List the Disadvantages of Dating an Aesthetically Challenged Man

[MissJ]

Aesthetically challenged men can and do cheat.

 

[cocoberry10]

As always :thatsall:

Maybe I'm weird or have disgustingly high standards, but most guys that I see with women (all levels of attractiveness) aren't attractive. The average guy is kinda looking. Women talk all kinds of smack, but let a guy have the right amount of money or some other quality they want and it's a closed deal.

Anyhoo, the only disadvantage I see is that your kids might look like him. Even if he's fine, people are going to talk, hell if he's too fine, people might say he's too attractive for the girl or that he'll cheat. I also think that if you're really attracted to someone on all levels they start to seem attractive to you, their aesthetics become pleasing to your eye. Then again, this may just be me and my crazy self.

I don't think anyone should get with anyone they don't find attractive. If I were unattractive look I would resent knowing that I was someone's charity case or that they thought I were unattracitve. There are enough people with varying aesthetic preferences that anyone can find another person that finds them attractive.

 

[cocoberry10]

Aesthetically challenged men can and do cheat.

:thatsall: And sometimes, they cheat more than attractive men, since they are usually more insecure!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[CandiceC]

:thatsall: And sometimes, they cheat more than attractive men, since they are usually more insecure!!!!!!!!!!!

I agree. I also think aesthetically challenged men may not have as many opportunities presented to them so they may be more tempted when another woman does approach.

 

[sunnydaze]

First, I agree that an ugly man can cheat just as quickly as a good looking man. We've all seen ugly men act like they are the ish - these guys are everywhere. As long as he has some kind of money going on...he ain't ugly any more to about 75% of us..lol

I have always believed that a man's top commodity is his ability to provide...and a woman's is how she looks. I don't think its right per se, but I believe it to be true. Why else would a good looking woman give an ugly man a chance at all? He was nice and most likely came across as a potential good provider.

Many times we as women want to discuss all we have going for ourselves with listing things like "I make good money" or "I own my own home" up top, when a man most likely does not care. Those are qualities we as women,are looking for in a mate. I think they are mainly thinking, "yea, yea, yea, but how do fill out this dress".

 

[cocoberry10]

you think Dwayne Martin is comparable to Flava Flav? I always thought he was kinda cute. Guess ppl do have different taste. My ex wasn't that cute but he had the greatest personality in the world. He just became attractive to me over time. He thought my family didn't like him, and my brother told him that my family just didnt think he was that attractive but they didnt dislike him. I was mortified that he actually told him that!!!

at the bold parts!

 

[CandiceC]

First, I agree that an ugly man can cheat just as quickly as a good looking man. We've all seen ugly men act like they are the is - they are everywhere. As long as he has some kind of money going on...he ain't ugly any more to about 75% of us..lol

I have always believed that a man's top commodity is his ability to provide...and a woman's is how she looks. I don't think its right per se, but I believe it to be true. Why else would a good looking woman give an ugly man a chance at all? He was nice and most likely came across as a potential good provider.

Many times we as women want to discuss all we have going for ourselves with listing things like "I make good money" or "I own my own home" up top, when a man most likely does not care. Those are qualities we as women,are looking for in a mate. I think they are mainly thinking, "yea, yea, yea, but how do you look in a dress".

Right. My husband is attractive, but I notice his confidence increases the more money he makes. It's about being able to provide moreso for men.


Yep. Men don't care about all that. Especially when just starting off with a woman. When it starts getting serious a woman with a nice income and home is great when building a life together. Other than that they just want you to look good!

 

[cocoberry10]

Heck...I want me an "ugly" man...when they are too cute, then you have to worry about other chics scheming on him....is craig mack single?

Sadly, ugly men do cheat, and sometimes are bigger dogs than fine men. My older sister’s most heinous boyfriend was the ugliest man I’ve ever laid eyes on (and I don’t use the term ugly very often on people, nor do I use it lightly). Anyway, he cheated on her, got another girl pregnant, and was just a terrible person. Everyone always used to say “why are you with that guy?” “You are waaaaaaaaaaaay too pretty to be with him?” She said she thought he was a nice guy…guess she was wrong!!!!!!

