LOAers ... listing the qualities you want in your SO

[Britt]

So, I just had some free time here at work and I've been restless all day...
I looked at my 8"x11" notebook and decided, what the heck, let me write out a random list of qualities i'd like in my future mate. At first, I thought I'd only have few things to write down, but I've already filled the page . Now, none of what I wrote is anal at all or really superficial, and I saw to it that I did not include looks. Heck, Mr. Right could be White . I'm not really fussy/stringent on looks anyway, I'm more big on attraction and personality, which for me is independent on looks... though I do have preference. I did *have* to write down that I'd like someone passionate in the bedroom, but I did not write down that I want someone with a 7.5 incher and bigger ... (I'd love that, can't do a small wee wee )
Now, a lot of what I wrote contrasts the qualities I did not like in my ex SO.
When I was younger and I'd make a list, thinking back, it really did lack depth and I couldn't really write important qualities I wanted in a mate... basically I was just lonely and had a fantasy of what I wanted. Now that I look at my list, I see much more substance.

So, do any you ladies have a list or even a mental list of what your future boo will be like . I always thought making a list would limit my possibilities, you know, like some women make this list of qualities that they want in a man, and then when someone good shows up they dismiss him b/c he's not tall, not enough $, not handsome enough, etc... this is why I purposely left out certain things. I don't want to limit myself...
What I do now is, imagine the feeling that I'd like to have in his presence. I'd like to feel connected to him, at ease and peace around him, not on guard, trusting him, etc.

When I was going through a lot of issues with my ex SO, I noticed that I didn't like the feelings that I had when I was around him, even feelings that I was not completely aware of , or the feelings surrounding our issues. I have a picture in my head of the way I'd like to feel with my ideal SO. On a positive note, had I not gone through a lot of mess I went through, I don't know if I'd have a clear picture of what I really want and what I don't want.

 

[ALWAYZL8]

I made a list in 2007. I feel you on the whole comfort level thing. If something does not feel or sound right, I step back. My instincts are always on point. I never trusted my feelings in the past, but I listen now. I avoided a lot of heartache in 2007 just by trusting my instincts. I have my list of what I want in my mate, but my insticts will serve as my guide in the selection process. I hope you are blessed with what you desire.

 

[Britt]

I made a list in 2007. I feel you on the whole comfort level thing. If something does not feel or sound right, I step back. My instinct are always on point. I never trusted my feelings in the past, but I listen now. I avoided a lot of heartache in 2006 just by trusting my instincts. I have my list of what I want in my mate, but my insticts will serve as my guide in the selection process. I hope you are blessed with what you desire.

Yup. I'm very instinctual when it comes to people, but with my last SO I ignored more than instincts, I admittedly ignored blaring sirens .

 

[Lilakoi’s_Sister]

I made a list in 2007. I feel you on the whole comfort level thing. If something does not feel or sound right, I step back. My instinct are always on point. I never trusted my feelings in the past, but I listen now. I avoided a lot of heartache in 2006 just by trusting my instincts. I have my list of what I want in my mate, but my insticts will serve as my guide in the selection process. I hope you are blessed with what you desire.

yep this is me too. i used to push my gut instincts down but they were always there. this year 2008, i will always listen and not settle. not settling is at the top of my list!

 

[ThickHair]

Yup, I wrote my list last year after reading Star Jones' book. They showed her actual list and she said Al was everything on her list. O-Tay, it works for her.

 

[nadz]

I wrote the list in 06 and got him to the T in 07!

 

[Britt]

Yup, I wrote my list last year after reading Star Jones' book. They showed her actual list and she said Al was everything on her list. O-Tay, it works for her.

Wth, so she asked to be a beard for a flaming gay man erplexed....

I digress... so this list stuff actually works? Interesting....
I guess part of me still thinks it's limiting in certain ways. I mean, essentially, wouldn't God know what's best for me? There may be qualities that I oversee or not even be aware of and thus, not include it on the list. In any event, I have some particular character qualities that I have on my list that are very important...