List the Setbacks You Suffered That You Want Others to Avoid

[Eiano]

ETA: I didn't realize how many of you have already said this, I just jumped in this thread w/ this info cause it's the truth Ruth.. but i am stressing its importance!!


YOU MUST COMB YOUR HAIR DURING WASH DAYS. FAILURE TO DO SO WILL RESULT IN TERRIBLE KNOTS. EXTENDED FAILURE TO COMB HAIR WILL RESULT IN MATTING WHICH THE HAIR DRESSER WILL HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO RIP THOUGH CAUSING MAJOR HAIR LOSS & DAMAGE!!!

yes, this was me on my no combing binge, but no combing doesn't have to mean no combing AT ALL, just limiting the amount of combing done a day. I l i t e r a l l y, didn't comb my hair for 3 months, and when april relaxer time came about... i gained no length and lost lots of thickness....

 

[tapioca_pudding]

Don't cut your DRY ends just because they're DRY. They probably just need moisture

I made the mistake of trimming off my hair when I first went natural cuz the ends were dry. I was mistaking dry hair for damaged/split hair.

Great observation!! I have to keep this in mind......

Great thread ladies!!

 

[Jenibo]

Not detangling often

Not taking care of hair in sew in

Not detangling hair before washing after taking down sew-in

Right now if i just pull on my ends hair comes out and my hair is thin, wispy, and fragile. I really need to start babying my hair now

 

[Stacy TheLady]

My setback was due to the use of a hot comb and even a blow dryer. My hair hates heat. Low to no heat will def be useful in avoiding setbacks.

 

[mscocoface]

For the weak edges and nape ladies. Try going to bed without your silk, satin or sateen scarf or caps and satin pillow cases.

Also go a few days without some type of moisture, conditioning and/or oil to those areas and see how they respond.

Go head I DARE YA!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Leesh]

My hair is very fine and extremely fragile while wet, Me washing once a week was very damaging to My hair, others can do this, and I wish I could, while I have to be very careful with wet hair.

 

[SistaSista]

My set back is the reason why I just joined.

After I gave birth to my son a year ago, my hair started shedding non-stop. On top of that I was not keeping up with my hair like I should have. I wasn't moisturizing like I should, wearing pony tails everyday and relaxing way too often. The result was thinning dry hair with horrible ends. I'm so glad I've found this forum. I am now on my way to recovery!

 

[Leesh]

My set back is the reason why I just joined.

After I gave birth to my son a year ago, my hair started shedding non-stop. On top of that I was not keeping up with my hair like I should have. I wasn't moisturizing like I should, wearing pony tails everyday and relaxing way too often. The result was thinning dry hair with horrible ends. I'm so glad I've found this forum. I am now on my way to recovery!

I just wanted to say "Welcome", I am sure You will find this Board very helpful!

 

[SistaSista]

Thanks. I've learned so much in this short amount of time.

 

[LaidBak]

Not fully understanding the ingredients of what I was putting in my hair caused me a setback. Namely during my regimen building, experimenting phase I used too many products with protein, one on top of each other. I suffered from over proteinization (sorry I can't think a more proper term) 3 or 4 times. I suffered horrible breakage because of that.
Now I know how to maintain my protein moisture balance.

 

[LongTimeComing]

Don't follow every bandwagon

Stay away from anything in a pink container

If a stylist puts a kit perm on yor hair and then sits down to eat.... RUN!

My hair can't stand being wet, so even for a simple bun I have to blowdry to dampness then bun.

Oil sheen is NOT moisture.

Black hair glue is the devil.

Herbal Essences smells really nice, but it does nothing for my hair.

If you wear half wigs is great if you don't have break off your leave out hair like I did.

 

[Miss AJ]

Keep your ends trimmed and healthy. I neglected my ends and they were horrible. They were thin and split, and even the split ends had split ends. I went from grazing APL to barely shoulder length just to get rid of the damage I caused.

 

[jamaraa]

I've never suffered this one, but know a few that have...unintentional dreds. They come from product build up (wax) and not combing/pooing enough to remove the product.

BTW, welcome SistaSista

 

[**SaSSy**]

In the beginning of my journey, I was using way too much protein. Protein is not the enemy, but the solution once you learn how to use it.

 

[Evo-ny]

My biggest mistake was returning to the same shop many many many MANY times for a relaxer. (the ONLY AA hair shop in town, I might add) No matter how many times I told them "ONLY THE NEW GROWTH! DON'T PULL THE RELAXER ALL THE WAY THROUGH!!!" they would never listen and I would end up with a sink full of hair.

Now, I get my hair relaxed by a professional hair colour stylist. Why? Because they're used to using hair colour to touch up only the roots of their regular clients. There's no overlap and it comes out great!

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

Biggest and most important: Allowing stylists to have full control over what to do with my hair.......... kept my hair between APL and SL for years.

Trying to comb my kinky hair when dry or only damp WW mega disaster

Not staying on top of iffy then definitely split endserplexed

Too much heat without adequate heat protectants

Allowing a stylist to ever use something metal to straighten rather then ceramic

EVER sleeping without my satin scarf......... never happens any more.

