Long and thick hair is great ,but a mixed blessing

[Trinity1]

Hi Ladies,

I usually wear the braidout style with my hair in a ponytail or out. Very seldom do I wear my hair straightened. Well,yesterday I used John Friedas blow drying hair creme (loved it) to get my hair straight and then flat ironed. I have very thick,jet black hair that is almost to the middle of my back and I love my hair and am thankful to God for my hair.....here is the question...Do any of you ladies with longer hair feel self conscious about wearing it out because of the attention you get? I felt so self conscious yesterday because people stared as though I was some kind of freak show and I hated that. I searched my purse for a scrunchie so I could put it up but couldnt find one and had a bit of an internal panic because I had to go all day with my hair out. Today its out again but I am not that self conscious about it because I put a little oil on it curled it so its not as big as it was yesterday. I noticed the longer my hair gets the more hesitant I am to feel comfortable wearing it out. Does anyone else feel this way?

Tee Tee

 

[DigitalRain]

LOL, take comfort that the reason that they are staring is because you have beautiful hair. I mean, its not like you grew a second head or anything

 

[Trinity1]

LOL....DigitalRain you are absolutely right and I do know that they stare in disbelief. There is definitely a difference between the attention I get from men vs women. Women are more catty and curious but the men are like "WOW" LOL........ I guess its just that wide eyed look I get from people that throws me.


Tee Tee

 

[Falon]

Girl...just swing that beautiful head of hair when you see people giving you the evil eye! Enjoy it while you got it remember were only young once. Someday when your a great-granny with your wig covering what's left of your gray hair you will look back and think "Dang why didn't I flaunt it when I had it?" Don't worry about what others think. I was looking a this great head of hair last night on the subway maybe she thought i was hating but I was thinking "what a gorgeous head of thick hair wonder what kind of products she uses?" but I rarely approach stangers so you never know you think people are hating maybe they are APPRECIATING!

 

[Crysdon]

[ QUOTE ]
I was looking a this great head of hair last night on the subway maybe she thought i was hating but I was thinking "what a gorgeous head of thick hair wonder what kind of products she uses?" but I rarely approach stangers so you never know you think people are hating maybe they are APPRECIATING!

[/ QUOTE ]

Couldn't have said it better myself. I am one of those people who stare. Sometimes I catch myself and look away, but a lot of times I don't, especially if the woman's hair is brastrap length or longer.

Remember: When someone is staring at your hair, they are not always thinking negative thoughts. Take the time out to smile at the person looking at your hair, maybe she is too shy to ask for advice.

 

[jainygirl]

yeah, let it swing and be free. i dont wear mine down hardly ever but when i get my next touchup i will be bouncing and swinging everywhere

-- it's gonna be my birthday too....y'all know i'm gonna show out

-- jainygirl

 

[Trinity1]

Falon,

I love what you said about only being young once. That is my motto for everything that I do because I know that time passes so quickly,even while I'm typing this response time is passing so you are right I better enjoy it and love it while I am young enough to still have it......LOL.... I'm not that young anymore (I'm 35) but people swear I'm in my 20's because I look alot younger and I'm a size 5 so because of that I have a little more youthful longevity than some women my age

I took my son to get his hair cut yesterday and when we got there he said he had to go to the restroom. So I am walking my son to the bathroom and I could just feel the eyes on me and it was just so intense.....but oh well,I rather walk into a room and be noticed because like Marilyn Monroe once said..."I dont mind the attention that I get,its when the attention stops that I'll start to worry"

Tee Tee

 

[Falon]

I always will remember what my mom said to me recently about stuff like getting too much attention. "When you're young you're like I hope nobody is looking at me I hate when people stare I hate all that attention...when your old it's like...well damn! will somebody look!" I look kind of young for my age too and I have managed to keep my figure even after having my son and now that I understand that time goes I am living it up and ejoying my youth and beauty now so that I won't have no regrets later!

 

[jainygirl]

i've just come to realize that most women are gonna be catty. i love going to the gym and working up a big sweat and not worrying about my "tracks slipping" and all that nonsense. the funny thing is you are right about the guys...they dont say anything but i can see them looking while i'm running on the treadmill like "dang, she aint even worrying about breaking a sweat"

my motto is if i'm not pouring i'm not working out hard enough

i think guys find it kinda nice to see us doing our thing and able to take care of and flaunt our own hair

do your thang girl -- jainygirl

 

[Karonica]

[ QUOTE ]
Falon said:
I was looking a this great head of hair last night on the subway maybe she thought i was hating but I was thinking "what a gorgeous head of thick hair wonder what kind of products she uses?" but I rarely approach stangers so you never know you think people are hating maybe they are APPRECIATING!

