SweetNic_JA
Well-Known Member
Yea, glad to hear the good news!!!
I can't believe this was 7 months ago either...I hope you two enjoy each other during his visit. You deserve so much happiness.
Thanks WC
I'll keep you and everyone posted
Long Distance Relationships : How do you maintain
- Thread starter SweetNic_JA
- Start date
Thanks WC
I'll keep you and everyone posted
shelly25
Active Member
I'm about to be in a LDR in a few months
. Right now, we're both in VA. In june, I'll be finished with school, and plan on going back home to FL (I'd probably stay if I had a car/job/apartment, but I don't).
I'm really nervous when the time comes when I have to leave.
I know we're gonna talk every night, and text each other during the day.
I trust him. I just don't know how long we will be in a LDR (before one of us makes a big move to be near the other or something). In April, it would be 2 years we're together.
. Right now, we're both in VA. In june, I'll be finished with school, and plan on going back home to FL (I'd probably stay if I had a car/job/apartment, but I don't). I'm really nervous when the time comes when I have to leave.
I know we're gonna talk every night, and text each other during the day.
I trust him. I just don't know how long we will be in a LDR (before one of us makes a big move to be near the other or something). In April, it would be 2 years we're together.
SweetNic_JA
Well-Known Member
Shoot, yall?
I can't believe this was 7 months ago. Boy it seems like the older I become, quicker times passes on. Well we're no longer LDR, we're living in the same city and doing A, OK? (sp?)
Awesome! I can't wait until I can say this about me and my SO.
Well the good news is that he'll be moving to North America for 1 year.
SweetNic_JA
Well-Known Member
I'm about to be in a LDR in a few months
I'm really nervous when the time comes when I have to leave.
I know we're gonna talk every night, and text each other during the day.
I trust him. I just don't know how long we will be in a LDR (before one of us makes a big move to be near the other or something). In April, it would be 2 years we're together.
You two can definitely make it work. Just keep believing in the relationship and keep loving eachother. Maybe you two can think of scheduling alternating visits since you are both in the US.
shelly25
Active Member
Thanks.
And yeah we have talked about that (visiting each other).
Hopefully everything will work out.
filthyfresh
New Member
1. How often did you two talk?
We talk everyday. Thank God for mobile-to-mobile minutes and unlimited texting.
2. How did you maintain trust?
I'm pretty skeptical of any guy, let alone one that's away from me. That's an issue I'm working on now. If he was going to do his dirt, our friends would know and they would tell me. Plus, he's the type that if he wants to leave, he'll just leave. And I'm the same way. Plus, he hasn't given me a reason not to trust him.
3. How often (if ever) did you see one another in person?
I see him either every other weekend, on school breaks, or at the very least once a month. It's pretty much as much as our finances & schoolwork allows. In fact he's coming to visit tomorrow. =]
4. What was the outcome of the LDR? Marriage? Breakup?
We've been together for a year and three months. So it's going well so far. He graduates in May so he should be back home for good, which should make things very interesting.
5. What advice would you give others who are in this setup?
If you are extremely needy, don't do it. If you can't trust people, don't do it. I've only lasted this long because I know that I'm going to marry that man regardless. So I'm willing to put in that work. If you aren't completely devoted to that person, don't do it. In as long as we've been together, I've never wanted anyone else. Not even for a second. Also, don't do it if you can't go without sex for a month. LOL.
We talk everyday. Thank God for mobile-to-mobile minutes and unlimited texting.
2. How did you maintain trust?
I'm pretty skeptical of any guy, let alone one that's away from me. That's an issue I'm working on now. If he was going to do his dirt, our friends would know and they would tell me. Plus, he's the type that if he wants to leave, he'll just leave. And I'm the same way. Plus, he hasn't given me a reason not to trust him.
3. How often (if ever) did you see one another in person?
I see him either every other weekend, on school breaks, or at the very least once a month. It's pretty much as much as our finances & schoolwork allows. In fact he's coming to visit tomorrow. =]
4. What was the outcome of the LDR? Marriage? Breakup?
We've been together for a year and three months. So it's going well so far. He graduates in May so he should be back home for good, which should make things very interesting.