 

[hillytmj]

Don't cut your DRY ends just because they're DRY. They probably just need moisture

I made the mistake of trimming off my hair when I first went natural cuz the ends were dry. I was mistaking dry hair for damaged/split hair.

I made this same mistake. My ends are texlaxed and I had them trimmed twice in one month (1.5 inches) before I realized what the deal was. Now, I upped my moisture, and I flatiron before I decide if I need a trim or not.

 

[SherylsTresses]

Setback:
Adding an egg to protein conditioner gave me protein overeload

Correction:
Clarifying shampoo

Another one:
Setback:
Losing too much hair when detanging

Correction:
MUST use porosity control as a final rinse (after DC w/ heat) to seal cuticles

 

[SherylsTresses]

Every now and then we get some sad thread regarding a horrible setback a fellow member has suffered from. I thought it would be good to have a central place for some to share their stories of pitfalls they want other to avoid.

MY STORY
I haven't really had any set backs lately, but my older sister who was near midback was chopped to shoulder length becuz a stylist claimed she damaged her hair after 4 days in Hawaii becuz she did not wash the clorine out of her hair good enuf. They was no attempt to remedy the damage rather than whip out a pair of scissors and cut her glory down to size. She has been struggling to get back ever since. I guess everything above her shoulders didn't suffer from any clorine damage right haters

Bummer! Nexxus Phyto Organics Chelating shampoo would've taken care of that!

 

[MrJohnsonsRib]

I think the only setback that I had that I was regretful about was getting too much cut off ym hair when I went to the barber because i didn't know how my fro should be shaped for my face and ended up cutting like over and inch off. I also have lots of breakage but I'm still trying to find that perfect regimen and moisturizer. Plus protective styling is only so limited to my skills so I have trouble doing that. I have to PS with wigs, it's all I know to do really (and can afford). I would just tell anybody that setbacks happen because either you knew better and didn't care or cared but didn't know better, so just get back on your horse and keep going.

 

[PPGbubbles]

Setback:
Adding an egg to protein conditioner gave me protein overeload

Correction:
Clarifying shampoo

I agree with the bold!!! I put and egg in organic root stimulator hair mayo and let it sit for 2 hours....BIG MISTAKE! and I knew nothing at the time about protien moisture balance so I couldnt understand why my hair was snapping

Around the same time I did an overnight DC....ANOTHER BIG MISTAKE!!!....this time I had moisture overload sad I didnt know what I was doing then

this was def pre LHCF when I called myself trying to take better care of my hair. I had to chop off a lot of heat damage/thinned/ broken hair.... Now I know better...You have to learn what your hair likes!

 

[NikStarrr]

Doing wet buns when I was texlaxed. Caused me much breakage. Now that I'm natural, I have no issues with wet bunning. I think it's just too much for chemically processed hair.

 

[shamarie]

Pulling relaxer thru hair like an idiot
permn. hair dyes
heavy moisturizers(too much weight for fine hair)
baggy(over moisture)
Letting stylist pull and rip my hair to achieve a style
Im sure there is more....will ETA if I think of anymore

 

[BoaterGirlKim]

Newbie PJism...though being a newbie, I can't complain too much since my hair is coming from a really jacked state already LOL. Anywhoo, the most recent culprit was co-washing with Organix Coconut Milk Conditioner about 2 weeks ago. The ingredients looked soooo promising (glycerin, jojoba oil, panthenol, silk amino complex, coconut milk, egg white protein, coconut oil) but it left my relaxed hair hard and TANGLED in wads at the end!! I impatiently pulled a comb through some sections and lost a wad of hair from my front center and other spots. This caused me to run for the scissors and do a mini (1/4 inch) snip for the 2nd time in 6 weeks, thinking that I had killed my ends with the rough treatment.

Another cowash boo-boo was sticking with V05 Moisture Milks Strawberries & Cream waaay after my hair told me that it doesn't like the stuff, delicious smell be damned! Shower shedding and shattering ends...finally let it go (sniff sniff).

Now I exclusively cowash with Suave Tropical Coconut (melts my NG). I'm also fanatical about moisturizing and sealing my ends now - two biggest favors I've done for my hair lately!

To avoid future setbacks, I plan on sticking with my reggie and avoiding bandwagons, adding a new product or technique judiciously and paying careful attention to my hair's response. I wanted to give S-curl a try for moisturizing with a glycerin-based product, but I remember my hair didn't like those type products even when I had a jheri curl, so I'll stick with good ole BB Moisturizer with Castor Oil.

 

[BlkOnyx488]

My Set back. I was natural for a year before finding out about LHCF. I didn't really know how to take care of my natural hair, I just wore wigs every day.

