Wow. This thread is Godsent !
I'm in LDR too (since september), and I regret it bitterly.
I need to vent:
I decided to leave my bf behind in london, to go to luxembourg for a while; I had a few friends there who told me that there are alot of oppotunities for anyone who wants to get a 1st experience in banking and finance. It is not necessarily my dream job, but they offer higher salaries, and God knows I have lots of debts to pay
. So, just like that, I decided to leave everything in london (my place, and my temp job in a pharma company) to go there. My bf was hesitant, skeptical of my choice, but he told me to go ahead and do my thing. He had hinted many times in the past that he is not an advocate of LDR, but I was on a roll, and forgot all about it.To my biggest surprise, I was offered a permanent contract and a decent salary within a week in a big bank; I decided to go for it.
But ever since I left, we've been having problems, silly arguments and watnot. He is pulling back, and is making it look like I abandonned him although everything was great between us. He still hasn't visited me, but I went there 3 times already. When I'm there with him, everything is great, but as soon as I go back to luxembourg, he pulls back. Why does he do that? It hurts terribly because I love this man so much.
He says we should take it day by day, and that he doesn't see why we should talk on the phone everyday. he says that i need to let him breath and allow him to miss me, by not blowing up his phone all the time. He says he wants me to be strong on my own. He says he felt disoriented and empty when I left, but life goes on.He says that he loves me, but that he doesn't want to make plans for us, to promise me anything, or to create a stronger commitment because he doesn't know what the future holds. He says he needs time to think.
He is killing me softly, and i'm so lonely
I'm trying to be strong, make the best of this experience and think of myself first, but it is hard; I feel like i created this situation with my own hands, and I wish i could rewind time; The first month was horrible, I cried everyday. I was about to resign from my job, at week 2, to run back to london. I'm still trying to figure out, how to go back to london, in 2-3 months, although i know i should stay at least for a year in this job, to make it look good on my cv. But how can I survive one year like this??????????
I thought our relationship was stronger than that.
I've decided not to call him everyday like i usually do, and see how many days go by before he decides to call me first. I hope he even notices.....
Can a LDR survive with these conditions?
Sorry; my post is so long and erratic .
Sorry, no advice to give, but I sho hope me and Boo don't have to do the LDR thing.
