List the Setbacks You Suffered That You Want Others to Avoid

[Ediese]

Lessons Learned

1. DO NOT take out your weave that you wore for 6+ weeks, and wash your hair right away without detangling first. Trust me, it will get matted and make it impossible for you to detangle afterwards. I did this before even though my cousin instructed me not to. I told her 'girl, I have pretty hair. Nothing will happen. My hair is too soft to loc up'. lol It's pretty sad because I was trying to keep all of my new growth, and didn't want to lose the shed hair (didn't know at the time that the shed hair was normal). Anyway, I took out the weave that was installed for 3 mos., and I washed without detangling. Although, my hair grew so much, I had to chop off all of my progress because of the severe matting. That was a pretty good lesson learned.

2. Do not apply a permanent color, and a relaxer the next day. I did that when I was about 14. I was in the bathtub washing out the relaxer, and my hair started coming out in patches. I started screaming down the house, and my mother had just gotten on the church bus so I had to deal with it on my own. I lost ALL my hair then. It was really sad because I had my church confirmation, and didn't have any hair to wear in a veil. My mom took me to get a short cut (about 1"). That was a really traumatic experience. It's been 10 years and I still remember it like it was yesterday. NEVER AGAIN!!!

 

[OneInAMillion]

Here are some mistakes pre-LHCF:

1. I colored my hair, then got a relaxer 2 weeks later. Worst thing I could have had done, and it amounted to instant breakage and thin hair. Fine hair is just not as resilient as coarse or medium strands.

2. Listening to any hairdresser with a license, you know how that story goes! You can't trust everyone to have healthy hair care knowledge, though there are many out there, you just have to search.

Here are some simple things that help me prevent setbacks:

1. Listen to your hair. It sounds silly, but I use shampoo, conditioner, and treatments based on how my hair feels during the week, or how it has been acting. I can't simply clarify or do hardcore protein treatments on a schedule. I do these things as necessary. For example, if I've been conditioner washing all week, as soon as I feel that my hair is a little too moisturized, I incorporate more protein. It's all about finding a balance.

2. Don't over do it with bandwagons and such. Less is more

 

[mezzogirl]

Aprilbiz, why do you think your hair fell out? Were you using a relaxer that was too strong for your hair or could you have possibly not rinsed all of the relaxer out? There are many people who self-relax and their hair is thriving. I'm about to do my first self-relaxer in a long time and would like to know if you can pinpoint what went wrong so I can avoid it.

Ladies I've had the setback of all setbacks and there is really no comeback for a few years.

I gave myself a couple bad perms. My hair got really tangled once, so I lost a lot and the next bad perm, a big section in the back just plumb fell out.

So now I have these long bra-strap length sides, the hair in the back is paper thin and a few inches past my shoulders and underneath it is 1/2 long hair.

Can we say "a mess."? Now my only hope is to wear sew-ins for a few years to get the other hair to catch up. It's either that or ponytails and buns everyday.

I'm really still in shock that I let this happen!

Warning: Ladies, please be careful with the home perms!

 

[Dposh167]

#1)do not under-estimate the power of shikakai powder

i did the tea rinse as usual, but thought I'd be cute and put a lil more shikakai powder than amla in there (to give my hair much more strength). It was dilluted A LOT with water, but that didn't matter. IT TORE MY HAIR UP. It took 2 months to get it back to the way it was...and its still has not recovered!..Its dry and it ruined my poor ends!

#2) Relaxed bone straight ladies PLEASE understand the value of keratin protein.

I went an entire 3 month stretch without this protein and wondered why my hair was not taking in moisture as normal. I clarified,chelated,DC'ed, low-coned, everything imaginable. But my hair would not drink up. Turns out, i was substituting shikakai powder, & plant extracts as my proteins. Which helps strengthen, but it's not keratin!...once i used a keratin reconstructor (ion)..my hair just drank up anything I gave it. Keratin not only aides with strength, but it also helps with ur moisture retention

 

[Nola Darling]

Letting a stylist flat iron my blow out, flat iron, AND marcel my hair!!! WTF Why did I let her use the marcel. It was straight enough!!!! NEVER AGAIN!!!