I didn't understand my hair and would chop off the ends when thye coiled too much, or just didn't "do right". Then In March of 07 I got interested in this weaving process called Micro beads. I relaxed my hair just because of the weave, any way a few weeks later a friend told me about LHCF in April 07. after that I decided to transition back to natural hair. By September 07 all my relaxed ends just broke off. Fortunately it wasn't too devastating because I had about 3 inches of new growth, so i didn't wake up bald. But now that I am 2 years natural, I keep wondering how long my hair would be today, if I had never put a relaxer back in my hair and I would be 3 years natural.

Oh well as long as God gives me breath of life I will find out what three years natural will look like on me, by September 2010!

 

[mstar]

I had a major setback caused by 2 things: porosity problem, and failing to trim damaged ends.

1) It took me a long while to figure out how to get my porosity in check. I was following the instructions of ladies on this forum, and their ACV rinses were WAY too strong for my hair. Some people use up to 4 tablespoons per 2 cups of water! My hair dried out something awful, and then the breakage set in. I finally figured out that I need just over half a teaspoon of ACV for my perfect rinse. Moral of the story: learn about the pH of vinegar before you attempt to use it on your hair.

2) I suffered heat damage as soon as I started my hair journey, but I decided not to trim until September, because I wanted to make APL before I trimmed. Well, between April and September my hair grew almost 4 inches, but in July it started breaking due to the bad ends. I lost between 4-6 inches in some places. So by the time September rolled around, parts of my hair were APL, but the breakage was so bad that I had to have more than 4 inches chopped off, taking me back to SL. My new length is SHORTER than my starting length! Had I gone ahead and trimmed immediately, I wouldn't have lost all my length. Moral of the story: Please don't hang on to damaged ends for the sake of vanity. IT'S NOT WORTH IT.

 

[lolascurls]

- I kept going to different salons to get my relaxer...and then my scalp would be burnt! I finally started self-relaxing and texlaxing...haven't looked back since.
- Did not DC at all! What dry hair I had was breaking off so fast and thin at the ends.
- Was detangling with conditioner in my hair in the shower - not so good with fine/thin strands and NG! Now I wait till my hair is damp post-wash with a leave-in or moisturizer. Coconut oil is AMAZING!
- Used to comb my relaxed hair with a fine-tooth comb soon after a fresh service! So much breakage!

I started co-washing, moisturizing and sealing daily and protective styling with buns....my hair grew to APL from SL in 3 months!

 

[preciouslove0x]

Don't follow every bandwagon

Stay away from anything in a pink container

If a stylist puts a kit perm on yor hair and then sits down to eat.... RUN!

My hair can't stand being wet, so even for a simple bun I have to blowdry to dampness then bun.

Oil sheen is NOT moisture.

Black hair glue is the devil.

Herbal Essences smells really nice, but it does nothing for my hair.

If you wear half wigs is great if you don't have break off your leave out hair like I did.

this statement has happened to me SOOOOOOOO many times its ridiculous. but of course i didnt know any better. my stylist would go eat a full meal and then have the nerve to come back after she's done and ask me "is it burning yet?"

 

[Lucia]

Major set-back 1: a stylist said she was just going to trimm the weak ends, my hair was lighter on the ends cause of the sun, not damage, so even though I said don't take too much off like about 2 incehs she cut me from top of BSL to shoulder length oh and she was Egyptian.
Major Setback 2:
I had decided to wear braids to transition out of relaxers, I washed the braids like I did my normal hair. I didn't know anything realky about braids, and i never moisturized or oiled. when I tried to take them out 4 months later, my hair was a tangled matted mess, especially the relaxed ends which was most of my hair, so my mom cut it down to 2-3 inches all around. I balled, then I re-braided and started over.

Minor setback 1: I was wearing a braided weave that I still use now and I had some new growth and my headband wasn't big enought o cover the front hairs, so I pushed the weave line foward and brushed the new growth down. Good thing I had better weaving habits then I took the weaves down every 2-3 months, when I took it down I had some thin spots along my hairline.
Now I re-do my weave before the new growth gets that long, I smooth conditioner, and gel in the hairline with my fingers, no brushing, no pushing, no pulling, no shampooing (shaking rubbing the hair)

Minor Setback 2:
I got super blond highlights just in front about 1 inch thick meshes. My hair was so fried my curls were straight just in he front. No amount of deep conditioning could fix it, it looked like corn husk left out to dry. I cut the meshes down to 1 inch, dyed them brown/black with bigen and blended then into the rest of my hair.

Almost setback/WARNING!
I was at a salon to get my hair pressed straight, I had a proper trimm 2 weeks before and she listened to me and only cut what I asked. the shampoo girl tried to detangle my natural hair with fine tooth, I stopped her and used my own big comb.
Next after my hair was straight and swinging, the stylist came up behind me with scissors to cut. Mind you I didn't agree to a cut, and she never mentioned me needing a trimm, she was just going to cut. I got up to pay and saw her with the scissors in her hand and she had a look of surprise on her face. I was like why did you bring out the scissors, oh I though you could use a trim. I just had a trimm 2 weeks ago, see. That's when she really looked stupid, then says oh yeah I guess your ends are OK. So I paid and left and NEVER went back there.