List the Disadvantages of Dating an Aesthetically Challenged Man

MissJ

MissJ

Well-Known Member
- Friends/family thinking outloud that he must be "real nice."
- Having to defend your choice of a mate.
- When the ish hits the fan, you can't stand to look at him. :look:
 
- knowing inside that no matter how great he is, he's probably not your first choice
- seeing old boyfriends with cute girls
- the fear of your children looking just like him

By the way, Miss J you need to be briefing or reviewing! What does this have to do with Torts and Contracts? j/k:grin:
 
Maybe I'm weird or have disgustingly high standards, but most guys that I see with women (all levels of attractiveness) aren't attractive. The average guy is kinda :ohwell: looking. Women talk all kinds of smack, but let a guy have the right amount of money or some other quality they want and it's a closed deal.

Anyhoo, the only disadvantage I see is that your kids might look like him. Even if he's fine, people are going to talk, hell if he's too fine, people might say he's too attractive for the girl or that he'll cheat. I also think that if you're really attracted to someone on all levels they start to seem attractive to you, their aesthetics become pleasing to your eye. Then again, this may just be me and my crazy self.

I don't think anyone should get with anyone they don't find attractive. If I were unattractive (:look:) I would resent knowing that I was someone's charity case or that they thought I were unattracitve. There are enough people with varying aesthetic preferences that anyone can find another person that finds them attractive.
 
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*Waves hand* I married one:perplexed:look:

I think you all have listed the disadvantages but here are some notable comments I've gotten over the years:

-your children will not be cute:blush:
-he has to be good in bed
-he must be very nice
-he must have money
-you must have just given up:ohwell:
-you'll get tired of looking at him
-what's a pretty girl like you doing with a guy like that:nono:
-wait and have kids to see if it works out
-wow, you always dated PHINE guys
-I woudln't put y'all together or you two don't match

I got those comments from family and friends and yes you get tired of defending them but I have to say that I'm so over that.

I used to be really worried I'd see ex-bf's and they'd think "WOW __ really got with a dog":ohwell: and yes in the past I've felt a tinge of envy seeing friends with the 'cute' hubbies and the proverbial cute kids but 10 years and two (cute) kids later, I think I've got something better than they do:yep:
 
It sucks when your SO used to be really good-looking and now is just... eh. And when problems come up, it makes you even more discouraged to fix things because it's just another bad point.
 
I guess I don't understand the diff. between an 'aestetically challenged' man (are we talking Flava Flav, Seal or Dwayne- Tisha Campbell's Husband?) and an 'attractive' man. :ohwell:

I get that most of us will not have the Boris Kodjoe/Shemar Moore/Moris Chestnuts of the world on our arm, but what is the difference between your average, attractive man and a 'dog' ?? :confused:
 
SleekandBouncy said:
Maybe I'm weird or have disgustingly high standards, but most guys that I see with women (all levels of attractiveness) aren't attractive. The average guy is kinda :ohwell: looking. Women talk all kinds of smack, but let a guy have the right amount of money or some other quality they want and it's a closed deal.
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S&B said what I was thinking. I think the aesthetic standards for women are much higher than they are for men. I'm guilty of that double-standard myself. I often see pretty women with average men and think nothing of it. Bu when I see a very attractive man with an "aesthetically challenged" woman that I think "Hmm. She must be special..." (yes, I'm ashamed:blush:)
 
Pat Mahurr said:
S&B said what I was thinking. I think the aesthetic standards for women are much higher than they are for men. I'm guilty of that double-standard myself. I often see pretty women with average men and think nothing of it. Bu when I see a very attractive man with an "aesthetically challenged" woman that I think "Hmm. She must be special..." (yes, I'm ashamed:blush:)
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lol...ITA...I think in general you don't see that often two equally attractive people together...often one is better looking than the other

I wouldn't date anyone I thought was aesthetically challenged...he may not be a 10, but I wouldn't date him if I thought he were a 5....but if he's a 7 and the personality is just amazing he'll average out to a 10
 
cupcake said:
I guess I don't understand the diff. between an 'aestetically challenged' man (are we talking Flava Flav, Seal or Dwayne- Tisha Campbell's Husband?) and an 'attractive' man. :ohwell:

I get that most of us will not have the Boris Kodjoe/Shemar Moore/Moris Chestnuts of the world on our arm, but what is the difference between your average, attractive man and a 'dog' ?? :confused:
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you think Dwayne Martin is comparable to Flava Flav? I always thought he was kinda cute:look:. Guess ppl do have different taste. My ex wasn't that cute but he had the greatest personality in the world. He just became attractive to me over time. He thought my family didn't like him, and my brother told him that my family just didnt think he was that attractive but they didnt dislike him:blush:. I was mortified that he actually told him that!!!:nono:
 
I find my man extremely attractive.

How about the advantages of an unattractive man?

- So many women won't give him a second look and hence miss out on what could be the best thing in the world - you have him all to yourself:grin:.
 
