LETTING your man cheat

[SweetTea]

Just ran across this post on CNN. I couldn't disagree more. Our society needs to stop making excuses for men to cheat to the point that they think it's their right. So many men still cheat because their girlfriends/wives just accept it and stay with them, or worse, blame themselves. I don't really believe that men truly have to sleep with as many women as possible, especially after marriage. They do it because their SO lets them and society encourages it. I think most women like sex just as much as men. The difference is that society frowns upon women who admit they like sex. But more importantly, women have to be careful with sex. Men don't have to worry about pregnancy and often have less of a chance of catching STDs compared to women. If women were free of these fears, I think things would be a lot different.

http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/08/03/negotiated.infidelity/index.html

 

[JFemme]

DH and I listened to a conversation about this on the radio while riding home from the mall.

We both laughed out loud..with me remarking that I heard nothing bout women cheating, negotiating time for their man toys (boys)...

(granted I did not listen in depth)

 

[nikolite]

Yep, that's some crap. And I hate the fact that there's this huge myth perpetuated that all men want to cheat or that most men do. Neither of those are true. A higher sex drive doesn't mean one needs a greater variety of women. Most men can get by on masturbation every now and then when their wives aren't in the mood. And women want to stray just as much (even if its just to have someone else to listen to us or romance us). Cheating isn't about sex, but self-esteem, insecurity, depression, resentment, and a whole host of other emotional issues.

The author is trying to get some publicity by writing a book of pure shock value, and so are CNN for airing this. She was a high-end prostitute, for f*cks sake.

 

[*CherryPie*]

What she's saying is ridiculous.

She says that if you don't let your man cheat, he'll do it behind your back.

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?!?

He's cheating. Does it matter if you know or don't know? He's still disrespecting you!

Some women are so easy when it comes to men. That's the reason so many men behave the way they do.

 

[luckiestdestiny]

Thanks for the laugh, I mean link...

 

[BroadstreetBully]

I don't see anything wrong with couples exploring other sexual avenues if that is what makes them happy. I don't think a woman or man should do it because they believe that their spouse will still cheat behind their back otherwise. It should be something that satisfies both partners. There are many happy, fulfilling open marriages out there.

 

[preciouslove0x]

I don't see anything wrong with couples exploring other sexual avenues if that is what makes them happy. I don't think a woman or man should do it because they believe that their spouse will still cheat behind their back otherwise. It should be something that satisfies both partners. There are many happy, fulfilling open marriages out there.

sorry my personal opinion ----->

 

[MD_Lady]

At what point will MEN be held responsible for making THEIR desires known UP FRONT and seeking out women who AGREE with them? Why not tell the men who can't/don't want to commit that they should never delude a woman into expecting monogamy by agreeing to a committed relationship in the FIRST place? The VAST majority of pop psychology relationship advice seems to focus on "men being men" and women bending (sometimes, until they break) to accommodate them and I'm BEYOND sick of it (and don't EVEN get me started on people who completely disregard the role of socialization and reduce human beings down to a collection of urges and impulses). If a woman decides that "negotiated infidelity" is something that works for her in her relationship, I can't do anything but *shrug* about that. I cannot support, however, the idea that men have no choice but to be at the mercy of their loins and that women must either accept this or spend the rest of lives alone.

 

[BullGirl2010]

Oh my gosh!! She can not be serious!! Hum, a pros...te giving relationship advice???? I'll sure listen!!! :heated:

:endworld:

 

[ambergirl]

More post-feminist backlash IMO.

It always cracks me up when folks want to argue that men just gotta have it when viagra-type drugs are selling like hotcakes to men of all ages. And plenty of women have sex drives that are off the chain and don't pluck around.

Across the board women are being sent the message to settle for next to nothing when it comes to men, probably because women are excelling far beyond men in many categories. But rather then challenging men to up their game, they become more and more infantile, underachieving, and disloyal and folks (especially women) not only accept it they defend it. Sorry I believe MEN CAN DO BETTER if people stop making excuses for their sorry behavior.

 

[ambergirl]

One more thing...

Anybody who thinks they can "negotiate" their way out of their man falling for someone else and leaving them is out of their frigging mind. The so called open relationships I've seen have almost all ended the same way. One of the partners falls in love with one of their sidepieces and wants out of the primary relationship.

 

[nappystorm]

I don't see anything wrong with couples exploring other sexual avenues if that is what makes them happy. I don't think a woman or man should do it because they believe that their spouse will still cheat behind their back otherwise. It should be something that satisfies both partners. There are many happy, fulfilling open marriages out there.

I agree. It won't happen over here in Nappyland, but if they like it, I love it.

I read her book, Sugarbabe. It's a really good read. I liked it alot better when I thought it was a fiction novel though. I was rather horrified to find out that it's an autobiography. She has an interesting, amusing, and quirky way of telling a story.

 

[~Sparklingflame~]

I wonder how that piece would have went if it was about "Letting Your Woman Cheat."

 

[FoxyMoxie]

If it has to be negotiated is it really cheating? Isn't more of an one-sided open relationship?

 

[nappystorm]

If it has to be negotiated is it really cheating? Isn't more of an one-sided open relationship?

I saw her on Dr. Phil. She gets her swerve on too.

 

[SweetTea]

I wonder how that piece would have went if it was about "Letting Your Woman Cheat."

You know exactly how it would have went. Because apparently, it's "different" when women cheat. Apparently all men only cheat for sex and all women cheat out of some sort of emotional disconnect from their SO. What complete nonsense. Of course there are women who cheat just for sex. Look at how many women say their husband isn't the best they've ever had or that sometimes they think about their ex. And I guess men don't have emotions, and therefore can't also feel emotional disconnect from their SOs. Some women just become something else when they get married and it's very stressful mentally for the husband, especially when the wife won't talk to him, only lash out at him, seeming unreasonably angry. I remember watching a documentary once on strippers (don't judge me) and one of the strippers being interviewed was laughing at how many men come in just to talk. They have to go out and pay strippers to talk to them and let them vent, because they can't talk to their own wives. But let a woman go and vent to her ex (I'm not saying it's right) and her SO will go nuts. My friend recently went through drama with talking to a guy she wasn't "supposed" to and her boyfriend made a big Facebook drama out of it, including hacking her account and setting her status to say she cheated on him.

 

[MD_Lady]

More post-feminist backlash IMO.

It always cracks me up when folks want to argue that men just gotta have it when viagra-type drugs are selling like hotcakes to men of all ages. And plenty of women have sex drives that are off the chain and don't pluck around.

Across the board women are being sent the message to settle for next to nothing when it comes to men, probably because women are excelling far beyond men in many categories. But rather then challenging men to up their game, they become more and more infantile, underachieving, and disloyal and folks (especially women) not only accept it they defend it. Sorry I believe MEN CAN DO BETTER if people stop making excuses for their sorry behavior.

Okay!! I remember seeing one of her interviews where she talked about times when women had to "close their legs" (pregnancy was one of her examples) and thought negotiated infidelity was perfect for these circumstances. Well, what about times when men have/chose to keep their zippers up because of stress, fatigue, poor body image, ED, illness, injury, etc.? Even for the folks who go the stereotypical route and think men only "need" sex and women only "need" love, what about the men who don't provide their wives tenderness, kindness, and understanding? A woman breathes too hard and a man is given a pass to throw his vows out the window, but a woman gets nothing from her relationship but a ring and a title and she's supposed to grin and bear it?