 

[tocthesunrise]

Nothing to add......but that title gave me a much needed laugh on a Monday morning following a meeting with the "director".....

THANKS!!

 

[cocoberry10]

First, I agree that an ugly man can cheat just as quickly as a good looking man. We've all seen ugly men act like they are the ish - these guys are everywhere. As long as he has some kind of money going on...he ain't ugly any more to about 75% of us..lol

I have always believed that a man's top commodity is his ability to provide...and a woman's is how she looks. I don't think its right per se, but I believe it to be true. Why else would a good looking woman give an ugly man a chance at all? He was nice and most likely came across as a potential good provider.

Many times we as women want to discuss all we have going for ourselves with listing things like "I make good money" or "I own my own home" up top, when a man most likely does not care. Those are qualities we as women,are looking for in a mate. I think they are mainly thinking, "yea, yea, yea, but how do fill out this dress" .

:thatsall: Whether we like it or not, that's just how it goes!

 

[ChasingBliss]

Shoot ugly men have more confidence than beautiful women...

Thanks to Bird man, lil wayne, Ying Yang beasts, MOP and a whole slew of ugly arse rappers... So yeah, not only do many of them think they are all that, they can and do cheat...

 

[prettypuff1]

Yeah i am dating the Aesthetically challenged man..... Flat out, he provides for me.. I don't know how or why he does half of what he does but he sure does do it, with out complaint . My mother told me to stop dating the pretty men and go for this type and you will end up with a better relationship. I gave it a shot and it seems to be working pretty well .All the fine men I dated were jack arses and only seemed to want booty callserplexed.....
But i digress anywho, I heard some of them all... I get it worse becasue i am pretty but nevertheless here are some of my favorite comments have been,
- Man I thought you could do better
- I guess that is all you can do since you have a kid( that one earned them a cussing out)
- Why are you with him.
- There really is a shortage of cute men.....

 

[cocoberry10]

Shoot ugly men have more confidence than beautiful women...
Thanks to Bird man, lil wayne, Ying Yang beasts, MOP and a whole slew of ugly arse rappers... So yeah, not only do many of them think they are all that, they can and do cheat...

I needed to be reminded of this (esp. bolded). My friends tell me this all the time (I am beautiful and need to be more confident in myself for it). I dated an “aesthetically challenged” man, and he made me feel like the ugliest woman in the world. Most of the guys I’ve dated have been hotties or cuties (i.e. the Dwayne Martins, Idris, Boris, Mario Lopez types—yeah, the Latin boys like me too for some reason). Anyway, this guy was not my usual type (not that I actually have a type). He was 5’6, not very attractive in the face, but he seemed nice. Slowly, he started making me feel bad about myself. He would compare me to other women, he would compare me to model tall women (I’m 5’2, but very petite, with curves). If I would tell a story about a female, he would always ask “is she cute?” I never was insulted by any of the attractive guys I’ve dated. In fact, they’ve always said that one of the reasons they approached me was b/c of physical attraction (I’m old fashioned and don’t approach guys). I came to my senses, but this guy messed me up mentally pretty bad (I’m finally admitting this). And even though he’s long gone, he’s really shaken my sense of my “attractiveness.” Can you believe that?

 

[ChasingBliss]

I needed to be reminded of this (esp. bolded). My friends tell me this all the time (I am beautiful and need to be more confident in myself for it). I dated an “aesthetically challenged” man, and he made me feel like the ugliest woman in the world. Most of the guys I’ve dated have been hotties or cuties (i.e. the Dwayne Martins, Idris, Boris, Mario Lopez types—yeah, the Latin boys like me too for some reason). Anyway, this guy was not my usual type (not that I actually have a type). He was 5’6, not very attractive in the face, but he seemed nice. Slowly, he started making me feel bad about myself. He would compare me to other women, he would compare me to model tall women (I’m 5’2, but very petite, with curves). If I would tell a story about a female, he would always ask “is she cute?” I never was insulted by any of the attractive guys I’ve dated. In fact, they’ve always said that one of the reasons they approached me was b/c of physical attraction (I’m old fashioned and don’t approach guys). I came to my senses, but this guy messed me up mentally pretty bad (I’m finally admitting this). And even though he’s long gone, he’s really shaken my sense of my “attractiveness.” Can you believe that?