 

[tinkat]

Lessons Learned

1. DO NOT take out your weave that you wore for 6+ weeks, and wash your hair right away without detangling first. Trust me, it will get matted and make it impossible for you to detangle afterwards. I did this before even though my cousin instructed me not to. I told her 'girl, I have pretty hair. Nothing will happen. My hair is too soft to loc up'. lol It's pretty sad because I was trying to keep all of my new growth, and didn't want to lose the shed hair (didn't know at the time that the shed hair was normal). Anyway, I took out the weave that was installed for 3 mos., and I washed without detangling. Although, my hair grew so much, I had to chop off all of my progress because of the severe matting. That was a pretty good lesson learned. QUOTE]

I completely agree, I detangled but obviously not good enough. That setback sped up my journey to go natural. I would have had more hair as a natural but I did not know what to do and got a relaxer with the quickness.

 

[redd]

#1)do not under-estimate the power of shikakai powder

i did the tea rinse as usual, but thought I'd be cute and put a lil more shikakai powder than amla in there (to give my hair much more strength). It was dilluted A LOT with water, but that didn't matter. IT TORE MY HAIR UP. It took 2 months to get it back to the way it was...and its still has not recovered!..Its dry and it ruined my poor ends!

#2) Relaxed bone straight ladies PLEASE understand the value of keratin protein.

I went an entire 3 month stretch without this protein and wondered why my hair was not taking in moisture as normal. I clarified,chelated,DC'ed, low-coned, everything imaginable. But my hair would not drink up. Turns out, i was substituting shikakai powder, & plant extracts as my proteins. Which helps strengthen, but it's not keratin!...once i used a keratin reconstructor (ion)..my hair just drank up anything I gave it. Keratin not only aides with strength, but it also helps with ur moisture retention

How often were u doing the shikakai tea rinses?

 

[baddison]

Awesome thread! I'm learning so much!!

 

[Lucky's Mom]

Wow.... in my 20's I jumped from one hairdresser to the next.....

I was following all my friends - when the Hair dresser I had for 2 years only did rollersets.....

My hair was not great - but it was better than when I jumped around.
What a disaster.

Obviously - I am done with stylists.

 

[Menina Preta]

I just started the healthier hair growing thing, but one thing I would say to avoid is constant Dominican blowouts. I live in the northeast and blowouts are all the rage here. My main stylist is Dominican, and while she does a great job, the heat is wayyy too much for my scalp and my temples. My temples are thinning and my scalp is perpetually dry.

These two things, plus the breakage led me back to LHCF(I lurked during the first 2 years of college) and to caring for my own hair. I'll go back to her for relaxers, but I'm not trying to have any hot blowdryer on my scalp ever again.

 

[BeautifulFlower]

Thanks for this advice. I'll make sure I do my 2min keratin reconstructor on schedule!

#1)do not under-estimate the power of shikakai powder

i did the tea rinse as usual, but thought I'd be cute and put a lil more shikakai powder than amla in there (to give my hair much more strength). It was dilluted A LOT with water, but that didn't matter. IT TORE MY HAIR UP. It took 2 months to get it back to the way it was...and its still has not recovered!..Its dry and it ruined my poor ends!

#2) Relaxed bone straight ladies PLEASE understand the value of keratin protein.

I went an entire 3 month stretch without this protein and wondered why my hair was not taking in moisture as normal. I clarified,chelated,DC'ed, low-coned, everything imaginable. But my hair would not drink up. Turns out, i was substituting shikakai powder, & plant extracts as my proteins. Which helps strengthen, but it's not keratin!...once i used a keratin reconstructor (ion)..my hair just drank up anything I gave it. Keratin not only aides with strength, but it also helps with ur moisture retention

 

[caribeandiva]

I took the no combing thing a little to far. I'm 4a/b and I stretch relaxers, but somehow I thought I could detangle with only a extra wide tooth shower comb. Well by the time relaxer time came I was stuck with a head full of knots.

i agree! i'd cowash everyday and then not comb for months at time. Big mistake! my poor sister had to detangle them dreads (yes dreads) when i finally decided to wear my hair straight. Never again. Lesson: Detangle often ladies.

 

[Blessed_Angel]

this is what I don't get. no one will listen to us "healthy-headed" (some long and healthy) people, but will swear by their bald-headed hairdresser.

I don't get that either!!

 

[Blessed_Angel]

Let the church say AMEN!!!

I've had two setbacks.

One was a few months ago when I was co washing every day. After I co washed I would comb and BRUSH my hair back into a bun. I was kinda rough with the brush too, cause I figured the brush wouldn't do any damage since it was a boar bristle brush. WRONG!! The next time I relaxed, I had NO progress! I was so sad and disappointed. Ladies, don't brush wet hair!

