Letting Love Go...

I

itismehmmkay

Well-Known Member
Has anyone ever done this:
"If you love something, let it go, if i comes back it's yours..."

Basically you run the risk of it not coming back, but sometimes it's worth it. Stories please. :yep:
 
I've done it before, but with friends and not necessarily relationships.

I've had friends whom I've had to separate from for various issues, and I've moved on. Mostly, at some point or another, we've come back to each other through fate or circumstance and worked things out. Some, I've had to learn to let go and let God.

There were several guys I've dated but for whatever reason, it didn't work. One was just in too much drama for my taste, and I just couldn't deal with it. We briefly became involved once more before we just let it go. Another was really great but I was 16, he was 18 and he was going to school. I didn't want to hold him down into anything, so I let him go to school and I moved on. We're still cool with one another, but I have someone whom I'm happy with.

Overall, I don't care who you are, if you're deeply in love and there are no true reasons to let someone go (deep issues they/you have, instability, things only God can help, etc.), then don't even bother testing this theory. You will only end up hurting that person... and in the end yourself, for after they're over feeling 'rejected,' they'll move on.

My ex would dump me and come back over and over. After 1.5 years of garbage, when he dumped me for some more nonsense, I had already had several prospective replacements lined up. After he attempted to come back, imagine how hurt he was when I was truly done.

Don't test a true love if there's no need for it.
 
I am going through something where I feel the need to let go. I am in a long distance relationship with talk of marriage. He has been on vacation for over two months, during this time, I have only heard from him at the most 6 times the laast being May 3d. During his absence, an old flame has moved back into town. Now this old flame was just a friend with benenfits back in the day bout ten years ago when he was working as an over the road trucker. We would hook up each time he was in town. Well now he is no longer driving but has moved back home and is working locally. I ran into him a few weeks ago, we exchanged numbers and he has been blowing up my phone. So right now I am torn between trying to figure out what is going on with the man I love desperately asking myself should I continue to wait or should I just move on and take that bird in the hand.

I'm not interested in having only a physical relationship which is what it would be if I hook up with old flame. I need the physical comfort but I also need more. I am so tempted to send a Dear John and take that bird in the hand, but as I said I need more although I KNOW old flame will be a lot of fun and leave me feelin oh so nice lol. But then I think what if there is a valid reason for his absence he is after all in a whole other country.
 
Last edited:
Dont have a story but maybe it'll come true one day. I had to let someone go so I can be happy and be happy for them. I do hope in the back of my mind that one day it will come back around though.
 
i've done it and it didnt come back:perplexed.
he's still in the picture but not in that way. its been 7 years:look:
 
itismehmmkay said:
Has anyone ever done this:
"If you love something, let it go, if i comes back it's yours..."

Basically you run the risk of it not coming back, but sometimes it's worth it. Stories please. :yep:
Click to expand...


My X,I said this as a prayer "if you love some......" Set them Free..... Well I did and he never came back to me. God is Good though b/c God got me out of a very bad situation. I am so much more blessed and highly favored now than I was 8 years ago. I was stuck!
 
TheLaurynDoll said:
I've done it before, but with friends and not necessarily relationships.

I've had friends whom I've had to separate from for various issues, and I've moved on. Mostly, at some point or another, we've come back to each other through fate or circumstance and worked things out. Some, I've had to learn to let go and let God.

There were several guys I've dated but for whatever reason, it didn't work. One was just in too much drama for my taste, and I just couldn't deal with it. We briefly became involved once more before we just let it go. Another was really great but I was 16, he was 18 and he was going to school. I didn't want to hold him down into anything, so I let him go to school and I moved on. We're still cool with one another, but I have someone whom I'm happy with.

Overall, I don't care who you are, if you're deeply in love and there are no true reasons to let someone go (deep issues they/you have, instability, things only God can help, etc.), then don't even bother testing this theory. You will only end up hurting that person... and in the end yourself, for after they're over feeling 'rejected,' they'll move on.

My ex would dump me and come back over and over. After 1.5 years of garbage, when he dumped me for some more nonsense, I had already had several prospective replacements lined up. After he attempted to come back, imagine how hurt he was when I was truly done.