[/ QUOTE ]

Exactly. I don't think anyone should equate jealousy with staring, unless the person is continuously rolling their eyes or something.

Jealous people behave differently. It's more like they don't want to be around you because of the attention you're getting or they'll find something negative to say when it isn't necessary or will just treat you very nasty for the time being for no other reason.

JMHO

 

[Edie]

The only one you've got to please is God and then yourself. So enjoy life!

 

[Trinity1]

Edie....I concur,afterall God is first in my life.

Falon,
I love what your mom said. That is sooooo true. I intend to enjoy my youth,the attention and love my hair and swing my hair....lol and remember when they stare its not all about being catty or jealously all of the time,thats just me being negative and assuming the worst in people,which is not a trait I wish to keep so thanks ladies for the insight.


Tee Tee

 

[divine]

shake them ppl off....
love your hair and swing it proudly

 

[Angelicus]

*doing white girl hair toss*

 

[blue_flower]

Hey, Tee Tee!
I feel the same way that you do- that's why I haven't worn my hair out in almost 2-3 years! But that's going to change real soon. I wanted to go to the hair dresser earlier this month, but it's been raining frequently. Hopefully, I can go by the end of this month or early next month. I'm really looking forward to wearing my hair completely out.

 

[Allandra]

[ QUOTE ]
Tee Tee said:
Long and thick hair is great ,but a mixed blessing

[/ QUOTE ]
Girl, you can say that again.

 

[sassygirl125]

My cousin is considering a major cut because no one wants to press or braid her mid back length biiiiiiig hair. (Think Mona on Half & Half on a bad hair day.) The handful of people that agree to do it want to charge her an arm and a leg.

 

[phynestone]

I can't wait until I reach that point. It's going to be nice.

 

[babyblue]

i feel the same as you do thats why my hair is tucked in a bun most of the time. The stares when i wear my hair out make me feel self conscious. people have always commented on my thick hair even accusing me of wearing a wigs and hair pieces. Even worse is when they want to dig their dirty paws to feel in my scalp for tracks.
Dont worry about haters just do your thing im sure your hair is lovely.

 

[webby]

My hair is short now (just grazing my collar bone), but when it was long (well past the bottom of my bra) I always wore it loose. I have fine, but super dense hair and it was always impossible to keep it up in a bun without a million pins. It just also felt more comfortable for me to have it loose.

What I didn't like was sitting under the hair dryer for 4 or 5 hours.

 

[Chin]

I go through the same thing always. That's why I wear my bra strap hair in a ponytail everyday. But they still make comments because they can still see the lenght.

 

[bellydancer]

people stare at me all the time and i don't know why!!! lol at least you know it's because of your hair!!!

 

[webby]

I've mentioned this somewhere before on the board that where I'm from (NYC) there are plenty of AA women with long, healthy hair. I attribute most of this phenomenon to Dominican Salons. When I moved to Pittsburgh my hair was about 30 inches long and super thick. AA women would not even wait until they passed me; they would blurt out, “That’s definitely a weave.”

HELLO?! I’m in earshot!

 

[Trinity1]

Well at least I know that its normal to have these feelings. Thanks Ladies for sharing.

I was thinking that another reason they might stare is because my hair is soooo thick. I am not complaining at all because I love that.When I wear it out its just sooooo much hair......LOL....wearing it in a ponytail is so much easier and sleeker for me. Right now I am going into my 4th week of my relaxer so its going to pretty much be braidouts and ponytails from here on until May 15th when I retouch. I will enjoy wearing my hair out the next time knowing that its all mine and not fake and that the stares from people are simply out of curiousity. I've had men tell me that I have beautiful hair. A couple of my male friends at work like to run their fingers through it....heck the other day I got a free head massage from one of them......LOL...

Its normal to feel a little self conscious when you get alot of attention but I have to remember who I am trying to please in this lifetime.....only God,and he doesnt care what I look like on the outside so its all gravy,right Ladies?


Tee Tee

 

[jrw]

[ QUOTE ]
Tee Tee said:
Do any of you ladies with longer hair feel self conscious about wearing it out because of the attention you get?

[/ QUOTE ]

When I was younger yes, but not anymore. I love wearing my hair out and I love it when people notice. I take all comments and stares as compliments. Obviously my hair is nice otherwise people wouldn't notice or say anything. That's how I feel.