5. What advice would you give others who are in this setup?
If you are extremely needy, don't do it. If you can't trust people, don't do it. I've only lasted this long because I know that I'm going to marry that man regardless. So I'm willing to put in that work. If you aren't completely devoted to that person, don't do it. In as long as we've been together, I've never wanted anyone else. Not even for a second. Also, don't do it if you can't go without sex for a month. LOL.
MissMeWithThatIsh
New Member
1. How often did you two talk?
Every few days.... then in e-mail everyday....
We didn't have a conversation on the phone UNTIL he flew out to meet me.
He was in Ramstein, I lived in NYC
2. How did you maintain trust?
We were online friends for months and knew what we was trying to accomplish with different things... and his friends came to me telling me how bad he liked ME before I even knew about it... and even then when we were together, I insisted on an open door policy. I told him to do what he wanted, and I would do what I wanted, but we had to be real about it. We both chose NOT to do anything, and decided we could wait, but if something did look like it would occur, we'd speak about it. I just didn't see the need "to tie us down" if we were far apart.
3. How often (if ever) did you see one another in person?
Every 2-3 months for 7-10 days... then once for 30 days.... and yea.
4. What was the outcome of the LDR? Marriage? Breakup?
I moved in with him to NM in April 07... we've been stronger since. I think this is one of those rare instances where we were a strong match and did what felt right for us.
We are planning to get married... next year.
5. What advice would you give others who are in this setup?
- Trust your instincts. If you get a "vibe" or "gut feeling" that doesn't resonate well with you, then be aware of it.
- Know what you can and cannot handle. I am not always ready to jump into a commitment and be around someone all day, everyday unless I know I can give my all and that he will too. Being apart allowed me to "justify" and mull over all the thoughts I had about every and any little problem...and keep me from being "infatuated," etc. NOW, this LDR has tested our trust and commitment... and it's honestly a more solid foundation this way.... FOR US.
- Don't talk to everyone about your situation. Someone will ALWAYS say it's not right, and that "he's a man," or "You're a woman," or just try to *** UP your lifestyle.
- If you need more guidance, speak to military spouses...
- Lots of cyber and phone and text sex....
Every few days.... then in e-mail everyday....
We didn't have a conversation on the phone UNTIL he flew out to meet me.
He was in Ramstein, I lived in NYC
2. How did you maintain trust?
We were online friends for months and knew what we was trying to accomplish with different things... and his friends came to me telling me how bad he liked ME before I even knew about it... and even then when we were together, I insisted on an open door policy. I told him to do what he wanted, and I would do what I wanted, but we had to be real about it. We both chose NOT to do anything, and decided we could wait, but if something did look like it would occur, we'd speak about it. I just didn't see the need "to tie us down" if we were far apart.
3. How often (if ever) did you see one another in person?
Every 2-3 months for 7-10 days... then once for 30 days.... and yea.
4. What was the outcome of the LDR? Marriage? Breakup?
I moved in with him to NM in April 07... we've been stronger since. I think this is one of those rare instances where we were a strong match and did what felt right for us.
We are planning to get married... next year.
5. What advice would you give others who are in this setup?
- Trust your instincts. If you get a "vibe" or "gut feeling" that doesn't resonate well with you, then be aware of it.
- Know what you can and cannot handle. I am not always ready to jump into a commitment and be around someone all day, everyday unless I know I can give my all and that he will too. Being apart allowed me to "justify" and mull over all the thoughts I had about every and any little problem...and keep me from being "infatuated," etc. NOW, this LDR has tested our trust and commitment... and it's honestly a more solid foundation this way.... FOR US.
- Don't talk to everyone about your situation. Someone will ALWAYS say it's not right, and that "he's a man," or "You're a woman," or just try to *** UP your lifestyle.
- If you need more guidance, speak to military spouses...
- Lots of cyber and phone and text sex....
Colliecole
New Member
We were LDR for 2 yrs.
1. How often did you two talk?
An average of every other day. Sometimes every day, and at times I wouldnt get a hold of him for 2 days (I'd be pissed off when this happened)
2. How did you maintain trust?
We just did....
3. How often (if ever) did you see one another in person?
We rotated flying out to visit eachother every 3-5 months. He lived in Michigan and me in Cali, so it was $500 per trip...not easy.
