Ladies In Long Distance Relationships....?

[jturner7156]

As I look at the two popular threads floating around (ElizaBlue's and Successful Online Dating Stories), I realize that long distance relationships can be successful. However, I am currently involved in a LDR that has potential myself but sometimes, I wanna say, maybe I should just wait til God sends me someone local b/c of not being able to see the person everyday. So the question I have for you ladies is, how often do you see your long distant SO? How do you all balance the visits, etc? Also, how far away is your SO (mileage)? Or whatever else you want to say about making your LDR successful...I need tips and patience!

 

[Ms Red]

Well we are at the beginning of a relationship (dating)... About 1,200 miles away. erplexed

So far since May 1st ('first date') we have spent 16 days together (he came to visit me first; I went to visit him; then my work took me near him and we met halfway).

The hardest thing I am finding is feeling 100% trust... I just think distance can increase trust issues if you let it fester-- but he does a good job of calling/texting/e-mailing everyday and we communicate better.

He has already said 'You need to move up here' but I'm not ready until I walk down the aisle and I expressed that to him.... so only time will tell.

I look forward to the responses-- I'm looking for encouragement too

 

[honeycomb719]

As I look at the two popular threads floating around (ElizaBlue's and Successful Online Dating Stories), I realize that long distance relationships can be successful. However, I am currently involved in a LDR that has potential myself but sometimes, I wanna say, maybe I should just wait til God sends me someone local b/c of not being able to see the person everyday. So the question I have for you ladies is, how often do you see your long distant SO? How do you all balance the visits, etc? Also, how far away is your SO (mileage)? Or whatever else you want to say about making your LDR successful...I need tips and patience!

Im in a LDR. It is working out so far. The problems we have encountered has nothing to do with the distance between us. We are approximately 140miles apart. Im in MI he's in OH, which amounts to about a 2hr drive. We see each other quite often, just about every weekend, and other times between that. Im more flexible since Im unemployed so I can visit during the week as well when I see fit. We alternate on who drives to see one another, but that is not a given. Some times he visits me weekend after weekend or vice versa.
As far as making it work, it just depends on the level of commitment you guys have to one another and if you are willing to sacrifice alot of things mutually. Patience is definitely needed cause its easy to get frustrated and get ready to through your hands up. I was there last week sometimes and after receiving some well needed advice from some ladies here on the situation at the time we are working through it together. Im actually in OH now as I type this message (needed some face to face make-up time) lol..
Anywho, I say the biggest thing you both need to have is a strong commitment to the relationship. If you have that everything else can be worked out, with ALOT of effort.

Good Luck!!

 

[blkbeauty]

It depends on the person and they depth of the relationship. I was with a guy that I was very much in love with for 10 years and we lived together. After 7 years he decide to move to NYC to work. Our relationship didn't survive because we were already losing the battle prior to his move(another post). I guess the move was suppose to heal our relationship. As they some will say Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but in our case in made my mind wander. I became more happy when he was gone (NYC) then when he was home.

We finally called it quits back in October. He still resides in NYC.

 

[Opalsunset]

I'm in a LDR too. Right now it's nothing official, but at the same time It feels serious. Well he moved about three months ago, originally he was in Missouri and I'm in New York, but he had a job opening in California so from being just about 1,100 miles away we are now 4,000 miles away. Which isn't easy but we both have a deep commitment to each other, and we both trust each other completely.I am ready to make it work however I can..We are working on visiting each other soon.

 

[Chanel's Tresses]

My relationship is new but I can say what makes it work the most is my man makes me feel like I am part of his everyday life no matter how far away we are at the time. When he was overseas there was a 6 hour difference but even that didn't stop us from staying connected. Aside from the phone calls, texts, and emails we also write letters. He makes me a part of everything he does.

 

[Mejayt]

I am currently in a long distance relationship. We live about 2.5 hrs away. We take turns visiting each other. I see him every other weekend. I talk to him everyday. We talk on the phone and text each other. Communication is a key factor in making any type of relationship work. Sometimes I have insecurities that he will try to find someone closer to be with but he reassures me that he wants to be with me. Each of you just have to be committed to making it work and work at it.

 

[sky_blu]

Im currently not in a LDR but I was just curious as to how you all ended up in these LDR and has anything changed from the time you started dating until now?

 

[Opalsunset]

Im currently not in a LDR but I was just curious as to how you all ended up in these LDR and has anything changed from the time you started dating until now?

For me (Still not an official relationship but very close to it) We started off in the same business together so it was very professional. We found out we had a lot in common so we started emailing more friendly personal emails and we did that for about a year until we got closer and it just became more. I love everything about him right now to his quirks and that is how things escalated for us. It's to the point now where neither of us could see each other not being in each others lives.

 

[VioletWylde]

I've been in a LDR for close to 2 years now. My SO and I are about 1,400 miles apart. We were both students when we started dating. Visits range 1-6 weeks.
While we do miss eachother alot, we communicate through email and messenger. We use Skype or Yahoo voice to avoid huge phone bills and make use of webcams so that we can see eachother's faces.

Every so often we send care packages to one another. I really like that because I can pick things that have sentimental value, things that are special because he knows what I was thinking when I picked it out. It doesn't need to be expensive, it really is more of an emotional gesture. I always include a letter. I also tote my digital camera around with me and if I see something crazy or funny I'll snap a picture or take an account of what is going on in my life.

Everytime we see eachother, we have a really great time together. It takes work to balance the kinds of conversation topics--serious future-oriented and talk about little things--and timing. Learning to just be together is something really nice when you get comfortable.

Sometimes you WILL irk eachother's nerves, but that's any relationship. I feel like this can be magnified in LDRs because you don't see eachother face to face constantly. The growing pains of a normal relationship can sometimes happen in a very short time during a visit.

Instead of having one spat and then having time to make up and be calm for a while before the next, you might have more than one in a single day. You might have ones that are seemingly made up of multiple issues that nobody spoke up about. I think that's normal because you have to get used to eachother's habits in large batches instead of over time. My SO and I didn't argue at all for the first two visits. Third time was the charm, but we're actually closer for it.

Toward the end of the visit, it gets harder not to be preoccupied with parting for another span of time. Try not to let it distract you too much, go out and make memories, take pictures and spend quality time.

I can never sleep the night before he leaves, so I tend to stay up. I usually write him a letter for his flight home. It's a nice way to explain feelings and to just say things that you were too shy to say. I write more easily than I speak. I never let him have it until he leaves.

There are plenty of ups and downs like any relationship, but technology has taken off some of the pressure. You can't always be sure of what will happen, but for me, this has been a wonderful relationship. I hope yours is too. HTH