Girl you are good...ME, I would have left him suicidal..messing with me like that.

I bet he felt you looked too good for him so he wanted to make sure he brought you down a few notches just in case you realized it yourself...In stead of accepting you as you are and appreciating your beauty...

 

[lexi08]

I needed to be reminded of this (esp. bolded). My friends tell me this all the time (I am beautiful and need to be more confident in myself for it). I dated an “aesthetically challenged” man, and he made me feel like the ugliest woman in the world. Most of the guys I’ve dated have been hotties or cuties (i.e. the Dwayne Martins, Idris, Boris, Mario Lopez types—yeah, the Latin boys like me too for some reason). Anyway, this guy was not my usual type (not that I actually have a type). He was 5’6, not very attractive in the face, but he seemed nice. Slowly, he started making me feel bad about myself. He would compare me to other women, he would compare me to model tall women (I’m 5’2, but very petite, with curves). If I would tell a story about a female, he would always ask “is she cute?” I never was insulted by any of the attractive guys I’ve dated. In fact, they’ve always said that one of the reasons they approached me was b/c of physical attraction (I’m old fashioned and don’t approach guys). I came to my senses, but this guy messed me up mentally pretty bad (I’m finally admitting this). And even though he’s long gone, he’s really shaken my sense of my “attractiveness.” Can you believe that?

I agree with HoneyLemonDrop he just wanted to bring you down a notch or 2. I dated a guy like this too. He was about 5'7, aesthetically challenged but he was smart (an engineer) and he seemed nice, so I dated him. He tried everything to ruin my self esteem I'm petite also and he always would make negative comments about my weight, saying you are really small blah, blah, blah. He was also very manipulative. He also turned out to be abusive, so he was shown the door.......... A few years later I met another aesthetically challenged man, it was a disaster. He would always make comments about me wanting to be with a pretty boy, which is so not me. After that I decided no more aesthetically challenged men at least for a while. I just could not deal with it. My current SO is cute/handsome we are an aesthetic match

 

[sunshinebeautiful]

Many times we as women want to discuss all we have going for ourselves with listing things like "I make good money" or "I own my own home" up top, when a man most likely does not care. Those are qualities we as women,are looking for in a mate. I think they are mainly thinking, "yea, yea, yea, but how do fill out this dress".

As I get older, I'm starting to realize this more and more. I think I have a lot going for myself as far as "having myself together." Does that mean a damn thing to the average guy? Hayell no. Guess this means I need to hit the gym if I ever have a shot at dating again this lifetime.

 

[sunnydaze]

As I get older, I'm starting to realize this more and more. I think I have a lot going for myself as far as "having myself together." Does that mean a damn thing to the average guy? Hayell no. Guess this means I need to hit the gym if I ever have a shot at dating again this lifetime.

I hear ya..I think one of the main things we have to do is make keeping our outer appearance up a priority.

 

[lexi08]

I hear ya..I think one of the main things we have to do is make keeping our outer appearance up a priority.

I agree It took me a while to realize this, kept trying to tell myself it did not matter as much but it truly does especially when dealing with men.

 

[MissJ]

Shoot ugly men have more confidence than beautiful women...

Oh man! That is so true! My ex actually calls himself a "pretty boy." He spends more time prepping in the mirror than I do! He would tell me that he's the best looking man in the world! I would think to myself, "He can't believe that..." "Can he?"

 

[cocoberry10]

Girl you are good...ME, I would have left him suicidal..messing with me like that.

I bet he felt you looked too good for him so he wanted to make sure he brought you down a few notches just in case you realized it yourself...In stead of accepting you as you are and appreciating your beauty...

This is what my friends used to say. They were like, "have any of the other guys you've dated acted like that?" "No, of course not, b/c their good looks stand on their own!"