The other one was when I used that garbage Optimum Oil Therapy conditioner. Before I put it on, I started feeling really nervous and my stomach was turning. I ignored my intuition and used it anyway. My hair hasn't been the same since. It's breaking, dull, rough.... I've tried clarifying, chelating, deep conditioning, steaming, co washing. Nothing has brought my hair back from that conditioner If you have a feeling that you shouldn't use a certain product, DON'T use it!!!

I just told someone that! I didn't think it was supposed to be done; but I wasn't sure why. Now I know. Thanks for your great advice. BTW, I don't like their products anyway.

I had the same thing happen to me after using that darn Nutrine Garlic Shampoo. My hair still hasn't been the same. Even after I got my moisture back, I still had some breakage. I experienced so much breakage, that I was praying that the hair in my comb was the shedding I was originally trying to get rid of.

And then I started flat ironing my roots to keep that fresh look. And while my hair was breaking too! I even used to hear my hair sizzle, and wasn't sure if that was good or not (that was after applying the hair serum). I'm pretty sure that's what broke off the middle and front of my hair!

And then my thyroid started acting up; and now my hair is dull and dry. Nothing is working for me that will last. My hair looked good after washing for a day or two. Hopefully, it will look good again soon.

 

[puddin]

Love this thread... My mistakes

• Using permanant hair color...that was a major no, no for me...
• Using flat irons without a heat thermastat...I suffered major breakage b/c the irons were just too hot... 410 degrees!!!. I'm still trying to figure out the correct temp (go a new SEDU with thermastat settings).

 

[Duchesse]

My setback is going natural 5 times....maybe more

For the past 6 years I have gone through cutting my hair all off to growing it out for about 6 months, then relaxing it for 6 months. Then I start the process all over. I'm indecisive about natural vs. perm. I can't decided how I want my hair. Since my hair grows nicely anyway..it's a justification for my cutting: "It's just hair, it'll grow back"


So now I'm permed after being 4 months natural. After wearing this perm for 2 months, I want to be natural again. I decided this time no more extreme BC's, so If I decide to give up the creamy crack, I'll transition. As my best friend states, my hair would be to my butt if I stopped cutting it.

So, My setback is constant BC's and impatience...Maybe its because I'm bipolar...My moodiness affects my hair...lol

We must be bipolar twins, because this is my EXACT problem!

My indecisiveness is my biggest setback. I would have bootay length hair if I just stuck to one or the other.

 

[Blessed_Angel]

• Wearing ponytail holders, period. = breakage

• Applying henna/indigo on dry hair = breakage

• Adding lemon juice or any other acid to henna mix = breakage

• Being of fine/thin strands, detangling under water in the shower = breakage/pre-mature shedding

Does this go for thin hair; or could thick haired woman do this? I just learned on here that this is a good thing to do...is it not?

 

[myronnie]

i agree! i'd cowash everyday and then not comb for months at time. Big mistake! my poor sister had to detangle them dreads (yes dreads) when i finally decided to wear my hair straight. Never again. Lesson: Detangle often ladies.

Yup I had this too..it was really bad! I would also cowash often and wouldn't comb for a week
After the 8th week post, my hair started dreading up BAD. I had to sit there for hours each week and just detangle those darn dreads..worst situation ever.

 

[chebaby]

my only setback was the fact that for seven years i got my hair trimmed every two weeks. do you know i just realized thats why my hair never reached past apl. well i've trimmed only twice in the past two and a half months. im glad.
i know some pple only trim twice a year but im not there yet.

 

[gymfreak336]

I am going to quote Sonce on this one

"Don't build try to build a house on sand and wonder why it won't stand"

Basically, don't ignore the basic principles and think you are going somewhere. Protein/moisture balance, understanding what porosity is, understanding what elasticity is..... All of these basic hair principles are things you need to learn and understand. Once you understand how your hair is made and what the ideal balance is for you, many setbacks can be avoided and when you get into trouble, you will know how to treat your problem.

 

[LeadingLady]

Don't get a hair cut when you are going through some kind of drama and/or are sick. It will seem like a good idea at the time, but later on you will regret it.

 

[SoOoNY]

I never knew how to do my hair myself... and when i finally learned i didn't have the proper care... i just did anything to achieve my desired results

Relaxing to often...

Coloring too often without proper moisture

then when i finally did find the website, i did too much at once... i had to cut it between neck and ear length to save it

 

[sky035]

Adding Natural Instincts hair colour to my texturized hair What a disaster. This product changed my hair's texture, made my hair EXTREMELY dry, and no amount of product made a difference. I recently cut 1 inch off, and I hope to cut off the last inch or two October. My lesson learned: I WILL NEVER EVER TOUCH AN AT HOME COLOUR AGAIN! Major setback to my ultimate goal.

