is in that state and they're super close. He also believes he can be more successful in that state with his career. I'm not going to say the states but he's down South and I'm up North.

Girl I feel you. I am in this situation right now. You are gonna have to talk to him. That's how me and my man are gonna work this out. I personally would like for us BOTH to uproot and move, that way it won't be any of that "I HAD to move for you" and blah blah. Believe me, once the honeymoon period ends and things get a little bumpy, these types of feelings do surface. And pray about it!!