4. What was the outcome of the LDR? Marriage? Breakup?
He moved here to cali last year, and we're still together. No marriage yet, but we've talked about it happening in a few years.
5. What advice would you give others who are in this setup?
Be patient but don't be a dumba$$...be understanding of busy schedules, finances etc, but he needs to acknowledge you as a priority. Have your rules established whether or not you are in a commited relationship, no gueswork on his part.
1. How often did you two talk?
An average of every other day. Sometimes every day, and at times I wouldnt get a hold of him for 2 days (I'd be pissed off when this happened)
2. How did you maintain trust?
We just did....
3. How often (if ever) did you see one another in person?
We rotated flying out to visit eachother every 3-5 months. He lived in Michigan and me in Cali, so it was $500 per trip...not easy.
4. What was the outcome of the LDR? Marriage? Breakup?
He moved here to cali last year, and we're still together. No marriage yet, but we've talked about it happening in a few years.
5. What advice would you give others who are in this setup?
Be patient but don't be a dumba$$...be understanding of busy schedules, finances etc, but he needs to acknowledge you as a priority. Have your rules established whether or not you are in a commited relationship, no gueswork on his part.
itismehmmkay
Well-Known Member
Bump for HoneyLemonDrop
SweetNic_JA
Well-Known Member
Thanks for bumping the only LDR thread in the relationship forum
. Thankfully that 4 months after this post our relationship took a turn for the 180. I actually stepped back and took time for myself, as is necessary in every relationship. Long distance relationships are not easy, but they can work. So HLD, if you are willing to work and sometimes cry, then you can find a very rewarding union.
itismehmmkay
Well-Known Member
^^^See that's why I never bump any threads. 
But I saw about 4-5 w/ LDR in the title and found this one to be the most inspiring and w/ the best setup. It's always good to see how folks are making it work
But I saw about 4-5 w/ LDR in the title and found this one to be the most inspiring and w/ the best setup. It's always good to see how folks are making it work
SweetNic_JA
Well-Known Member
^^^See that's why I never bump any threads.
But I saw about 4-5 w/ LDR in the title and found this one to be the most inspiring and w/ the best setup. It's always good to see how folks are making it work
I was actually on the phone with my SO when I typed the last message. He had the nerve to get mad at ME and said that it's GOOD the thread was bumped! LOL. He said I need to keep our relationship private from now on.itismehmmkay
Well-Known Member
See, yeah I've been here all these years and never bump threads. And my SO has said the same thing about keeping the relationship private.
Please keep us posted after ya'lls date
And my SO has said the same thing about keeping the relationship private. Please keep us posted after ya'lls date
BeautifulFlower
Well-Known Member
Shimmie
I know this thread is dirt old but this post soooo encouraged me. I am thinking of having a LDR with a friend no (me, east coast; him, west coast). This is a reminder to me that I have been in relationships with men in the same city that I have felt miles apart from. Thank you for the prospective.
I know this thread is dirt old but this post soooo encouraged me. I am thinking of having a LDR with a friend no (me, east coast; him, west coast). This is a reminder to me that I have been in relationships with men in the same city that I have felt miles apart from. Thank you for the prospective.
Pray Angel. Just Pray for the Holy Spirit to lead you BOTH and to have His way. At least you will know that you've made the right decision and not be haunted by it ever in life. No regrets.
Can I tell you something? These issues aren't applied nor do they occur in Long Distance Relationships exclusively. I went through this 'Drama' with my ex-husband who lived with me in the same house and slept with me i nthe same bed. Am I making sense?
While geographically LDR's do have challenges and much to be desired, there are still YET non-LDR's that have even more 'Distance' and issues with the couple involved. Distance 'here or there', doesn't stop a man from cheating, if he's a cheater.
Hold on to this...If God be for you, then who dare be against you? Nothing and no one. Angel let go of the LDR being an issue. The real issues will alway lie within the hearts of the man and woman involved.
Here.... a big sister hugAs I said above, I can 'feel' you on this and what you are going through matters.
I wish you the very best; most of all Peace and the Joy of the Lord planted into your hearts. Take care, precious one. I can 'feel' you on this one. It's going ot be okay either way.
Similar threads