 

[ellennicole]

Offer...Acceptance...Consideration. Focus girl.
I'm glad I didn't find this site until after school. Wireless access to LHCF in all my classes would have caused me to fail.

Off, off subject. Yeah, during my 3L year I was IM-ing my friends all day in class. I can't imagine having access to this site when I was in law school. LOL

My new friend is not what I would call REALLY attractive-- or even attractive by society's standards. I'm trying to look beyond the superficial, and I can honestly say he's the SMAREST, and most considerate man I've ever met (so far). So, I'm trying to look beyond the physical and more into how the person treats me and makes me feel-- even on my worst days.

 

[Colliecole]

When I saw this thread I started cracking up. I'm like "No they didn't go there..."

I don't have an "aesthetically challenged man” Actually he's pretty good lookin'- some of my family has even labeled him as "fine" after meeting him 3 years ago but he's no model or anything. When I thought about it I could see the appeal in having a man who's less than average looking. I don’t know how many times my BF has come home with some story of a girl hitting on him or something, and sometimes it gets on my nerves. The problem is that he's a really sweet guy, and women have the tendency to try to cling to him. They go "wow you're such a nice guy and I can really talk to you, and your really cute too." And then eventually they’re throwing their panties at him. I mean it's so bad that his BOSS at his job for about three months strait was telling him about her horrible relationship with her husband and how "bad the SEX is between them now" and "Oh what she would do to get laid by a REAL MAN" and my man's dumb a$$ is coming home like "yeah poor lady. she's having such a bad marriage..." And I'm like "Cant you see she wants to f*** you!!" It wasn't until she finally invited him to her place for a drink he was like "Ohh..." No offence to other races but it really didn't help that she was a white woman...And I met this lady on more than one occasion so she knew who I was. Thank God he doesnt work for her anymore because I was about to whoop her a$$ and get him fired LOL. I mean I know he's not a cheater or anything, but it’s still really annoying to know some chick is probably trying to seduce my man. Feel like I gotta be like all the time!!

 

[Much2much41]

I know a very pretty lady that married an aesthetically challenged man, who in turn told her he's attracted to men

 

[cocoberry10]

Bumping b/c of the other thread

 

[tocktick]

Heck...I want me an "ugly" man...when they are too cute, then you have to worry about other chics scheming on him....is craig mack single?

oh hell no!

 

[Sly]

Disadvantages of Dating an Aesthetically Challenged Man :scratchch

. . . somebody may see you

 

[firecracker]

you think Dwayne Martin is comparable to Flava Flav? I always thought he was kinda cute. Guess ppl do have different taste. My ex wasn't that cute but he had the greatest personality in the world. He just became attractive to me over time. He thought my family didn't like him, and my brother told him that my family just didnt think he was that attractive but they didnt dislike him. I was mortified that he actually told him that!!!

Your brother sounds like Momand I.

 

[Bmack]

*Waves hand* I married onelook:

I think you all have listed the disadvantages but here are some notable comments I've gotten over the years:

-your children will not be cute
-he has to be good in bed
-he must be very nice
-he must have money
-you must have just given up
-you'll get tired of looking at him
-what's a pretty girl like you doing with a guy like that
-wait and have kids to see if it works out
-wow, you always dated PHINE guys
-I woudln't put y'all together or you two don't match

I got those comments from family and friends and yes you get tired of defending them but I have to say that I'm so over that.

I used to be really worried I'd see ex-bf's and they'd think "WOW __ really got with a dog" and yes in the past I've felt a tinge of envy seeing friends with the 'cute' hubbies and the proverbial cute kids but 10 years and two (cute) kids later, I think I've got something better than they do

See, I would have read them! People are so stupid at times. I would never comment on how someone man looks. I bet all these folks were not all that.
The funny thing about people is that some of them will say that someone else is “ugly” and they are a damn mess themselves. I can’t understand how someone could call another person’s mate unattractive.


It really boggles the mind. Everyone’s idea of attractive differs. A girlfriend of mine thinks that her man is super fione, I don’t agree. However I would never call him ugly – he is not but I say that to say it’s all subjective.