 

[january noir]

Does this go for thin hair; or could thick haired woman do this? I just learned on here that this is a good thing to do...is it not?

If you have thicker, stronger hair, natural or relaxed, then detangling in the shower would be fine.

I have thin/fine, texlaxed hair (more fragile) and the force of the water coming out of the shower head can break hairs unless the shower head setting is like a soft rain. My hair thinned out a lot! So I just say no to shower detangling.

 

[cocomochaa]

getting over excited in april when i revealed my haiir after weaving for 4months. Flat ironed, blowdried my hair silly. THEN put it back into weave all was well till i decided to take it down and wash it. The tangles were like dreds . That was yesterday. Now im my next goal in april was to reach midback by end of summer..now its to thicken up and hit brastap. My lesson is HEAT IS EVIL and make sure you detangle BEFORE you wash.

 

[Ediese]

getting over excited in april when i revealed my haiir after weaving for 4months. Flat ironed, blowdried my hair silly. THEN put it back into weave all was well till i decided to take it down and wash it. The tangles were like dreds . That was yesterday. Now im my next goal in april was to reach midback by end of summer..now its to thicken up and hit brastap. My lesson is HEAT IS EVIL and make sure you detangle BEFORE you wash.

^^ Wow.. sorry to hear that. I posted my lesson learned about not detangling before washing after you take down a sew-in. I wish you would have had a chance to read it beforehand. Sorry about that. It'll grow back just as healthy before you know it.

Thanks OP for this thread. I'm sure it'll help a lot of people. I know I'm surely taking notes.

 

[MD_Lady]

Every now and then we get some sad thread regarding a horrible setback a fellow member has suffered from. I thought it would be good to have a central place for some to share their stories of pitfalls they want other to avoid.

MY STORY
I haven't really had any set backs lately, but my older sister who was near midback was chopped to shoulder length becuz a stylist claimed she damaged her hair after 4 days in Hawaii becuz she did not wash the clorine out of her hair good enuf. They was no attempt to remedy the damage rather than whip out a pair of scissors and cut her glory down to size. She has been struggling to get back ever since. I guess everything above her shoulders didn't suffer from any clorine damage right haters

Oh my gracious! I could never imagine doing something like that to a person. I don't get some of these "stylists" out here.

 

[ivyQuietstorm]

Great Thread!!

Lessons Learned:

• Pre-LHCF - Don't ever, perm your hair under the influence!! I don't know what i was thinking, but my thick hair turned paper thin and a horrible light brown color. It took 2 years of no relaxing to get my hair back to it's orginial thickness. From now on no more self relaxing.
• Don't let a stylist pressure you into trimming. I got a trim in February and the stylist was institing that i needed another in April. Are you kidding me? Her mouth just lost her another customer. She should have left it alone, but she kept talking about me "needing a trim" to get my hair to grow like I want it.
• Don't let anyone come within one foot of you with PUMP-IT-UP spritz. That stuff will strip any bit of moisture from your mane.
• Don't let a shampoo girl turn the hand dryer on hell and try and blow your dry hair. I must have been crazy. I think that little girl fried my hair.
• No body knows what's best for your hair EXCEPT YOU!!

 

[HoneyA]

I haven't had any major setbacks because I caught any problems quickly.

Baggying consistently - broke the ends of my hair
Bunning consistently to one side-thinned my hair out on the right side
Not using enough oil on the ends of my hair or none at all- it was thin, thickened right up when I started using coconut, castor and olive oils

I'll post if I think of any more.

 

[HeChangedMyName]

Great Thread!!

Lessons Learned:

• Pre-LHCF - Don't ever, perm your hair under the influence!! I don't know what i was thinking, but my thick hair turned paper thin and a horrible light brown color. It took 2 years of no relaxing to get my hair back to it's orginial thickness. From now on no more self relaxing.
• Don't let a stylist pressure you into trimming. I got a trim in February and the stylist was institing that i needed another in April. Are you kidding me? Her mouth just lost her another customer. She should have left it alone, but she kept talking about me "needing a trim" to get my hair to grow like I want it.
• Don't let anyone come within one foot of you with PUMP-IT-UP spritz. That stuff will strip any bit of moisture from your mane.
• Don't let a shampoo girl turn the hand dryer on hell and try and blow your dry hair. I must have been crazy. I think that little girl fried my hair.
• No body knows what's best for your hair EXCEPT YOU!!

SMH and ROFLOL at the bold. Pump-It-Up whewwwwwwwww