Don't test a true love if there's no need for it.
Click to expand...
you dont miss your water intill your well runs dry.......thats bhow it usually be.
 
the only way i can see this not turning into a vicious cylce of 2 pple who have a history going back back forth and forth with each other

i believe in letting things simmer down when its not the time for that relationship such as a long distance relationship or when both people ar enot on the same page but either way i dont think no one should wait for anyone life is too short for that i think letting love go should only apply to when in the situations i applied above is if it is 'menat to be' then it will work itself out eg when after moving on with ur lives you meet up again and both happen to be single and available

i dont know..i always interpret this as letting go and not forcing things and letting things happen
 
as much as i loved and still love my ex i broke up with him a while back. i now want to get back with him but the time away really gave both of us a chance to reflect on the relationship.

i don't know if he wants us to get back but I'm going to try. Letting love go gave me the op to work on myself. I am very happy for that and will be just as happy with whatever the outcome is.
 
They may come back...

But a lot of times, they won't.

As people mentioned already, life is too short to wait around for someone.

I think that once you have let someone go, you have to let them go without the expectation that they will come back to you.
 
Wooooooooooweee, I just let one go. I am good most days but one some I have flashbacks and the good memories and I am a mess. I feel like he has some growing to do and heck I may have some to do as well. If it does come back, hey yay. If not then oh well, I can't keep living life waiting. Some changes, NO most changes don't happen when you are waiting, watching and wanting. It gets better over time....right?
 
DaPPeR said:
I should but I'm so scared he won't come back......
Click to expand...

Girl we broke up and we still haven't let GO... :look: it's really scary. We broke up b/c we r young and our parents thought we were getting a lil 2 serious.. and it was causing us to fight. But we never stop loving each other.. We actually didn't change much after we broke.. except the title :ohwell: (I want my effin title back!!!)

NYLegalNewbie said:
They may come back... But a lot of times, they won't.

As people mentioned already, life is too short to wait around for someone.

I think that once you have let someone go, you have to let them go without the expectation that they will come back to you.[/quote]

HOW?
Click to expand...
 
i think it depends on the person and the level of awareness, consciousness and what love means to them.....to me letting go doesn't mean the person will actually "leave"...sometimes people are on different levels, grow apart and their own self growth and journey or your own will come to a halt trying to hold onto something that is no longer serving you for your better good, however that in no way means the love is lost and the saying of

if you really love something , let it go and if it comes back to you its yours is about loving freely instead of in fear.....when you are filled with love you already know that you don't need love from that other person, however that doesnt mean you don't enjoy it, grateful or appreciate it but you know that its not up to you to hold anybody down and just as you have been given free will by GOD to experience as you choose to, our own divine natures operating from a place of love will also allow others to do the same thing even if it "hurts" us....the hurt will pass

the love if its genuine will remain.....on both ends even if the dynamics change.....if they do its for the greater good of both of you when looked at in the right light

when a person has the option to leave, when you allow the other person to freely choose to stay or leave if thats what they want to do and they choose to stay without the other scared to death of them leaving hence causing them to act out in fearful ways using guilt, emotional manipulation and other tactics to keep somebody from leaving its two different experiences

a "love" based on fear will always have folks on the verge of stress and focusing on the what if's they leave me omigod what will I do if I don't have them instead of enjoying the precious gift of the present and sharing and appreciating what you do have at this moment in time

if a person still needs to experience outside of you they can still come back to you, but most of us will shut that person out not understanding why they feel the need to leave and we can easily burn our own bridges out of spite, pride and hurt....

the key is to keep living for you be open to love

love to love

don't love to be loved

when you love to love, you will experience it around you even if its not from a "particular" person
 
Last edited:
smwrigh3 said:
I think that once you have let someone go, you have to let them go without the expectation that they will come back to you.[/quote]
Click to expand...

let them go out of love not out of selfishness....to love another person is to want the greatest good for them....if that greater good is outside of you wish them well on their journey in life, wish them love, happiness

to really love somebody is to want for them what they want for themselves, now what you want them to want for you

what you put out is what you get out....wish for others what you wish for yourself
 
I let my current SO go in 2007. We had different views of our future...we weren't enemies or anything like that. There was no drama. It's just that I wanted to be serious about some stuff and he didn't. So we parted for around 6 months.

At first I did the no-contact thing, I didn't reply to phone calls or e-mails or anything. He was frustrated, but realized slowly that he wanted to come back. We started talking when his brother died, he came to my house and we drank to his honor and talked the night away.