CaramelPrincezz said:
you think Dwayne Martin is comparable to Flava Flav? I always thought he was kinda cute:look:. Guess ppl do have different taste. My ex wasn't that cute but he had the greatest personality in the world. He just became attractive to me over time. He thought my family didn't like him, and my brother told him that my family just didnt think he was that attractive but they didnt dislike him:blush:. I was mortified that he actually told him that!!!:nono:
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:lachen: :lachen: :lachen: @ your brother telling that man he was not pleasing to the eyes :lachen:


I follow my mother's motto when I see people together and I think one is unattractive....there is somebody for everybody. People have told me and husband we look like we could be brother and sister....doesn't bother us, we each think the other is the shiznit :rofl:
 
Heck...I want me an "ugly" man...when they are too cute, then you have to worry about other chics scheming on him....is craig mack single? :thumbsup:
 
No not at all! I was trying to go from one end of the spectrum (Flav) to the other (Dwayne). I guess it's all just subjective. Average in my eyes could be Ugly in another's.
CaramelPrincezz said:
you think Dwayne Martin is comparable to Flava Flav? I always thought he was kinda cute:look:. Guess ppl do have different taste. My ex wasn't that cute but he had the greatest personality in the world. He just became attractive to me over time. He thought my family didn't like him, and my brother told him that my family just didnt think he was that attractive but they didnt dislike him:blush:. I was mortified that he actually told him that!!!:nono:
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kels823 said:
Attractive to what standards? What you think is sexy and what I think is sexy can be two totally different things.. :yep:
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I meant that he didn't look good to you when you first encountered him. After you got to know him, it may have become a different story.
 
CaramelPrincezz said:
you think Dwayne Martin is comparable to Flava Flav? I always thought he was kinda cute:look:. Guess ppl do have different taste. My ex wasn't that cute but he had the greatest personality in the world. He just became attractive to me over time. He thought my family didn't like him, and my brother told him that my family just didnt think he was that attractive but they didnt dislike him:blush:. I was mortified that he actually told him that!!!:nono:
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Wow, that's bold.

The people I've dated were aesthetically challenge, but they had great personalities. When the personalities/behavior took a turn for the worse, I would start to notice the unatractiveness more.
 
Another disadvanatage:

The current sees the aesthetically challenged ex and instantly downgrades you. :ohwell:
 
Umm well the biggest disadvantage for me would be not wanting to ummm you know on sight. :look: Okay so I have a problem.... Unattractive men don't keep my attention long. I like my eye candy. :lick: :lol: But seriously, if the man treats you good and is average should there really be that much of a problem? And attractiveness is relative. My moms family always talked about my dad like a dog. I think he's average looking but clearly they didn't. And I ended up looking like he spit me out ever since I was a baby. Yet the same family fawns over how pretty I am. Go figure?
 
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CaramelPrincezz said:
you think Dwayne Martin is comparable to Flava Flav? I always thought he was kinda cute:look:. Guess ppl do have different taste. My ex wasn't that cute but he had the greatest personality in the world. He just became attractive to me over time. He thought my family didn't like him, and my brother told him that my family just didnt think he was that attractive but they didnt dislike him:blush:. I was mortified that he actually told him that!!!:nono:
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:lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen:

The only disadvantage I see is the children might me affected by it. Other than that...................

My mother last husband was ugly but she always said, I'm done having children"
 
vivmaiko said:
I find my man extremely attractive.

How about the advantages of an unattractive man?

- So many women won't give him a second look and hence miss out on what could be the best thing in the world - you have him all to yourself:grin:.
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Yea I thought this was true too....until I witnessed first-hand my roommate go absolutely insane....
 
vivmaiko said:
How about the advantages of an unattractive man?

- So many women won't give him a second look and hence miss out on what could be the best thing in the world - you have him all to yourself:grin:.
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Not true. They'll see you with him and wonder what it is that's so good about him, and they'll wonder why he's so devoted to you. Then they'll want him for themselves. They don't care how he looks.

I had the chance to chat with an ex a while ago, and it was rather cathartic. He told about what some people thought about me/us:

Him : u wanna know something?
Me: what?
Him : one time i took u to those african students meeting... oh those girls were lit up with jealousy... they could have ripped you apart if they got a chance
Him: just last year one of them actually told me that too !!
Him : but she said they all thought you were beautiful too and you looked really good next to me
Him: ;) from someone else, that said a lot about you !

Okay, so I was about to get jumped over a big headed boy by some people I didn't even know. I'm a lover not a fighter, so they would have been fighting by themselves. :rolleyes: I think a man who's taken is more attractive to other women than a single. That way they know he has something that someone wants.
 
other men don't think you're together b/c the two of you don't 'match' in terms of looks...

this happened to me. guys would openly hit on me when i was with him, because they didnt think we were together. no one ever assumed we were together. this made him resentful, clingy in public and paranoid!!

that relationship ended. then i dated a guy that was FINE and people always assumed we were "together", even before we were...
 
As time goes by, he becomes uglier and uglier. You start treating him more like a brother or friend than anything else. You cant be mean to him because he is so good to you. But at times you are, because like someone else here said, when he does something wrong, it emphasizes his yucky looks even more.

But when he treats you like gold, gives you everything, you tell yourself that you are being shallow and that it's YOU with the problem. You say to yourself looks aren't everything. You shouldn't blame someone for something that they had nothing to do with. So what if everyone else you've been with could give Boris Kodjoe a run for his money...So you fight it and fight it.

Can you tell I've been there, fought that battle and lost :lol:

I'm much wiser now though.
 
wow.. those stories are funny. my mama always tells me to make sure i marry someone i love cause my kids will end up looking like him.
 
Originally Posted by sweetness0099
Heck...I want me an "ugly" man...when they are too cute, then you have to worry about other chics scheming on him....is craig mack single? :thumbsup:

Yeah - but if the UGLY man cheats... how pissed would you be? :burnup:
 
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