He said he wanted to come back, so I asked him if he was really serious this time and please take some time to think about it, because I didn't want to waste my time with something that wouldn't lead anywhere. He thought about it and we got back together. It was sooooo difficult for me to trust him again and give myself to him completely :nono:

All in all, I think it was good for him to rearrange his priorities and good for me that HE was the one begging to come back. :D

If we break up again, that's it. I can't do the back and forth anymore. It would break my heart.

The sad thing and good thing that came out of the episode is that I feel 1000 times stronger now. When we broke up I cried my heart out and I couldn't breathe, anxiety attacks etc etc. Now I'm more aloof and I will not invest my heart that deeply again :nono: Sad, but true! It's all for the best though, because I don't want to go into the monkeybrain again.
 
Last edited:
FlowerHair said:
I let my current SO go in 2007. We had different views of our future...we weren't enemies or anything like that. There was no drama. It's just that I wanted to be serious about some stuff and he didn't. So we parted for around 6 months.

At first I did the no-contact thing, I didn't reply to phone calls or e-mails or anything. He was frustrated, but realized slowly that he wanted to come back. We started talking when his brother died, he came to my house and we drank to his honor and talked the night away.

He said he wanted to come back, so I asked him if he was really serious this time and please take some time to think about it, because I didn't want to waste my time with something that wouldn't lead anywhere. He thought about it and we got back together. It was sooooo difficult for me to trust him again and give myself to him completely :nono:

All in all, I think it was good for him to rearrange his priorities and good for me that HE was the one begging to come back. :D

If we break up again, that's it. I can't do the back and forth anymore. It would break my heart.

The sad thing and good thing that came out of the episode is that I feel 1000 times stronger now. When we broke up I cried my heart out and I couldn't breathe, anxiety attacks etc etc. Now I'm more aloof and I will not invest my heart that deeply again :nono: Sad, but true! It's all for the best though, because I don't want to go into the monkeybrain again.
Click to expand...

I know just what you mean with the bolded. IMO, that disconnect is a good thing. It's like, when you've already cried your eyes out over this person, your heart cant be broken by them again in the same way.
 
nicola.kirwan said:
I know just what you mean with the bolded. IMO, that disconnect is a good thing. It's like, when you've already cried your eyes out over this person, your heart cant be broken by them again in the same way.
Click to expand...

Soooooooo True!
When you're in love with someone and they break you heart in a way which you would never expect them to...and out of your genuine love, u decide to give them another chance, you now know to expect the unexpected, it's not the same. Your guard is up and it is extremely hard to put it down when the person you were once so vulnerable to hurt you.
 
tiara76 said:
let them go out of love not out of selfishness....to love another person is to want the greatest good for them....if that greater good is outside of you wish them well on their journey in life, wish them love, happiness

to really love somebody is to want for them what they want for themselves, now what you want them to want for you

what you put out is what you get out....wish for others what you wish for yourself
Click to expand...

I told my ex that and he acts like I said the craziest stuff on earth. I told him" I want you happy even if its not with me" He looked at me like I called his momma a frog or something. He says; "if you are cool with me being with somebody else did you ever really love me, because I dont't feel like that for you".....Why is it SOOO hard to understand?
If I love you , I love you....forever, doesn't mean we will be together but I still love you. Won't be necessarily IN LOVE/LIKE you but I still want the best for you, whatever that is....Isn't that what love is ?
 
The Girl said:
I told my ex that and he acts like I said the craziest stuff on earth. I told him" I want you happy even if its not with me" He looked at me like I called his momma a frog or something. He says; "if you are cool with me being with somebody else did you ever really love me, because I dont't feel like that for you".....Why is it SOOO hard to understand?
If I love you , I love you....forever, doesn't mean we will be together but I still love you. Won't be necessarily IN LOVE/LIKE you but I still want the best for you, whatever that is....Isn't that what love is ?
Click to expand...

I said that to my ex as well....he wasn't open to love to afraid to get hurt, but on deeper levels he understands and communicates....after we broke up i was hurt for about 2 weeks...and i tried to cut off communication with him to "hurt' him back and I realized that I wasn't mad at him and I didn't like ignoring him......i love him to subatomic pieces and i always will.....what he needs to experience in life just may involve him experiencing different things with different people because he isn't to my level yet and at the time he didn't want to be.....we still talk and I don't hold anything against him...our relationship is changed, however the love is strong as ever.....I have strong loving relationships with all the males close to me in my life and for some of them its hard not "being" with me, but the love they feel overrides anything else...and vice versa with me.....love really isn't a bad, hurting feeling.....love has never hurt me, people who don't know how to love and who feel hurt and pain and fears have....and thats understandable and its nothing I ever hold against them and its nothing that will ever cause me to stop loving them.....
 
The Girl said:
I told my ex that and he acts like I said the craziest stuff on earth. I told him" I want you happy even if its not with me" He looked at me like I called his momma a frog or something. He says; "if you are cool with me being with somebody else did you ever really love me, because I dont't feel like that for you".....Why is it SOOO hard to understand?
If I love you , I love you....forever, doesn't mean we will be together but I still love you. Won't be necessarily IN LOVE/LIKE you but I still want the best for you, whatever that is....Isn't that what love is ?
Click to expand...

Okay, I get where he's coming from, since I just had a similar response to someone who believes in the "if you love them, let them go" thing. While the better part of me says to have faith and if it's meant to be it will be, I also want to say, "Well, if you love me, then make it work."

I do agree with your description of love, though. There can just be some mixed/confused messages when one person is saying "If you move on, I'll understand," and the other person is saying "I don't want to move on...and I don't want you to move on either."
 
Last edited:
tiara76 said:
I said that to my ex as well....he wasn't open to love to afraid to get hurt, but on deeper levels he understands and communicates....after we broke up i was hurt for about 2 weeks...and i tried to cut off communication with him to "hurt' him back and I realized that I wasn't mad at him and I didn't like ignoring him......i love him to subatomic pieces and i always will.....what he needs to experience in life just may involve him experiencing different things with different people because he isn't to my level yet and at the time he didn't want to be.....we still talk and I don't hold anything against him...our relationship is changed, however the love is strong as ever.....I have strong loving relationships with all the males close to me in my life and for some of them its hard not "being" with me, but the love they feel overrides anything else...and vice versa with me.....love really isn't a bad, hurting feeling.....love has never hurt me, people who don't know how to love and who feel hurt and pain and fears have....and thats understandable and its nothing I ever hold against them and its nothing that will ever cause me to stop loving them.....
Click to expand...
Girrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrl, this why we haven't spoken.....b/c I wasn't ready for your truths but I do feel you and once I get the time difrences and YOUR schedule worked out...:yep:...cuz I am considerate...to a fault:wallbash:
 
I believe it to some extent. I now a lot of people who ended up being bac togtehr after several years of dating someone else or being away from eachother. I lean more towards "if its meant to be it will be" mantra.
 
I pray for this ending everyday. I think it is a part of what helps me move forward. Hoping that we'll be together again, and better and wiser for the time apart. God I pray for that. Unlike you, I was too reserved with my love the first time. If I had the chance, I would make sure that he knows how much I love him. I really hope it works out with you two. Please don't allow yourself to be bound by your past. Forgive and open your heart- otherwise you are wasting both of your time. Give it a fair chance from the start.

FlowerHair said:
I let my current SO go in 2007. We had different views of our future...we weren't enemies or anything like that. There was no drama. It's just that I wanted to be serious about some stuff and he didn't. So we parted for around 6 months.

At first I did the no-contact thing, I didn't reply to phone calls or e-mails or anything. He was frustrated, but realized slowly that he wanted to come back. We started talking when his brother died, he came to my house and we drank to his honor and talked the night away.

He said he wanted to come back, so I asked him if he was really serious this time and please take some time to think about it, because I didn't want to waste my time with something that wouldn't lead anywhere. He thought about it and we got back together. It was sooooo difficult for me to trust him again and give myself to him completely :nono:

All in all, I think it was good for him to rearrange his priorities and good for me that HE was the one begging to come back. :D

If we break up again, that's it. I can't do the back and forth anymore. It would break my heart.

The sad thing and good thing that came out of the episode is that I feel 1000 times stronger now. When we broke up I cried my heart out and I couldn't breathe, anxiety attacks etc etc. Now I'm more aloof and I will not invest my heart that deeply again :nono: Sad, but true! It's all for the best though, because I don't want to go into the monkeybrain again.
Click to expand...
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

Suri
Relationships Ending, Letting Go & Healing
Replies
15
Views
449
Suri
Suri
snugglez41685
Letting my emotions flow....
2
Replies
43
Views
1K
hurricane
hurricane
Netta1
"Letting Go"
Replies
2
Views
1K
Netta1
Netta1
ambergirl
Love Without Fear!
Replies
7
Views
248
Ivey14
I
Jenaee
Letting friends go....
Replies
9
Views
1K
SweetCaramel1
SweetCaramel1
Back
Top